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May 1, 2024
Releasing the Weight of Results
what if you released the big/daunting/ambiguous weight of expectations/ results?where might that precious energy be better resourced?and ironically, might that actually increase the likelihood or speed in which those damn results come?SHOW NOTES:1:1 ...
what if you released the big/daunting/ambiguous weight of expectations/ results?
where might that precious energy be better resourced?
and ironically, might that actually increase the likelihood or speed in which those damn results come?
SHOW NOTES:
1:1 BREAKTHROUGH VISION SESSION
Sacred Seeing Membership for Creatives
https://www.instagram.com/biancaleamorra/
Awkward Sage Media
Transcript
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What might happen? If you told yourself.
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That's.
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It's not going to happen.
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What if the thing.
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That you're striving for.
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Is not going to happen.
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Stay with me.
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I was reading this book.
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Talking about these writers and artists that never lived to see.
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They're quote unquote success or the impact of their work or, you know, fame or whatever.
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What have you.
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And there's just something so beautiful.
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That gave me so much warmth thinking about.
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Someone's spending their whole life doing whatever they were doing without those gratifications What if.
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Anything I create anything that I make, anything that I do is done.
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So under the.
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It sounds terrible, but under the assumption that it quote unquote, it is never going to happen.
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And why does that feel so good to me? If I release the striving.
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And this doesn't mean not try but it means.
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Lighter.
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It's like all the same, but later.
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With.
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Open palms, you know? I think, what would it look like? How would we experience our life right now? If.
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We weren't looking to do something else or to eventually meet this goal.
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Help Me See is a podcast dedicated to the art of seeing.
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It's a space for the restless visionary with an insatiable desire to create the life and work you're meant for.
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My name is Bianca Lea Mora, and I'm a photographic artist, a mother, and a coach who's transformed my fear of loss into power, art, and philosophy.
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One of the scariest quotes I never want to say is, I wish I knew at the time, but I truly believe that we have the innate ability to bring our wise 2020 hindsight to our now.
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You can deeply experience your nostalgia now, while it's actually happening, with no regrets.
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All you have to do is see.
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In this show, we laugh, we cry, we get inspired, we overshare, we have life changing conversations around making meaning, self discovery, and shedding all the BS layers in order to reconnect to our own sacred vision.
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Seeing yourself is an essential key to living powerfully.
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You are the vessel, the lens that filters absolutely everything in your life.
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What are you filtering for? Whether it be conversations with fellow artists and visionaries, or my solo audio journal style introspective ramblings, each episode is meant to feel like an exhale, an unraveling of truth, a moment for you to be able to put your finger on something that you haven't been able to for far too long.
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Come exactly as you are.
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It's perfect.
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Honor your instincts.
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Let's uncover some of the most important things in our lives which all too often can slip out from our view.
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Let's commit to seeing and consciously creating what only you can in your one and only life.
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Let's dive in.
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Hello, and welcome to another episode of help me see.
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I come to you with a CBD seltzer in hand.
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I just tried to record.
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Outside of my deck because it's a beautiful day.
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And I thought, okay, vampire, perhaps instead of being in your pitch, black basement, You might want to be in the sun and chit chat, Chitty chat.
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But of course, inevitably there was someone mowing their lawn.
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I swear, it feels like.
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No matter what time.
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Of daylight.
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I go out there.
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Someone is doing lawn maintenance and it's makes me like, never want to live in a neighborhood again.
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So I don't have to hear anyone's lawn chores.
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I don't know why it bothers me so much.
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I don't know.
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I don't know.
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So I come to you with a thought.
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And I think to some, this thought might sound.
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Negative.
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To some, this may be deflating or, um, I don't know.
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It may kind of seem counter-intuitive to the whole.
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Manifesting and.
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Holding the vision and.
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Blah, blah, blah.
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Aim for the moon or shoot for the moon you'll land in the stars, whatever.
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But all I'm saying is when I had this thought.
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A huge wave of peace.
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Just washed over me.
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And I was like, oh, It feels kind of nice.
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So.
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Naturally, I want to share it with you.
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Um, Whatever your work is, whatever your.
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Aspirations or your goals or your, you know, your art, your.
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Whatever.
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What if.
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I don't know why I'm laughing.
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I guess, I think about to say it out loud.
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It does sound pretty terrible, but it, I think it's great.
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Okay.
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What might happen? If you created this hypothetical situation in your mind right now, where you.
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Told yourself.
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That's.
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It's not going to happen.
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Like.
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What if the thing.
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That you're striving for.
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What if it just dropped into your awareness, your consciousness, that.
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It is not going to happen.
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Stay with me.
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I was reading this book.
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And they were talking about like these writers and artists that never lived to see.
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They're quote unquote success or the impact of their work or, you know, fame or whatever.
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What have you.
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And there's just something so beautiful.
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That gave me so much warmth thinking about.
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Someone's spending their whole life doing whatever they were doing without those gratifications without those, Approvals or validations and continuing to do it anyway.
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Right.
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And I'd like to, I think sometimes I pride myself too much on.
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Well, I know I'm going to do what I know is right.
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For me, regardless of approval or regardless of traditional markers of success.
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And.
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I think what I've missed along the way.
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Is I have underestimated the.
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The weight of the, what F.
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Like, what if this next thing is like the thing that breaks things loose and, um, I'm able to X, Y, Z, or what if this is this going to be the thing that helps XYZ? What if.
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Anything I create anything that I make, anything that I do is done.
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So under the.
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It sounds terrible, but under the assumption that it quote unquote, it is never going to happen.
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And why does that feel so good to me? When I think about it, I think about like, What might success be for me in this, in this stage? I think.
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Truly successes.
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You know, Complete time, freedom and choice.
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To be able to do.
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Whatever I deem important.
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All the time, no matter what.
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And I do that most of the time, but with this like heavy burden of.
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You know, finance and wanting to support my family and X, Y, Z.
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And with every thing that I'm doing with every.
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Year that comes and goes.
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I think, is this going to be the year? Where it gets easier.
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Is this going to be the year? That.
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The struggle subsides.
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But what if.
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I just assumed that.
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What I ultimately want.
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We'll come at a time where it doesn't matter to me.
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And it's never going to come during the striving of it, which actually is.
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What they say about manifesting? You only.
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Get or create what you are.
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Right.
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So.
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I guess this actually is a very brilliant manifesting now that I say it that way.
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Um, I don't know.
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I don't know.
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How does that feel? Okay.
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Okay.
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Here's here's what happened.
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When I had this thought about like, okay, If all the work that that I do.
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Someone told me that.
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Only after my death, will it take off and impact? Widespread impact, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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And it'll help so many people and yada, yada, yada, all these wonderful stuff, artists.
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Might love.
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But it's not going to happen.
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In this life it's not going to happen now.
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I would think.
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Or I did think, I did think like, Huh.
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I wouldn't do anything different.
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And that.
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To me, it was like winning the lottery I was like, oh, I mean, I knew I wouldn't, I cognitively already knew that, but like, In that intense scenario in that.
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Severity.
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And I truly in my bones felt like.
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I would not be doing anything different.
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And that gives me so much comfort, so much more comfort than if.
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I made it, whatever that is or had like it mounts of, uh, extreme financial comfort.
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It gave me like comfort in my soul to know that I'm already.
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Doing.
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Life the way I want to be doing life and the opportunity to soften into an even more.
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And enjoy it more.
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Could be mine.
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If I release the striving.
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And this doesn't mean not try or to just assume truly that it's never going to happen for me or blah-blah-blah.
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But it means.
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Lighter.
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It's like all the same, but later.
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With.
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A looser.
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Grip.
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Not even a grip, just like open palms, you know? I think, what would it look like? Well, how different would your life.
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Look.
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If you weren't working towards.
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Or something.
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There's so much glorification around like, Striving to meet your goals and.
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Better yourself and, you know, give your children more than you had or boom.
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Blah, blah, blah.
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And I'm not.
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Um, dissing it or anything.
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Well, I mean, I guess maybe I am a little bit, but I think, I just think that it requires a.
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More tender I to like look at it and, and really think about.
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How would we experience our life right now? If.
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We weren't looking to do something else or to eventually meet this goal.
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What is it? Um, Steve jobs said something.
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Was it him or.
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Is it like.
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If you wake up too many days in a row.
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And what you were doing that day.
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Didn't make you excited or happy then change what you're doing in your life.
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So while I'm not sitting here saying.
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I give up on thinking that.
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I will ever go far in what I love most.
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And.
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Blah, blah, blah.
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I'm not saying that, but when I am saying is.
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Aye.
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I'm deeply grateful for and acknowledge the fact that I felt a profound sense.
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Of comfort and peace.
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In the knowing that I am.
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Doing.
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What I'm doing regardless of what comes of it.
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And I can be agile with the, how.
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I could be versatile.
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I could.
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diversify.
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I could.
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You know, flex and stretch and bend and be nimble with.
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The regular life.
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Responsibilities that I have.
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And not sacrifice.
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Myself, my soul, my heart, my beliefs, my.
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00:14:33,933.33333334 --> 00:14:34,503.33333334
Art.
208
00:14:36,963.33333334 --> 00:14:42,13.33333334
So, what, what does that look like for you? What if.
209
00:14:43,123.33333334 --> 00:14:44,983.33333334
Let's flip it and make it even sound.
210
00:14:45,283.33333334 --> 00:14:45,943.33333334
A little.
211
00:14:46,603.33333334 --> 00:14:50,923.33333334
Sweeter, perhaps what if you clicked your fingers and you had everything you already wanted.
212
00:14:52,363.33333334 --> 00:14:54,193.33333334
Ever, like it's all there.
213
00:14:54,763.33333334 --> 00:14:56,53.33333334
But you had to continue.
214
00:14:56,413.33333334 --> 00:14:58,843.33333334
You know, doing life right.
215
00:14:59,563.33333334 --> 00:15:10,873.33333334
What, what are you doing? Are you still doing the thing you're doing now? What are you doing differently? And whatever that is, what's stopping you from doing a version of that now.
216
00:15:13,603.33333333 --> 00:15:15,313.33333333
So I'm almost done with this book.
217
00:15:16,13.33333333 --> 00:15:18,833.33333333
the book is called a, you must change your life.
218
00:15:18,883.33333333 --> 00:15:20,83.33333333
By Rachel Corbett.
219
00:15:20,143.33333333 --> 00:15:21,643.33333333
And it's the story of Roca.
220
00:15:21,883.33333333 --> 00:15:22,513.33333333
And Rodin.
221
00:15:22,743.33333333 --> 00:15:24,963.33333333
And it talks about there.
222
00:15:26,643.33333333 --> 00:15:27,873.33333333
Unlikely friendship.
223
00:15:28,533.33333333 --> 00:15:33,753.33333333
And how they were polar opposites and you know, what that looked like and how their lives played out.
224
00:15:33,753.33333333 --> 00:15:34,773.33333333
And I'm almost at the end.
225
00:15:35,43.33333333 --> 00:15:35,883.33333333
And right now.
226
00:15:36,933.33333333 --> 00:15:37,743.33333333
And.
227
00:15:37,743.33333333 --> 00:15:39,93.33333333
I have to say.
228
00:15:39,93.33333333 --> 00:15:41,103.33333333
I am uncomfortable with how.
229
00:15:43,23.33333333 --> 00:15:43,563.33333333
Deeply.
230
00:15:43,563.33333333 --> 00:15:45,933.33333333
I relate to real Coca.
231
00:15:46,983.33333333 --> 00:15:47,763.33333333
And.
232
00:15:49,353.33333333 --> 00:15:51,153.33333333
It's not flattering.
233
00:15:54,183.33333333 --> 00:15:57,633.33333333
He lived so much of his life.
234
00:15:57,663.33333333 --> 00:16:00,303.33333333
So insular, so.
235
00:16:02,883.33333333 --> 00:16:06,963.33333333
Rejecting of like the physical, real life.
236
00:16:07,683.33333333 --> 00:16:19,443.33333333
And living more in his work and in this spiritual plane of What is his writing and what his, you know, his in seeing and what.
237
00:16:22,203.33333333 --> 00:16:23,763.33333333
So much so that he.
238
00:16:24,443.33333333 --> 00:16:26,213.33333333
Largely missed out on.
239
00:16:27,23.33333333 --> 00:16:29,783.33333333
Much of life's experiences.
240
00:16:30,773.33333333 --> 00:16:32,93.33333333
And, to me.
241
00:16:32,93.33333333 --> 00:16:33,773.33333333
It's a cautionary tale.
242
00:16:35,393.33333333 --> 00:16:36,863.33333333
It makes me want to.
243
00:16:37,583.33333332 --> 00:16:45,23.3333333
Take my work less seriously, but even just saying that out loud makes my insights clench.
244
00:16:45,83.3333333 --> 00:16:46,913.3333333
I'm like, oh, But no.
245
00:16:47,903.3333333 --> 00:16:48,893.3333333
But no.
246
00:16:50,663.3333333 --> 00:16:55,643.3333333
I think what I'm getting caught up in here is.
247
00:16:58,853.3333333 --> 00:17:01,583.3333333
Is approaching it as if I have to make a choice.
248
00:17:02,213.3333333 --> 00:17:08,873.3333333
As if in order to enjoy my life more, I must take my work less seriously.
249
00:17:08,873.3333333 --> 00:17:11,273.3333333
And I just don't think that's true.
250
00:17:12,843.3333333 --> 00:17:18,843.3333333
I feel like more and more whenever I'm faced with something that I feel like is a rock and a hard place.
251
00:17:19,683.3333333 --> 00:17:21,273.3333333
I realize it's just because I'm not.
252
00:17:21,273.3333333 --> 00:17:24,543.3333333
Seeing the possibility of both existing.
253
00:17:25,453.3333333 --> 00:17:27,553.3333333
And it certainly doesn't mean it's not possible.
254
00:17:29,501.3378685 --> 00:17:33,521.3378685
So now I'm thinking about like, what are ways where I can.
255
00:17:34,901.3378685 --> 00:17:39,581.3378685
Find spaces and places to release the anticipation of a result.
256
00:17:40,361.3378685 --> 00:17:41,141.3378685
In my life.
257
00:17:41,551.3378685 --> 00:17:44,311.3378685
We're human beings and it's natural.
258
00:17:44,851.3378685 --> 00:17:45,451.3378685
Two.
259
00:17:46,861.3378685 --> 00:17:49,111.3378685
Think about what will come of something.
260
00:17:49,771.3378685 --> 00:17:50,221.3378685
But.
261
00:17:50,221.3378685 --> 00:17:52,21.3378685
From a neuropathway perspective.
262
00:17:52,861.3378685 --> 00:17:55,681.3378685
That is one slippery slope in my brain.
263
00:17:56,251.3378685 --> 00:17:56,731.3378685
Right.
264
00:17:56,881.3378685 --> 00:18:01,651.3378685
It has been paved too many times and I need to.
265
00:18:02,941.3378685 --> 00:18:10,651.3378685
Find a new habit to create a new habit where I, I see the opportunity for that left churn to get off that water slide.
266
00:18:11,461.3378685 --> 00:18:13,21.3378685
And my brain of.
267
00:18:13,921.3378685 --> 00:18:19,141.3378685
And hold your breath until you see if this quote-unquote works or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
268
00:18:20,881.3378685 --> 00:18:25,771.3378685
Oh, one of the like low hanging fruit, simplest ways that I find myself.
269
00:18:26,71.3378685 --> 00:18:35,821.3378685
Considering is deleting Instagram off my phone, not deleting my account, but just making it so that whenever I want to post, I have to download it to post.
270
00:18:36,631.3378685 --> 00:18:37,141.3378685
And.
271
00:18:38,41.3378685 --> 00:18:39,861.3378685
It's because I find that.
272
00:18:40,161.3378685 --> 00:18:41,181.3378685
Even though.
273
00:18:43,401.3378685 --> 00:18:45,981.3378685
It doesn't alter what I post.
274
00:18:46,581.3378685 --> 00:18:49,611.3378685
I'm still checking it so many times.
275
00:18:50,331.3378685 --> 00:18:51,411.3378685
And there's nothing to check.
276
00:18:51,441.3378685 --> 00:19:01,631.3378685
Like, I don't know if I'm shadow banned or what, but like, Like I, I get like, you know, 50 views on my stuff it's fine, whatever, but it is.
277
00:19:02,351.3378685 --> 00:19:02,981.3378685
Draining.
278
00:19:04,181.3378685 --> 00:19:12,671.3378685
And he's like, I'm not even posting it for that gratification and posting it because one is an extension of the creation.
279
00:19:12,671.3378685 --> 00:19:24,371.3378685
I love pairing, like, The photographs with music and, um, just seeing what comes in that moment and what I want to write about, or, or what I just feel like sharing whatever.
280
00:19:24,371.3378685 --> 00:19:24,881.3378685
But.
281
00:19:24,881.3378685 --> 00:19:26,261.3378685
It's so murky.
282
00:19:26,381.3378685 --> 00:19:27,971.3378685
It gets to a point where.
283
00:19:27,971.3378685 --> 00:19:30,731.3378685
The intent was not for a result.
284
00:19:31,241.3378685 --> 00:19:33,191.3378685
And yet, because I know that.
285
00:19:34,451.3378685 --> 00:19:35,981.3378685
A result is possible.
286
00:19:36,101.3378685 --> 00:19:37,901.3378685
Like there could be an alert.
287
00:19:37,931.3378685 --> 00:19:39,341.3378685
There could be a notification.
288
00:19:39,671.3378685 --> 00:19:41,681.3378685
And I turned off my notifications.
289
00:19:41,681.3378685 --> 00:19:45,401.3378685
So now I'm checking Instagram more, which is so fucking stupid.
290
00:19:47,471.3378685 --> 00:19:49,841.3378685
Anyone else get worse when they tried to better.
291
00:19:50,201.3378685 --> 00:19:51,651.3378685
There, Phone habits.
292
00:19:52,11.3378685 --> 00:19:55,851.3378685
Like I've done app blockers and stuff and made it really difficult.
293
00:19:55,851.3378685 --> 00:19:58,851.3378685
And I just like go through the difficulty to get through it.
294
00:19:59,391.3378685 --> 00:20:04,61.3378685
I really think that I need to restore my phone to like factory settings and let it alert me.
295
00:20:04,991.3378685 --> 00:20:06,101.3378685
Then I'll check it lists.
296
00:20:09,521.3378685 --> 00:20:10,391.3378685
Uh, Anyway.
297
00:20:12,971.3378685 --> 00:20:18,341.3378685
Has this brought up anything for you? I think that.
298
00:20:18,341.3378685 --> 00:20:20,141.3378685
When you boil it down to.
299
00:20:20,141.3378685 --> 00:20:22,151.3378685
Getting really clear about.
300
00:20:22,151.3378685 --> 00:20:25,721.3378685
The intention and the expectation around what you're doing.
301
00:20:26,111.3378685 --> 00:20:28,751.3378685
In the majority of your life.
302
00:20:29,91.3378685 --> 00:20:32,961.3378685
whether it's your work or how you're living or whatever it is.
303
00:20:35,511.3378685 --> 00:20:39,261.3378685
If you feel like you're in congruence with yourself.
304
00:20:39,891.3378685 --> 00:20:41,601.3378685
And how you're spending your time.
305
00:20:42,741.3378685 --> 00:20:46,911.3378685
It feels like everything else in life gets to be softer.
306
00:20:48,671.3378685 --> 00:20:49,271.3378685
If.
307
00:20:49,271.3378685 --> 00:20:53,471.3378685
There's too much emphasis on our result or.
308
00:20:54,491.3378685 --> 00:20:58,661.3378685
Something that you are hoping will come out of what you're creating.
309
00:20:58,991.3378685 --> 00:20:59,921.3378685
And what you're doing.
310
00:21:00,851.3378685 --> 00:21:02,921.3378685
I think that can be super.
311
00:21:03,761.3378685 --> 00:21:08,711.3378685
Restricting something V it's like a pressure cooker situation, just very tight.
312
00:21:09,131.3378685 --> 00:21:11,261.3378685
And crunchy and tense.
313
00:21:11,771.3378685 --> 00:21:23,931.3378685
And, Just overall, not helpful, right? Because at the end of the end of the end of the day, Especially as an artist of any kind.
314
00:21:24,441.3378685 --> 00:21:27,501.3378685
And we're all artists in our own, right.
315
00:21:27,561.3378685 --> 00:21:28,551.3378685
In our own way.
316
00:21:28,551.3378685 --> 00:21:29,151.3378685
The.
317
00:21:30,441.3378685 --> 00:21:31,161.3378685
Point.
318
00:21:31,881.3378685 --> 00:21:32,511.3378685
Of.
319
00:21:33,321.3378685 --> 00:21:34,821.3378685
Creating anything.
320
00:21:35,751.3378685 --> 00:21:40,791.3378685
With purity is the moment of creation, right? Like it's.
321
00:21:40,791.3378685 --> 00:21:44,31.3378685
It's about the experience, not the end product.
322
00:21:45,801.3378685 --> 00:21:46,761.3378685
If it was.
323
00:21:47,961.3378685 --> 00:21:51,351.3378685
And, you know, prioritizing an end product at all costs.
324
00:21:52,401.3378685 --> 00:21:55,881.3378685
Then you're really fucking with the sanctity of what you're doing.
325
00:21:56,871.3378685 --> 00:22:01,521.3378685
And your experience and your life and the journey of it.
326
00:22:01,521.3378685 --> 00:22:06,501.3378685
I mean, It's still, it's just exactly the way I think about.
327
00:22:07,131.3378685 --> 00:22:07,971.3378685
Pictures.
328
00:22:09,831.3378685 --> 00:22:19,961.3378685
It's like I won't push in a family session to get a shot that I have in my brain, or to get the perfect shot if the experience is going to be.
329
00:22:21,191.3378685 --> 00:22:22,121.3378685
So heavy.
330
00:22:22,121.3378685 --> 00:22:27,841.3378685
And the struggle and the tension and the, the energy of it is just getting tighter and tighter.
331
00:22:28,111.3378685 --> 00:22:35,491.3378685
Because of it, because even if you get the most beautiful shot, When that shot is printed and framed on their wall.
332
00:22:37,171.3378685 --> 00:22:44,11.3378685
You remember that you remember that feeling? I think I've shared on the podcast before, who knows a long time ago.
333
00:22:44,41.3378685 --> 00:22:47,11.3378685
My, my dad was so sweet and he.
334
00:22:47,11.3378685 --> 00:22:51,71.3378685
Surprised me with like these glass prints of some photos.
335
00:22:51,71.3378685 --> 00:22:53,681.3378685
I took self portrait, like family photo.
336
00:22:53,681.3378685 --> 00:22:55,721.3378685
They took when my second was born and it was.
337
00:22:56,351.3378685 --> 00:22:58,391.3378685
The least loving I've ever felt.
338
00:22:58,421.3378685 --> 00:23:00,491.3378685
I was like, sweating was irritated.
339
00:23:00,491.3378685 --> 00:23:01,841.3378685
It was such a pain in the ass.
340
00:23:01,841.3378685 --> 00:23:05,81.3378685
And every time I look at those photos, I think about how.
341
00:23:05,681.3378685 --> 00:23:06,401.3378685
Annoyed.
342
00:23:06,431.3378685 --> 00:23:06,521.3378685
I.
343
00:23:08,141.3378685 --> 00:23:09,611.3378685
Every time.
344
00:23:10,751.3378685 --> 00:23:11,951.3378685
it's just not worth it.
345
00:23:12,161.3378685 --> 00:23:13,751.3378685
It's just not worth it.
346
00:23:13,931.3378685 --> 00:23:22,931.3378685
I mean, how many times do you get what you want and then realize, huh? And it doesn't quite feel like I thought it would anyway.
347
00:23:22,961.3378685 --> 00:23:25,181.3378685
So let's just get ahead of it.
348
00:23:25,211.3378685 --> 00:23:28,871.3378685
Let's just bring our wise hindsight into our now.
349
00:23:29,321.3378685 --> 00:23:31,991.3378685
The same way we do with our photographic practice.
350
00:23:33,611.3378685 --> 00:23:35,141.3378685
And think what.
351
00:23:36,311.3378685 --> 00:23:46,761.3378685
Am I making the picture? Of of my life, of this goal, of this vision of whatever I'm doing, what am I trying to make the picture? And see it.
352
00:23:50,121.3378685 --> 00:23:51,201.3378685
And you can appreciate it.
353
00:23:51,201.3378685 --> 00:23:52,371.3378685
You don't have to reject it.
354
00:23:53,391.3378685 --> 00:23:54,891.3378685
But then let it go.
355
00:23:56,181.3378685 --> 00:23:58,221.3378685
Like I see that that's beautiful.
356
00:23:58,221.3378685 --> 00:23:59,841.3378685
I could see why I would want that.
357
00:24:00,681.3378685 --> 00:24:02,841.3378685
And I'm going to let it go and focus.
358
00:24:03,771.3378685 --> 00:24:07,311.3378685
On the most important thing possible, which is like right here.
359
00:24:07,311.3378685 --> 00:24:08,991.3378685
And right now in this present moment.
360
00:24:10,71.3378685 --> 00:24:17,61.3378685
And what I'm creating in this breath, because every breath you're creating, you have an opportunity to create whatever.
361
00:24:18,141.3378685 --> 00:24:19,71.3378685
Of your life.
362
00:24:20,511.3378685 --> 00:24:23,331.3378685
Of your work of your family, of yourself.
363
00:24:24,991.3378685 --> 00:24:30,271.3378685
So, how might you move differently? When you let go.
364
00:24:31,711.3378685 --> 00:24:32,701.3378685
Of whatever.
365
00:24:35,461.3378685 --> 00:24:37,141.3378685
Heavy aspirations.
366
00:24:37,141.3378685 --> 00:24:38,221.3378685
You might be carrying.
367
00:24:39,211.3378685 --> 00:24:40,81.3378685
On your shoulders.
368
00:24:42,811.3378685 --> 00:24:44,521.3378685
It makes me chuckle because.
369
00:24:45,721.3378685 --> 00:24:51,361.3378685
I know that when I'm not trying to make a good photograph.
370
00:24:51,421.3378685 --> 00:24:52,531.3378685
Quote, unquote.
371
00:24:55,141.3378685 --> 00:24:55,891.3378685
Really.
372
00:24:56,221.3378685 --> 00:24:59,971.3378685
Really important, beautiful photographs get made inevitably.
373
00:25:01,141.3378685 --> 00:25:01,621.3378685
So.
374
00:25:02,401.3378685 --> 00:25:04,381.3378685
When you're not trying.
375
00:25:05,851.3378685 --> 00:25:06,931.3378685
To reach.
376
00:25:07,801.3378685 --> 00:25:09,301.3378685
This pinnacle, this.
377
00:25:10,351.3378685 --> 00:25:13,201.3378685
Goal this outcome.
378
00:25:15,61.3378685 --> 00:25:16,771.3378685
Then your energy.
379
00:25:16,771.3378685 --> 00:25:18,721.3378685
Your love your presence.
380
00:25:19,261.3378685 --> 00:25:21,571.3378685
Your intuition, your inspiration.
381
00:25:22,381.3378685 --> 00:25:24,691.3378685
Everything can be with you.
382
00:25:25,171.3378685 --> 00:25:29,881.3378685
In the, now in the only place where it actually has power.
383
00:25:30,301.3378685 --> 00:25:30,901.3378685
Right now.
384
00:25:31,891.3378685 --> 00:25:32,431.3378685
Right now.
385
00:25:34,681.3378685 --> 00:25:36,511.3378685
So I'm going to.
386
00:25:36,511.3378685 --> 00:25:40,411.3378685
Do my best to practice, which has came out of my frigging mouth because.
387
00:25:41,681.3378685 --> 00:25:42,731.3378685
Earlier I was.
388
00:25:43,241.3378685 --> 00:25:49,361.3378685
At the park with my son and I was, I just was crawling out of my skin like, oh my gosh, I just.
389
00:25:51,731.3378685 --> 00:25:58,421.3378685
My thought around what the day was going to be versus what it was and his energy and my energy.
390
00:25:58,451.3378685 --> 00:25:58,901.3378685
And.
391
00:25:58,901.3378685 --> 00:26:04,121.3378685
You know, having those blips, those moments of like, oh, oh my God, look at him.
392
00:26:04,121.3378685 --> 00:26:05,171.3378685
And I love you so much.
393
00:26:05,171.3378685 --> 00:26:05,861.3378685
And then also.
394
00:26:06,341.3378685 --> 00:26:07,241.3378685
Oh, my God.
395
00:26:07,241.3378685 --> 00:26:08,321.3378685
Get away from me.
396
00:26:08,321.3378685 --> 00:26:10,211.3378685
You are annoying me so bad.
397
00:26:10,361.3378685 --> 00:26:10,991.3378685
Oh, my God.
398
00:26:14,321.3378685 --> 00:26:15,341.3378685
And I saw it.
399
00:26:15,371.3378685 --> 00:26:16,721.3378685
I saw, you know, when somethings.
400
00:26:16,991.3378685 --> 00:26:19,181.3378685
You know, present in your mind, you see it everywhere.
401
00:26:19,211.3378685 --> 00:26:20,501.3378685
And I was like, yeah, I am.
402
00:26:21,671.3378685 --> 00:26:25,721.3378685
I'm expecting this out of this outing.
403
00:26:26,201.3378685 --> 00:26:28,541.3378685
And that's not what's happening and it's creating.
404
00:26:29,201.3378685 --> 00:26:31,361.3378685
This friction and this frustration in me.
405
00:26:33,221.3378685 --> 00:26:34,121.3378685
And that's okay.
406
00:26:34,241.3378685 --> 00:26:43,571.3378685
And can I let it go? And can I let it go? I didn't really let it go.
407
00:26:43,601.3378685 --> 00:26:49,91.3378685
I mean, kind of a little bit, but ultimately I am the mother and I did get in the car and we left.
408
00:26:57,581.3378685 --> 00:26:57,971.3378685
Okay.
409
00:26:58,841.3378685 --> 00:27:06,371.3378685
That is what I have for you today, because that has been swirling around my brain for.
410
00:27:07,451.3378685 --> 00:27:08,501.3378685
The last few.
411
00:27:09,191.3378685 --> 00:27:09,731.3378685
Days.
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I mean, actually the last couple of weeks, pretty strong and hard.
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00:27:13,691.3378685 --> 00:27:14,111.3378685
So.
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I wanted to bring that to you.
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00:27:17,171.3378685 --> 00:27:19,721.3378685
Um, as always, if you.
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00:27:19,721.3378685 --> 00:27:24,581.3378685
If you feel inspired to share this with someone that you think would enjoy it.
417
00:27:25,901.3378685 --> 00:27:31,721.3378685
Or your referral is the highest compliment and, um, I think.
418
00:27:31,991.3378685 --> 00:27:34,901.3378685
Reviews and sharing the podcast in general.
419
00:27:35,291.3378685 --> 00:27:38,231.3378685
Is the best way to help more people find it.
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00:27:38,391.3378685 --> 00:27:40,431.3378685
So thank you for being here.
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Thank you for listening.
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00:27:43,131.3378685 --> 00:27:46,221.3378685
And, Feel free to DM me any ahas.
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00:27:46,971.3378685 --> 00:27:50,871.3378685
You might have uncovered during this episode, I would love to hear.
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I'll catch you next time.
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This has been an Awkward Sage Production.
00:00:00,50.000000000011 --> 00:00:03,550
What might happen? If you told yourself.
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That's.
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It's not going to happen.
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What if the thing.
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That you're striving for.
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Is not going to happen.
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Stay with me.
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I was reading this book.
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Talking about these writers and artists that never lived to see.
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They're quote unquote success or the impact of their work or, you know, fame or whatever.
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What have you.
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And there's just something so beautiful.
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That gave me so much warmth thinking about.
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Someone's spending their whole life doing whatever they were doing without those gratifications What if.
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Anything I create anything that I make, anything that I do is done.
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So under the.
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It sounds terrible, but under the assumption that it quote unquote, it is never going to happen.
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And why does that feel so good to me? If I release the striving.
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And this doesn't mean not try but it means.
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Lighter.
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It's like all the same, but later.
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With.
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Open palms, you know? I think, what would it look like? How would we experience our life right now? If.
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We weren't looking to do something else or to eventually meet this goal.
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Help Me See is a podcast dedicated to the art of seeing.
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It's a space for the restless visionary with an insatiable desire to create the life and work you're meant for.
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My name is Bianca Lea Mora, and I'm a photographic artist, a mother, and a coach who's transformed my fear of loss into power, art, and philosophy.
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One of the scariest quotes I never want to say is, I wish I knew at the time, but I truly believe that we have the innate ability to bring our wise 2020 hindsight to our now.
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You can deeply experience your nostalgia now, while it's actually happening, with no regrets.
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All you have to do is see.
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In this show, we laugh, we cry, we get inspired, we overshare, we have life changing conversations around making meaning, self discovery, and shedding all the BS layers in order to reconnect to our own sacred vision.
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Seeing yourself is an essential key to living powerfully.
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You are the vessel, the lens that filters absolutely everything in your life.
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What are you filtering for? Whether it be conversations with fellow artists and visionaries, or my solo audio journal style introspective ramblings, each episode is meant to feel like an exhale, an unraveling of truth, a moment for you to be able to put your finger on something that you haven't been able to for far too long.
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Come exactly as you are.
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It's perfect.
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Honor your instincts.
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Let's uncover some of the most important things in our lives which all too often can slip out from our view.
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Let's commit to seeing and consciously creating what only you can in your one and only life.
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Let's dive in.
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Hello, and welcome to another episode of help me see.
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I come to you with a CBD seltzer in hand.
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I just tried to record.
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Outside of my deck because it's a beautiful day.
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And I thought, okay, vampire, perhaps instead of being in your pitch, black basement, You might want to be in the sun and chit chat, Chitty chat.
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But of course, inevitably there was someone mowing their lawn.
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I swear, it feels like.
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No matter what time.
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Of daylight.
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I go out there.
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Someone is doing lawn maintenance and it's makes me like, never want to live in a neighborhood again.
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So I don't have to hear anyone's lawn chores.
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I don't know why it bothers me so much.
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I don't know.
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I don't know.
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So I come to you with a thought.
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And I think to some, this thought might sound.
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Negative.
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To some, this may be deflating or, um, I don't know.
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It may kind of seem counter-intuitive to the whole.
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Manifesting and.
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Holding the vision and.
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Blah, blah, blah.
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Aim for the moon or shoot for the moon you'll land in the stars, whatever.
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But all I'm saying is when I had this thought.
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A huge wave of peace.
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Just washed over me.
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And I was like, oh, It feels kind of nice.
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So.
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Naturally, I want to share it with you.
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Um, Whatever your work is, whatever your.
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Aspirations or your goals or your, you know, your art, your.
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Whatever.
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What if.
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I don't know why I'm laughing.
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I guess, I think about to say it out loud.
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It does sound pretty terrible, but it, I think it's great.
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Okay.
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What might happen? If you created this hypothetical situation in your mind right now, where you.
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Told yourself.
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That's.
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It's not going to happen.
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Like.
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What if the thing.
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That you're striving for.
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What if it just dropped into your awareness, your consciousness, that.
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It is not going to happen.
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Stay with me.
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I was reading this book.
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And they were talking about like these writers and artists that never lived to see.
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They're quote unquote success or the impact of their work or, you know, fame or whatever.
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What have you.
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And there's just something so beautiful.
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That gave me so much warmth thinking about.
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Someone's spending their whole life doing whatever they were doing without those gratifications without those, Approvals or validations and continuing to do it anyway.
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Right.
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And I'd like to, I think sometimes I pride myself too much on.
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Well, I know I'm going to do what I know is right.
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For me, regardless of approval or regardless of traditional markers of success.
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And.
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I think what I've missed along the way.
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Is I have underestimated the.
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The weight of the, what F.
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Like, what if this next thing is like the thing that breaks things loose and, um, I'm able to X, Y, Z, or what if this is this going to be the thing that helps XYZ? What if.
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Anything I create anything that I make, anything that I do is done.
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So under the.
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It sounds terrible, but under the assumption that it quote unquote, it is never going to happen.
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And why does that feel so good to me? When I think about it, I think about like, What might success be for me in this, in this stage? I think.
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Truly successes.
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You know, Complete time, freedom and choice.
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To be able to do.
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Whatever I deem important.
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All the time, no matter what.
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And I do that most of the time, but with this like heavy burden of.
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You know, finance and wanting to support my family and X, Y, Z.
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And with every thing that I'm doing with every.
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Year that comes and goes.
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I think, is this going to be the year? Where it gets easier.
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Is this going to be the year? That.
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The struggle subsides.
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But what if.
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I just assumed that.
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What I ultimately want.
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We'll come at a time where it doesn't matter to me.
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And it's never going to come during the striving of it, which actually is.
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What they say about manifesting? You only.
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Get or create what you are.
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Right.
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So.
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I guess this actually is a very brilliant manifesting now that I say it that way.
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Um, I don't know.
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I don't know.
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How does that feel? Okay.
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Okay.
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Here's here's what happened.
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When I had this thought about like, okay, If all the work that that I do.
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Someone told me that.
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Only after my death, will it take off and impact? Widespread impact, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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And it'll help so many people and yada, yada, yada, all these wonderful stuff, artists.
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Might love.
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But it's not going to happen.
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In this life it's not going to happen now.
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I would think.
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Or I did think, I did think like, Huh.
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I wouldn't do anything different.
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And that.
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To me, it was like winning the lottery I was like, oh, I mean, I knew I wouldn't, I cognitively already knew that, but like, In that intense scenario in that.
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Severity.
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And I truly in my bones felt like.
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I would not be doing anything different.
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And that gives me so much comfort, so much more comfort than if.
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I made it, whatever that is or had like it mounts of, uh, extreme financial comfort.
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It gave me like comfort in my soul to know that I'm already.
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Doing.
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Life the way I want to be doing life and the opportunity to soften into an even more.
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And enjoy it more.
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Could be mine.
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If I release the striving.
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And this doesn't mean not try or to just assume truly that it's never going to happen for me or blah-blah-blah.
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But it means.
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Lighter.
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It's like all the same, but later.
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With.
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A looser.
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Grip.
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Not even a grip, just like open palms, you know? I think, what would it look like? Well, how different would your life.
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Look.
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If you weren't working towards.
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Or something.
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There's so much glorification around like, Striving to meet your goals and.
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Better yourself and, you know, give your children more than you had or boom.
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Blah, blah, blah.
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And I'm not.
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Um, dissing it or anything.
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Well, I mean, I guess maybe I am a little bit, but I think, I just think that it requires a.
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More tender I to like look at it and, and really think about.
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How would we experience our life right now? If.
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We weren't looking to do something else or to eventually meet this goal.
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What is it? Um, Steve jobs said something.
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Was it him or.
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Is it like.
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If you wake up too many days in a row.
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And what you were doing that day.
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Didn't make you excited or happy then change what you're doing in your life.
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So while I'm not sitting here saying.
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I give up on thinking that.
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I will ever go far in what I love most.
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And.
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Blah, blah, blah.
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I'm not saying that, but when I am saying is.
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00:13:50,53.33333334 --> 00:13:50,653.33333334
Aye.
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I'm deeply grateful for and acknowledge the fact that I felt a profound sense.
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Of comfort and peace.
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In the knowing that I am.
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00:14:03,163.33333334 --> 00:14:04,33.33333334
Doing.
196
00:14:04,33.33333334 --> 00:14:06,433.33333334
What I'm doing regardless of what comes of it.
197
00:14:08,563.33333334 --> 00:14:11,143.33333334
And I can be agile with the, how.
198
00:14:11,473.33333334 --> 00:14:12,523.33333334
I could be versatile.
199
00:14:12,523.33333334 --> 00:14:12,913.33333334
I could.
200
00:14:13,323.33333334 --> 00:14:14,493.33333334
diversify.
201
00:14:14,913.33333334 --> 00:14:15,513.33333334
I could.
202
00:14:15,663.33333334 --> 00:14:19,83.33333334
You know, flex and stretch and bend and be nimble with.
203
00:14:19,923.33333334 --> 00:14:22,23.33333334
The regular life.
204
00:14:22,653.33333334 --> 00:14:24,513.33333334
Responsibilities that I have.
205
00:14:24,813.33333334 --> 00:14:26,943.33333334
And not sacrifice.
206
00:14:27,993.33333334 --> 00:14:33,933.33333334
Myself, my soul, my heart, my beliefs, my.
207
00:14:33,933.33333334 --> 00:14:34,503.33333334
Art.
208
00:14:36,963.33333334 --> 00:14:42,13.33333334
So, what, what does that look like for you? What if.
209
00:14:43,123.33333334 --> 00:14:44,983.33333334
Let's flip it and make it even sound.
210
00:14:45,283.33333334 --> 00:14:45,943.33333334
A little.
211
00:14:46,603.33333334 --> 00:14:50,923.33333334
Sweeter, perhaps what if you clicked your fingers and you had everything you already wanted.
212
00:14:52,363.33333334 --> 00:14:54,193.33333334
Ever, like it's all there.
213
00:14:54,763.33333334 --> 00:14:56,53.33333334
But you had to continue.
214
00:14:56,413.33333334 --> 00:14:58,843.33333334
You know, doing life right.
215
00:14:59,563.33333334 --> 00:15:10,873.33333334
What, what are you doing? Are you still doing the thing you're doing now? What are you doing differently? And whatever that is, what's stopping you from doing a version of that now.
216
00:15:13,603.33333333 --> 00:15:15,313.33333333
So I'm almost done with this book.
217
00:15:16,13.33333333 --> 00:15:18,833.33333333
the book is called a, you must change your life.
218
00:15:18,883.33333333 --> 00:15:20,83.33333333
By Rachel Corbett.
219
00:15:20,143.33333333 --> 00:15:21,643.33333333
And it's the story of Roca.
220
00:15:21,883.33333333 --> 00:15:22,513.33333333
And Rodin.
221
00:15:22,743.33333333 --> 00:15:24,963.33333333
And it talks about there.
222
00:15:26,643.33333333 --> 00:15:27,873.33333333
Unlikely friendship.
223
00:15:28,533.33333333 --> 00:15:33,753.33333333
And how they were polar opposites and you know, what that looked like and how their lives played out.
224
00:15:33,753.33333333 --> 00:15:34,773.33333333
And I'm almost at the end.
225
00:15:35,43.33333333 --> 00:15:35,883.33333333
And right now.
226
00:15:36,933.33333333 --> 00:15:37,743.33333333
And.
227
00:15:37,743.33333333 --> 00:15:39,93.33333333
I have to say.
228
00:15:39,93.33333333 --> 00:15:41,103.33333333
I am uncomfortable with how.
229
00:15:43,23.33333333 --> 00:15:43,563.33333333
Deeply.
230
00:15:43,563.33333333 --> 00:15:45,933.33333333
I relate to real Coca.
231
00:15:46,983.33333333 --> 00:15:47,763.33333333
And.
232
00:15:49,353.33333333 --> 00:15:51,153.33333333
It's not flattering.
233
00:15:54,183.33333333 --> 00:15:57,633.33333333
He lived so much of his life.
234
00:15:57,663.33333333 --> 00:16:00,303.33333333
So insular, so.
235
00:16:02,883.33333333 --> 00:16:06,963.33333333
Rejecting of like the physical, real life.
236
00:16:07,683.33333333 --> 00:16:19,443.33333333
And living more in his work and in this spiritual plane of What is his writing and what his, you know, his in seeing and what.
237
00:16:22,203.33333333 --> 00:16:23,763.33333333
So much so that he.
238
00:16:24,443.33333333 --> 00:16:26,213.33333333
Largely missed out on.
239
00:16:27,23.33333333 --> 00:16:29,783.33333333
Much of life's experiences.
240
00:16:30,773.33333333 --> 00:16:32,93.33333333
And, to me.
241
00:16:32,93.33333333 --> 00:16:33,773.33333333
It's a cautionary tale.
242
00:16:35,393.33333333 --> 00:16:36,863.33333333
It makes me want to.
243
00:16:37,583.33333332 --> 00:16:45,23.3333333
Take my work less seriously, but even just saying that out loud makes my insights clench.
244
00:16:45,83.3333333 --> 00:16:46,913.3333333
I'm like, oh, But no.
245
00:16:47,903.3333333 --> 00:16:48,893.3333333
But no.
246
00:16:50,663.3333333 --> 00:16:55,643.3333333
I think what I'm getting caught up in here is.
247
00:16:58,853.3333333 --> 00:17:01,583.3333333
Is approaching it as if I have to make a choice.
248
00:17:02,213.3333333 --> 00:17:08,873.3333333
As if in order to enjoy my life more, I must take my work less seriously.
249
00:17:08,873.3333333 --> 00:17:11,273.3333333
And I just don't think that's true.
250
00:17:12,843.3333333 --> 00:17:18,843.3333333
I feel like more and more whenever I'm faced with something that I feel like is a rock and a hard place.
251
00:17:19,683.3333333 --> 00:17:21,273.3333333
I realize it's just because I'm not.
252
00:17:21,273.3333333 --> 00:17:24,543.3333333
Seeing the possibility of both existing.
253
00:17:25,453.3333333 --> 00:17:27,553.3333333
And it certainly doesn't mean it's not possible.
254
00:17:29,501.3378685 --> 00:17:33,521.3378685
So now I'm thinking about like, what are ways where I can.
255
00:17:34,901.3378685 --> 00:17:39,581.3378685
Find spaces and places to release the anticipation of a result.
256
00:17:40,361.3378685 --> 00:17:41,141.3378685
In my life.
257
00:17:41,551.3378685 --> 00:17:44,311.3378685
We're human beings and it's natural.
258
00:17:44,851.3378685 --> 00:17:45,451.3378685
Two.
259
00:17:46,861.3378685 --> 00:17:49,111.3378685
Think about what will come of something.
260
00:17:49,771.3378685 --> 00:17:50,221.3378685
But.
261
00:17:50,221.3378685 --> 00:17:52,21.3378685
From a neuropathway perspective.
262
00:17:52,861.3378685 --> 00:17:55,681.3378685
That is one slippery slope in my brain.
263
00:17:56,251.3378685 --> 00:17:56,731.3378685
Right.
264
00:17:56,881.3378685 --> 00:18:01,651.3378685
It has been paved too many times and I need to.
265
00:18:02,941.3378685 --> 00:18:10,651.3378685
Find a new habit to create a new habit where I, I see the opportunity for that left churn to get off that water slide.
266
00:18:11,461.3378685 --> 00:18:13,21.3378685
And my brain of.
267
00:18:13,921.3378685 --> 00:18:19,141.3378685
And hold your breath until you see if this quote-unquote works or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
268
00:18:20,881.3378685 --> 00:18:25,771.3378685
Oh, one of the like low hanging fruit, simplest ways that I find myself.
269
00:18:26,71.3378685 --> 00:18:35,821.3378685
Considering is deleting Instagram off my phone, not deleting my account, but just making it so that whenever I want to post, I have to download it to post.
270
00:18:36,631.3378685 --> 00:18:37,141.3378685
And.
271
00:18:38,41.3378685 --> 00:18:39,861.3378685
It's because I find that.
272
00:18:40,161.3378685 --> 00:18:41,181.3378685
Even though.
273
00:18:43,401.3378685 --> 00:18:45,981.3378685
It doesn't alter what I post.
274
00:18:46,581.3378685 --> 00:18:49,611.3378685
I'm still checking it so many times.
275
00:18:50,331.3378685 --> 00:18:51,411.3378685
And there's nothing to check.
276
00:18:51,441.3378685 --> 00:19:01,631.3378685
Like, I don't know if I'm shadow banned or what, but like, Like I, I get like, you know, 50 views on my stuff it's fine, whatever, but it is.
277
00:19:02,351.3378685 --> 00:19:02,981.3378685
Draining.
278
00:19:04,181.3378685 --> 00:19:12,671.3378685
And he's like, I'm not even posting it for that gratification and posting it because one is an extension of the creation.
279
00:19:12,671.3378685 --> 00:19:24,371.3378685
I love pairing, like, The photographs with music and, um, just seeing what comes in that moment and what I want to write about, or, or what I just feel like sharing whatever.
280
00:19:24,371.3378685 --> 00:19:24,881.3378685
But.
281
00:19:24,881.3378685 --> 00:19:26,261.3378685
It's so murky.
282
00:19:26,381.3378685 --> 00:19:27,971.3378685
It gets to a point where.
283
00:19:27,971.3378685 --> 00:19:30,731.3378685
The intent was not for a result.
284
00:19:31,241.3378685 --> 00:19:33,191.3378685
And yet, because I know that.
285
00:19:34,451.3378685 --> 00:19:35,981.3378685
A result is possible.
286
00:19:36,101.3378685 --> 00:19:37,901.3378685
Like there could be an alert.
287
00:19:37,931.3378685 --> 00:19:39,341.3378685
There could be a notification.
288
00:19:39,671.3378685 --> 00:19:41,681.3378685
And I turned off my notifications.
289
00:19:41,681.3378685 --> 00:19:45,401.3378685
So now I'm checking Instagram more, which is so fucking stupid.
290
00:19:47,471.3378685 --> 00:19:49,841.3378685
Anyone else get worse when they tried to better.
291
00:19:50,201.3378685 --> 00:19:51,651.3378685
There, Phone habits.
292
00:19:52,11.3378685 --> 00:19:55,851.3378685
Like I've done app blockers and stuff and made it really difficult.
293
00:19:55,851.3378685 --> 00:19:58,851.3378685
And I just like go through the difficulty to get through it.
294
00:19:59,391.3378685 --> 00:20:04,61.3378685
I really think that I need to restore my phone to like factory settings and let it alert me.
295
00:20:04,991.3378685 --> 00:20:06,101.3378685
Then I'll check it lists.
296
00:20:09,521.3378685 --> 00:20:10,391.3378685
Uh, Anyway.
297
00:20:12,971.3378685 --> 00:20:18,341.3378685
Has this brought up anything for you? I think that.
298
00:20:18,341.3378685 --> 00:20:20,141.3378685
When you boil it down to.
299
00:20:20,141.3378685 --> 00:20:22,151.3378685
Getting really clear about.
300
00:20:22,151.3378685 --> 00:20:25,721.3378685
The intention and the expectation around what you're doing.
301
00:20:26,111.3378685 --> 00:20:28,751.3378685
In the majority of your life.
302
00:20:29,91.3378685 --> 00:20:32,961.3378685
whether it's your work or how you're living or whatever it is.
303
00:20:35,511.3378685 --> 00:20:39,261.3378685
If you feel like you're in congruence with yourself.
304
00:20:39,891.3378685 --> 00:20:41,601.3378685
And how you're spending your time.
305
00:20:42,741.3378685 --> 00:20:46,911.3378685
It feels like everything else in life gets to be softer.
306
00:20:48,671.3378685 --> 00:20:49,271.3378685
If.
307
00:20:49,271.3378685 --> 00:20:53,471.3378685
There's too much emphasis on our result or.
308
00:20:54,491.3378685 --> 00:20:58,661.3378685
Something that you are hoping will come out of what you're creating.
309
00:20:58,991.3378685 --> 00:20:59,921.3378685
And what you're doing.
310
00:21:00,851.3378685 --> 00:21:02,921.3378685
I think that can be super.
311
00:21:03,761.3378685 --> 00:21:08,711.3378685
Restricting something V it's like a pressure cooker situation, just very tight.
312
00:21:09,131.3378685 --> 00:21:11,261.3378685
And crunchy and tense.
313
00:21:11,771.3378685 --> 00:21:23,931.3378685
And, Just overall, not helpful, right? Because at the end of the end of the end of the day, Especially as an artist of any kind.
314
00:21:24,441.3378685 --> 00:21:27,501.3378685
And we're all artists in our own, right.
315
00:21:27,561.3378685 --> 00:21:28,551.3378685
In our own way.
316
00:21:28,551.3378685 --> 00:21:29,151.3378685
The.
317
00:21:30,441.3378685 --> 00:21:31,161.3378685
Point.
318
00:21:31,881.3378685 --> 00:21:32,511.3378685
Of.
319
00:21:33,321.3378685 --> 00:21:34,821.3378685
Creating anything.
320
00:21:35,751.3378685 --> 00:21:40,791.3378685
With purity is the moment of creation, right? Like it's.
321
00:21:40,791.3378685 --> 00:21:44,31.3378685
It's about the experience, not the end product.
322
00:21:45,801.3378685 --> 00:21:46,761.3378685
If it was.
323
00:21:47,961.3378685 --> 00:21:51,351.3378685
And, you know, prioritizing an end product at all costs.
324
00:21:52,401.3378685 --> 00:21:55,881.3378685
Then you're really fucking with the sanctity of what you're doing.
325
00:21:56,871.3378685 --> 00:22:01,521.3378685
And your experience and your life and the journey of it.
326
00:22:01,521.3378685 --> 00:22:06,501.3378685
I mean, It's still, it's just exactly the way I think about.
327
00:22:07,131.3378685 --> 00:22:07,971.3378685
Pictures.
328
00:22:09,831.3378685 --> 00:22:19,961.3378685
It's like I won't push in a family session to get a shot that I have in my brain, or to get the perfect shot if the experience is going to be.
329
00:22:21,191.3378685 --> 00:22:22,121.3378685
So heavy.
330
00:22:22,121.3378685 --> 00:22:27,841.3378685
And the struggle and the tension and the, the energy of it is just getting tighter and tighter.
331
00:22:28,111.3378685 --> 00:22:35,491.3378685
Because of it, because even if you get the most beautiful shot, When that shot is printed and framed on their wall.
332
00:22:37,171.3378685 --> 00:22:44,11.3378685
You remember that you remember that feeling? I think I've shared on the podcast before, who knows a long time ago.
333
00:22:44,41.3378685 --> 00:22:47,11.3378685
My, my dad was so sweet and he.
334
00:22:47,11.3378685 --> 00:22:51,71.3378685
Surprised me with like these glass prints of some photos.
335
00:22:51,71.3378685 --> 00:22:53,681.3378685
I took self portrait, like family photo.
336
00:22:53,681.3378685 --> 00:22:55,721.3378685
They took when my second was born and it was.
337
00:22:56,351.3378685 --> 00:22:58,391.3378685
The least loving I've ever felt.
338
00:22:58,421.3378685 --> 00:23:00,491.3378685
I was like, sweating was irritated.
339
00:23:00,491.3378685 --> 00:23:01,841.3378685
It was such a pain in the ass.
340
00:23:01,841.3378685 --> 00:23:05,81.3378685
And every time I look at those photos, I think about how.
341
00:23:05,681.3378685 --> 00:23:06,401.3378685
Annoyed.
342
00:23:06,431.3378685 --> 00:23:06,521.3378685
I.
343
00:23:08,141.3378685 --> 00:23:09,611.3378685
Every time.
344
00:23:10,751.3378685 --> 00:23:11,951.3378685
it's just not worth it.
345
00:23:12,161.3378685 --> 00:23:13,751.3378685
It's just not worth it.
346
00:23:13,931.3378685 --> 00:23:22,931.3378685
I mean, how many times do you get what you want and then realize, huh? And it doesn't quite feel like I thought it would anyway.
347
00:23:22,961.3378685 --> 00:23:25,181.3378685
So let's just get ahead of it.
348
00:23:25,211.3378685 --> 00:23:28,871.3378685
Let's just bring our wise hindsight into our now.
349
00:23:29,321.3378685 --> 00:23:31,991.3378685
The same way we do with our photographic practice.
350
00:23:33,611.3378685 --> 00:23:35,141.3378685
And think what.
351
00:23:36,311.3378685 --> 00:23:46,761.3378685
Am I making the picture? Of of my life, of this goal, of this vision of whatever I'm doing, what am I trying to make the picture? And see it.
352
00:23:50,121.3378685 --> 00:23:51,201.3378685
And you can appreciate it.
353
00:23:51,201.3378685 --> 00:23:52,371.3378685
You don't have to reject it.
354
00:23:53,391.3378685 --> 00:23:54,891.3378685
But then let it go.
355
00:23:56,181.3378685 --> 00:23:58,221.3378685
Like I see that that's beautiful.
356
00:23:58,221.3378685 --> 00:23:59,841.3378685
I could see why I would want that.
357
00:24:00,681.3378685 --> 00:24:02,841.3378685
And I'm going to let it go and focus.
358
00:24:03,771.3378685 --> 00:24:07,311.3378685
On the most important thing possible, which is like right here.
359
00:24:07,311.3378685 --> 00:24:08,991.3378685
And right now in this present moment.
360
00:24:10,71.3378685 --> 00:24:17,61.3378685
And what I'm creating in this breath, because every breath you're creating, you have an opportunity to create whatever.
361
00:24:18,141.3378685 --> 00:24:19,71.3378685
Of your life.
362
00:24:20,511.3378685 --> 00:24:23,331.3378685
Of your work of your family, of yourself.
363
00:24:24,991.3378685 --> 00:24:30,271.3378685
So, how might you move differently? When you let go.
364
00:24:31,711.3378685 --> 00:24:32,701.3378685
Of whatever.
365
00:24:35,461.3378685 --> 00:24:37,141.3378685
Heavy aspirations.
366
00:24:37,141.3378685 --> 00:24:38,221.3378685
You might be carrying.
367
00:24:39,211.3378685 --> 00:24:40,81.3378685
On your shoulders.
368
00:24:42,811.3378685 --> 00:24:44,521.3378685
It makes me chuckle because.
369
00:24:45,721.3378685 --> 00:24:51,361.3378685
I know that when I'm not trying to make a good photograph.
370
00:24:51,421.3378685 --> 00:24:52,531.3378685
Quote, unquote.
371
00:24:55,141.3378685 --> 00:24:55,891.3378685
Really.
372
00:24:56,221.3378685 --> 00:24:59,971.3378685
Really important, beautiful photographs get made inevitably.
373
00:25:01,141.3378685 --> 00:25:01,621.3378685
So.
374
00:25:02,401.3378685 --> 00:25:04,381.3378685
When you're not trying.
375
00:25:05,851.3378685 --> 00:25:06,931.3378685
To reach.
376
00:25:07,801.3378685 --> 00:25:09,301.3378685
This pinnacle, this.
377
00:25:10,351.3378685 --> 00:25:13,201.3378685
Goal this outcome.
378
00:25:15,61.3378685 --> 00:25:16,771.3378685
Then your energy.
379
00:25:16,771.3378685 --> 00:25:18,721.3378685
Your love your presence.
380
00:25:19,261.3378685 --> 00:25:21,571.3378685
Your intuition, your inspiration.
381
00:25:22,381.3378685 --> 00:25:24,691.3378685
Everything can be with you.
382
00:25:25,171.3378685 --> 00:25:29,881.3378685
In the, now in the only place where it actually has power.
383
00:25:30,301.3378685 --> 00:25:30,901.3378685
Right now.
384
00:25:31,891.3378685 --> 00:25:32,431.3378685
Right now.
385
00:25:34,681.3378685 --> 00:25:36,511.3378685
So I'm going to.
386
00:25:36,511.3378685 --> 00:25:40,411.3378685
Do my best to practice, which has came out of my frigging mouth because.
387
00:25:41,681.3378685 --> 00:25:42,731.3378685
Earlier I was.
388
00:25:43,241.3378685 --> 00:25:49,361.3378685
At the park with my son and I was, I just was crawling out of my skin like, oh my gosh, I just.
389
00:25:51,731.3378685 --> 00:25:58,421.3378685
My thought around what the day was going to be versus what it was and his energy and my energy.
390
00:25:58,451.3378685 --> 00:25:58,901.3378685
And.
391
00:25:58,901.3378685 --> 00:26:04,121.3378685
You know, having those blips, those moments of like, oh, oh my God, look at him.
392
00:26:04,121.3378685 --> 00:26:05,171.3378685
And I love you so much.
393
00:26:05,171.3378685 --> 00:26:05,861.3378685
And then also.
394
00:26:06,341.3378685 --> 00:26:07,241.3378685
Oh, my God.
395
00:26:07,241.3378685 --> 00:26:08,321.3378685
Get away from me.
396
00:26:08,321.3378685 --> 00:26:10,211.3378685
You are annoying me so bad.
397
00:26:10,361.3378685 --> 00:26:10,991.3378685
Oh, my God.
398
00:26:14,321.3378685 --> 00:26:15,341.3378685
And I saw it.
399
00:26:15,371.3378685 --> 00:26:16,721.3378685
I saw, you know, when somethings.
400
00:26:16,991.3378685 --> 00:26:19,181.3378685
You know, present in your mind, you see it everywhere.
401
00:26:19,211.3378685 --> 00:26:20,501.3378685
And I was like, yeah, I am.
402
00:26:21,671.3378685 --> 00:26:25,721.3378685
I'm expecting this out of this outing.
403
00:26:26,201.3378685 --> 00:26:28,541.3378685
And that's not what's happening and it's creating.
404
00:26:29,201.3378685 --> 00:26:31,361.3378685
This friction and this frustration in me.
405
00:26:33,221.3378685 --> 00:26:34,121.3378685
And that's okay.
406
00:26:34,241.3378685 --> 00:26:43,571.3378685
And can I let it go? And can I let it go? I didn't really let it go.
407
00:26:43,601.3378685 --> 00:26:49,91.3378685
I mean, kind of a little bit, but ultimately I am the mother and I did get in the car and we left.
408
00:26:57,581.3378685 --> 00:26:57,971.3378685
Okay.
409
00:26:58,841.3378685 --> 00:27:06,371.3378685
That is what I have for you today, because that has been swirling around my brain for.
410
00:27:07,451.3378685 --> 00:27:08,501.3378685
The last few.
411
00:27:09,191.3378685 --> 00:27:09,731.3378685
Days.
412
00:27:10,391.3378685 --> 00:27:13,691.3378685
I mean, actually the last couple of weeks, pretty strong and hard.
413
00:27:13,691.3378685 --> 00:27:14,111.3378685
So.
414
00:27:15,341.3378685 --> 00:27:17,51.3378685
I wanted to bring that to you.
415
00:27:17,171.3378685 --> 00:27:19,721.3378685
Um, as always, if you.
416
00:27:19,721.3378685 --> 00:27:24,581.3378685
If you feel inspired to share this with someone that you think would enjoy it.
417
00:27:25,901.3378685 --> 00:27:31,721.3378685
Or your referral is the highest compliment and, um, I think.
418
00:27:31,991.3378685 --> 00:27:34,901.3378685
Reviews and sharing the podcast in general.
419
00:27:35,291.3378685 --> 00:27:38,231.3378685
Is the best way to help more people find it.
420
00:27:38,391.3378685 --> 00:27:40,431.3378685
So thank you for being here.
421
00:27:40,431.3378685 --> 00:27:42,201.3378685
Thank you for listening.
422
00:27:43,131.3378685 --> 00:27:46,221.3378685
And, Feel free to DM me any ahas.
423
00:27:46,971.3378685 --> 00:27:50,871.3378685
You might have uncovered during this episode, I would love to hear.
424
00:27:52,491.3378685 --> 00:27:53,241.3378685
I'll catch you next time.
425
00:27:55,331.3378685 --> 00:27:58,551.3378685
This has been an Awkward Sage Production.
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