Can we really own time?

This transcript was generated by AI technology and has not been edited for accuracy.

[00:00:00] It's Monday, October 24th, and I wanna tell you about not one, but two new programs that I have coming up in the next couple of weeks. The first is a free podcasting from Scratch workshop and a tour of the code based podcasting room. This will be this Wednesday, October 26th at noon at the Extraordinary Code Building in Charlottesville, Virginia.

[00:00:31] Y'all know, that's why I record my episodes. So if you're curious about starting your own podcast, it's a super easy and free way to see how to do it, or at least how I do it, . And we'll talk about how even the Scrappiest podcast can really help your business. , and we will cover as much as we possibly can in 90 minutes from choosing a topic to finding an audience. Preregistration will be [00:01:00] required cuz there are just limited spaces available. So take a look at the show notes for the link. And also I'm just gonna break all the marketing rules today and tell you about a second opportunity.

[00:01:12] This one will be online. So all of my folks in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, in Sacramento, California, and even the one lovely person who listens every single week from Saraland in Germany, this is for you. We all have such good intentions for starting a new year on the right foot with clear goals for making the very, very most of our time.

[00:01:43] But you know, once we get to the holidays, things get hectic and I don't know if you're like me, we start the new year scrambling to get ourselves organized. So this November before the onslaught of holidays, I'm offering a five day [00:02:00] life mapping challenge. So that's five days to get yourself in order and jumpstart a fabulous career.

[00:02:09] it's a Zoom workshop. It starts November 10th and runs over the next week. It's at 7:00 PM Eastern, and all of the classes are recorded, so if you can't make it live, that's okay. You can catch up and there are worksheets. There's all sorts of stuff. You can take it from anywhere, and you'll not only have the chance to set clear goals for next year, but you'll also map out a workable plan to get.

[00:02:36] I have been doing the exercise as I create them, and they are built on the same principles that Apple use to make the iPad by the way. And I am telling you this is gonna be gold.

[00:02:48] So check the show notes for more information to sign up for either the podcasting work. Or the life mapping challenge this week, or both. I mean, I love spending time with you. If [00:03:00] you sign up for the life mapping challenge this week, there's an early bird special and it's 47 bucks, and that's down from $129.

[00:03:09] So sign up before November 2nd. Listen, you can check the show notes for the podcasting workshop and for the life mapping challenge, and you can also find them on my Instagram at the lovely I'm becoming, and on my Facebook page at the Pause To Go Podcast. Hey, together we are gonna maximize your moments in the year.

[00:03:35] Speaking of maximizing moments. Here's my segue into today's topic today I found myself with two free hours that were completely unexpected I live out in the country and I was stuck in town, so I ventured over to my favorite cafe.

[00:03:54] Sat down at the table and really started thinking about the preciousness [00:04:00] of two found hours, and I keep thinking I really could have been annoyed by this. I generally like to have the illusion of control over my days, and on a different day I might have been irritated because with a little planning. I could have really made excellent and productive use of my time,

[00:04:22] my time. I love that I say it as if it's something that I might own, and in fact, just about any time management strategy that you see, you'll find, you'll hear things that lead you to believe that time, which we've already established as a construct, is something tangible that you can wrestle into ownership.

[00:04:49] You know, they say that time is money and that's so we can conceive the value of it. actually Benjamin Franklin was the first one to [00:05:00] coin that. He also coined the phrase lost time is never found again. , quite the optimist about time, which makes me imagine him clinging white knuckle to his agenda so as not to lose a single moment, and that's what it feels like.

[00:05:20] That's what it feels like society wants from us want. They want us to be hyper efficient with every moment, to use our time to be the very most productive that we can be. To be ready to do work at a moment's notice all the time, to answer the email, to respond to the text message, to like the Facebook.

[00:05:46] Recently I came across Benjamin Franklin's agenda and I wanna tell you what it looks like cuz I don't know, it was a little surprising to me. 5:00 AM to 8:00 AM [00:06:00] He was an early riser. I guess. Rise and address Powerful goodness contrive day's business and take the resolution of the day, Prosecute the present study and breakfast. 8:00 AM to 12, work 12 to two. That's two hours y'all.

[00:06:21] Two hours read or overlook my accounts and dine two to six work and six to 10 put things in their places. Supper, music, diversion or conversation, examination of the day. And then at 10:00 PM he went to. So two things really strike me about this whole agenda. The first is Benjamin and Franklin clearly did not have to take care of any children.

[00:06:54] And this is something that always gets me when I see, um, the sort of the ideal [00:07:00] agendas as created by men is that they really don't take into consideration the absolute chaos of parenting children. They just don't, and it always pisses me off and I just have to address it because there is so much in time management philosophy that has no respect for parental duties.

[00:07:21] So anyway, for those of us who are parents, it just doesn't take that into account in any kind of meaningful way. But the second thing is Benjamin Franklin didn't freak and work a lot. I mean, he didn't work all the. He worked a solid eight hour day, but he took a two hour lunch and he was home for dinner every night.

[00:07:42] So, I mean, wouldn't that be quiet quitting? In today's culture, would we accuse Benjamin Franklin, one of the most famous time management heroes of all time of quiet, quitting. Uh, okay. I'm gonna move on to another quote about time, [00:08:00] and this one is from the great author and mindfulness teacher, Jack Cornfield.

[00:08:06] he says, The trouble is you think you have time. Oh my gosh. This resonates on so many levels. It means, of course, that we have this tendency to put things off that are most important to us, thinking that we'll do that someday. This week I've run into a few really wonderful friends, and we've done that typical, Oh, we should get together for dinner soon.

[00:08:31] Yeah, and normally there's no follow. Right, and, and it's not because we don't absolutely value sharing beautiful experiences with each other. It's because the relentless to-do lists get in the way. And then the need to escape from our reality by binging on Netflix, or in my case, wanting to achieve someone else's [00:09:00] idea of success by burying myself in work projects to the exclusion of the things that I care about.

[00:09:08] It all just sort of Trumps meaningful human connection and what's really most important. To me, at least it makes me think of that story. Paul Coelho, the writer he wrote, um, The Alchemist super popular book, if you haven't read it, it's really charming and. Affirming Anyway, this story of the fishermen and the businessmen, probably exists in multiple cultures, and I'm gonna tell it to you here.

[00:09:41] I've also put the link to the actual story in the show notes. So here goes. One morning there was a businessman who's visiting a beach in a small. And as he looked out to the sea, he noticed the fisherman with a basket full of fish who is [00:10:00] bringing his boat in for the day. And the businessman asked the fishermen, Hey, how long does it take you to catch so many fish?

[00:10:08] And the fisherman's like, Oh, not very long, just a short while. And the businessman is intrigued. So he says, Hey, why don't you stay even longer at sea and catch even more fish? And the fisherman says, No, I have enough. I have enough for my whole family. It's enough for us to eat. I'm good. And then the businessman says, Well, what do you do with the rest of your time?

[00:10:31] And the fisherman says, Well, I wake up early in the morning and I go out to sea and I catch the fish for the day. And then I go back and I play with my kids. And in the afternoon I take a nap with my wife, and in the evening I spend some time with my friends and my neighbors and we drink wine and we play the guitar and we sing and we dance and we read.

[00:10:51] And then I spend a few moments with my wife gazing at the stars, and then we go to bed. So the businessman, you know, he is a pretty [00:11:00] savvy guy and he thinks he can really help this fisherman. So he says, Hey, let me help you. I've made millions of dollars in business and I can really help you to be more successful.

[00:11:12] So you stopped fishing now when you have enough for your family. But if you spent a little more time at sea and you caught more fish, You could make more. And when you saved enough money, you could even buy a bigger boat and catch even more fish. And soon you could afford a whole fleet of boats and you can set up your own company and then you could get really big and you could franchise that company and then you could move out of this pod village and moved to the big city.

[00:11:42] And then you can hire other people to run your company. And the fisherman's listening, you know, he's curious about this. And then he says, Well, what happens after that? And the businessman says, Well, after that you can live like a king in your own house. And when the time is right, you can sell your [00:12:00] companies and you'll be rich and you'll never have to worry for anything. 

[00:12:03] And the fisherman is like, Well, what about after that? And the businessman says, Well, after that you can retire and you can move to a house by the ocean and you can wake up in the morning and catch a few fish, and then return home to play with kids and have an afternoon nap. And then at night you can drink wine, you can play the guitar, or you could sing and dance and read and look at the stars every night.

[00:12:30] You get where I'm going with this, right? Because the fisherman nods and he says, Yeah, yeah, I think that's what I'm doing right now. Because the fisherman was already doing the things that were most important to him, and I think that often we put the things that we truly value the most last. Thinking that they will come to us in time if we work hard enough.[00:13:00]

[00:13:00] The trouble is you think you have time.

[00:13:05] This quote also makes me think of our illusion of control, of ownership, of how we quantify or codify value. Today I was having lunch with my kid and uh, there we go. I did it again, right? My kid, my kid, like she belongs to me, , but of course she doesn't belong to me. She belongs with me for now. And honestly, I can't even go into the next part of that conversation because she's a senior in high school and I am feeling it

[00:13:48] Anyway, over this precious lunch, we discussed the illusion of control and she said, and I [00:14:00] wanna give her full credit for this, Anna Brin. It seems like humans think they need to have control, but control is impossible. What they really want is agency, Oh, we think that we want control, but what we really want this agency, and I agree with her.

[00:14:28] This brings me back to time. The purpose of this series is to help us fundamentally change our relationship with time, so that time is not something we are trying to own, but also so that we are not owned by time that we find the space, the vision, and the wherewithal to take action from a place of agency.

[00:14:58] Because no matter [00:15:00] how we dice up our moments, the only thing that measures up is a life well lived. So this week, pause to. Where are you trying to own time? Where are you feeling the pressure of time and where are you finding the spaciousness and agency in the moment?

[00:15:27]