Perimenopause, the wild and unpredictable rollercoaster leading up to menopause, brings forth an array of changes that can make us laugh, cry, and scratch our heads in bewilderment. While not every person experiences the same side effects, it's essential to recognize the quirks and challenges that come with midlife mayhem. So buckle up and join us as we explore the most common and sometimes comical side effects of perimenopause. Laughter is the best medicine, after all! (As long as you’re laughing with us and not at us, we’re all good.)
Please note: I am not a medical expert; I'm just a curious and mouthy know-it-all. So please see a certified practitioner if you are experiencing physical, emotional, or cognitive issues that require professional attention. Blogs and Podcasts are great, but they are no replacement for professional care.
Here's why you came here -- 30 Common Side Effects of Midlife:
(You can also catch the full podcast episode HERE)
1. Irregular periods: It's like trying to predict the weather these days — some months are bone dry, and the next thing we know, there’s a deluge. There’s nothing linear or predictable about periods in perimenopause.
2. Hot flashes: Suddenly feeling like you're auditioning for a salsa dancing competition in the middle of winter -- Can someone please turn down the thermostat?
3. Sleep disturbances: Tossing, turning, and wrestling with your pillows, hoping to find the elusive slumber that seems to have taken a vacation without you.
4. Mood changes and irritability: The emotional rollercoaster ride where you laugh, cry, and snap at unsuspecting bystanders—all within a five-minute span. Strap in and hold on tight!
5. Vaginal dryness: When the Sahara Desert decides to relocate downstairs, leaving you wondering if your lady parts have joined a secret moisture-free club.
6. Decreased libido: Your desire for intimacy plummets, leaving you with more time to binge-watch your favorite TV shows. Netflix becomes your new best friend.
7. Increased Libido: You. Can’t. Get. Enough.
8. Difficulty concentrating: Your brain transforms into a squirrel on a RedBull. Focus? What's that again?
9. Memory lapses and brain fog: A fun game of "Where did I put my keys?" or "What was I just talking about?”… Wait, what is this list about?
10. Bone loss or osteoporosis: Yeah. Nothing funny about that. Sorry. It just stinks.
11. Skin changes: Welcome to the teenage acne club! Because apparently, experiencing pimples and wrinkles simultaneously is a fantastic cosmic joke.
12. Weight gain: The universe's way of saying, "Here's a few extra pounds to keep you company when your kids leave home”
13. Bloating: Hello, elastic waistbands! I love you!
14. Breast soreness: It’s either go for the side-hugs or time to invest in some extra cushioning.
15. Itchiness in specific areas: Suddenly feeling like you're wearing a wool sweater in the middle of summer, except it's your neck, face, or crotch.
16. Tingling or crawling sensations: When your arms or legs decide to host their very own creepy crawly party, making you question whether there's a bug invasion or just your hormones throwing a rave.
17. Dental problems: Your teeth join the rebellion, reminding you that oral hygiene is not to be taken lightly. Time to stock up on floss, toothpaste, and maybe invest in a backup set of dentures.
18. Thinning hair: Hair today, gone tomorrow!
19. Brittle nails: Your once unbreakable nails become as fragile as a Fabergé egg. Embrace the trend of short nails and save on manicure expenses!
20. Digestive changes: Your bowels decide to play a game of roulette, leaving you unsure whether you'll encounter constipation, loose stools, or an eruption of gassy surprises. Be prepared for anything!
21. Irregular heartbeat and dizziness: When your heart decides to cha-cha-cha to its own beat -- but occasionally misses a step.
22. Headaches and migraines: Your head becomes a percussion instrument, long after band practice ends
23. New allergies: Suddenly, your immune system decides to make friends with things you've never been allergic to before. Thanks, immune system, very helpful!
24. Loss of bladder control or incontinence: Sneezes, coughs, and laughs turn into moments of suspense, wondering whether your bladder will hold up or surprise you with an unexpected leak.
25. Change in body odor: Your natural scent decides to take a detour. Embrace it as your new signature fragrance!
26. Fatigue or chronic exhaustion: Naps become your lifeline, and caffeine your best friend. Cheers to survival!
27. Depression: Sometimes feeling like the star of a melodramatic soap opera. It's okay to shed a tear or two, as long as you remember that laughter and support are just around the corner.
28. Anxiety or panic disorder: When your worries decide to throw a party and invite all their friends, leading to moments of panic and racing thoughts. Remember, deep breaths…
29. Cold flashes: Just when you thought you were done with temperature-related surprises, your body decides to treat you to sudden chills that make you question if winter has arrived early. Time to cozy up with blankets and a warm cup of tea!
30. This to shall pass: This one isn’t a symptom — it’s just a reminder that these side effects won’t last forever and usually resolve after menopause. I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get older if it means getting off of this roller coaster!
Perimenopause may come with its fair share of side effects, but it's important to find humor in the midst of the chaos. Embrace the ups and downs, the quirks and surprises, and know that you're not alone on this crazy ride. Laugh, support each other, and remember that while the going may get tough, there are still plenty of joyful moments and new discoveries awaiting you on the other side. Cheers to perimenopause—a journey worth laughing through!
Check out the latest episode of Pause to Go to get more tips on making the most of midlife changes!
