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On this episode of Pause to Go, host Bree Luck introduces the fourth season of the podcast, which will focus on midlife concerns and adventures, particularly perimenopause and menopause. Bree explains that she started the podcast to better understand...
On this episode of Pause to Go, host Bree Luck introduces the fourth season of the podcast, which will focus on midlife concerns and adventures, particularly perimenopause and menopause. Bree explains that she started the podcast to better understand what was happening in her own body and brain, and to explore the societal aspects of being a woman in midlife. Throughout the season, listeners can expect to hear heartfelt conversations, personal stories, and expert insights on making the most of life's transitions. Join Bree as she cycles back to where it all began, explores the ups and downs of midlife, and lists the top 34 side effects of perimenopause.
***
[00:01:30] Midlife transitions.
[00:07:31] Redoing puberty in midlife.
[00:09:17] Hot flashes vs. cold flashes.
[00:13:21] Perimenopause and the 34 most common side effects
[00:21:38] Cold flashes.
[00:22:23] Midlife can be great.
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Transcript of Episode:
(Please note that this transcript was generated by a bot, and has not been edited by a sentient human. Any errors are a reminder of how incredible humans are!)
[00:00:00] Where is the manual for that y'all? Where is the what to expect when that baby grows up and has their own ideas and ventures out into the world and you're left to create a new identity while also rooting for your kid and releasing all expectations about them? That's the book that I want to read.
[00:00:22] Welcome to Pause To Go, the podcast that's all about making the most of life's transitions from middle school through menopause. I'm your host, Bree Luck joining you as we embark on a journey of self-discovery. And questionable decisions. Get ready for heartfelt conversations, expert insights and personal stories that'll have you laughing, crying, and saying, thank goodness I'm not alone.
[00:00:50] If you've lost your midlife crisis survival kit, we've got you covered. So join me, won't you, and together we can pause to go.
[00:01:05] So we are now beginning season four of the Pause To Go podcast, and in this season I am actually going to, excuse the pun, cycle back to where we began, and that is with perimenopause and menopause and all the other midlife concerns and foibles and adventures and breakdowns and advantages throughout the season.
[00:01:30] You see, I started. Pause to go talking about perimenopause and menopause because it kept coming up with my clients and in my community. And also, frankly, I had just turned 48 then, and I really, really, really wanted to have a better understanding of what the heck was going on in my body and in my brain.
[00:01:51] And how I could make sense of that. And I was also really interested in exploring the societal aspects of being. For me, being a woman in midlife, I'm gonna try not to use gendered language as much in the exploration this season. I probably will sometimes, but we know that lots of people with ovaries, lots of people.
[00:02:17] Who are going through menopause do not identify as women. So, There we go. So I'm gonna try to do a better job of being more representative this season in my imperfect, but what is it? Ambitious way. So, lemme go back a little bit. In the first season of Pause To Go, we had all sorts of people come on to talk about perimenopause and menopause, from sexuality to career changes to health concerns.
[00:02:48] We talked about hot flashes and invisibility and how to find a spark in your relationship, and you all sent so much great feedback about it. I still get messages about those episodes and then at the end of that season, We moved on to two more seasons that we're looking at different aspects of transitions.
[00:03:10] So season two was all about creative change makers, and season three was about time, and I love those seasons too. But when I send out questions or requests for topics that listeners wanna hear on social media, what I hear the most is. Hey, can you gimme more stories about perimenopause and menopause? And so here we are and I'm turning 50 this summer.
[00:03:40] It's exciting. There's so much going on. My kids are both gonna be out of the house soon. My older daughter just graduated from college. My younger daughter just graduated from high school last week, and the younger daughter, it's not like she's heading to college an hour or so away. No, she's moving off to Ireland in September.
[00:04:01] I mean, that's far. I live in Virginia, for those of you who don't know, and I'm really feeling this transition. Most of that is about the emotional impact of midlife transitions. I'm caught up in the family changes that are happening. I've lost some family members and friends who were very, very dear to me in the last year.
[00:04:25] So I'm just acutely aware of endings and beginnings and shifting relationships and all that stuff. And speaking of which, I'm super excited because I'm gonna have a marvelous new friend of mine. Carol Michigan on to talk about how to use our language to cultivate new relationships with our adult children.
[00:04:51] Like where's the manual for that y'all? Where is the what to expect when that baby grows up and has their own ideas and ventures out into the world and you're left to create a new identity while also rooting for your kid and releasing all expectations about them? That's the book that I want to read.
[00:05:09] But instead, I'll host this podcast and bring on people who can help us navigate those relationships to time and self and our bodies that are shifting, and our children help us muddle through that mess. I know that we learn the most when we can attach facts or concepts to story. And so as we return to perimenopause and menopause with our midlife concerns, we will talk to experts, but we're really gonna focus on real life stories, stories of people with ovaries and uteruses who have been through or are going through perimenopause or menopause.
[00:05:55] Uh, I'll tell stories. Guests will share their experiences, and I want you to share your stories too. I also. Recently took my younger daughter, the one who just graduated, and we went to see the new film based on the classic Tweenage book. Are you there? God, it's me, Margaret. I just wanna say thank you, Judy Bloom.
[00:06:18] Oh gosh. I'll be honest. I really just balled the hallway through the film. I thought about my childhood best friend Margaret, and our first experiences when we got our periods. The first time we used tampons, I think it was in a department store. Oh my gosh, Margaret, I'm sorry. I won't, I won't talk about your period, but I'm so glad that we went through getting our periods together, that we went through the beginning of puberty together and all of its complications.
[00:06:52] It was so important to have someone to share in our awkward adolescent way what we were going through, and so my hope is that this podcast will do the same for you because in many ways, Perimenopause is a lot like puberty. We're having all of these major hormonal shifts. The world is seeing us differently.
[00:07:17] Our whole bodies and brains are earthquake and we are just trying to like hang in there and figure out who we are in this new stage. For me, doing this perimenopause, Exploration is a little bit like a chance to redo puberty, like reparenting myself, giving myself the gift of doing puberty again in the way that I would want to do it for myself.
[00:07:53] And my hope is that if you're going through these massive changes, that you take some comfort in having a friend. Our friends to share your journey with. And so that's where we are. And I'm actually gonna start by telling a, a little bit of a personal experience, which is that I feel so weird. This is a recurring thing.
[00:08:18] This is, this is not new that I feel weird. I generally embrace being my weird ass self, but this feeling. Of feeling like I'm different from other people in ways that are sometimes uncomfortable. It happened in puberty too, right? It's a feeling of I feel like what I'm going through is what nobody else is going through.
[00:08:46] And then you get on the internet and you may find something about it, but nobody's really talking about it, right? And there are also hot buttoned things that people do talk about that get a lot of attention, which is great because it probably means that a lot of people are experiencing them. But then if you have a side effect of, let's say, perimenopause that other people don't experience, it can make you feel even more alienated.
[00:09:17] For example, hot flashes are the big thing. All the jokes are about hot flashes, even though it's not really funny. It's something that we've chosen to laugh about. I mean, I get that gallows humor. I get it. I sort of feel like it's okay for people who have hot flashes to joke about hot flashes, but if you don't have hot flashes, it ain't your joke to tell because sometimes it feels like we're laughing at instead of laughing with, and that's something I'd really like to shift.
[00:09:45] I digress. So many people have these hot flashes, but I don't have them. I have something else entirely. What I have are cold flashes. I get cold, I get like shivers to my spine, like I can't get warm, and it seems to happen a lot like hot flashes happen for other people. I'm still having a cycle, a menstrual cycle, and it typically happens in the eight to 10 days before menstruation begins.
[00:10:17] So I get waves of being freezing cold no matter what. Actually, my wonderful stepmother, Leslie, thank you, Leslie gave me this device that I've been covering for a long, long time, which is called the Bon Charge Sauna Blanket. There's no kickback for this. I do not have an affiliate with bond charge. But I have their sauna blanket.
[00:10:45] It's kind of amazing. And I get in that thing. Even now, it's summertime, so it's June, and I get in that thing and it is awesome. I love it. If you like saunas, it's a great way to get that heat at home. It's portable. You can take it with you if you're going on a road trip somewhere, and you can really get that feeling of getting warm to the core.
[00:11:12] If you're a cold person like I am, you know what I mean? So I'll be in this sauna of blanket and I'll have it heated up to 164 degrees Fahrenheit, and I'll be feeling good. And then all of a sudden I'll just start shivering. I'm, I'm cold. So cold. And. It's not just nervous, shivering, it's cold, and no matter how warm the blanket is, my body just can't get warm for a little while.
[00:11:43] Typically, that lasts for just a few minutes at a time. It happens in waves, but I just wanted to let you all know that because I don't know anybody else who has cold flashes. But I thought it was kind of cool. So I looked it up to see if cold flashes might be, you know, a thing. And when I was looking it up, I started to compile all of the side effects of perimenopause.
[00:12:13] This is not a comprehensive list, but it's a lot. And some of them were ones that I didn't know, so take a listen. And if you are feeling any of these or experiencing any of these, just know that we will probably be covering it at some point on this podcast. And if you have. Um, menopause experience or a perimenopause experience that I have not listed here, let me know because I wanna keep adding to this list.
[00:12:50] I want to add to it so that people don't feel alone. If you have. Any side effects of perimenopause. I don't want you to feel lonely in your experience. Let us get into the side effects of perimenopause, number one, irregular periods. I mean, that seems pretty obvious, right? Most people are technically in menopause.
[00:13:17] At the point of 12 months after their final menstruation. So I say most people because some people have a sudden onset of menopause because of something like removal of the uterus and ovaries or some kind of trauma or medical intervention. But in general, people who menstruate go through a period of five to 10 years when our periods get irregular.
[00:13:43] It can be as much as 15. I don't wanna scare you, and I'm sure some people are under five, but in general, we're looking at five to 10 years. When we are experiencing some irregularity in our periods now, I used to think that that meant that our periods just sort of got further and further apart, but for some people it doesn't have to mean that some people have heavier periods or more frequent periods.
[00:14:09] For a while, I had a period that lasted for 28 days during a time of really high stress, and then it completely went back to regular. Periods are telling y'all. I will say this though, if you have reached menopause. Meaning you've gone for a year without menstruating and then you start bleeding again. Get that checked out please.
[00:14:34] I am not a doctor. I'm just a know-it-all, but I do know that that is an abnormal sign that requires attention. Number two, hot flashes. About 75% of perimenopausal people experience hot flashes. They are immensely uncomfortable and disturbing to so many people related to hot flashes, night sweats, that's when you have hot flashes at night, and that often is part of number four sleep disturbances.
[00:15:08] Now sleep disturbances don't just have to be night sweats. The insomnia is pretty frequent for a lot of people in midlife that can be having a harder time falling asleep or staying asleep or just not getting quality sleep or waking up too early. Number five, mood changes and irritability. Y'all, you are not crazy.
[00:15:33] And I would love to eliminate the shame spiral around emotional liability in general, but especially in midlife. Our hormones are surging. Our culture is judging us, ignoring us. Our brains are completely restructuring. We are going through some stuff. We know that adolescents are gonna get moody and we accept that and try to support them through that process.
[00:16:04] Let's do the same for ourselves. Number six, vaginal dryness, which often goes hand in hand with number seven, decreased libido. But I will say for some people, para menopause. There is also number eight, increased libido, and often it can vary greatly because of hormone surges and dips. So you may have. A time where you have a very high libido and a period of time when you have a very low libido, all part of the process.
[00:16:40] Number nine, difficulty concentrating. 60% of people impair menopause report having. Enough trouble concentrating that it has an effect on their work. And although this number is scary, I want you to know that for most people, this, like so many other side effects of this massive restructuring does get better after menopause.
[00:17:06] Number 10, memory lapses and brain fog again, it does get better after menopause for most folks. Number 11, bone loss or osteoporosis. That does not get better after menopause, but there are medical interventions to help with this. We'll talk about that another time. Number 12, skin changes. Some people get a resurgence of acne impair menopause, which feels like a double whammy.
[00:17:37] When you compare that with the loss of collagen and elastin, that makes our skin more supple and luminous, it happens. Number 13, weight gain. Number 14, bloating. Number 15, breast soreness. Especially for people who have breast soreness as a symptom of P M s, they're more likely to experience it impair menopause as well.
[00:18:02] Number 16, itchiness in specific areas like the face or the neck or genitals. I'm really itchy right now. I can't tell if it's one of those things. I don't know if any of you had lice as a kid, but now if I even think about. Lice. It makes my head itch. And that's what this, that's what talking about this particular side effect does to me.
[00:18:27] It's making my neck itch like crazy. Number 17, tingling or crawling sensations in your extremities. Some people also experience this in their arms, and it can feel like something is crawling under your skin. Pretty weird. It's called paraesthesia. Number 18, dental problems. Oh gosh. You know what? I still have a baby tooth.
[00:18:53] It was meant to last for about eight years, maybe. It bodes well for the rest of me, but it's still in there. It's gonna come out at some point, and I'm like, oh man. Para menopause is gonna be the time. It's gonna be the time that that thing comes out. I'll keep you posted. Number 19, joint pain number 20, muscle tension and aches.
[00:19:15] Number 21, burning mouth syndrome. Like you've taken a sip of McDonald's coffee when it's still scalding hot, but you haven't. Number 22 Electric shock Sensations. Uh, they say that's like having a rubber band snapped across your arm and these sensations, the burning mouth syndrome and the electric shock sensations are probably neurological and often fly under the radar.
[00:19:44] People don't talk about them. Number 23. Thinning hair. Number 24, brittle nails, number 25, digestive changes, which can include constipation, loose stools, more gas, more indigestion. You know, I think a lot of us actually have digestive discomfort throughout our adult lives that we never discuss. Well, let's start now.
[00:20:12] Let's not be uncomfortable anymore than we have to be. How about that 26 irregular heartbeat. Sometimes that can also come with dizziness. Number 27, headaches and Migraines. I have such a distinct childhood memory of my grandmother, Mimi, who has been referenced in many episodes of Pause to Go of her getting migraines.
[00:20:39] She was definitely in para menopause at that time and she had terrible migraines, and she would go to bed for a couple of days and I will say this. They got better. She got better. She had a long, wonderful life and was not plagued by migraines for all of it. Number 28, new allergies. Isn't that fun? Number 29.
[00:21:05] Loss of bladder control or incontinence affects the majority of people with vaginas. 30 a change in body odor. 31, fatigue or chronic exhaustion, 32 depression, 33, anxiety or panic disorder. I mean, after hearing all of these potential side effects, that totally makes sense to me. And then y'all, I found it cold flashes.
[00:21:40] So I'm not alone. So why do I share all of these? Well, because these are the things that people are writing about and finally researching. And we usually hear about weight gain, dry badges, hot flashes, and irritability. But if you are experiencing the other side effects, you are not alone. And there are so many things we can do to mitigate or alleviate some of these discomforts.
[00:22:10] I also really wanna say this. It's not all bad. It sounds so bad. I'm feeling guilty bringing up all of these side effects in this one episode. Let me start with the worst stuff, but I can also say that midlife is great for me so far. I cry at pretty much anything, but I'm also finding fresh ways of relating to the world and to myself, new ways that are wonderful for my career, for my friendships, for my family, and for me.
[00:22:45] Also, the majority of people that I have talked to who have gone through this. Say something to the effect of, there were some hard times in there, but it gets better, so let's pause to go and make the most of our midlife adventures. Oh, also, if you know anyone who is going through the change or is struggling with midlife or maybe.
[00:23:17] Isn't struggling and you feel like these episodes or this podcast would be good to share with them. Please do. This is all about connecting with folks, and the best way to do that is to share our stories. Here's my call to action for this episode. That's what they call it when I'm trying to get you. To do something, I want you to do something, and that is to share your story.
[00:23:43] So if you would like to share an experience of your midlife, delights, agony, or just plain humor, you can leave me a voice memo on my new website, pause to Go podcast.com. There's a tab on the right side of the website that says something like, leave me a voice memo, and you can. You can just record a voice memo for me right there, and I'll get it.
[00:24:06] And if you feel comfortable having me share your voice on the pod, then I can share that with everyone. It's so nice to hear other people's voices, but if you don't feel comfortable having me share your voice, I can just anonymously share your story. It'll be great to have your stories on the Pause To Go podcast.
[00:24:30] All right. Stay curious y'all. Thank you for listening to the Pause to Go podcast. Special thanks to code-based co-working and W T J U Radio for their support. This has been an awkward sage production.
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