The Truth About Becoming Your Biggest, Fullest, Brightest Self

This transcript was generated using AI technology and has not been edited for accuracy.

Matthew Reynolds on Pause to Go

Bree Luck: [00:00:00] I am so excited to introduce you to my friend Matthew Reynolds. He is someone I have been hoping to have on the podcast for a long time. And now he has a book out, so it's the perfect time to bring him on. Matthew and I met years ago when I was working for a theater company, and he came in as a guest artist and also as a facilitator to lead a workshop for our staff and board on crafting our equity lens.

And the workshop helped us examine not only our personal biases and the impact of conditioning on our personal choices, but also to look at how that played out on the structural level at our organization. It was a super powerful workshop, and it was one of [00:01:00] those workshops that I left and I felt moved, but over the years I realized the exponential impact that that work has had on my life, and truly it has.

Set me off on a different trajectory, on a personal level and on a professional level. , and for better or for worse, that's thanks to Matthew. I think it's better, by the way. Just wanna be clear.

In fact, I know it. Matthew's new book, Biggest Fullest Brightest, Shifting The Consciousness of Humanity is part memoir The Story of His Life, which is a really compelling story and part very practical workbook looking at how we are conditioned and where are our thoughts, not our thoughts. I love it so much actually, that I'm gonna give it away , so I have two copies of it. One is still wrapped in cellophane, the other is [00:02:00] dogeared, written in, marked up, highlighted all of the things.

and I'm giving away the nice clean copy. By the way, just so you know, you're not getting my used copy. You're getting a nice clean copy. So here's what I'm gonna give it to you. Anyone who leaves a positive review, I'm just gonna name that. I want it to be a positive review. If you have a negative review, that's fine too.

Um, email me, , email me with your negative review. I will. Anything, uh, anyone who leaves a review on Apple Podcasts and or Spotify, I will enter into a drawing for this book And here's the thing. I can't tell who you are when you leave a review. So if you can take a screenshot of your.

Review or you know, if you're doing it on your computer, you can take a picture with your phone and DM it to me at Instagram or Facebook or send it to me in an [00:03:00] email. My email is in the show notes. I will reply to your DM or email. It will be so happy to hear from you. And also I will, um, enter you into a drawing for the book

 In this conversation, we explore some of the content that he talks about in the book, but also there's a little bonus content too. So I think you'll really enjoy that. . And now here is Matthew Reynolds, author of Biggest, fullest, Brightest, Shifting the Consciousness of Humanity.

so Matthew you are, are you in Hawaii? are you back in Hawaii? 

Matthew Reynolds: I am back in Hawaii. I'm back home. I've been here since the 11th, and I'm here until the 20th of September. And then I'm off to Vancouver, BC, where I'll be officiating a wedding. and I'm hoping right now I'm trying to set [00:04:00] up there is.

Friend on Facebook. I've only ever known them there. I've never spoken live like this with them. and I can't remember. I think we might've joined a similar kind, like,group that was looking at like animal medicine cards and shaman work, et cetera, et cetera. And we kind of became friends from there and Facebook friends, but she works at, a women's correctional facility and she brought my book in there

and there's a trans woman there who really identified with the book and has been working through it and came to my friend and said, I think he would be great to come in and speak. To us as a guest speaker. And so I'm partway there of, combining in my trip to go officiate the wedding to drive two and a half hours to this correctional facility and talk with, the women there, about my book and those who've read it and then go back [00:05:00] for rehearsals, make it back in time for rehearsal dinner that, that evening.

But yeah, so that's my next 

Bree Luck: trip. intense. Well, you travel often, and every time you do it is packed full. I have never known you to have a, not packed full adventure. but the book that you're speaking about is your new book, biggest fullest, brightest, and Matthew. I tore through the book this week and have read all of it and about halfway through the exercises in it.

I love how it is such a, a deeply intimate memoir and workbook, and it feels so. Beautifully you as I feel you. I, I don't know if it's you, how am I to know? But it feels so much like my experience of you. So I want to thank you for, for [00:06:00] writing such a useful workbook. That is also such a beautiful invitation.

to learn from your journey. 

Matthew Reynolds: Thank you. Thank you for that. It's wonderful to hear from someone,the book has gone out and I was a. bombasted with folks sending photos that they got the book and that they received it. and then I hadn't heard anything except for this friend of mine in Vancouver.

And then recently earlier this week, I talked with my, my publisher, and unbeknownst to me, she's gotten all these testimonials about what the books meant to them. But no one's gotten come directly back to me. about how the book has been affecting them or, or what it's been doing for them.

except for now you as well from my friend, Kathleen and Vancouver. So thank you for saying that. It really, it really means a lot to me. It's, it, it's a bit nervewracking [00:07:00] putting that much, of myself out there, even though I do. On the daily. When I talk with people, trying to live my truth and be authentic, to the person who is who I was born to be, and letting that person live in this existence.

Matthew Reynolds: And so, yeah, I'm just really appreciative to hear those words today. So thank you for that, Bri. 

Bree Luck: Absolutely. I am. Really struck by the complete act of courage that it takes for anyone to put their story and their way of life into the world with such strong vulnerability and to not hear back for a while is such an act of faith.

Like you how did you do that? How , how are you still smiling at me today? when with, with that unknown. 

Matthew Reynolds: I think the biggest, the biggest thing is that I've been [00:08:00] busy. right. yeah. You, you were just saying that it, I, I fill my days, I fill it up and I live life, you know, as I say, in the book, the past is our education

so for a while there in my journey, I, I wasn't,Looking at the past, as my education, it was definitely a source of, of caging me in, causing huge bouts of, of anger and depression and, and introspection, Of negative self talk of shame and guilt of saying, of course these things are happening in my life right now, because look at what happened in my past and not really allowing myself to learn and grow from that past.

And so, I think to this day, that's part of it, I'm not saying that days didn't go by that. I didn't think, oh no, one's responded about my book. No one said anything to me. I'm not saying that [00:09:00] that hasn't happened. But it doesn't have this hold over me. Like I didn't sit and dwell on it all day long.

 It's not the reason why some days I choose to stay in bed and pull the covers up and, and not get out of bed. You know, those days are, are fewer and farther between, but when they happen, I recognize and give myself grace and really talk myself into this place of. I deserve to stay in bed and to rest, I deserve to be introspective about some of the things that are happening.

I deserve to look at how that is part of my authenticity in the authentic self that I'm putting out there. And so, like I said, if I'm living that, that's my day to day, then I don't have these larger bouts of shadow. As I call it, holding me underneath the covers and me not being able to befriend shadow and say, I, I, I get what I'm supposed to be learning from you.

Thank you for that. And to be able [00:10:00] to continue on through my day, 

Bree Luck: You write about that in the book you write about that decision or pathway of really letting your emotions come and experiencing them without shame, just experiencing them in their fullness and taking shame out of the equation. 

And I know it's an ongoing process. I would imagine that yeah. Shame is a, is an insidious little, little element that does creep creep in. It does like always like right there, ready to, to find the weak spot. But I've known you now for several years. And one of the things that I can say about you that, that in inspires me consistently is how fully [00:11:00] and beautifully and without judgment, which I think is the counter to shame, right.

Is judgment. Yes. How about judgment you approach? The world and other people. So how, how long has that journey been for you to come to that place? 

Matthew Reynolds: Well, let's see. On the fourth of this month, I turned 53 years old. congratulations. As you alluded to thank you. that journey has been ongoing and I, I speak in the book of checkpoint.

Places within my life that now that I am looking at the past as my education, where I can see certain things got uprooted and I was able to see more clearly, aspects of myself or aspects of the world around me and how it wanted me to be, and not necessarily how I wanted to be in the world and how I wanted to live my life.

And also the people along that journey. [00:12:00] And one of the biggest shifts, which I met. Towards the end of my time in the classroom was becoming an educator and going through the master's program, at Southern Oregon university and then choosing to stay in Southern Oregon, where I was fortunate to be asked to, work at the school, help build a school, cuz they were shifting from a large comprehensive high school to four smaller schools.

And so I. craft the way that, that, that school was going to run, and really looking at my philosophy of education. And that's when my past really started to clip through my life and really started to come up. Cuz I was listening to what my professors were asking of us as educators and there, it was a lot about self-reflection.

It was a lot looking at those ideas to make sure. For me in the way that I took it, that I'm not projecting that onto my students. That mm-hmm, when I have all these mirrors in front of me and they might be triggering my past [00:13:00] that I have an understanding of my past that I know not to inflict upon them, the traumas that some of my past inflicted upon me and not impress upon them and say that they have to think like me be like me and have this unconditional belong.

in my room, you know, I wanted to just have that idea of unconditional belonging there. I didn't want you can belong in my classroom. if you're always on time. If you always turn in your homework, if you have grades that are BS and above, if you have cuz those are all conditions I may be open-hearted I may be accepting of, of diverse ideas and ideologies and sexual orientations and ethnicities, but I still have these, these criteria.

That you can only belong if you're a good student or if you're this or that. I wanted that to be unconditional and I wanted it to come from a place of unconditional love. And so. [00:14:00] Really looking at that. Those are some of the key factors that really kind of accelerated me looking at some of the things that you find in the book, that I'm trying to pass along to folks tools that people can then fit in their grip and use the tool for their lived experience.

And not necessarily just mine. And I got a lot of that from Brene Brown's work. I've read all, everything that she's put out. I've read. I've read some of it, you know, multiple times I remember in her, the gifts of imperfection, I bought a classroom set and with my advanced and senior drama students, we would read through that, and as part of the curriculum every other year, I also took chapter.

Four or five, which talks about the ideas of fitting in and belonging. And what does that really mean? and students ate that up because they're cognitively at that point where a lot of the outside world and their friends are telling them [00:15:00] how they should be. And they're not really getting to that source of well, how do I really feel about this?

Yes. I love my parents. , I don't get along with them, or I love this friend or these ideas, or I enjoy, you know, this teacher's class or whatever. And instead of just like, co-opting those folks ways of being, and putting it on themselves to really look at what is attractive about that, or what's not attractive about that and all the things in between, and really coming up with how they are in the world.

And to know that that's not. An end factor, right? Name of the book, biggest fullest, brightest. How do we expand as we go, not just grow in the sense of. Bottom up, but expand out in all directions and truly, really allow ourselves to be fulfilled and live our biggest fullest and brightest life. So it's been, it's been an ongoing journey and it continues to be an ongoing journey.

but there definitely have been these places where now, when I look at the [00:16:00] past as my education, I can see that there was a greater shift that occurred within me. That allowed me to really truly see. These tools as tools and not necessarily as shackles or yolks of shame to hold me down.

I adore you I do you. 

Matthew Reynolds: Thank you. 

Bree Luck: So in full disclosure, like this podcast is between 30 and 45 minutes long. And I think the last time Matthew and I got together, it was hours. Like we , we sat for hours talking until we were both late for our next meetings.

We just didn't care. It was too important to talk about these issues. So. Yes. I, I just, I love that you are sharing them. And what I really love about the book is that it allows people to, to sit with the thoughts for a while to sit with thoughts. Like how much of your thinking is your thinking? 

Matthew Reynolds: Oh,

Bree Luck: I mean, if we asked ourselves that every [00:17:00] day, it wouldn't be enough. It's such an important thought. It's such an important, lens for thought, right? Yes. And I know that you cover this in the book. Just while we have you here. . Can you explain a little bit about what you mean by how much of your thinking is your thinking?

Matthew Reynolds: Yes, yes, yes, yes. That has been the catalyst of the work that I offer right now. And that was one of the things, early on, when I spoke just now about realizing that the outside world was influencing the way that. Viewing myself and how I saw myself in the world. And I was letting that come in. I was letting that indoctrination come in.

That's when it was like, wow, Matthew, when you have these bouts of, of anger or depression and shame, how much of that is truly the way that you feel about yourself? Do you [00:18:00] really feel that way about. it's like how much of that. And then once, you know, seeing I've had some powerful therapists, I've had powerful shamans in my life that I've done work with and looked at things.

and one of the bigger turning points was, you know, my father and for the longest time, I just wanted him to say that he was proud of me. That's all I wanted. I just wanted to hear him say that he was proud of me and he couldn't do it. And it wasn't in his world. And so through my therapy and things, I got to that point to be able to say, to have forgiveness for him.

Matthew Reynolds: Right. but it wasn't grace yet at that point. Not until I really started to work through some of these ideas of how much of your thinking is your thinking and started going? Oh, that, isn't my thinking. Cognitively my brain wasn't developed yet, so I was absorbing my father's work, his personal work.

And [00:19:00] he didn't have the tools. He didn't go to a therapist. He didn't do these things. He wasn't self reflective in this way. He was survival and survival only. He was the second generation outta slavery. And so for me, that's when the grace started to happen. That's what it moved past forgiveness.

And then. To be able to give him grace. I started giving myself grace and saying, yeah, let's ask this question. And so when you say, there's not enough time in the day to ask that question, I ask myself that question multiple times throughout the day, especially if I have a response where I'm. Judging myself with somebody else's, success or somebody else's, work.

When I am feeling myself, get a little bit of that anger. When I see someone who is being hurtful and harmful to others or dehumanizing others. Right. And let that anger have its place. But then also. Do I really want to dehumanize them back. Do I want to use the same tactics and tools [00:20:00] that they are and treat them in the way that they're doing?

 My answer to that and where I'm at on my journey is no I don't, but I wouldn't have been able to get there. If I didn't ask myself first, how much of my thinking is my thinking, how much of this response that I'm having right now is my authentic self. or how much of it is shadow? How much of it is the person that was indoctrinated and internalized all these racial oppressions, internalized superiority, internalized capitalism, internalized all these other factors that now caused me to respond in a particular way to others.

And what also helps me and help helps guide what I do is, like I said, that question led to me, creating a workshop called crafting your equity lens. So it's an opportunity for people to take a three day course that helps them look, be introspective, and build and craft their own personal equity lens built from their lived experiences.[00:21:00]

So then every day I read my equity lens. I started it at the start of the day today. And then I read it again before I got on this call with you. and it really helps me to now filter through. and as you said, I have a lens that I can look through that is more authentically me and not necessarily this construct of me.

And so that's where, how much of your thinking and, and where that comes from for me, what that, that question means and how it was. It came into my life and still is a large part of my life. 

Bree Luck: And it's also ever evolving. Oh yes. You know, I think, I think, and that's something as we do the work and then keep doing the work , to craft our equity lands.

If we're lucky enough to work with you to do deep, personal. It though, even some, even an authentic thought that we have two years ago, isn't necessarily an [00:22:00] authentic thought. Now that was who I was then. And we've evolved I also love this image of this spiral, right. That we are at a different point on the spiral.

 now than we were two years ago. So we need to tweak it a little bit. It's never done. The work is never done. Thank goodness. Yes. Yes, because it sure makes it interesting to keep doing it. And. It's a beautiful, beautiful thing. Well, 

Matthew Reynolds: When I say work with the capital w I feel that we have been,indoctrinated and, and told that that work is just too hard.

Oh my gosh. It's so hard. That is just so hard. But then what I've done, what, and I see individuals do. Now I've built a wall up against the joy that is on the other side of doing that work. And what, what I wanna do is I wanna be able to talk about that joy as well. That [00:23:00] those moments of, of, oh, I did that work and that sense of accomplishment.

And now look at these, these folks that I have in my life, this job that I have now, this, this, this offering. My purpose that I'm giving to the rest of the world and look at how I'm, I'm supporting others and being supported back because of that truth and being able to live that authenticity. And it's a place that I feel we've never gotten to.

And a lot of folks, sometimes are like, oh, you're talking about a utopian. It's like, no, I'm not talking about a utopia. We're not happy and joy. All the time we are happy and joyous because we are experiencing all the various emotions that make us human. And we're not listening to a society that says you're not supposed to do this or do that.

And oh, if you do do it in, in private and don't do it out in public. And so we're constantly dehumanizing ourselves to a public space and it's like, I should be able to [00:24:00] bring all of me authentically and truthfully everywhere that I. There shouldn't be any code switching or anything like that as I, I move out into the world.

And so I wanna, I wanna make sure that even though we're using the word work and saying work, that we are really, highlighting that, that accomplishment and that joy that comes from doing this work, and that, yes. There's another way of saying lifelong learner, maybe that we mm-hmm our brains need to be fed just like our stomachs and we need to constantly be learning.

And we are, if we let ourselves, instead of ducking and weaving, did I say something wrong? Did I dress incorrectly? Is my hair looking a particular way? And all those thoughts shifting through, instead of just being present and opening our eyes and connecting with one another through them.

Bree Luck: I think of even the concept of joy, you talked about the concept of work, but even the concept of joy. Is different for each of us. Yeah. What [00:25:00] I find joyful, how I experience that in my body is different from how you experience joy. And so seeking joy, isn't sort of the Instagram version of joy, right? It's like, how much of your thinking is your thinking is your, is what your really authentic joy is really yours.

Are you really seeking the joy that is your joy to have? And I would even say that the work not only is joy, a part of the worker, can it be? And I do love how you bring it into the work and I'm gonna get to that in just a minute because you actually get into it physically.

And I think that's such a beautiful way to joy. Anyway, they are intertwined. Joy is work. Work is joy. They are the same thing if we are really getting honest with ourselves and that does bring me to. [00:26:00] Throughout this book, there are a lot of cognitive approaches to the work.

There's a lot of writing, which I would say is both cognitive and physical, That it's both. Mm-hmm. mm-hmm . But you also at various points, especially in some kind of heavy points, then you're like, stop get in your body, get into starfish position. yes. Yeah. And I wanna thank you for that, cuz I think we get so in our heads that we forget our bodies and they're not separate.

Matthew Reynolds: No,

thank you for bringing that up and for shining a light on that. It's also important as well. I feel that I did not put in there enough that our physical bodies are. All over the place and in different places, our mobility, our locomotion is different for each person. And I, I wanna make sure that I'm expressing in the book that [00:27:00] it's for your body and where your body is at.

the reason that I put a lot of that in there. Is because that's been a huge part of my journey prior to learning about somatic healing, learning about genetics, learning about what is already there as a theater practitioner yourself. Along with myself, there was so much work, to characterize, to build these characters in their physicality and how they carry themselves in the world and how they move through the world.

Matthew Reynolds: And there's and her name went right outta my head. There there's a woman. I watched her Ted talk and she's talking about kind of standing in a power stance before you go into a job interview. And I'm, all of her language just went outta my head, but she speaks standing in a position not only that'ss grounded, but feels powerful to you.

That feels rooted that you feel that you have this strength about you, that you [00:28:00] are. Coming from a place of authenticity and that you're true to form and who you're gonna be. And that really struck me as. All the moments that I've done that in my life where it's like, oh, I'm, I'm biting a nail, or I'm doing this.

Let's put feet on the ground, palms on thighs. Let's sit up, let's reach out into the universe with the top of the head. Let's fill the pelvis heavy down into the earth and feel that molten lava coming up through that and going into a golden, you know, it's like all these things that I've taken in from various.

theater teachers and professors and others who are directors that were running things. And just like how real that is in my everyday life. And I wanted to share that as much as I could with other people, because I feel that we do leave our physical body out, cuz there's so much out there with body image so much out there and it's like, wait, authentically, this is where I'm.

Matthew Reynolds: I got a little more here, a little more [00:29:00] there, you know, kind of thing, and a little less here and, and that's all right, cuz my heart feels strong. Feels like it's doing what it's supposed to do and I'm moving through the world. So putting that as part of this book. Expanding into our biggest fullest and brightest is a way I believe to help folks find the joy that we were just talking about.

And then it's different. I'm not here to tell you what those things are. I think that was a great point that you brought up Bree that,all of us have. All of this that I talk about, it's for you to find out what these things mean for you. I don't want you to have the same thing as me. It may be similar.

It may be whatever. I can say a word to a group of a thousand people, and they may eventually land on the same definition, but their experience to get to that definition or understanding of it is completely different. And to be able to celebrate that acknowledge that, let that not be a source of shame and to move forward, I think is really important.

And. [00:30:00] Because of the shame that we've put on the human body on physical it's like, it's really, it was really important for me to have that aspect in the book. So thank you for acknowledging it. 

Bree Luck: Well, thank you for doing it. And thank you even for taking us through that small exercise right there. I felt more grounded immediately.

I had both feet on the ground and felt my heavy pelvis and felt my chest lift. And it was. Really nice. Thank you for, thank you for that. You are welcome. I also was really struck by your discussion about cancel culture, particularly as it relates to perfectionism. Do you feel comfortable talking about that a little bit,

Matthew Reynolds: yes, for sure. and of course, as we've been talking and, and no, when I wrote the book, there was something , that was very fresh. And now I'm at a place [00:31:00] where I can look back at that passes my education and really. Add some more to what I put in the book. at that point I feel 

Bree Luck: that bonus content right here, 

Matthew Reynolds: right on.

I feel that supremacy culture,co-ops a lot of what, is said by its counter. And so it'll co-op and weaponize some of the verbiage woke wokeness, cancel culture, et cetera, et cetera. critical race theory. . And so what happened with cancel culture is it was used as this. Well, see you, you say that you're all open and loving and caring for everybody, but you're canceling people and you're getting 'em fired from jobs and you're having them lose money and they've got families to take care of.

And B, B, B, B. And so I spent some time looking at the binary of that, right. Of the, the good and the bad, the right and the wrong, the black and the white, and then [00:32:00] put my expanding into your biggest fullest and brightest on it. And what I came to is I'm not here to dehumanize anybody else if I don't, if I choose to not frequent this store anymore because of some of their policies and what they've done.

I don't frequent their store. Do I need to talk trash about them and, and say horrible things about them? No. Do I want to share with other people, the reason why I'm not going to the store? Yeah, I definitely will. And I can do that with individuals and people as well. And in the same breath, I'm gonna invite them.

oh, I heard you saying these things or this and that, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'll be like, yes. And so having that conversation, being able to, still see people's humanity, I think is a really strong point.

And JK rowing is this huge person of that. Right? A lot of the [00:33:00] folks who are. Are in that nerd, dumb of the Harry Potter world are like, you know, that's her stuff. I still, this brought, this actually goes against a lot of what she's saying, what she's written and how my lived experience has brought these characters to life and how I love and care for these characters.

is nothing like how she is in real life and I'm not gonna let her take that away from me. So I'm not gonna cancel and not go to these things or not share these things with, with my children kind of stuff. but I'm definitely gonna let them know how I feel about this and call them in and hope that they get the education so that they can start seeing other people's humanity as well.

Matthew Reynolds: With me when it comes to cancel culture, I wanna be treated the way that I'm hoping I'm treating other people. I want somebody to say to not just all of a sudden, I'm not there anymore. And it's kind of like on social media, when the [00:34:00] great block happened when, a lot of folks started blocking other people or unfriending other people and so on and so forth and things like that.

there was a lot of divide and conquer from white supremacy toolbox in there. and divisiveness and division that was occurring. And sometimes for me, it, it was kind of in the middle of me figuring these things out and before canceled culture really hit and it was like, no, I'm gonna text this person or I'm gonna message this person.

Matthew Reynolds: Here's my phone number. Here's messenger kind of thing. But you are causing harm to people who, other people who I hold dearly, because your name calling you are, are saying things that are abusive, et cetera, et cetera. And that's why I'm unfriending you.

That's why I'm blocking you from here, but I still have this connection with you. And so we can. if you so choose to and want to, we can talk, but if you're you start dehumanizing other [00:35:00] people or start causing me harm through the language that you're choosing, because you know, it's co it's gonna cause me harm, then I'm done.

And that's, that's my right. Do I love you still? Yeah. Do I like you? Or like some of the things that you're saying? No, I don't. And these are the reasons. and that's, to me, that's cancel culture and that's it's evolution. 

Bree Luck: That's in its evolution. That's the way you, I would say that's a strong boundary culture there.

Matthew Reynolds: Yes. 

Bree Luck: Yes. And I have experienced it firsthand where you and I were in a situation where you could have easily canceled me. And you didn't, you, you called me in and you wanted to hear why I was making some choices that I was making and, really held space with integrity.

And that's something you don't forget. Just knowing that you model [00:36:00] that. I mean, I know , how you do that and it's inspired me and how I interact with people when there is conflict or competition, or cuz often when we are in competition with other people, we other them and we make them the bad guy and, then we look for reasons to cancel, right? We look for small mistakes or small things that are like, oh, done. You're done. I'm done with you. And oh man, it takes such fortitude and courage to do that, that to say, no, I'm gonna make room. this relationship and situation is important enough to me that I'm going to reach out, even if it's awkward, especially if it's awkward, 

and have the awkward conversation that needs to be had. So we can both grow from this and that. Oh, make me tear up. it, it [00:37:00] not only.

It not only allows us to learn more, but it allows us to love more. And for that to expand, and that is biggest fullest brightest, right? 

Matthew Reynolds: Yes. Yes. Yes. 

Bree Luck: So, so Matthew, how can people get in touch with you? How can they take your workshops? How I know they can buy the book, tell us all the things . 

Matthew Reynolds: I have a website.

and thank you so much for that Brie. and there is so much in what you shared just now of everything that we've been talking about. And I hope that you recognize that, and I hope that those things help you to expand into your biggest fullest and brightest. as I see you doing on the daily, you can get a hold of me, through my website, which is R R consulting.org.

and through there, you'll find all my social media links and places. [00:38:00] The biggest thing is if you sign up on my email list, I do a gentle reminder every Monday, to kind of start our our week. And I say hour because a lot of times people may respond to that and they're like, oh my gosh, I needed to hear this and so on and so forth, or they'll respond to something I post, on social media and it's because I needed to hear it, to be honest, it's a, it's a little bit selfish, cuz it's like, I put this out there because this is what I needed to hear today and I'm just kind of sharing it.

Matthew Reynolds: So. It always means a lot to hear from folks when it it's meant something to them as well, but those gentle reminders go out. And also what goes out through there is when our next open groups are. So what we've been doing is quarterly. So every. Four months or so we do an open group. That's open to any individual who wishes to craft their equity lens.

Right now. I've been doing them over the weekend. So Friday night and a Saturday and a Sunday, three hours each day for the [00:39:00] workshop, that you can sign up there. We also have what's called let the healing begin with this, which is a self-paced module, which is actually those self-paced modules are part of.

the crafting the equity lens workshop, it's kind of a, a front loading email. It's kind of a prequel to get people ready for the workshop, but you can do it as a self-paced module. And let's say you do it now. And you know, there's a, a price on that. You then get that price off of when you finally are like, I'm ready to.

Matthew Reynolds: Craft my equity lens and that could be months later, a year later kind of thing. So that's there. The book is there as well in the store. There's also testimonials, there's a couple of webinars. the very first webinar about my work and then a more recent one about how it's evolved and shifted. and from there we're putting together.

Another offering that's called community of service, which you can find on my Patreon page. so I have a Patreon as well. where on [00:40:00] that. if you've crafted your equity lens, there's three tiers. and on that third tier, if you've crafted it, it's called community of practice. And I have to thank you Bri, for this because in working with you on my Ted talk and how we found those three points, those actionable steps that are in there, I've.

Written curriculum for those three areas and that's my community of practice. And so I had my first session last night with the folks that are on that third tier, my Patreon, making friends with your shadow and it was hugely moving and inspirational for all of us involved. It was. it was really powerful.

and yeah, I'm smiling so big, but it wasn't a whole bunch of smiles last night, making friends sure. Shadow and, and even getting to the point where, you know, one of the practitioners was like, You know, I'm not sure I wanna make friends with it. , you [00:41:00] know, you call it making friends with your shadow, but I'm not sure if I want it to be my friend.

Matthew Reynolds: And I'm like, and that's more than fair, but that started this, another conversation that just. unfolded so much more. And after crafting, you know, this is a group of people that have all crafted their equity lens. So part of the curriculum pulls that in pulls their equity, their current equity lens in and helps guide us through that journey of, of looking at friendship with the shadow.

So thank you so much. 

Bree Luck: Oh, that makes me so happy. I am just, I'm really moved by that. And also I'll be thinking about what it means to be friends with your shadow and what other kinds of relationships you can develop with your shadow best if friendship is not available to you. Yes. Right? Like what can you do?

I also feel like this book is so important. And useful that for any of my clients who are signing up for [00:42:00] full packages with me for full one-to-one packages with me in the next year, I'm gonna give them a copy of this book. So I'm committing to that and, and really, really think it's a beautiful, beautiful tool.

So thank you. And thank you for just being the extraordinary. You that 

Matthew Reynolds: you are. Thank you, Bri. Thank you so much. It's wonderful to be a part of this expansion that you're going through. it's means a lot to me to be here. So thank you for having me. 

Here are my key takeaways from this conversation with Matthew Reynolds. It is worth it to relentlessly ask yourself how much of my thinking is my thinking. Because that is one of the first steps of understanding our biases. Or as I like to put it the first step in our lovely unbecoming. 

Number two. Take a moment to reflect where are there opportunities for you to remove the conditions that you place on your love? On how you create a culture [00:43:00] of acceptance and belonging. 

Number three. When we are confronted with inequity , how can we find power in a response that is rooted in our desire for treatment? How can we respond lovingly? With a capital L. And also buy Matthew's book, biggest fullest brightest, and check out his array of fabulous online workshops, whether it's for you or for your company, crafting your equity lens allows us to expand in the most loving and powerful of ways. 

And the link is in the show notes.