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April 24, 2024
I Had a Panic Attack in Yoga Class
Panic attack.
yes.I did.& of all places- a soothing yoga class?This episode is about the ambiguous panic of trying to "make it make sense" in life.disclaimer- at the end of this episode my kids woke up and joined the festivities and this time ins...
Panic attack.
yes.
I did.
& of all places- a soothing yoga class?
This episode is about the ambiguous panic of trying to "make it make sense" in life.
disclaimer- at the end of this episode my kids woke up and joined the festivities and this time instead of stopping recording I just rolled with it because life.
SHOW NOTES:
1:1 BREAKTHROUGH VISION SESSION
Sacred Seeing Membership for Creatives
https://www.instagram.com/biancaleamorra/
Awkward Sage Media
Transcript
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What in your life? Are you doing that? Make sense.
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But not in a good way.
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I won't even make it to triggering us to say.
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Release it, let it go.
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Just see it.
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Helped me see right.
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Just see it.
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Don't put the pressure on yourself to release it.
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And to change your life.
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Just be like, oh, I'm doing that there.
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Oh, okay.
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Okay.
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Cool.
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That, just that.
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Oh, I see it.
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Okay.
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Has quelled.
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Many, a panic attack for me.
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Help Me See is a podcast dedicated to the art of seeing.
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It's a space for the restless visionary with an insatiable desire to create the life and work you're meant for.
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My name is Bianca Lea Mora, and I'm a photographic artist, a mother, and a coach who's transformed my fear of loss into power, art, and philosophy.
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One of the scariest quotes I never want to say is, I wish I knew at the time, but I truly believe that we have the innate ability to bring our wise 2020 hindsight to our now.
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You can deeply experience your nostalgia now, while it's actually happening, with no regrets.
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All you have to do is see.
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In this show, we laugh, we cry, we get inspired, we overshare, we have life changing conversations around making meaning, self discovery, and shedding all the BS layers in order to reconnect to our own sacred vision.
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Seeing yourself is an essential key to living powerfully.
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You are the vessel, the lens that filters absolutely everything in your life.
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What are you filtering for? Whether it be conversations with fellow artists and visionaries, or my solo audio journal style introspective ramblings, each episode is meant to feel like an exhale, an unraveling of truth, a moment for you to be able to put your finger on something that you haven't been able to for far too long.
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Come exactly as you are.
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It's perfect.
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Honor your instincts.
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Let's uncover some of the most important things in our lives which all too often can slip out from our view.
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Let's commit to seeing and consciously creating what only you can in your one and only life.
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Let's dive in.
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Hello.
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Hello and welcome to another episode of helped me see.
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I am coming to you.
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In the morning again.
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Listen, I don't want to make a habit of this.
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I'm not exactly a morning person.
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And I'll wake up wanting to talk.
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But alas, here we are.
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That's just how life has been lately.
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I don't.
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I haven't had.
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Time and abundance and over abundance of time, I'm trying to.
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Um, integrate back in my life after a lot of travel and my kids.
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They want to like crawl inside of me.
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From their source.
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They want to go back to the womb.
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So I've been trying to give them.
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All the love and attention and.
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Finding nooks and crannies in my day, too.
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Do the things that are important to me as well.
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like this podcast.
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So it is 6 45 in the morning.
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And I'm coming to you because yesterday.
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Oh, wait, not yesterday.
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Sunday, Sunday.
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I had a panic attack.
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In yoga class.
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I laugh now.
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It was not funding in the moment.
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And, um, It's very, very rare that I begin a podcast episode knowing the title, like usually have absolutely no idea.
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Until I finish it and I'm like, Hmm, the gist was this.
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Or the most important part was this.
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But I was telling a friend about it.
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And just that sentence.
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So I had a panic attack in yoga class.
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That was like, okay.
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I think this is something to share with.
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You all because.
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I think.
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The root of, of that.
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I heard he is.
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How does that make sense? Like it's one of the most calming, peaceful places I could be.
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Why did I.
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I panic.
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First, let me just explain exactly.
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What went down and then I'm going to go into.
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How it was like deconstructing it in the shower for the next two days.
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I mean like what the fuck? What the fuck.
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It's so stupid because cognitively I understand what's going on.
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And there were things that happened that were so obvious about it.
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And yet.
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I still couldn't get myself.
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To, down-regulate I still was like that panic was like rising, rising, rising.
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I haven't had a panic attack in.
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Like.
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Years like.
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Yes, I have anxiety.
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And sometimes I, anxiety is like very flared up and sometimes it's very low level and whatever, but, um, this turned into a panic attack.
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Um, and for me, that, that means when it starts getting so.
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Out of control that I feel like.
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Something is going to happen or something like that.
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I was on my way to yoga class that morning.
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And I know logically that this is a problem, but it hasn't happened in so long.
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I took my, morning pill that I have to take.
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Uh, without water, just like swallowed it.
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And in the past that's given me like terrible heartburn and I.
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Didn't really think about it.
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I just thought, oh my gosh.
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Like the past two weeks I've been taking it, after breakfast and I really should be taking it before.
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And like, let me just do it now and get it out of the way.
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And I was running late out the door to go to yoga class because the kids were calling all over me and blah, blah, blah.
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So that's just how it happened.
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So I started getting like terrible, terrible heartburn.
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And.
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Alongside of that.
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I've had this for months now, like, like chest pains that have been.
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Making me nervous.
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Okay.
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And, you know, being like it's at the chicken or the egg, is it anxiety or, or not? Yada, yada yada.
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Anyway.
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So there's the base of that.
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And then the added separate.
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Heartburn situation.
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So now I'm laying down and it's the first time I've been still.
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And weeks, you know, with traveling and work and events and my kids.
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And they're just laying down the mat and the stillness.
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What's so triggering to me and.
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I did not want to be delaying there.
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I want it to be up doing something.
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Or being somewhere else.
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And then combine that with the heartburn I was feeling.
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That I knew was from what I knew it was from, but I still was like relating that back to like general chest pain and it freaked me out.
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And I just kept spiraling, spiraling.
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And I love.
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Love love, love my yoga teacher.
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Like to the point where.
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If she's not teaching, I might.
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Maybe I don't need to go.
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Like, I love her.
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And she does this like amazing.
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Beautiful dress.
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She was on the podcast before, um, Melanie.
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And she does this amazing job of.
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Weaving.
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Very loose.
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Suggestive instruction.
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Quote-unquote.
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With life and leading you deeper into yourself.
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And, how do you become more in tune with what it is that you really are feeling versus what everyone else is doing? And.
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Anyway, she's just incredible.
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Like every single class I'm like it.
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Makes me so wild that you're not recording this genius beautifulness that comes out of your mouth, just on the drop of a dime, like, oh my gosh.
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Anyway.
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So I'm sitting there panicking.
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In her work.
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Laying there panicking.
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And it's like every move.
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All class.
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It was like, okay, this next position.
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I'm just going to leave.
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I'm going to get up and leave.
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This next button.
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Okay.
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After this one, I'm just going to leave.
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And in talking to myself and.
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I just kept thinking, but w go, where am I going to go and be in the fetal position in the bathroom? Like what.
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What is there anywhere that's going to be better than here with like her deeply supportive voice.
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Like maybe I just ride this out here.
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And of course.
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She's taught.
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Like the thing she was saying was as if she knew it was happening and she did not.
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And she's talking about How hard stillness can be and blah, blah, blah, blah.
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Anyway, long story.
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Long.
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I don't do short, long story long, but abbreviated.
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The last five minutes of class, I felt like, okay, it's calming down.
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Okay.
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I'm starting to feel.
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Like, I'm not beat red and.
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My heart is starting to calm down a little bit.
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So then we go to put our mats away and I'm just so exhausted from the whole situation.
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That I scurry.
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Into the bathroom and just like try to collect myself.
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I was there with my partner's mom.,
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so I couldn't just like flea.
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I was like waiting.
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for her to finish and all that.
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And as I come out of the bathroom, she was talking to the yoga instructor and I, I chat with her all the time to, again, I love her so much.
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And.
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We were just.
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Exchanging pleasantries.
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And then.
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I just remember feeling like.
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I don't, I don't feel like it's, like, I don't feel like sharing or talking about the faculty just had a panic attack because I'm so exhausted.
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And I was like, I'm like, I have like a hangover from this right now.
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But also, it just felt so.
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Much more triggering and.
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Weird and to act like I was totally normal and fine.
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It felt like psychotic to me to be like, You know, Um, That was like, Yeah, I just had a panic attack.
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Like the whole class.
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It was so weird.
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And she was surprised, but then she had such beautiful wisdom for me that I wouldn't have.
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But I wouldn't have that opening.
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Had I not just been honest about what was going on for me.
199
00:12:02,270.4088895 --> 00:12:10,40.4088895
And also, I feel like when you put on that front and act like you're so much more okay than you are, it feels even more isolating.
200
00:12:11,210.4088895 --> 00:12:13,580.4088895
So I was very glad that I did just say that.
201
00:12:14,240.4088895 --> 00:12:16,160.4088895
And then, um, anyway, I.
202
00:12:17,570.4088895 --> 00:12:19,760.4088895
Talking about how triggering it can be to.
203
00:12:20,420.4088895 --> 00:12:26,450.4088895
To be still after so much movement after we like run away from ourselves and the busy-ness of life.
204
00:12:26,960.4088895 --> 00:12:31,510.4088895
And then, I shared something like super exciting, super exciting.
205
00:12:32,170.4088895 --> 00:12:34,960.4088895
That is happening for me.
206
00:12:35,340.4088895 --> 00:12:36,510.4088895
I'll share.
207
00:12:37,200.4088895 --> 00:12:38,310.4088895
Soon.
208
00:12:39,390.4088895 --> 00:12:40,740.4088895
I'll share soon with you.
209
00:12:40,860.4088895 --> 00:12:41,190.4088895
I don't know.
210
00:12:41,190.4088895 --> 00:12:42,300.4088895
I'm still processing.
211
00:12:43,320.4088895 --> 00:12:52,790.4088895
And, um, She said, you know, excitement and anxiety also function very similarly in the body.
212
00:12:53,390.4088895 --> 00:12:59,780.4088895
And, She just gave such helpful information and soothing words.
213
00:12:59,870.4088895 --> 00:13:01,10.4088895
And I was so glad that I.
214
00:13:01,800.4088895 --> 00:13:02,910.4088895
Share it and was honest.
215
00:13:03,390.4088895 --> 00:13:03,780.4088895
Okay.
216
00:13:04,320.4088895 --> 00:13:04,710.4088895
No.
217
00:13:05,300.4088895 --> 00:13:07,820.4088895
One of the reasons why.
218
00:13:09,290.4088895 --> 00:13:14,150.4088895
I'm sharing this with you is because I want to bring to the surface.
219
00:13:15,830.4088895 --> 00:13:16,670.4088895
The.
220
00:13:17,900.4088895 --> 00:13:20,180.4088895
Problem that occurs.
221
00:13:20,930.4088895 --> 00:13:21,980.4088895
When we use.
222
00:13:23,180.4088895 --> 00:13:24,530.4088895
Making sense.
223
00:13:25,640.4088895 --> 00:13:26,180.4088895
As.
224
00:13:26,810.4088895 --> 00:13:27,800.4088895
The pedestal.
225
00:13:28,190.4088895 --> 00:13:30,680.4088895
We're like, oh, but this doesn't make sense.
226
00:13:31,10.4088895 --> 00:13:34,310.4088895
I need, just to make sense, I feel like this, but it doesn't make sense.
227
00:13:35,600.4088895 --> 00:13:39,320.4088895
It doesn't make sense that I'm having a panic attack in yoga class.
228
00:13:40,550.4088895 --> 00:13:42,260.4088895
And then the snowball.
229
00:13:42,410.4088895 --> 00:13:43,10.4088895
Fuckers.
230
00:13:43,550.4088895 --> 00:13:45,590.4088895
And then we try to make it make sense.
231
00:13:47,360.4088895 --> 00:13:48,560.4088895
We take these.
232
00:13:49,420.4088895 --> 00:13:51,460.4088895
Very innocent.
233
00:13:52,130.4088895 --> 00:13:54,380.4088895
Rules of thumb logic.
234
00:13:55,490.4088895 --> 00:13:56,240.4088895
What have you.
235
00:13:56,900.4088895 --> 00:13:59,600.4088895
And use it as a weapon against ourselves.
236
00:14:01,400.4088895 --> 00:14:04,220.4088895
And makes everything worse.
237
00:14:06,320.4088895 --> 00:14:12,500.4088895
Having something make sense? Is not the end all be all of course, we're humans.
238
00:14:12,500.4088895 --> 00:14:15,410.4088895
Of course, we crave for things to make sense for us.
239
00:14:15,410.4088895 --> 00:14:16,130.4088895
And sometimes.
240
00:14:16,850.4088895 --> 00:14:21,890.4088895
We're more aware of how making sense to me doesn't make sense to someone else.
241
00:14:21,890.4088895 --> 00:14:22,790.4088895
And that's okay.
242
00:14:23,120.4088895 --> 00:14:26,720.4088895
But sometimes we forget that very important fact.
243
00:14:27,350.4088895 --> 00:14:28,310.4088895
Sometimes.
244
00:14:30,770.4088895 --> 00:14:37,310.4088895
We're feeling the need to justify and contort our life choices in a way that makes sense to others.
245
00:14:37,820.4088895 --> 00:14:39,110.4088895
And that is not helpful.
246
00:14:40,70.4088895 --> 00:14:41,990.4088895
And that in itself doesn't make sense.
247
00:14:43,760.4088895 --> 00:14:44,480.4088895
Oh, God, he's scared.
248
00:14:44,540.4088895 --> 00:14:46,850.4088895
Scared me so much, Cassius.
249
00:14:47,810.4088895 --> 00:14:48,530.4088895
Kashi.
250
00:14:48,740.4088895 --> 00:14:49,400.4088895
Oh my gosh.
251
00:14:49,430.4088895 --> 00:14:51,230.4088895
Why are you doing? Oh my God.
252
00:14:51,560.4088895 --> 00:14:51,770.4088895
Oh.
253
00:14:53,480.4088895 --> 00:14:54,290.4088895
Oh, okay.
254
00:14:55,10.4088895 --> 00:14:55,760.4088895
Let me see buddy.
255
00:14:56,960.4088895 --> 00:14:58,820.4088895
Oh, my God, you scared me so much.
256
00:14:58,850.4088895 --> 00:15:00,50.4088895
Don't do that.
257
00:15:00,980.4088895 --> 00:15:01,700.4088895
Don't do that.
258
00:15:02,720.4088895 --> 00:15:03,680.4088895
You scared me it.
259
00:15:06,50.4088895 --> 00:15:06,680.4088895
I'm recording.
260
00:15:08,570.4088895 --> 00:15:10,220.4088895
Well just watching you work.
261
00:15:10,880.4088895 --> 00:15:11,570.4088895
Oh, yeah.
262
00:15:11,600.4088895 --> 00:15:12,20.4088895
Yeah.
263
00:15:12,290.4088895 --> 00:15:12,410.4088895
So.
264
00:15:12,500.4088895 --> 00:15:13,40.4088895
I was so.
265
00:15:19,160.4088895 --> 00:15:21,980.4088895
Oh, you want to put your headphones on now too? Hold on a second.
266
00:15:22,190.4088895 --> 00:15:22,460.4088895
Yeah.
267
00:15:22,760.4088895 --> 00:15:23,180.4088895
Okay.
268
00:15:23,240.4088895 --> 00:15:24,800.4088895
You know where they are, they're in your backpack.
269
00:15:24,830.4088895 --> 00:15:31,40.4088895
Let me see what you drew, who is this? Is it Zimbler running.
270
00:15:31,610.4088895 --> 00:15:32,120.4088895
Yeah.
271
00:15:32,780.4088895 --> 00:15:34,100.4088895
Oh, my gosh.
272
00:15:34,640.4088895 --> 00:15:40,460.4088895
Okay, you want to, are you going to continue to draw more upstairs? You're going to put your headphones on, like mommy has hers on.
273
00:15:40,510.4088895 --> 00:15:41,740.4088895
Mommy has to finish recording.
274
00:15:41,740.4088895 --> 00:15:48,970.4088895
Do you want to say hi to everyone in the microphone? I want to say hi.
275
00:15:51,850.4088895 --> 00:15:52,330.4088895
Don't touch.
276
00:15:52,360.4088895 --> 00:15:52,960.4088895
The microphone.
277
00:15:52,990.4088895 --> 00:15:53,740.4088895
Cause that makes noise.
278
00:15:54,190.4088895 --> 00:15:57,280.4088895
This is just the sound and then mommy uploads it.
279
00:15:57,280.4088895 --> 00:15:58,750.4088895
And some people listen to it.
280
00:15:59,380.4088895 --> 00:16:00,10.4088895
Can you say.
281
00:16:00,370.4088895 --> 00:16:00,970.4088895
Can you say.
282
00:16:01,240.4088895 --> 00:16:02,830.4088895
Welcome to help me see.
283
00:16:07,300.4088895 --> 00:16:07,570.4088895
Okay.
284
00:16:07,570.4088895 --> 00:16:08,590.4088895
We don't touch the mic.
285
00:16:08,920.4088895 --> 00:16:09,730.4088895
Let's do it again.
286
00:16:10,0.4088895 --> 00:16:12,820.4088895
Say welcome to another episode of help me see.
287
00:16:13,600.4088895 --> 00:16:14,110.4088895
Hold on.
288
00:16:18,620.4088895 --> 00:16:22,70.4088895
Say well with our host, Mami and Cassius.
289
00:16:24,500.4088895 --> 00:16:25,850.4088895
It's a one week camp.
290
00:16:31,70.4088895 --> 00:16:32,240.4088895
This is my show.
291
00:16:38,180.4088895 --> 00:16:39,170.4088895
Okay, listen.
292
00:16:39,560.4088895 --> 00:16:40,700.4088895
Mommy has to finish working.
293
00:16:40,700.4088895 --> 00:16:43,610.4088895
Can you take this upstairs? Okay.
294
00:16:43,790.4088895 --> 00:16:44,900.4088895
And close the door, please.
295
00:16:45,870.4088895 --> 00:16:51,30.4088895
So I'm recording in darkness in the basement and he's just like slithers down.
296
00:16:51,30.4088895 --> 00:16:56,670.4088895
Doesn't turn on the light and crawls behind me and scares the bejesus out of me.
297
00:16:59,460.4088895 --> 00:17:01,680.4088895
Oh my God, um, side.
298
00:17:01,680.4088895 --> 00:17:02,100.4088895
No.
299
00:17:02,730.4088895 --> 00:17:07,380.4088895
Uh, I've been trying to help him focus more in school and in general.
300
00:17:07,380.4088895 --> 00:17:09,600.4088895
So I got him these like noise canceling headphones.
301
00:17:09,960.4088895 --> 00:17:12,360.4088895
No, no, you can't like plug it into anything.
302
00:17:12,360.4088895 --> 00:17:14,400.4088895
Just like what kids use at concerts.
303
00:17:14,990.4088895 --> 00:17:21,50.4088895
And he loves seeing when mommy has her headphones on, because I think he's like, oh yeah, I have to focus to.
304
00:17:21,140.4088895 --> 00:17:22,220.4088895
I have my headphones on.
305
00:17:23,60.4088895 --> 00:17:25,10.4088895
Uh, so that's really, really, really sweet.
306
00:17:28,610.4088895 --> 00:17:29,90.4088895
Kashi.
307
00:17:29,90.4088895 --> 00:17:31,520.4088895
Mommy told you I'm finishing my, my word.
308
00:17:31,800.4088895 --> 00:17:36,900.4088895
You want to work down here too? Okay, listen, buddy.
309
00:17:37,470.4088895 --> 00:17:40,380.4088895
That you have to be very quiet cause mommy's recording something.
310
00:17:40,380.4088895 --> 00:17:40,920.4088895
Okay.
311
00:17:41,580.4088895 --> 00:17:44,670.4088895
Do you understand? Yeah.
312
00:17:44,910.4088895 --> 00:17:45,390.4088895
I know.
313
00:17:46,700.4088895 --> 00:17:47,150.4088895
Okay.
314
00:17:47,270.4088895 --> 00:17:50,540.4088895
So there's about to be some background noise.
315
00:17:51,380.4088895 --> 00:17:53,930.4088895
I guess now he's down here working because he wants to work next to me.
316
00:17:54,470.4088895 --> 00:17:55,310.4088895
Super sweet.
317
00:17:55,430.4088895 --> 00:17:56,180.4088895
And also.
318
00:17:59,840.4088895 --> 00:18:01,910.4088895
I've passed a version of myself.
319
00:18:01,940.4088895 --> 00:18:07,280.4088895
I would probably be throwing a tantrum inside right now and now I am.
320
00:18:08,120.4088895 --> 00:18:09,230.4088895
Not that I'm beyond it.
321
00:18:09,560.4088895 --> 00:18:10,940.4088895
I still throw tantrums.
322
00:18:11,10.4088895 --> 00:18:11,670.4088895
but.
323
00:18:12,360.4088895 --> 00:18:13,590.4088895
I am.
324
00:18:14,460.4088895 --> 00:18:16,770.4088895
Right now, a little more centered, I think.
325
00:18:16,950.4088895 --> 00:18:17,580.4088895
And.
326
00:18:18,780.4088895 --> 00:18:20,160.4088895
Just letting it be okay.
327
00:18:22,680.4088895 --> 00:18:24,240.4088895
What the fuck was I saying.
328
00:18:24,670.4088895 --> 00:18:25,630.4088895
Last I remember.
329
00:18:26,560.4088895 --> 00:18:27,880.4088895
Weapon against ourselves.
330
00:18:28,690.4088895 --> 00:18:30,490.4088895
Like it must make sense.
331
00:18:30,550.4088895 --> 00:18:31,420.4088895
Make it make sense.
332
00:18:32,470.4088895 --> 00:18:33,340.4088895
I remember.
333
00:18:33,850.4088895 --> 00:18:41,80.4088895
The reason my panic attacks would spiral out of control so much when I was getting them regularly, like years ago.
334
00:18:41,80.4088895 --> 00:18:47,590.4088895
I was because I would start feeling like this doesn't make sense.
335
00:18:48,550.4088895 --> 00:18:51,340.4088895
I am with someone that I'm totally comfortable with.
336
00:18:51,880.4088895 --> 00:18:58,480.4088895
I'm really enjoying, like I quote unquote, enjoy this, like the activity we're doing, where we are.
337
00:18:58,630.4088895 --> 00:19:01,90.4088895
Um, the food is yummy, whatever it was.
338
00:19:01,540.4088895 --> 00:19:04,630.4088895
And yet I'm starting to panic and I just kept thinking this doesn't make sense.
339
00:19:04,630.4088895 --> 00:19:07,90.4088895
Why am I feeling this? Why am I feeling like this? Doesn't make sense.
340
00:19:09,360.4088895 --> 00:19:16,560.4088895
that's why discovering the HSP, highly sensitive person and becoming more aware of my sensitive nervous system.
341
00:19:16,950.4088895 --> 00:19:17,610.4088895
And.
342
00:19:18,240.4088895 --> 00:19:20,400.4088895
Making sense to myself.
343
00:19:20,760.4088895 --> 00:19:21,450.4088895
And that way.
344
00:19:21,840.4088895 --> 00:19:22,410.4088895
Has like.
345
00:19:23,220.4088895 --> 00:19:34,410.4088895
Really, really significantly helped the escalation usually, um, in my anxiety to panic, because It makes more sense to me and I'm aware of it.
346
00:19:34,440.4088895 --> 00:19:36,930.4088895
And I have like a greater bandwidth for.
347
00:19:37,740.4088895 --> 00:19:41,810.4088895
So it's like these innocent things of finding ways that make sense.
348
00:19:42,650.4088895 --> 00:19:48,280.4088895
Or, Oh, another one that I was just talking to a friend about doing the reps.
349
00:19:50,50.4088895 --> 00:19:50,680.4088895
It's like.
350
00:19:51,400.4088895 --> 00:19:52,780.4088895
We all have heard.
351
00:19:53,200.4088895 --> 00:20:00,730.4088895
Whatever your chosen thing of work is or whatever in life it's like, I'll just do the reps, do the reps like it over and over again.
352
00:20:00,730.4088895 --> 00:20:02,830.4088895
Practice, practice, practice, whatever it is.
353
00:20:03,300.4088895 --> 00:20:13,420.4088895
chose, you know, commitment and, and that's the only way that, mastery comes and, whatever, like we all have heard do the, doing the reps.
354
00:20:14,710.4088895 --> 00:20:15,370.4088895
And.
355
00:20:16,210.4088895 --> 00:20:17,680.4088895
It is very true.
356
00:20:18,550.4088895 --> 00:20:22,960.4088895
And also that doesn't have to be a prerequisite for.
357
00:20:23,980.4088895 --> 00:20:25,900.4088895
Creating something of value.
358
00:20:30,130.4088895 --> 00:20:31,0.4088895
What's the matter.
359
00:20:31,540.4088895 --> 00:20:32,950.4088895
Oh, asylee.
360
00:20:41,860.4088895 --> 00:20:43,420.4088895
Hi buddy.
361
00:20:44,260.4088895 --> 00:20:47,150.4088895
Did you wake up? Good morning.
362
00:20:47,870.4088895 --> 00:20:52,20.4088895
Let me see I love you.
363
00:20:54,540.4088895 --> 00:20:55,770.4088895
Did you sleep? Okay.
364
00:20:57,360.4088895 --> 00:20:57,840.4088895
Yeah.
365
00:20:58,410.4088895 --> 00:21:00,210.4088895
You woke up and you're looking for me.
366
00:21:01,680.4088895 --> 00:21:04,890.4088895
You found me? Here I am.
367
00:21:07,590.4088895 --> 00:21:08,10.4088895
Okay.
368
00:21:10,260.4088895 --> 00:21:13,110.4088895
This podcast episode is about to end.
369
00:21:14,310.4088895 --> 00:21:14,940.4088895
I'm going to wrap.
370
00:21:15,420.4088895 --> 00:21:16,50.4088895
But.
371
00:21:16,50.4088895 --> 00:21:18,720.4088895
The main thing I wanted to address is that.
372
00:21:19,770.4088895 --> 00:21:21,60.4088895
These insidious things.
373
00:21:23,310.4088895 --> 00:21:26,220.4088895
That are innocent enough and are true enough.
374
00:21:26,910.4088895 --> 00:21:30,480.4088895
You know, Whatever makes sense to you.
375
00:21:30,900.4088895 --> 00:21:32,40.4088895
Do the reps.
376
00:21:32,340.4088895 --> 00:21:33,480.4088895
Oh gratitude.
377
00:21:33,510.4088895 --> 00:21:34,200.4088895
That's another one.
378
00:21:34,200.4088895 --> 00:21:38,730.4088895
Being grateful and then we take them and white knuckle them.
379
00:21:39,930.4088895 --> 00:21:42,150.4088895
And use them as a weapon against ourselves.
380
00:21:42,990.4088895 --> 00:21:55,80.4088895
And use them as the thing that is like, oh, I'm not worthy until I do a trillion reps or I can't possibly be creating something of value to someone else unless I've done it a million times or.
381
00:21:55,590.4088895 --> 00:21:59,970.4088895
Um, I can't do it unless I can find a way for it to make sense.
382
00:22:00,600.4088895 --> 00:22:05,850.4088895
Or, uh, No, I'm not.
383
00:22:06,810.4088895 --> 00:22:10,170.4088895
He knows the fact that I'm frustrated means that I'm ungrateful.
384
00:22:10,500.4088895 --> 00:22:12,480.4088895
And that's wrong and blah, blah, blah.
385
00:22:12,720.4088895 --> 00:22:19,140.4088895
Like let's just let, can we hold it loosely? Can we hold it all loosely and remain aware of.
386
00:22:19,530.4088895 --> 00:22:21,90.4088895
The things in which.
387
00:22:21,790.4088895 --> 00:22:26,840.4088895
Start to turn from a guiding post and something that's helpful to something that is actually.
388
00:22:27,260.4088895 --> 00:22:28,940.4088895
We're using as a.
389
00:22:30,200.4088895 --> 00:22:33,290.4088895
Crutch or as a weapon or as a, whatever it is.
390
00:22:33,820.4088895 --> 00:22:35,170.4088895
Um, Yeah, buddy.
391
00:22:35,170.4088895 --> 00:22:36,700.4088895
Can you say, thanks for tuning in.
392
00:22:38,900.4088895 --> 00:22:39,470.4088895
Hi.
393
00:22:40,160.4088895 --> 00:22:41,270.4088895
Thanks for tuning in.
394
00:22:42,860.4088895 --> 00:22:43,460.4088895
And.
395
00:22:43,970.4088895 --> 00:22:44,750.4088895
Thanks for tuning.
396
00:22:44,960.4088895 --> 00:22:46,10.4088895
Thank you for the end.
397
00:22:46,10.4088895 --> 00:22:47,840.4088895
You don't put your spit on the microphone.
398
00:22:48,470.4088895 --> 00:22:48,800.4088895
Yeah.
399
00:22:48,830.4088895 --> 00:22:49,190.4088895
Okay.
400
00:22:49,860.4088895 --> 00:22:55,620.4088895
Well, If we were on the phone together, this would be exactly what it would sound like.
401
00:22:55,650.4088895 --> 00:22:56,670.4088895
So.
402
00:22:59,460.4088895 --> 00:23:00,390.4088895
Here it is.
403
00:23:01,60.4088895 --> 00:23:02,470.4088895
So I'll leave you with.
404
00:23:04,60.4088895 --> 00:23:09,340.4088895
What in your life? I Larry, I love you caches.
405
00:23:11,0.4088895 --> 00:23:11,870.4088895
I'm sorry, buddy.
406
00:23:11,870.4088895 --> 00:23:12,950.4088895
I just need to finish.
407
00:23:15,890.4088895 --> 00:23:16,130.4088895
Sorry.
408
00:23:19,640.4088895 --> 00:23:28,400.4088895
What in your life? Are you doing that? Make sense.
409
00:23:29,480.4088895 --> 00:23:30,590.4088895
But not in a good way.
410
00:23:33,380.4088895 --> 00:23:43,130.4088895
What are you? What in your life are you making conditional with being worthy? Like I'll be worthy when I.
411
00:23:43,640.4088895 --> 00:23:47,930.4088895
You know, what are your reps? Like once I do this, then I can.
412
00:23:48,530.4088895 --> 00:23:51,200.4088895
Relax, then I can enjoy, then I can.
413
00:23:51,710.4088895 --> 00:23:59,180.4088895
Feel accomplished? What is that? What is that? What is that? And don't, I'm an even.
414
00:24:00,260.4088895 --> 00:24:03,500.4088895
I won't even make it to triggering us to say.
415
00:24:04,460.4088895 --> 00:24:07,730.4088895
Oh, You know, Release it, let it go.
416
00:24:08,510.4088895 --> 00:24:09,200.4088895
Just see it.
417
00:24:10,220.4088895 --> 00:24:11,180.4088895
Helped me see right.
418
00:24:11,390.4088895 --> 00:24:12,170.4088895
Just see it.
419
00:24:13,610.4088895 --> 00:24:15,650.4088895
Don't put the pressure on yourself to release it.
420
00:24:15,980.4088895 --> 00:24:17,120.4088895
And to change your life.
421
00:24:17,480.4088895 --> 00:24:20,480.4088895
Just be like, oh, I'm doing that there.
422
00:24:20,600.4088895 --> 00:24:21,680.4088895
Oh, okay.
423
00:24:22,40.4088895 --> 00:24:22,490.4088895
Okay.
424
00:24:23,180.4088895 --> 00:24:23,510.4088895
Cool.
425
00:24:24,380.4088895 --> 00:24:25,730.4088895
That, just that.
426
00:24:26,390.4088895 --> 00:24:27,170.4088895
Oh, I see it.
427
00:24:27,380.4088895 --> 00:24:27,920.4088895
Okay.
428
00:24:29,120.4088895 --> 00:24:29,810.4088895
Has quelled.
429
00:24:30,80.4088895 --> 00:24:31,310.4088895
Many, a panic attack for me.
430
00:24:33,620.4088895 --> 00:24:34,70.4088895
Okay.
431
00:24:35,0.4088895 --> 00:24:36,50.4088895
Say hi, Sally.
432
00:24:36,320.4088895 --> 00:24:37,670.4088895
Hi.
433
00:24:39,140.4088895 --> 00:24:40,610.4088895
Can you say, thanks for listening.
434
00:24:40,820.4088895 --> 00:24:41,750.4088895
Is through.
435
00:24:42,140.4088895 --> 00:24:44,630.4088895
I didn't say have a good day.
436
00:24:47,30.4088895 --> 00:24:48,110.4088895
Yeah, I love you.
437
00:24:53,0.4088895 --> 00:24:53,450.4088895
Okay.
438
00:24:53,510.4088895 --> 00:24:54,680.4088895
I got to go make them breakfast.
439
00:24:56,450.4088895 --> 00:24:57,710.4088895
Thank you for tuning in.
440
00:24:57,740.4088895 --> 00:24:58,940.4088895
I will catch you next time.
441
00:24:59,969.2524269 --> 00:25:03,189.2524269
This has been an Awkward Sage Production.
00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:04,960
What in your life? Are you doing that? Make sense.
2
00:00:06,39.9999999999 --> 00:00:07,149.9999999998
But not in a good way.
3
00:00:07,149.9999999998 --> 00:00:10,390
I won't even make it to triggering us to say.
4
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:12,110
Release it, let it go.
5
00:00:12,890 --> 00:00:13,580
Just see it.
6
00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:15,560
Helped me see right.
7
00:00:15,770 --> 00:00:16,550
Just see it.
8
00:00:17,990 --> 00:00:20,030
Don't put the pressure on yourself to release it.
9
00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:21,500
And to change your life.
10
00:00:21,860 --> 00:00:24,860
Just be like, oh, I'm doing that there.
11
00:00:24,980 --> 00:00:26,060
Oh, okay.
12
00:00:26,419.999999999 --> 00:00:26,869.999999999
Okay.
13
00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:27,890
Cool.
14
00:00:28,760 --> 00:00:30,110
That, just that.
15
00:00:30,770 --> 00:00:31,550
Oh, I see it.
16
00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:32,300
Okay.
17
00:00:33,500 --> 00:00:34,190
Has quelled.
18
00:00:34,460 --> 00:00:35,690
Many, a panic attack for me.
19
00:00:39,877.075556168 --> 00:00:43,857.075556168
Help Me See is a podcast dedicated to the art of seeing.
20
00:00:44,497.075556168 --> 00:00:51,187.075556168
It's a space for the restless visionary with an insatiable desire to create the life and work you're meant for.
21
00:00:52,162.075556168 --> 00:01:01,282.075556168
My name is Bianca Lea Mora, and I'm a photographic artist, a mother, and a coach who's transformed my fear of loss into power, art, and philosophy.
22
00:01:01,552.075556168 --> 00:01:14,712.075556168
One of the scariest quotes I never want to say is, I wish I knew at the time, but I truly believe that we have the innate ability to bring our wise 2020 hindsight to our now.
23
00:01:15,612.075556168 --> 00:01:22,852.074556168
You can deeply experience your nostalgia now, while it's actually happening, with no regrets.
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00:01:23,952.075556168 --> 00:01:25,282.075556168
All you have to do is see.
25
00:01:26,382.075556168 --> 00:01:42,232.07555617
In this show, we laugh, we cry, we get inspired, we overshare, we have life changing conversations around making meaning, self discovery, and shedding all the BS layers in order to reconnect to our own sacred vision.
26
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Seeing yourself is an essential key to living powerfully.
27
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You are the vessel, the lens that filters absolutely everything in your life.
28
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What are you filtering for? Whether it be conversations with fellow artists and visionaries, or my solo audio journal style introspective ramblings, each episode is meant to feel like an exhale, an unraveling of truth, a moment for you to be able to put your finger on something that you haven't been able to for far too long.
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Come exactly as you are.
30
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It's perfect.
31
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Honor your instincts.
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Let's uncover some of the most important things in our lives which all too often can slip out from our view.
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Let's commit to seeing and consciously creating what only you can in your one and only life.
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Let's dive in.
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00:02:38,760.4088895 --> 00:02:39,90.4088895
Hello.
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Hello and welcome to another episode of helped me see.
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I am coming to you.
38
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In the morning again.
39
00:02:48,330.4088895 --> 00:02:50,250.4088895
Listen, I don't want to make a habit of this.
40
00:02:50,310.4088895 --> 00:02:52,560.4088895
I'm not exactly a morning person.
41
00:02:53,220.4088895 --> 00:02:54,750.4088895
And I'll wake up wanting to talk.
42
00:02:59,430.4088895 --> 00:03:01,80.4088895
But alas, here we are.
43
00:03:02,400.4088895 --> 00:03:04,320.4088895
That's just how life has been lately.
44
00:03:04,500.4088895 --> 00:03:04,860.4088895
I don't.
45
00:03:05,940.4088895 --> 00:03:07,170.4088895
I haven't had.
46
00:03:09,210.4088895 --> 00:03:13,500.4088895
Time and abundance and over abundance of time, I'm trying to.
47
00:03:14,550.4088895 --> 00:03:18,900.4088895
Um, integrate back in my life after a lot of travel and my kids.
48
00:03:19,710.4088895 --> 00:03:21,840.4088895
They want to like crawl inside of me.
49
00:03:23,940.4088895 --> 00:03:25,50.4088895
From their source.
50
00:03:25,170.4088895 --> 00:03:26,820.4088895
They want to go back to the womb.
51
00:03:29,230.4088895 --> 00:03:30,850.4088895
So I've been trying to give them.
52
00:03:31,390.4088895 --> 00:03:33,400.4088895
All the love and attention and.
53
00:03:34,120.4088895 --> 00:03:36,850.4088895
Finding nooks and crannies in my day, too.
54
00:03:37,870.4088895 --> 00:03:40,510.4088895
Do the things that are important to me as well.
55
00:03:41,280.4088895 --> 00:03:42,270.4088895
like this podcast.
56
00:03:43,380.4088895 --> 00:03:46,50.4088895
So it is 6 45 in the morning.
57
00:03:47,280.4088895 --> 00:03:49,770.4088895
And I'm coming to you because yesterday.
58
00:03:49,950.4088895 --> 00:03:50,970.4088895
Oh, wait, not yesterday.
59
00:03:51,90.4088895 --> 00:03:52,470.4088895
Sunday, Sunday.
60
00:03:53,610.4088895 --> 00:03:54,960.4088895
I had a panic attack.
61
00:03:56,100.4088895 --> 00:03:57,510.4088895
In yoga class.
62
00:04:01,350.4088895 --> 00:04:02,340.4088895
I laugh now.
63
00:04:02,460.4088895 --> 00:04:04,650.4088895
It was not funding in the moment.
64
00:04:06,30.4088895 --> 00:04:16,290.4088895
And, um, It's very, very rare that I begin a podcast episode knowing the title, like usually have absolutely no idea.
65
00:04:16,890.4088895 --> 00:04:20,190.4088895
Until I finish it and I'm like, Hmm, the gist was this.
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00:04:20,190.4088895 --> 00:04:21,660.4088895
Or the most important part was this.
67
00:04:22,200.4088895 --> 00:04:23,790.4088895
But I was telling a friend about it.
68
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And just that sentence.
69
00:04:29,250.4088895 --> 00:04:32,310.4088895
So I had a panic attack in yoga class.
70
00:04:35,10.4088895 --> 00:04:36,30.4088895
That was like, okay.
71
00:04:36,60.4088895 --> 00:04:38,490.4088895
I think this is something to share with.
72
00:04:39,140.4088895 --> 00:04:40,730.4088895
You all because.
73
00:04:41,330.4088895 --> 00:04:41,930.4088895
I think.
74
00:04:43,160.4088895 --> 00:04:46,220.4088895
The root of, of that.
75
00:04:47,300.4088895 --> 00:04:48,920.4088895
I heard he is.
76
00:04:49,430.4088895 --> 00:04:57,20.4088895
How does that make sense? Like it's one of the most calming, peaceful places I could be.
77
00:04:58,190.4088895 --> 00:04:59,720.4088895
Why did I.
78
00:04:59,720.4088895 --> 00:05:01,70.4088895
I panic.
79
00:05:02,850.4088895 --> 00:05:04,950.4088895
First, let me just explain exactly.
80
00:05:05,550.4088895 --> 00:05:09,480.4088895
What went down and then I'm going to go into.
81
00:05:10,150.4088895 --> 00:05:14,290.4088895
How it was like deconstructing it in the shower for the next two days.
82
00:05:14,320.4088895 --> 00:05:17,80.4088895
I mean like what the fuck? What the fuck.
83
00:05:20,180.4088895 --> 00:05:26,150.4088895
It's so stupid because cognitively I understand what's going on.
84
00:05:26,660.4088895 --> 00:05:31,460.4088895
And there were things that happened that were so obvious about it.
85
00:05:31,520.4088895 --> 00:05:32,150.4088895
And yet.
86
00:05:32,630.4088895 --> 00:05:35,450.4088895
I still couldn't get myself.
87
00:05:36,590.4088895 --> 00:05:41,940.4088895
To, down-regulate I still was like that panic was like rising, rising, rising.
88
00:05:42,590.4088895 --> 00:05:44,930.4088895
I haven't had a panic attack in.
89
00:05:46,400.4088895 --> 00:05:47,90.4088895
Like.
90
00:05:48,170.4088895 --> 00:05:49,280.4088895
Years like.
91
00:05:49,910.4088895 --> 00:05:51,560.4088895
Yes, I have anxiety.
92
00:05:51,950.4088895 --> 00:06:01,250.4088895
And sometimes I, anxiety is like very flared up and sometimes it's very low level and whatever, but, um, this turned into a panic attack.
93
00:06:01,700.4088895 --> 00:06:06,230.4088895
Um, and for me, that, that means when it starts getting so.
94
00:06:06,950.4088895 --> 00:06:09,650.4088895
Out of control that I feel like.
95
00:06:10,280.4088895 --> 00:06:13,190.4088895
Something is going to happen or something like that.
96
00:06:13,240.4088895 --> 00:06:15,100.4088895
I was on my way to yoga class that morning.
97
00:06:15,130.4088895 --> 00:06:22,360.4088895
And I know logically that this is a problem, but it hasn't happened in so long.
98
00:06:23,560.4088895 --> 00:06:27,330.4088895
I took my, morning pill that I have to take.
99
00:06:27,720.4088895 --> 00:06:30,240.4088895
Uh, without water, just like swallowed it.
100
00:06:30,630.4088895 --> 00:06:35,280.4088895
And in the past that's given me like terrible heartburn and I.
101
00:06:36,0.4088895 --> 00:06:37,200.4088895
Didn't really think about it.
102
00:06:37,230.4088895 --> 00:06:38,490.4088895
I just thought, oh my gosh.
103
00:06:38,520.4088895 --> 00:06:44,90.4088895
Like the past two weeks I've been taking it, after breakfast and I really should be taking it before.
104
00:06:44,120.4088895 --> 00:06:46,850.4088895
And like, let me just do it now and get it out of the way.
105
00:06:47,840.4088895 --> 00:06:53,90.4088895
And I was running late out the door to go to yoga class because the kids were calling all over me and blah, blah, blah.
106
00:06:53,810.4088895 --> 00:06:55,340.4088895
So that's just how it happened.
107
00:06:58,280.4088895 --> 00:07:00,890.4088895
So I started getting like terrible, terrible heartburn.
108
00:07:01,970.4088895 --> 00:07:02,660.4088895
And.
109
00:07:03,830.4088895 --> 00:07:05,390.4088895
Alongside of that.
110
00:07:05,870.4088895 --> 00:07:10,790.4088895
I've had this for months now, like, like chest pains that have been.
111
00:07:11,570.4088895 --> 00:07:12,470.4088895
Making me nervous.
112
00:07:12,560.4088895 --> 00:07:12,980.4088895
Okay.
113
00:07:13,970.4088895 --> 00:07:20,0.4088895
And, you know, being like it's at the chicken or the egg, is it anxiety or, or not? Yada, yada yada.
114
00:07:20,180.4088895 --> 00:07:20,540.4088895
Anyway.
115
00:07:21,680.4088895 --> 00:07:23,690.4088895
So there's the base of that.
116
00:07:24,20.4088895 --> 00:07:26,330.4088895
And then the added separate.
117
00:07:27,560.4088895 --> 00:07:28,730.4088895
Heartburn situation.
118
00:07:28,760.4088895 --> 00:07:32,30.4088895
So now I'm laying down and it's the first time I've been still.
119
00:07:32,900.4088895 --> 00:07:39,840.4088895
And weeks, you know, with traveling and work and events and my kids.
120
00:07:40,590.4088895 --> 00:07:43,50.4088895
And they're just laying down the mat and the stillness.
121
00:07:43,710.4088895 --> 00:07:45,480.4088895
What's so triggering to me and.
122
00:07:46,110.4088895 --> 00:07:47,850.4088895
I did not want to be delaying there.
123
00:07:48,330.4088895 --> 00:07:49,800.4088895
I want it to be up doing something.
124
00:07:50,370.4088895 --> 00:07:51,990.4088895
Or being somewhere else.
125
00:07:52,110.4088895 --> 00:07:56,250.4088895
And then combine that with the heartburn I was feeling.
126
00:07:57,270.4088895 --> 00:08:05,460.4088895
That I knew was from what I knew it was from, but I still was like relating that back to like general chest pain and it freaked me out.
127
00:08:07,260.4088895 --> 00:08:10,560.4088895
And I just kept spiraling, spiraling.
128
00:08:11,70.4088895 --> 00:08:12,450.4088895
And I love.
129
00:08:12,720.4088895 --> 00:08:15,660.4088895
Love love, love my yoga teacher.
130
00:08:15,690.4088895 --> 00:08:16,830.4088895
Like to the point where.
131
00:08:17,610.4088895 --> 00:08:20,40.4088895
If she's not teaching, I might.
132
00:08:21,150.4088895 --> 00:08:22,290.4088895
Maybe I don't need to go.
133
00:08:22,320.4088895 --> 00:08:23,760.4088895
Like, I love her.
134
00:08:24,150.4088895 --> 00:08:26,220.4088895
And she does this like amazing.
135
00:08:26,460.4088895 --> 00:08:27,120.4088895
Beautiful dress.
136
00:08:27,150.4088895 --> 00:08:30,360.4088895
She was on the podcast before, um, Melanie.
137
00:08:30,420.4088895 --> 00:08:32,820.4088895
And she does this amazing job of.
138
00:08:33,540.4088895 --> 00:08:34,500.4088895
Weaving.
139
00:08:35,400.4088895 --> 00:08:37,20.4088895
Very loose.
140
00:08:37,440.4088895 --> 00:08:39,900.4088895
Suggestive instruction.
141
00:08:39,930.4088895 --> 00:08:40,620.4088895
Quote-unquote.
142
00:08:41,400.4088895 --> 00:08:44,500.4088895
With life and leading you deeper into yourself.
143
00:08:44,530.4088895 --> 00:08:51,740.4088895
And, how do you become more in tune with what it is that you really are feeling versus what everyone else is doing? And.
144
00:08:52,250.4088895 --> 00:08:54,110.4088895
Anyway, she's just incredible.
145
00:08:54,110.4088895 --> 00:08:56,240.4088895
Like every single class I'm like it.
146
00:08:57,20.4088895 --> 00:09:06,470.4088895
Makes me so wild that you're not recording this genius beautifulness that comes out of your mouth, just on the drop of a dime, like, oh my gosh.
147
00:09:07,400.4088895 --> 00:09:07,820.4088895
Anyway.
148
00:09:08,150.4088895 --> 00:09:09,830.4088895
So I'm sitting there panicking.
149
00:09:10,730.4088895 --> 00:09:11,270.4088895
In her work.
150
00:09:12,230.4088895 --> 00:09:13,370.4088895
Laying there panicking.
151
00:09:14,0.4088895 --> 00:09:16,550.4088895
And it's like every move.
152
00:09:16,910.4088895 --> 00:09:17,930.4088895
All class.
153
00:09:18,800.4088895 --> 00:09:20,540.4088895
It was like, okay, this next position.
154
00:09:21,80.4088895 --> 00:09:21,770.4088895
I'm just going to leave.
155
00:09:21,950.4088895 --> 00:09:22,640.4088895
I'm going to get up and leave.
156
00:09:23,360.4088895 --> 00:09:23,960.4088895
This next button.
157
00:09:23,960.4088895 --> 00:09:24,320.4088895
Okay.
158
00:09:24,500.4088895 --> 00:09:25,880.4088895
After this one, I'm just going to leave.
159
00:09:27,50.4088895 --> 00:09:29,540.4088895
And in talking to myself and.
160
00:09:30,410.4088895 --> 00:09:37,160.4088895
I just kept thinking, but w go, where am I going to go and be in the fetal position in the bathroom? Like what.
161
00:09:37,640.4088895 --> 00:09:44,420.4088895
What is there anywhere that's going to be better than here with like her deeply supportive voice.
162
00:09:47,300.4088895 --> 00:09:49,550.4088895
Like maybe I just ride this out here.
163
00:09:51,330.4088895 --> 00:09:52,350.4088895
And of course.
164
00:09:53,340.4088895 --> 00:09:54,300.4088895
She's taught.
165
00:09:54,330.4088895 --> 00:09:58,20.4088895
Like the thing she was saying was as if she knew it was happening and she did not.
166
00:09:58,890.4088895 --> 00:10:04,680.4088895
And she's talking about How hard stillness can be and blah, blah, blah, blah.
167
00:10:05,730.4088895 --> 00:10:07,260.4088895
Anyway, long story.
168
00:10:07,710.4088895 --> 00:10:08,190.4088895
Long.
169
00:10:08,850.4088895 --> 00:10:12,630.4088895
I don't do short, long story long, but abbreviated.
170
00:10:13,660.4088895 --> 00:10:18,670.4088895
The last five minutes of class, I felt like, okay, it's calming down.
171
00:10:19,180.4088895 --> 00:10:19,720.4088895
Okay.
172
00:10:21,250.4088895 --> 00:10:23,140.4088895
I'm starting to feel.
173
00:10:23,500.4088895 --> 00:10:27,310.4088895
Like, I'm not beat red and.
174
00:10:28,450.4088895 --> 00:10:30,610.4088895
My heart is starting to calm down a little bit.
175
00:10:31,360.4088895 --> 00:10:36,400.4088895
So then we go to put our mats away and I'm just so exhausted from the whole situation.
176
00:10:37,510.4088895 --> 00:10:38,440.4088895
That I scurry.
177
00:10:39,130.4088895 --> 00:10:41,650.4088895
Into the bathroom and just like try to collect myself.
178
00:10:41,650.4088895 --> 00:10:43,870.4088895
I was there with my partner's mom.,
179
00:10:43,870.4088895 --> 00:10:45,280.4088895
so I couldn't just like flea.
180
00:10:45,310.4088895 --> 00:10:46,300.4088895
I was like waiting.
181
00:10:46,610.4088895 --> 00:10:48,650.4088895
for her to finish and all that.
182
00:10:49,20.4088895 --> 00:10:58,350.4088895
And as I come out of the bathroom, she was talking to the yoga instructor and I, I chat with her all the time to, again, I love her so much.
183
00:10:58,980.4088895 --> 00:10:59,670.4088895
And.
184
00:11:01,680.4088895 --> 00:11:02,130.4088895
We were just.
185
00:11:02,370.4088895 --> 00:11:03,660.4088895
Exchanging pleasantries.
186
00:11:03,660.4088895 --> 00:11:04,230.4088895
And then.
187
00:11:05,40.4088895 --> 00:11:06,750.4088895
I just remember feeling like.
188
00:11:08,420.4088895 --> 00:11:15,740.4088895
I don't, I don't feel like it's, like, I don't feel like sharing or talking about the faculty just had a panic attack because I'm so exhausted.
189
00:11:15,740.4088895 --> 00:11:19,850.4088895
And I was like, I'm like, I have like a hangover from this right now.
190
00:11:20,990.4088895 --> 00:11:23,570.4088895
But also, it just felt so.
191
00:11:25,280.4088895 --> 00:11:27,320.4088895
Much more triggering and.
192
00:11:28,310.4088895 --> 00:11:34,280.4088895
Weird and to act like I was totally normal and fine.
193
00:11:34,340.4088895 --> 00:11:45,830.4088895
It felt like psychotic to me to be like, You know, Um, That was like, Yeah, I just had a panic attack.
194
00:11:45,830.4088895 --> 00:11:46,880.4088895
Like the whole class.
195
00:11:46,940.4088895 --> 00:11:47,990.4088895
It was so weird.
196
00:11:48,800.4088895 --> 00:11:55,490.4088895
And she was surprised, but then she had such beautiful wisdom for me that I wouldn't have.
197
00:11:56,780.4088895 --> 00:11:58,850.4088895
But I wouldn't have that opening.
198
00:11:58,850.4088895 --> 00:12:01,370.4088895
Had I not just been honest about what was going on for me.
199
00:12:02,270.4088895 --> 00:12:10,40.4088895
And also, I feel like when you put on that front and act like you're so much more okay than you are, it feels even more isolating.
200
00:12:11,210.4088895 --> 00:12:13,580.4088895
So I was very glad that I did just say that.
201
00:12:14,240.4088895 --> 00:12:16,160.4088895
And then, um, anyway, I.
202
00:12:17,570.4088895 --> 00:12:19,760.4088895
Talking about how triggering it can be to.
203
00:12:20,420.4088895 --> 00:12:26,450.4088895
To be still after so much movement after we like run away from ourselves and the busy-ness of life.
204
00:12:26,960.4088895 --> 00:12:31,510.4088895
And then, I shared something like super exciting, super exciting.
205
00:12:32,170.4088895 --> 00:12:34,960.4088895
That is happening for me.
206
00:12:35,340.4088895 --> 00:12:36,510.4088895
I'll share.
207
00:12:37,200.4088895 --> 00:12:38,310.4088895
Soon.
208
00:12:39,390.4088895 --> 00:12:40,740.4088895
I'll share soon with you.
209
00:12:40,860.4088895 --> 00:12:41,190.4088895
I don't know.
210
00:12:41,190.4088895 --> 00:12:42,300.4088895
I'm still processing.
211
00:12:43,320.4088895 --> 00:12:52,790.4088895
And, um, She said, you know, excitement and anxiety also function very similarly in the body.
212
00:12:53,390.4088895 --> 00:12:59,780.4088895
And, She just gave such helpful information and soothing words.
213
00:12:59,870.4088895 --> 00:13:01,10.4088895
And I was so glad that I.
214
00:13:01,800.4088895 --> 00:13:02,910.4088895
Share it and was honest.
215
00:13:03,390.4088895 --> 00:13:03,780.4088895
Okay.
216
00:13:04,320.4088895 --> 00:13:04,710.4088895
No.
217
00:13:05,300.4088895 --> 00:13:07,820.4088895
One of the reasons why.
218
00:13:09,290.4088895 --> 00:13:14,150.4088895
I'm sharing this with you is because I want to bring to the surface.
219
00:13:15,830.4088895 --> 00:13:16,670.4088895
The.
220
00:13:17,900.4088895 --> 00:13:20,180.4088895
Problem that occurs.
221
00:13:20,930.4088895 --> 00:13:21,980.4088895
When we use.
222
00:13:23,180.4088895 --> 00:13:24,530.4088895
Making sense.
223
00:13:25,640.4088895 --> 00:13:26,180.4088895
As.
224
00:13:26,810.4088895 --> 00:13:27,800.4088895
The pedestal.
225
00:13:28,190.4088895 --> 00:13:30,680.4088895
We're like, oh, but this doesn't make sense.
226
00:13:31,10.4088895 --> 00:13:34,310.4088895
I need, just to make sense, I feel like this, but it doesn't make sense.
227
00:13:35,600.4088895 --> 00:13:39,320.4088895
It doesn't make sense that I'm having a panic attack in yoga class.
228
00:13:40,550.4088895 --> 00:13:42,260.4088895
And then the snowball.
229
00:13:42,410.4088895 --> 00:13:43,10.4088895
Fuckers.
230
00:13:43,550.4088895 --> 00:13:45,590.4088895
And then we try to make it make sense.
231
00:13:47,360.4088895 --> 00:13:48,560.4088895
We take these.
232
00:13:49,420.4088895 --> 00:13:51,460.4088895
Very innocent.
233
00:13:52,130.4088895 --> 00:13:54,380.4088895
Rules of thumb logic.
234
00:13:55,490.4088895 --> 00:13:56,240.4088895
What have you.
235
00:13:56,900.4088895 --> 00:13:59,600.4088895
And use it as a weapon against ourselves.
236
00:14:01,400.4088895 --> 00:14:04,220.4088895
And makes everything worse.
237
00:14:06,320.4088895 --> 00:14:12,500.4088895
Having something make sense? Is not the end all be all of course, we're humans.
238
00:14:12,500.4088895 --> 00:14:15,410.4088895
Of course, we crave for things to make sense for us.
239
00:14:15,410.4088895 --> 00:14:16,130.4088895
And sometimes.
240
00:14:16,850.4088895 --> 00:14:21,890.4088895
We're more aware of how making sense to me doesn't make sense to someone else.
241
00:14:21,890.4088895 --> 00:14:22,790.4088895
And that's okay.
242
00:14:23,120.4088895 --> 00:14:26,720.4088895
But sometimes we forget that very important fact.
243
00:14:27,350.4088895 --> 00:14:28,310.4088895
Sometimes.
244
00:14:30,770.4088895 --> 00:14:37,310.4088895
We're feeling the need to justify and contort our life choices in a way that makes sense to others.
245
00:14:37,820.4088895 --> 00:14:39,110.4088895
And that is not helpful.
246
00:14:40,70.4088895 --> 00:14:41,990.4088895
And that in itself doesn't make sense.
247
00:14:43,760.4088895 --> 00:14:44,480.4088895
Oh, God, he's scared.
248
00:14:44,540.4088895 --> 00:14:46,850.4088895
Scared me so much, Cassius.
249
00:14:47,810.4088895 --> 00:14:48,530.4088895
Kashi.
250
00:14:48,740.4088895 --> 00:14:49,400.4088895
Oh my gosh.
251
00:14:49,430.4088895 --> 00:14:51,230.4088895
Why are you doing? Oh my God.
252
00:14:51,560.4088895 --> 00:14:51,770.4088895
Oh.
253
00:14:53,480.4088895 --> 00:14:54,290.4088895
Oh, okay.
254
00:14:55,10.4088895 --> 00:14:55,760.4088895
Let me see buddy.
255
00:14:56,960.4088895 --> 00:14:58,820.4088895
Oh, my God, you scared me so much.
256
00:14:58,850.4088895 --> 00:15:00,50.4088895
Don't do that.
257
00:15:00,980.4088895 --> 00:15:01,700.4088895
Don't do that.
258
00:15:02,720.4088895 --> 00:15:03,680.4088895
You scared me it.
259
00:15:06,50.4088895 --> 00:15:06,680.4088895
I'm recording.
260
00:15:08,570.4088895 --> 00:15:10,220.4088895
Well just watching you work.
261
00:15:10,880.4088895 --> 00:15:11,570.4088895
Oh, yeah.
262
00:15:11,600.4088895 --> 00:15:12,20.4088895
Yeah.
263
00:15:12,290.4088895 --> 00:15:12,410.4088895
So.
264
00:15:12,500.4088895 --> 00:15:13,40.4088895
I was so.
265
00:15:19,160.4088895 --> 00:15:21,980.4088895
Oh, you want to put your headphones on now too? Hold on a second.
266
00:15:22,190.4088895 --> 00:15:22,460.4088895
Yeah.
267
00:15:22,760.4088895 --> 00:15:23,180.4088895
Okay.
268
00:15:23,240.4088895 --> 00:15:24,800.4088895
You know where they are, they're in your backpack.
269
00:15:24,830.4088895 --> 00:15:31,40.4088895
Let me see what you drew, who is this? Is it Zimbler running.
270
00:15:31,610.4088895 --> 00:15:32,120.4088895
Yeah.
271
00:15:32,780.4088895 --> 00:15:34,100.4088895
Oh, my gosh.
272
00:15:34,640.4088895 --> 00:15:40,460.4088895
Okay, you want to, are you going to continue to draw more upstairs? You're going to put your headphones on, like mommy has hers on.
273
00:15:40,510.4088895 --> 00:15:41,740.4088895
Mommy has to finish recording.
274
00:15:41,740.4088895 --> 00:15:48,970.4088895
Do you want to say hi to everyone in the microphone? I want to say hi.
275
00:15:51,850.4088895 --> 00:15:52,330.4088895
Don't touch.
276
00:15:52,360.4088895 --> 00:15:52,960.4088895
The microphone.
277
00:15:52,990.4088895 --> 00:15:53,740.4088895
Cause that makes noise.
278
00:15:54,190.4088895 --> 00:15:57,280.4088895
This is just the sound and then mommy uploads it.
279
00:15:57,280.4088895 --> 00:15:58,750.4088895
And some people listen to it.
280
00:15:59,380.4088895 --> 00:16:00,10.4088895
Can you say.
281
00:16:00,370.4088895 --> 00:16:00,970.4088895
Can you say.
282
00:16:01,240.4088895 --> 00:16:02,830.4088895
Welcome to help me see.
283
00:16:07,300.4088895 --> 00:16:07,570.4088895
Okay.
284
00:16:07,570.4088895 --> 00:16:08,590.4088895
We don't touch the mic.
285
00:16:08,920.4088895 --> 00:16:09,730.4088895
Let's do it again.
286
00:16:10,0.4088895 --> 00:16:12,820.4088895
Say welcome to another episode of help me see.
287
00:16:13,600.4088895 --> 00:16:14,110.4088895
Hold on.
288
00:16:18,620.4088895 --> 00:16:22,70.4088895
Say well with our host, Mami and Cassius.
289
00:16:24,500.4088895 --> 00:16:25,850.4088895
It's a one week camp.
290
00:16:31,70.4088895 --> 00:16:32,240.4088895
This is my show.
291
00:16:38,180.4088895 --> 00:16:39,170.4088895
Okay, listen.
292
00:16:39,560.4088895 --> 00:16:40,700.4088895
Mommy has to finish working.
293
00:16:40,700.4088895 --> 00:16:43,610.4088895
Can you take this upstairs? Okay.
294
00:16:43,790.4088895 --> 00:16:44,900.4088895
And close the door, please.
295
00:16:45,870.4088895 --> 00:16:51,30.4088895
So I'm recording in darkness in the basement and he's just like slithers down.
296
00:16:51,30.4088895 --> 00:16:56,670.4088895
Doesn't turn on the light and crawls behind me and scares the bejesus out of me.
297
00:16:59,460.4088895 --> 00:17:01,680.4088895
Oh my God, um, side.
298
00:17:01,680.4088895 --> 00:17:02,100.4088895
No.
299
00:17:02,730.4088895 --> 00:17:07,380.4088895
Uh, I've been trying to help him focus more in school and in general.
300
00:17:07,380.4088895 --> 00:17:09,600.4088895
So I got him these like noise canceling headphones.
301
00:17:09,960.4088895 --> 00:17:12,360.4088895
No, no, you can't like plug it into anything.
302
00:17:12,360.4088895 --> 00:17:14,400.4088895
Just like what kids use at concerts.
303
00:17:14,990.4088895 --> 00:17:21,50.4088895
And he loves seeing when mommy has her headphones on, because I think he's like, oh yeah, I have to focus to.
304
00:17:21,140.4088895 --> 00:17:22,220.4088895
I have my headphones on.
305
00:17:23,60.4088895 --> 00:17:25,10.4088895
Uh, so that's really, really, really sweet.
306
00:17:28,610.4088895 --> 00:17:29,90.4088895
Kashi.
307
00:17:29,90.4088895 --> 00:17:31,520.4088895
Mommy told you I'm finishing my, my word.
308
00:17:31,800.4088895 --> 00:17:36,900.4088895
You want to work down here too? Okay, listen, buddy.
309
00:17:37,470.4088895 --> 00:17:40,380.4088895
That you have to be very quiet cause mommy's recording something.
310
00:17:40,380.4088895 --> 00:17:40,920.4088895
Okay.
311
00:17:41,580.4088895 --> 00:17:44,670.4088895
Do you understand? Yeah.
312
00:17:44,910.4088895 --> 00:17:45,390.4088895
I know.
313
00:17:46,700.4088895 --> 00:17:47,150.4088895
Okay.
314
00:17:47,270.4088895 --> 00:17:50,540.4088895
So there's about to be some background noise.
315
00:17:51,380.4088895 --> 00:17:53,930.4088895
I guess now he's down here working because he wants to work next to me.
316
00:17:54,470.4088895 --> 00:17:55,310.4088895
Super sweet.
317
00:17:55,430.4088895 --> 00:17:56,180.4088895
And also.
318
00:17:59,840.4088895 --> 00:18:01,910.4088895
I've passed a version of myself.
319
00:18:01,940.4088895 --> 00:18:07,280.4088895
I would probably be throwing a tantrum inside right now and now I am.
320
00:18:08,120.4088895 --> 00:18:09,230.4088895
Not that I'm beyond it.
321
00:18:09,560.4088895 --> 00:18:10,940.4088895
I still throw tantrums.
322
00:18:11,10.4088895 --> 00:18:11,670.4088895
but.
323
00:18:12,360.4088895 --> 00:18:13,590.4088895
I am.
324
00:18:14,460.4088895 --> 00:18:16,770.4088895
Right now, a little more centered, I think.
325
00:18:16,950.4088895 --> 00:18:17,580.4088895
And.
326
00:18:18,780.4088895 --> 00:18:20,160.4088895
Just letting it be okay.
327
00:18:22,680.4088895 --> 00:18:24,240.4088895
What the fuck was I saying.
328
00:18:24,670.4088895 --> 00:18:25,630.4088895
Last I remember.
329
00:18:26,560.4088895 --> 00:18:27,880.4088895
Weapon against ourselves.
330
00:18:28,690.4088895 --> 00:18:30,490.4088895
Like it must make sense.
331
00:18:30,550.4088895 --> 00:18:31,420.4088895
Make it make sense.
332
00:18:32,470.4088895 --> 00:18:33,340.4088895
I remember.
333
00:18:33,850.4088895 --> 00:18:41,80.4088895
The reason my panic attacks would spiral out of control so much when I was getting them regularly, like years ago.
334
00:18:41,80.4088895 --> 00:18:47,590.4088895
I was because I would start feeling like this doesn't make sense.
335
00:18:48,550.4088895 --> 00:18:51,340.4088895
I am with someone that I'm totally comfortable with.
336
00:18:51,880.4088895 --> 00:18:58,480.4088895
I'm really enjoying, like I quote unquote, enjoy this, like the activity we're doing, where we are.
337
00:18:58,630.4088895 --> 00:19:01,90.4088895
Um, the food is yummy, whatever it was.
338
00:19:01,540.4088895 --> 00:19:04,630.4088895
And yet I'm starting to panic and I just kept thinking this doesn't make sense.
339
00:19:04,630.4088895 --> 00:19:07,90.4088895
Why am I feeling this? Why am I feeling like this? Doesn't make sense.
340
00:19:09,360.4088895 --> 00:19:16,560.4088895
that's why discovering the HSP, highly sensitive person and becoming more aware of my sensitive nervous system.
341
00:19:16,950.4088895 --> 00:19:17,610.4088895
And.
342
00:19:18,240.4088895 --> 00:19:20,400.4088895
Making sense to myself.
343
00:19:20,760.4088895 --> 00:19:21,450.4088895
And that way.
344
00:19:21,840.4088895 --> 00:19:22,410.4088895
Has like.
345
00:19:23,220.4088895 --> 00:19:34,410.4088895
Really, really significantly helped the escalation usually, um, in my anxiety to panic, because It makes more sense to me and I'm aware of it.
346
00:19:34,440.4088895 --> 00:19:36,930.4088895
And I have like a greater bandwidth for.
347
00:19:37,740.4088895 --> 00:19:41,810.4088895
So it's like these innocent things of finding ways that make sense.
348
00:19:42,650.4088895 --> 00:19:48,280.4088895
Or, Oh, another one that I was just talking to a friend about doing the reps.
349
00:19:50,50.4088895 --> 00:19:50,680.4088895
It's like.
350
00:19:51,400.4088895 --> 00:19:52,780.4088895
We all have heard.
351
00:19:53,200.4088895 --> 00:20:00,730.4088895
Whatever your chosen thing of work is or whatever in life it's like, I'll just do the reps, do the reps like it over and over again.
352
00:20:00,730.4088895 --> 00:20:02,830.4088895
Practice, practice, practice, whatever it is.
353
00:20:03,300.4088895 --> 00:20:13,420.4088895
chose, you know, commitment and, and that's the only way that, mastery comes and, whatever, like we all have heard do the, doing the reps.
354
00:20:14,710.4088895 --> 00:20:15,370.4088895
And.
355
00:20:16,210.4088895 --> 00:20:17,680.4088895
It is very true.
356
00:20:18,550.4088895 --> 00:20:22,960.4088895
And also that doesn't have to be a prerequisite for.
357
00:20:23,980.4088895 --> 00:20:25,900.4088895
Creating something of value.
358
00:20:30,130.4088895 --> 00:20:31,0.4088895
What's the matter.
359
00:20:31,540.4088895 --> 00:20:32,950.4088895
Oh, asylee.
360
00:20:41,860.4088895 --> 00:20:43,420.4088895
Hi buddy.
361
00:20:44,260.4088895 --> 00:20:47,150.4088895
Did you wake up? Good morning.
362
00:20:47,870.4088895 --> 00:20:52,20.4088895
Let me see I love you.
363
00:20:54,540.4088895 --> 00:20:55,770.4088895
Did you sleep? Okay.
364
00:20:57,360.4088895 --> 00:20:57,840.4088895
Yeah.
365
00:20:58,410.4088895 --> 00:21:00,210.4088895
You woke up and you're looking for me.
366
00:21:01,680.4088895 --> 00:21:04,890.4088895
You found me? Here I am.
367
00:21:07,590.4088895 --> 00:21:08,10.4088895
Okay.
368
00:21:10,260.4088895 --> 00:21:13,110.4088895
This podcast episode is about to end.
369
00:21:14,310.4088895 --> 00:21:14,940.4088895
I'm going to wrap.
370
00:21:15,420.4088895 --> 00:21:16,50.4088895
But.
371
00:21:16,50.4088895 --> 00:21:18,720.4088895
The main thing I wanted to address is that.
372
00:21:19,770.4088895 --> 00:21:21,60.4088895
These insidious things.
373
00:21:23,310.4088895 --> 00:21:26,220.4088895
That are innocent enough and are true enough.
374
00:21:26,910.4088895 --> 00:21:30,480.4088895
You know, Whatever makes sense to you.
375
00:21:30,900.4088895 --> 00:21:32,40.4088895
Do the reps.
376
00:21:32,340.4088895 --> 00:21:33,480.4088895
Oh gratitude.
377
00:21:33,510.4088895 --> 00:21:34,200.4088895
That's another one.
378
00:21:34,200.4088895 --> 00:21:38,730.4088895
Being grateful and then we take them and white knuckle them.
379
00:21:39,930.4088895 --> 00:21:42,150.4088895
And use them as a weapon against ourselves.
380
00:21:42,990.4088895 --> 00:21:55,80.4088895
And use them as the thing that is like, oh, I'm not worthy until I do a trillion reps or I can't possibly be creating something of value to someone else unless I've done it a million times or.
381
00:21:55,590.4088895 --> 00:21:59,970.4088895
Um, I can't do it unless I can find a way for it to make sense.
382
00:22:00,600.4088895 --> 00:22:05,850.4088895
Or, uh, No, I'm not.
383
00:22:06,810.4088895 --> 00:22:10,170.4088895
He knows the fact that I'm frustrated means that I'm ungrateful.
384
00:22:10,500.4088895 --> 00:22:12,480.4088895
And that's wrong and blah, blah, blah.
385
00:22:12,720.4088895 --> 00:22:19,140.4088895
Like let's just let, can we hold it loosely? Can we hold it all loosely and remain aware of.
386
00:22:19,530.4088895 --> 00:22:21,90.4088895
The things in which.
387
00:22:21,790.4088895 --> 00:22:26,840.4088895
Start to turn from a guiding post and something that's helpful to something that is actually.
388
00:22:27,260.4088895 --> 00:22:28,940.4088895
We're using as a.
389
00:22:30,200.4088895 --> 00:22:33,290.4088895
Crutch or as a weapon or as a, whatever it is.
390
00:22:33,820.4088895 --> 00:22:35,170.4088895
Um, Yeah, buddy.
391
00:22:35,170.4088895 --> 00:22:36,700.4088895
Can you say, thanks for tuning in.
392
00:22:38,900.4088895 --> 00:22:39,470.4088895
Hi.
393
00:22:40,160.4088895 --> 00:22:41,270.4088895
Thanks for tuning in.
394
00:22:42,860.4088895 --> 00:22:43,460.4088895
And.
395
00:22:43,970.4088895 --> 00:22:44,750.4088895
Thanks for tuning.
396
00:22:44,960.4088895 --> 00:22:46,10.4088895
Thank you for the end.
397
00:22:46,10.4088895 --> 00:22:47,840.4088895
You don't put your spit on the microphone.
398
00:22:48,470.4088895 --> 00:22:48,800.4088895
Yeah.
399
00:22:48,830.4088895 --> 00:22:49,190.4088895
Okay.
400
00:22:49,860.4088895 --> 00:22:55,620.4088895
Well, If we were on the phone together, this would be exactly what it would sound like.
401
00:22:55,650.4088895 --> 00:22:56,670.4088895
So.
402
00:22:59,460.4088895 --> 00:23:00,390.4088895
Here it is.
403
00:23:01,60.4088895 --> 00:23:02,470.4088895
So I'll leave you with.
404
00:23:04,60.4088895 --> 00:23:09,340.4088895
What in your life? I Larry, I love you caches.
405
00:23:11,0.4088895 --> 00:23:11,870.4088895
I'm sorry, buddy.
406
00:23:11,870.4088895 --> 00:23:12,950.4088895
I just need to finish.
407
00:23:15,890.4088895 --> 00:23:16,130.4088895
Sorry.
408
00:23:19,640.4088895 --> 00:23:28,400.4088895
What in your life? Are you doing that? Make sense.
409
00:23:29,480.4088895 --> 00:23:30,590.4088895
But not in a good way.
410
00:23:33,380.4088895 --> 00:23:43,130.4088895
What are you? What in your life are you making conditional with being worthy? Like I'll be worthy when I.
411
00:23:43,640.4088895 --> 00:23:47,930.4088895
You know, what are your reps? Like once I do this, then I can.
412
00:23:48,530.4088895 --> 00:23:51,200.4088895
Relax, then I can enjoy, then I can.
413
00:23:51,710.4088895 --> 00:23:59,180.4088895
Feel accomplished? What is that? What is that? What is that? And don't, I'm an even.
414
00:24:00,260.4088895 --> 00:24:03,500.4088895
I won't even make it to triggering us to say.
415
00:24:04,460.4088895 --> 00:24:07,730.4088895
Oh, You know, Release it, let it go.
416
00:24:08,510.4088895 --> 00:24:09,200.4088895
Just see it.
417
00:24:10,220.4088895 --> 00:24:11,180.4088895
Helped me see right.
418
00:24:11,390.4088895 --> 00:24:12,170.4088895
Just see it.
419
00:24:13,610.4088895 --> 00:24:15,650.4088895
Don't put the pressure on yourself to release it.
420
00:24:15,980.4088895 --> 00:24:17,120.4088895
And to change your life.
421
00:24:17,480.4088895 --> 00:24:20,480.4088895
Just be like, oh, I'm doing that there.
422
00:24:20,600.4088895 --> 00:24:21,680.4088895
Oh, okay.
423
00:24:22,40.4088895 --> 00:24:22,490.4088895
Okay.
424
00:24:23,180.4088895 --> 00:24:23,510.4088895
Cool.
425
00:24:24,380.4088895 --> 00:24:25,730.4088895
That, just that.
426
00:24:26,390.4088895 --> 00:24:27,170.4088895
Oh, I see it.
427
00:24:27,380.4088895 --> 00:24:27,920.4088895
Okay.
428
00:24:29,120.4088895 --> 00:24:29,810.4088895
Has quelled.
429
00:24:30,80.4088895 --> 00:24:31,310.4088895
Many, a panic attack for me.
430
00:24:33,620.4088895 --> 00:24:34,70.4088895
Okay.
431
00:24:35,0.4088895 --> 00:24:36,50.4088895
Say hi, Sally.
432
00:24:36,320.4088895 --> 00:24:37,670.4088895
Hi.
433
00:24:39,140.4088895 --> 00:24:40,610.4088895
Can you say, thanks for listening.
434
00:24:40,820.4088895 --> 00:24:41,750.4088895
Is through.
435
00:24:42,140.4088895 --> 00:24:44,630.4088895
I didn't say have a good day.
436
00:24:47,30.4088895 --> 00:24:48,110.4088895
Yeah, I love you.
437
00:24:53,0.4088895 --> 00:24:53,450.4088895
Okay.
438
00:24:53,510.4088895 --> 00:24:54,680.4088895
I got to go make them breakfast.
439
00:24:56,450.4088895 --> 00:24:57,710.4088895
Thank you for tuning in.
440
00:24:57,740.4088895 --> 00:24:58,940.4088895
I will catch you next time.
441
00:24:59,969.2524269 --> 00:25:03,189.2524269
This has been an Awkward Sage Production.
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