How Deeply Am I Respecting My Body & My Life? with Steph Trzaska

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it really is about how deeply do I respect my body and my life? I mean that at the core, that's the journey that we're on.

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And that's why we're doing what we're doing.

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It's out of respect for this life that we have and wanting to be able to live it fully as possible to be as expressed and joyful and sad and energetic and all the things as we possibly can, rather than living through this haze and this fog And so then coming into this, where I'm like, woof, I have a real reason for my wellness and for like my family and all these things to be doing this.

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And I still felt like shy to tell people partially because I'll start something and I won't always complete it.

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And what's the problem with that anyway? Like, what is the problem with having cycles and evolution? We can, we just like full stop there.

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Yes, it's such a stereotype.

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And it's like, Oh, what's the thing now? And it's like, I'm sorry.

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Yes.

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What should I just like, my whole life just always be the same and like, commit to not changing so that there's no variables that's changing on you any time we encounter each other.

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Right? I know.

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And I feel like I've even been like, shame splaining myself through this As though it's a problem.

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And it's really not, it's like, this is how we grow.

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This is how we expand.

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This is how we become exciting people that know many things.

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We know a lot of different things right through trying it on.

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Help Me See is a podcast dedicated to the art of seeing.

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It's a space for the restless visionary with an insatiable desire to create the life and work you're meant for.

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My name is Bianca Lea Mora, and I'm a photographic artist, a mother, and a coach who's transformed my fear of loss into power, art, and philosophy.

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One of the scariest quotes I never want to say is, I wish I knew at the time, but I truly believe that we have the innate ability to bring our wise 2020 hindsight to our now.

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You can deeply experience your nostalgia now, while it's actually happening, with no regrets.

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All you have to do is see.

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In this show, we laugh, we cry, we get inspired, we overshare, we have life changing conversations around making meaning, self discovery, and shedding all the BS layers in order to reconnect to our own sacred vision.

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Seeing yourself is an essential key to living powerfully.

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You are the vessel, the lens that filters absolutely everything in your life.

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What are you filtering for? Whether it be conversations with fellow artists and visionaries, or my solo audio journal style introspective ramblings, each episode is meant to feel like an exhale, an unraveling of truth, a moment for you to be able to put your finger on something that you haven't been able to for far too long.

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Come exactly as you are.

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It's perfect.

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Honor your instincts.

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Let's uncover some of the most important things in our lives which all too often can slip out from our view.

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Let's commit to seeing and consciously creating what only you can in your one and only life.

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Let's dive in.

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Hello, hello, and welcome to another episode of Help Me See.

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I'm dropping a quick intro in here because today's episode is with my dear friend, Steph Traska, and we chat about many things.

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A lot of the conversation circles around our joint venture into Eating in a thyroid friendly way.

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Steph and I both have autoimmune diseases with our thyroid and She came across this book and basically was like, Hey, I'm going to try to eat like this to try to support my thyroid and see if I feel any different.

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Um, I'm like, sure, I'll give it a go.

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Want to feel less shitty.

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So, um, when we reference our new style of eating, that's what we're talking about.

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Um, I'm coming to you sitting on a bare mattress.

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Uh, my son had an accident in our bed, and all day we've been hitting it with different types of cleaning to try to make it not smell like urine.

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Um, You know, I, I really feel compelled to share with you here that I have just not been feeling great.

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And I say that not as a cry for help, not as a, although what's wrong with that, right? Like if I was looking for help, no, um, not as cry for help, but just as a honest, like, level setting here because I was editing, finishing, listening to the sound or whatever from the last episode and I was like, wow, that was just a few days ago when I had such a different level of energy.

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And today I've just been on the brink of tears all day.

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I'm just so overwhelmed.

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I'm so worried about everything.

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And if that's you right now, I just want to give space for that.

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You know, it's so easy when we're feeling like enthusiastic and inspired and with a close friend to just be like, yeah, like fuck it.

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Yeah.

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We're doing the most weekend.

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Um, and feel really supported and energized in that space.

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But then there's the realness of feeling so alone and like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders and i'm worried about everything the pain in my hip and what is it and why am i so tired is it normal tired or is there something wrong with me and oh my goodness like how am i going to squeeze in like uh my work with Some educational fun and quality time with the kids during summer when I'm home.

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And then, oh my goodness, I leave and travel for work in a couple weeks.

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And I feel guilty about that.

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Eugh, bleh, bleh, bleh.

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Eugh.

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You know, this is the point where sometimes the venting is just too Like, you know, it'd be helpful to get it off your chest, but you don't even have the energy to do that.

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You go to open your mouth to start sharing it with like one of your closest friends and like all the energy leaves your body.

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And you're like, nevermind.

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I just don't even want to do that right now.

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So If that is you, I am holding space for that.

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And you know, I do find that Podcaster really helpful in that way because it provides this really unique, Experience to where it feels so intimate because you're listening to someone like in your headphones or in your car In the intimate places and spaces of your life while you're doing the dishes or while you're running errands driving around whatever And you're listening to This, this conversation that feels private and very specific, but you don't actually have to expel the energy to participate.

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You don't actually have to, um, partake and, um, and just involve yourself in that way.

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And I think that sometimes that's really helpful.

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Uh, one last thing before I go, I always say this will be like a one minute intro.

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And then I always babble my face off, but I was in this container once and oh my goodness, I wish I could remember her name.

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Uh, I'll add it to the show notes if I do, but I, We went to this online workshop of sorts and the facilitator had us, she had us go into zoom groups, you know, when you can like one on one put yourself and someone else in there and then go back to the main group later.

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And the thing was, we had to for five minutes.

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each talk and the other person was on mute and start talking about something, anything.

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And once your time was up, you couldn't respond.

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Like you weren't responding to what was said.

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You were just sharing exactly like what's on your heart or whatever the prompt was or whatever.

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And it was actually so much harder to be the one on mute, to just listen and to not You know, go to come to the rescue of someone not in a in a condescending way, but in a like, oh supportive way or like you want to be like actively engaged and like show you're listening or, or, you know, whatever.

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It was just so astounding to me how many times like I went to school.

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respond and I'm like, Oh my God, just shut the fuck up.

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Like, just like, listen, you know? And, uh, it was a really, really powerful experience that I will not forget.

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And also on the flip side, when you're the one that's talking and the other, knowing the other person cannot speak, cannot say something, you always.

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Find your way back to yourself.

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It's like you start talking in these like circles of, it's like journaling, but out loud.

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You know, like free writing or morning pages or whatever.

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But when you're talking with someone and you know that they cannot respond, You just kind of fill in the blanks and you kind of astound yourself with how much wisdom you have about the situation you're talking about.

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So, um, maybe that should be the new format of my, of the sacred seeing.

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We'll add a new call that's basically everyone taking turns just talking while everyone else is on mute.

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Anyway.

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Okay.

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That is what I have for you today.

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Um, my friend, Steph, she leads women's circles here at local Cleveland area.

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She, uh, hosts retreats.

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She does, coaching containers.

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She's just.

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a delightfully real gorgeous person and, um, uh, any information that you want to check out about her will be in the show notes.

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I believe at the time I dropped this episode, there'll be a couple of days left if you wanted to sign up for her container if you're local to Cleveland, that she hosts an intimate group of women for, I think it's six months and that's called the village.

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Um, if you're interested.

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More information will be in the show notes there.

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And, um, if you're just feeling compelled to be more vocal in these conversations, instead of just listening to me ramble in the podcast, then I invite you to check out Sacred Seeing, my weekly membership.

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I call it monthly because it's a monthly podcast.

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thing, but the, the meetings are actually every week, uh, a weekly membership for creatives and artists to come together and do the work that is so important to their souls and to talk about it and connect and not feel so gosh, darn alone in the pursuit of your passions.

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So that is what I have for you today.

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I hope you enjoyed my conversation with Steph and I will.

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Catch you next time.

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No, I was thinking about yesterday.

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I was thinking about how I was so tired, like unbearably tired driving cash to school.

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And I knew it was like, I'm getting my period.

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I had the cramps.

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I was like, you know, what's coming and then I have to go to Starbucks and get like a large cold brew right after this, like, just to be able to keep my eyes open and I, after I got the coffee and I was like, on my way home, I'm like, isn't it funny how I didn't even consider for a second that like.

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I was just going to be really tired today, or maybe I'll just take a nap at all.

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I was like, oh my god, I must.

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I must.

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Like, that's how deep this goes.

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So, I don't know, I just think that it's, more and more, I'm like encountering women that are actually treating, like, their cycle, like, differently than regular life.

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And I'm so grateful for hearing about that because it's given me even the chance to see an option, even if I'm not taking it, even if it's not my first, second, third, fourth, or fifth impulse, I am like, Oh yeah, wait, it is an option to be like, Oh, I'm bleeding heavily and I'm really tired.

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Perhaps I shall lay down.

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Yeah, there's that mentality that you have, which I feel like I don't, so we can talk about the differences there, but where you're like, I'm tired fuel to push through like rather than honoring where my body is in this moment and feeling into that more deeply.

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I am just going to find this solution where I'm using quotes so that I can do what is expected of me or what I expect of myself today and like push on.

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Does that feel correct? Oh, I mean, I have like, um, uh, I guess an emotional and physical intolerance to that.

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It's like, no, I want to do that.

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It's like, I don't even want in those moments.

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Like there, of course, are, is nuance in different situations, but like in the moments where I just started my day and I like have stuff I really want to do or have to do quote unquote, whatever, I'm just like, No, I don't, I don't want to slow down.

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I don't want to relax.

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Um, and then I wonder how much of that is because I'm just not open to it.

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How much of that is just because I've never historically never done that.

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Um, really, the only thing that I allow to lay me up is when I get my.

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When I like, succumb.

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I'm like, I can't, there's that no option.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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I, on the other hand, am like, I'm real good at relaxing.

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I'm like, real good at being like, mmm.

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I'm feeling resistance.

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Like yesterday I was writing an email.

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I have not written to my email community for probably a month.

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I've become one of those people, like a monthly newsletter, maybe.

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Um, yeah.

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And, um, I mean, I don't think that's bad either necessarily.

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Right.

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I mean, that's about cycles and rhythms too, because there are times when I'm like, I've got a lot to say and creativity is flowing and I might be emailing my community two to three times a week, you know, and just, But right now that's just not what's happening.

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So yesterday I was like, Oh, it's been a month.

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I should write an email and plug in.

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Also, I find that I do some of my best writing when it feels performance like.

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So writing it into the actual flow desk.

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Rather than writing into a document because I'm some even though no one's receiving it while I'm writing it into flow desk I'm like this is for people to consume like people are gonna read this and even if I would write a Google Doc I'm like, I don't know.

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It's like a different energy and then I let my ADD take over and I get distracted and then I don't complete it, you know, but I see it feels like the scratch paper versus the nice leg.

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Yeah.

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Doc.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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So I was writing in the flow desk and I was like, I'm gonna finish this email.

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And then like the heaviest, drowsiest feeling just like, I mean, it was like a bubble, like a thick, heavy bubble that just.

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You know, encased me and I just couldn't write anymore.

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And I was like, no, but I really want to finish.

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I have plenty of time to finish.

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I have plenty of time before I'm meeting with my client.

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And then I was like, no, just close the, close the computer.

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Like you'll write, you'll finish it when you have energy and when you're inspired, you know, and so I just closed it, even though I had time to get it done.

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And I have, you have.

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Just like I do, we both have very limited work time that is totally revolving around our children.

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And so it does, we can feel that pressure like, ah, but I got to use like the 23 minutes that I have left or the 11 minutes that I have left to complete, to go.

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Um, so I do have that voice.

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I do have that voice like that we're, you know, that you definitely have.

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I feel like I have really learned to just Quiet it and like, feel into my body more, um, do stop.

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And I feel like this links up to something we were chatting about before we hit record of like, what do we want to talk about today? Like what feels relevant in our lives? What carries a message for anyone that's listening? And, you know, we both have Hashimoto's and hypothyroidism, and this has caused both of us to feel exhausted, like extreme fatigue.

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have this mysterious weight gain and total weight loss resistance, which again, like you just don't feel like yourself.

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You don't feel like you're in your body.

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You lose connection to your playful, joyous energy and like your sensual self.

164
00:18:22,249.7514622 --> 00:18:38,859.7514622
And, um, I don't remember if this is a symptom for you too, but for me it's been this irritability and mood swings and like this weird kind of panicked rage that will come in that I didn't have before this diagnosis in the same way, you know, and I had a child already.

165
00:18:38,869.7514622 --> 00:18:42,149.7504622
It was when my second one was born that my symptoms started three years ago.

166
00:18:42,529.7504622 --> 00:18:47,319.7504622
Um, but it like, you know, so this is like that.

167
00:18:48,184.7514622 --> 00:19:02,874.7504622
That situation too where I've seen you and heard you talking about these symptoms that you've been living with and fighting through and just getting through your days trying to be a creator and a mother and a partner and a daughter and all the other things.

168
00:19:03,444.7514622 --> 00:19:21,314.7504622
Um, and the other day you came over to my house and We had shared a moment where you were like, thank you for inviting me to, well, I guess we haven't gone into what this is, what I invited you to do, which was like basically overhaul our entire diets and we can get into that.

169
00:19:21,314.7504622 --> 00:19:31,559.7514622
Like, uh, you know, um, Someone fell into my lap, the medical medium, Anthony Jones, I think, I don't even know his name.

170
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I'm just like, okay, this is my Bible now, so this helps someone.

171
00:19:35,919.7514622 --> 00:19:37,49.7504622
And I read the book.

172
00:19:39,989.7504622 --> 00:19:46,304.7514622
Sorry, wait, there is a thing where it was like ADHD real and it was like, Oh, new hobby.

173
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It's like, you research like for 17 hours, like the best equipment must have the best of the best must know everything about the history of this.

174
00:19:57,104.8514622 --> 00:19:59,334.7514622
It's like, it's insane.

175
00:19:59,854.7514622 --> 00:20:00,994.7514622
Yeah, exactly.

176
00:20:01,14.7504622 --> 00:20:01,704.7504622
Kind of like that.

177
00:20:01,764.7504622 --> 00:20:15,79.7514622
So yes, we don't even know who the name of this um, thing is by, but we're doing it by By George, by golly, we are doing it and it requires like it's intense.

178
00:20:15,249.7514622 --> 00:20:15,919.7514622
It's intense.

179
00:20:15,929.7514622 --> 00:20:23,814.7514622
It's removing These top allergens, soy, corn, dairy, gluten, pork, canola oil, and something else that I'm forgetting.

180
00:20:24,194.7514622 --> 00:20:24,634.7514622
Acid.

181
00:20:24,664.7514622 --> 00:20:26,154.7514622
Egg! Did I say that? I didn't say egg.

182
00:20:26,404.7514622 --> 00:20:31,704.7514622
Yeah, all of these things that are healthy foods, right? I mean, depending how you eat them.

183
00:20:32,914.7514622 --> 00:20:38,79.6514622
But apparently feed this virus, EBB, that is attacking our systems and creating inflammation.

184
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Like we don't need to go into the sense unless you're dealing with this yourself, you probably don't care at all.

185
00:20:43,769.7514622 --> 00:20:51,449.7504622
But this information came to me and I resonated with everything in the book and it's everything different from what my endocrinologist has said.

186
00:20:51,469.7514622 --> 00:20:53,819.7504622
It's everything different from any doctor that I've talked to.

187
00:20:53,819.7504622 --> 00:20:58,759.7514622
It's like everything I've read in this book about thyroid healing with a medical medium.

188
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Is different.

189
00:21:00,184.7514622 --> 00:21:06,154.7514622
And so I reached out to you and was like, I don't know if you wanna do this, but like, I am all in on this.

190
00:21:06,154.7514622 --> 00:21:06,364.7514622
Yep.

191
00:21:06,364.7514622 --> 00:21:09,814.7514622
My a DD, my hyper focus, like I want results.

192
00:21:09,814.7514622 --> 00:21:09,904.7514622
Right.

193
00:21:09,904.7514622 --> 00:21:10,744.7514622
It's been three years.

194
00:21:10,749.7514622 --> 00:21:13,674.7514622
This be train Yeah.

195
00:21:14,494.7514622 --> 00:21:16,534.7514622
And you were like, yeah, okay.

196
00:21:16,534.7514622 --> 00:21:17,344.7514622
Like I'll do it.

197
00:21:17,614.7514622 --> 00:21:18,784.7514622
Not really knowing I think.

198
00:21:18,784.7514622 --> 00:21:19,84.7514622
Right.

199
00:21:19,84.7514622 --> 00:21:42,494.7504622
What you were getting into and uh Oh really? We can talk about those details, but that moment of like, ah, like you, you said to me, I wouldn't have done this or tried to make this change until I was like lying in a gutter, you know, like until it was so bad that I couldn't do anything else.

200
00:21:44,629.7514622 --> 00:21:58,259.7514622
Where I was, where that's like, I'm so opposite of that, where I'm just like, I have to find a way like this, you know, I just, I mean, we have the, we both have the warrior spirit, um, in different ways, I think, you know, yeah.

201
00:21:58,719.7514622 --> 00:21:59,139.7514622
Yeah.

202
00:21:59,469.7514622 --> 00:22:00,249.7514622
That's so funny.

203
00:22:00,249.7514622 --> 00:22:00,789.7514622
It's true.

204
00:22:00,789.7514622 --> 00:22:04,509.7514622
It's like if they flex in different areas, I'm like, no, I'll suffer here.

205
00:22:04,509.7514622 --> 00:22:06,219.7514622
And you're like, I, I won't.

206
00:22:06,219.7514622 --> 00:22:07,239.7514622
I cht I can't.

207
00:22:07,659.7514622 --> 00:22:07,869.7514622
Yeah.

208
00:22:07,869.7514622 --> 00:22:14,799.7514622
And then in terms of like the creed or stuff, I'm like, I, I'll work myself to the bone because I must get this out.

209
00:22:14,804.7514622 --> 00:22:20,114.7514622
And you're like, ah, another time Yeah, I know.

210
00:22:20,439.7514622 --> 00:22:22,869.7514622
I'm just like eating bon bonds with my feet up.

211
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Like, no, actually you're not eating bon bonds, because that has a lot of.

212
00:22:28,64.7514622 --> 00:22:30,114.7514622
Gluten and soy.

213
00:22:30,464.7514622 --> 00:22:33,284.7514622
I'm eating celery sticks and cucumbers.

214
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And bunches of cilantro.

215
00:22:36,594.7514622 --> 00:22:37,904.7514622
I'm eating like a rabbit.

216
00:22:38,674.7504622 --> 00:22:51,774.7514622
I will say that I've never, I, I do think too that, um, I've just never cared enough to dick with something that much.

217
00:22:51,804.7514622 --> 00:22:57,524.7514622
But I think that, well, Definitely having someone like that gets it.

218
00:22:57,534.7514622 --> 00:23:02,454.7514622
That's in the same boat doing this with me is like, so, so helpful.

219
00:23:02,534.7514622 --> 00:23:31,139.7514622
And also like never in my life, you trying to lose weight after kids were working, whatever high school, never in my life have I had like, The or willpower to like pass on ice cream or on this or that, and it's never been like this, like huge issue in my life, but like, it's also like, I just know myself and I know how I'm like, yeah, okay.

220
00:23:31,159.7504622 --> 00:23:33,79.7514622
Like, I'm pretty lax about that kind of thing.

221
00:23:33,479.7514622 --> 00:23:40,919.7514622
And with this, with these restrictions, I've, I've never stuck to something so long and I've also never done anything with so many restrictions.

222
00:23:41,479.7514622 --> 00:23:42,479.7514622
So, so interesting.

223
00:23:42,834.7514622 --> 00:24:15,79.7514622
And I think a lot of that too is that I think that in reading that book, and I haven't read the whole book, I think you've read more than I have for sure, um, but to just like understand that it's not just about You know, what ends up showing outside like weight wise, or what's like blanket, vague statement, not good for you, but like, I eat very healthy as well.

224
00:24:15,79.7514622 --> 00:24:26,409.7514622
So it's like, whatever, a balance, but to understand cognitively that like putting this into my body is actively helping my body attack itself, it's different.

225
00:24:27,219.7514622 --> 00:24:28,359.7514622
Just hits different.

226
00:24:28,399.7514622 --> 00:24:33,929.7514622
So like, even when I'm like, with the My family and they're eating ice cream.

227
00:24:34,449.7514622 --> 00:24:39,799.7514622
I noticed internally, there's this space that it's like, I'm not, there's no energy ping ponging back and forth.

228
00:24:39,839.7514622 --> 00:24:41,539.7504622
And you're like, Oh, I want to, but no, no, I can't.

229
00:24:41,559.7514622 --> 00:24:41,839.7514622
I won't.

230
00:24:42,259.7514622 --> 00:24:43,739.7509622
I it's just very clear.

231
00:24:43,739.7509622 --> 00:24:45,59.7514622
Like, I'm just not having this.

232
00:24:45,59.7514622 --> 00:24:46,309.7514622
I'm like, of course I'll be like, Oh.

233
00:24:46,734.7514622 --> 00:24:54,94.7514622
It'd be so nice to have that right now, but like, I'm, it's just not even on the table, you know, and that's never been for me before.

234
00:24:54,657.359207 --> 00:24:56,157.359207
Yeah, I feel like we all need.

235
00:24:57,27.359207 --> 00:24:58,147.359207
a reason.

236
00:24:59,187.359207 --> 00:25:05,587.359207
It comes down to what is your reason for making change in your life, for feeling better, for doing something differently.

237
00:25:05,617.359207 --> 00:25:15,667.259207
Like, what is the reason? And the reason has to be so strong and you have to believe in it so much that that's what creates it.

238
00:25:15,927.359207 --> 00:25:28,427.358707
the lasting change, or at least if it's not lasting, right? Like we may both follow this new lifestyle change and this new way of eating for six months to a year and be like, Oh, but I don't feel that different.

239
00:25:28,427.358707 --> 00:25:36,387.359207
And then it's like, okay, maybe, you know, we stopped doing it, um, and find another path or another way towards healing.

240
00:25:36,397.359207 --> 00:25:38,557.359207
Although I think we both have this.

241
00:25:40,127.359207 --> 00:25:42,37.359207
Knowing and that's what it feels like for me.

242
00:25:42,37.359207 --> 00:25:47,17.359207
Like I just have like a lot of trust that this is a key component.

243
00:25:47,27.359207 --> 00:25:52,177.359207
It might not be the only piece in my healing journey as far as Hashimoto's goes.

244
00:25:52,527.359207 --> 00:26:43,167.359207
Um, but yeah, I feel like, um, Prior to feeling like you had a reason, like, the foods that I'm eating that I'm putting into my body are actually creating war in my body, like, prior to that understanding, what was your relationship like with Fuel, like with food, things you're putting in your body, um, what was your relationship like with the ways that you were or you weren't taking care of yourself? Like, did you feel like, I'm trying things, I'm putting things into place to support myself in these areas where I feel broken or where I feel burnt out or where I feel tapped out, um, or was it something that you just accepted as, you know, Well, this is just the way that my life is now.

245
00:26:43,167.359207 --> 00:26:44,137.359207
This is the way it goes.

246
00:26:44,137.359207 --> 00:27:01,257.359207
Like, before you had a reason, what did it feel like living your life, feeling the way you did? Well, I mean, it's interesting because it's Before I had to read it, I think backing it up a little bit, I think it's odd.

247
00:27:02,57.359207 --> 00:27:07,967.359207
It's a, it can be odd for me to make a decision and a choice so quickly.

248
00:27:07,987.358207 --> 00:27:23,777.359207
Cause I can really be one of those people that like, we were talking about the other night, like read through every line on a sales page or really decide something, but then there are definitely times where it's, I don't need that deliberation time.

249
00:27:23,817.359207 --> 00:27:25,247.358207
Like when I decided to pull.

250
00:27:25,682.359207 --> 00:27:29,172.359207
My oldest out of school for some out of daycare for the summer.

251
00:27:29,732.359207 --> 00:27:39,292.359207
I just like had the idea and instantly I was like, I know I'm doing it, even though it has like huge ramifications, like in terms of many things, I was just like, Oh yeah, like that.

252
00:27:39,352.359207 --> 00:27:39,782.359207
Of course.

253
00:27:39,812.359207 --> 00:27:43,412.358207
I didn't even think to do that, but now I am doing that most certainly.

254
00:27:43,412.358207 --> 00:27:44,492.359207
And it happened like that.

255
00:27:44,882.359207 --> 00:27:52,192.359207
So for this, I think before I had a reason, I mean, I had the reason the whole time, like, I was just like, it's just been getting progressively worse.

256
00:27:52,192.359207 --> 00:27:54,297.359207
Like I just want to be able to focus.

257
00:27:54,517.359207 --> 00:28:05,497.358207
I just want to have like a, uh, more of a bandwidth for like my life and you know, the irritability and like that nervous system stuff and all of that.

258
00:28:05,507.359207 --> 00:28:18,867.359207
But I think that the, what's so interesting to me about like, this is a microcosm for so much, you were talking about like the things that you put into your body or like war inside.

259
00:28:18,947.359207 --> 00:28:34,307.359207
Um, but the problem is, When you don't see it so evidently when it's not like when it's more insidious, right? So for me, it's not like anything I was eating was like, oh and then I felt like shit after that or then oh my gosh My stomach hurts so bad.

260
00:28:34,317.359207 --> 00:28:34,867.359207
Nothing.

261
00:28:35,617.359207 --> 00:28:43,97.259207
It was not any of that, right? Isn't that such a parallel to? Life in the broadest sense.

262
00:28:43,97.359207 --> 00:28:56,32.359207
It's like Most things don't automatically make you, you know, fall on your ass or what? It's just these tiny little things like splinter, splinter, splinter, splinter, splinter, splinter, splinter.

263
00:28:57,362.359207 --> 00:29:08,342.359207
And all of a sudden, you know, one step, one step, one step, not looking up and you will look up and then you're like, where the fuck am I? Where, how did I get here? How is this my life? What am I doing? Who, what? Like.

264
00:29:09,367.359207 --> 00:29:17,277.359207
So, I don't know, I think it's interesting that I've always very much been a go with the flow person in most ways.

265
00:29:17,897.359207 --> 00:29:19,637.358207
I definitely have ways where I'm not.

266
00:29:19,637.358207 --> 00:29:23,27.359207
I don't think my partner would describe me as a go with the flow type of person.

267
00:29:23,247.359207 --> 00:29:27,897.359207
But in my perspective, I think I am in many ways.

268
00:29:28,342.359207 --> 00:29:36,242.359207
So when it came to like eating habits and stuff, um, I love healthy food, but then I also really love sweets and stuff.

269
00:29:36,282.359207 --> 00:29:39,752.359207
So I just kind of accepted like the yin and the yang and whatever.

270
00:29:40,312.359207 --> 00:29:50,552.359207
Um, and a lot of what I would choose to do or not do was, um, circumstantial to, you know, where we were, like who I was with, blah, blah, blah.

271
00:29:50,782.359207 --> 00:30:41,427.359207
So it is very interesting to, As, as this being the, the conversation point right now, eating, and this, I feel like goes for everything in life, but with the eating, I think it's interesting to hold yourself as that steady, like, I will make everything work around this instead of you working around whatever situation you're in like we were talking about family gatherings and of course you want to eat like the traditional like old family stuff and of course, and then there's like the awkward conversation of like, I actually can't eat that and blah, blah, blah, but to respect yourself to that degree to where you're like, this isn't the highest good long term for me, for my family, for my relationships, you know, yeah.

272
00:30:41,712.359207 --> 00:30:43,832.359207
So I'm going to do this even though it sucks.

273
00:30:44,302.359207 --> 00:30:47,802.359207
Uh, yeah, it's just really interesting.

274
00:30:47,802.359207 --> 00:30:59,352.458707
What have you found with that? Because I, I think I really prided myself on, unconsciously prided myself on being easy going, that's fine, you want to eat that? I don't hate a lot of things, so whatever, I'm fine.

275
00:30:59,702.458707 --> 00:31:04,602.458707
But now, I'm like, hmm, no, I'm sticking to this.

276
00:31:05,282.458707 --> 00:31:07,742.458707
Uh, it's a very different, Feeling.

277
00:31:09,102.458707 --> 00:31:09,692.458707
Yeah.

278
00:31:10,162.458707 --> 00:31:12,92.458707
I love how you put that.

279
00:31:12,92.458707 --> 00:31:13,52.458707
I already forget.

280
00:31:13,62.458707 --> 00:31:24,612.458707
I think, gosh, it's recorded because I'm like, what, how did you say it? Like working, you working your life and the people and like events around you rather than you working around all of it.

281
00:31:25,22.458707 --> 00:31:26,562.458707
And the level of respect.

282
00:31:26,572.458707 --> 00:31:37,702.458707
I mean, that's such a good point that it really is about how deeply do I respect my body and my life? I mean that at the core, that's the journey that we're on.

283
00:31:37,712.458707 --> 00:31:39,762.458707
And that's why we're doing what we're doing.

284
00:31:40,22.458707 --> 00:32:01,717.457707
It's out of respect for this life that we have and wanting to be able to live it fully as possible to be as expressed and joyful and sad and energetic and all the things as we possibly can, rather than living through this haze and this fog and looking like people that we don't feel like are reflective, right? Of our values and the ways that we might take care of ourselves.

285
00:32:01,717.458707 --> 00:32:05,877.458707
So I really love that component of respect and it's true.

286
00:32:05,877.458707 --> 00:32:18,677.458707
And I wonder if that's why I like I don't know if you felt this way too, but like I felt very shy to kind of tell people of my, the changes I'm making.

287
00:32:18,707.458707 --> 00:32:25,967.458707
Number one, 'cause like I am a DD, so I'm, I do hyper-focus and come up with like, this is the thing that I'm doing now and this is what I believe.

288
00:32:25,972.458707 --> 00:32:29,447.458707
And then I get, go all in and then it's like, oh no, I'm not doing that anymore.

289
00:32:29,507.458707 --> 00:32:33,287.458707
You know? Um, years ago, probably 10 or 11.

290
00:32:33,727.458707 --> 00:32:40,27.458707
Years ago, I was doing plant based eating, like vegan, you know, but really as minimally processed as possible.

291
00:32:40,447.458707 --> 00:32:45,97.458707
Um, and I was doing it for the animals and for the environmental impact and all of that.

292
00:32:45,397.458707 --> 00:32:58,687.458707
Um, and I did it for a couple years and that was, that was like easier in some ways because you could still like corn and I don't know, you know, but Anyway, it really didn't agree with my body at all.

293
00:32:58,687.458707 --> 00:33:07,797.458707
Like, I put on weight and I was more tired and I was probably eating things like soy and corn and, you know, like, that now we can't eat.

294
00:33:07,837.457707 --> 00:33:20,157.458707
That might have been making me feel worse at the time and I didn't know it, but like, I'd gone all in on that lifestyle and like, You know, my family and my friends knew about it, and then I just stopped doing it, you know.

295
00:33:20,157.458707 --> 00:33:25,587.458707
I eventually was like, oh, I'm gonna incorporate dairy and meat again, and oh, I actually feel so much better, okay.

296
00:33:25,587.458707 --> 00:33:31,237.458707
And until I got to a place where I was eating processed foods all the time again, like, drive thru, no problem.

297
00:33:31,237.458707 --> 00:33:33,867.458707
And like you, like, had total pride.

298
00:33:34,207.458707 --> 00:33:39,317.458707
In how flexible of an eater I could be, like, Oh no, no special accommodations for me, I'll eat anything.

299
00:33:39,637.458707 --> 00:33:47,337.458707
Like, totally just felt like, Yup, like, whatever, you know, whatever the crowd is doing, like, I'm great, you don't need to do anything special for me.

300
00:33:48,2.458707 --> 00:33:57,492.458707
And so then coming into this, where I'm like, woof, I have a real reason for my wellness and for like my family and all these things to be doing this.

301
00:33:58,582.457707 --> 00:34:05,132.457707
And I still felt like shy to tell people partially because I'll start something and I won't always complete it.

302
00:34:05,152.457707 --> 00:34:13,172.458707
And what's the problem with that anyway? Like, what is the problem with having cycles and evolution? We can, we just like full stop there.

303
00:34:13,312.458707 --> 00:34:35,257.458707
Like, I feel like being judged for like, Oh, what's she doing this time? It's like, Um, I'm sorry, instead of just like, my whole life is same same, it's like, I read something, and I'm actually, it's actually not flaky to be like, oh, I'm really wanting to commit to this and see what this experience is like, and actually do it.

304
00:34:35,947.458707 --> 00:34:40,247.458707
Yes, it's such a stereotype.

305
00:34:40,247.458707 --> 00:34:44,167.458707
And it's like, Oh, what's the thing now? And it's like, I'm sorry.

306
00:34:44,587.458707 --> 00:34:44,697.458707
Yes.

307
00:34:44,707.458707 --> 00:34:54,387.457707
What should I just like, my whole life just always be the same and like, commit to not changing so that there's no variables that's changing on you at any time we encounter each other.

308
00:34:56,167.457707 --> 00:34:56,997.458707
Right? I know.

309
00:34:56,997.458707 --> 00:35:04,587.458707
And I feel like I've even been like, shame splaining myself through this being like, Oh, it's my ADD, you know, like dropping it in and throughout our conversation already.

310
00:35:04,587.458707 --> 00:35:07,687.458707
I've done it like As though it's a problem.

311
00:35:07,687.458707 --> 00:35:10,257.458707
And it's really not, it's like, this is how we grow.

312
00:35:10,257.458707 --> 00:35:11,437.458707
This is how we expand.

313
00:35:11,437.458707 --> 00:35:14,917.458707
This is how we become exciting people that know many things.

314
00:35:14,967.458707 --> 00:35:17,917.458707
We know a lot of different things right through trying it on.

315
00:35:18,397.458707 --> 00:35:31,257.458707
I grossed myself out so bad the other day, I cringed at myself like afterwards, I was like, Ew, you ever do that where you and you're like, Oh, yeah, I was at it was the first time I think I might have told you I don't remember.

316
00:35:31,567.457707 --> 00:35:34,727.458707
It was the first time I went to a restaurant on this.

317
00:35:35,247.457707 --> 00:35:39,107.458707
And the guy was like taking my order and I had to ask like awkward questions or whatever.

318
00:35:39,337.458707 --> 00:35:47,927.458707
And I found it and I said, I said, Uh, basically, like I was making a joke out of it and I was like, Oh, basically just no, no fun.

319
00:35:47,937.458707 --> 00:35:48,877.458707
Anything that's fun.

320
00:35:48,877.458707 --> 00:35:50,167.458707
Like take it out of what I'm eating.

321
00:35:50,237.458707 --> 00:36:03,497.458707
I was like, I don't, I just started this like, and I'm, I'm like, why am I explaining that? Why am I saying like, Oh no, I usually like don't care with what you put in my food, but like now I have to be careful and I'm like, it's so not fun.

322
00:36:03,497.458707 --> 00:36:03,877.458707
I know.

323
00:36:03,947.458707 --> 00:36:05,67.458707
Oh, I suck.

324
00:36:05,117.458707 --> 00:36:09,357.458707
You know? I feel like what am I saying right now? It's so terrible.

325
00:36:09,357.558707 --> 00:36:09,517.458707
Yeah.

326
00:36:09,517.458707 --> 00:36:09,677.358707
Yeah.

327
00:36:09,677.458707 --> 00:36:10,297.458707
Yeah.

328
00:36:10,627.458707 --> 00:36:11,827.458707
Oh, totally.

329
00:36:11,947.458707 --> 00:36:12,767.458707
Totally.

330
00:36:13,417.458707 --> 00:36:17,767.458707
I know, and I've been like, going, when I go to family functions, like, bringing my own food.

331
00:36:18,227.458707 --> 00:36:24,357.457707
And then when they have something that they actually did make for me, that they're like, Oh, we wanna have something you can eat.

332
00:36:24,707.458707 --> 00:36:29,617.458707
I'm like, Oh, I would not expect you to go out of your way and do that.

333
00:36:29,627.458707 --> 00:36:32,467.458707
Like, you don't know how long I'm gonna be doing this.

334
00:36:32,507.458707 --> 00:36:38,357.458707
It's like, probably hard for you to think about having to adjust what you're making to accommodate me.

335
00:36:38,632.458707 --> 00:36:54,562.458707
You know, and I got all nervous too, like this was with my in-laws and they were like, 'cause they were like, oh, well what can you eat? You know? And I'm like, actually a lot like, and they would, they said it in like a kind curious way of like, well, what can you eat? Because we eat over there, you know, usually like once a week.

336
00:36:55,472.458707 --> 00:36:59,552.458707
Um, and there is plenty that we can eat in this new way, but.

337
00:37:00,242.458707 --> 00:37:13,872.458707
I also was like, but don't worry about it, like, I can eat, you know, just cook things in olive oil and not butter or canola oil and, you know, just have, have dairy on the side, but you don't need to do that for me, like, I'll just bring my own food and it'll be fine.

338
00:37:14,382.458707 --> 00:37:59,237.458707
Right? So I feel like this whole theme of respect, too, that we were talking about before, is like, There's the, it's like layers, it's like, this is not just a journey in healing ourselves physically, but it's a journey in creating and establishing deeper respect for self, and boundaries and expectations that you may have for others and how they might care for you, you know, cause like, bottom line, the people that love us do want to take care of us, like, it might be a little bit of a hassle at the beginning to learn a new way to do something, but it's also like, if we respect our lives and have ease and flow in them, like, Yeah, those, those in your close knit community, they can know what adjustments they need to make, right? Or that they can make if they're there to support you.

339
00:37:59,237.458707 --> 00:38:10,672.458707
So it's like, first, that decision of respect of, I'm not going to put certain things in my body because It's actually creating all of this dissonance, and imbalance, and inflammation, and etc.

340
00:38:11,112.458707 --> 00:38:35,887.458707
But then there's this next level of respect of, okay, and now how do I communicate to the outside world the way that I need to nourish myself without shamesplaining it, without being like, oh, yeah, it's no fun, oh, don't worry, you know, like, And how many other ways do we do this in our life? Like our topic here, or the way we started it, at least, has been this diet and lifestyle change for autoimmune disease.

341
00:38:35,917.457707 --> 00:38:43,407.457707
But like, what other areas are we abandoning ourselves? An old song.

342
00:38:43,777.457707 --> 00:38:45,367.457707
I, but it was so funny too.

343
00:38:45,367.458707 --> 00:38:52,927.458707
I remember when we were voxing, I was so quick to be like, come to your defense.

344
00:38:52,927.458707 --> 00:38:57,987.458707
And I'm like, what? They should take care of you.

345
00:38:57,987.458707 --> 00:38:58,817.358707
They should.

346
00:38:58,817.458707 --> 00:39:13,87.458707
But then like, When the tables were turned and was asked that question, I found myself doing the same thing and I laughed at myself because I remember said, and I was like, I just jumped out of her throat.

347
00:39:13,87.458707 --> 00:39:14,947.458207
I'm like, Oh, they should want to take care of you.

348
00:39:14,947.458207 --> 00:39:18,87.457707
And they said, Oh, I'll just bring my own.

349
00:39:18,287.458707 --> 00:39:19,87.458707
That's what I said.

350
00:39:19,167.558707 --> 00:39:25,547.458707
They're like, no, what can you do? And they were saying Oh, we got you a gluten free high.

351
00:39:25,547.458707 --> 00:39:26,707.458707
And I was like, Oh, thank you.

352
00:39:26,737.458707 --> 00:39:28,537.458707
And I'm like, fuck, but there's still dairy on it.

353
00:39:28,537.558707 --> 00:39:34,937.457707
So like, I like took the cheese off and ate like cauliflower with sauce.

354
00:39:34,937.458707 --> 00:39:35,897.458707
And it's okay.

355
00:39:35,897.458707 --> 00:39:46,937.458707
But you know, it feels different coming to this point, I think that there's like a new threshold or a new, I don't know, level of like, if you go back now, it feels different.

356
00:39:46,967.458707 --> 00:39:50,847.457707
You know, like the things you can't unsee what you saw or unfeel what you felt.

357
00:39:51,202.458707 --> 00:39:59,522.458707
Like, I don't know, not, I'm not saying that like, NEVER IN MY LIFE WILL I NOT EAT LIKE THIS! I'm not, but it's also, I just feel like, different now.

358
00:39:59,832.458707 --> 00:40:13,837.458707
And I feel like, um, it, I don't know how, what, how this will morph over time, but I also, like, know that there's not a point in which it will go further past, in the past, you know what I mean? Mm hmm.

359
00:40:14,27.458707 --> 00:40:14,577.458707
Yeah.

360
00:40:15,67.458707 --> 00:40:15,437.458707
Yeah.

361
00:40:15,437.458707 --> 00:40:39,447.458707
Well, I feel like the more if we feel and see shifts in our, the way that we feel energetically and the way that we look and all of that, right, like if you start to lose some weight and you start to lose some inflammation and both in your brain, right, so you can think clearly and you don't have that fog and that haze and less irritability, like all these things, like, that's where I'm like, I would, I don't think I'd ever go back, you know, if I like, if I don't feel like what I'm doing, Mm hmm.

362
00:40:39,702.458707 --> 00:40:49,372.458707
is truly creating a shift for me, then it does come back to respect of like, okay, well, like, this is a, it's, it feels easy when you trust that it's gonna work.

363
00:40:49,642.458707 --> 00:40:53,132.457707
I will say, like, I trust that this is gonna work, so it feels easy now.

364
00:40:53,352.458707 --> 00:41:43,182.458707
If I'm doing this for a year and a half and I don't feel like any different, then that's not gonna feel like I'm respecting my life and my body, right? I'm like, okay, this feels like I'm creating some unnecessary, like, me right now, my celery juice every morning, I've, like, literally Ten, you know, stalks of celery that I buy at a time from the store and like ten bunches of cilantro and ten cucumbers And this like lasts me a few days Like it's not easy like right like that it takes a lot of intention and right now I'm like happy to do it because it feels like an act of love and respect for myself But that that one other thing I was thinking about in terms of love like this idea Of other people caring about us and for us and how at first we're like, no, no, no, no, no, I'm fine.

365
00:41:43,182.458707 --> 00:41:44,202.458707
Like you don't need to do this.

366
00:41:44,202.458707 --> 00:41:47,982.457707
You don't need to nothing extra for me, no extra work, no extra care.

367
00:41:48,412.457707 --> 00:41:57,762.458707
But then like what I've noticed, um, like my in laws brought over a cucumber salad to celebrate Everett's birthday the other day.

368
00:41:58,282.458707 --> 00:42:08,782.457707
And, you know, like, my father in law was telling me what he put in it and, like, kind of making sure, like, I'm pretty sure what I made here is, like, you can have everything, and it was, it was totally good.

369
00:42:09,222.458707 --> 00:42:25,812.458707
But, like, I felt so loved and so grateful for that cucumber salad because I just knew, like, Like, they just were thinking of me, and my health, and my wellness, and like, whether or not they were rolling their eyes in the background, I don't know.

370
00:42:26,572.458707 --> 00:42:27,192.458707
Right? I don't know.

371
00:42:27,192.458707 --> 00:42:29,162.458707
They might have been like, oh gosh, Stephanie.

372
00:42:29,702.457707 --> 00:42:30,492.457707
I don't think so.

373
00:42:30,492.457707 --> 00:42:32,112.458707
Like, you know, they're so sweet.

374
00:42:33,977.458707 --> 00:43:06,997.458707
It's like this invitation to receive love in a different way and gratitude because like man I love food and I love like rich flavors and I love dairy like I love a lot of the things that we're cutting out right um and normally I'd be like cucumber salad like I'm not gonna have that I'm gonna have nacho cheese or like you know whatever I mean I ate very healthy before too but I still like to indulge in what I want to eat um but now like It's not even always about the food.

375
00:43:07,17.458707 --> 00:43:14,947.458707
It's like, it's about what it represents, too, you know? Like, what I choose to put in my body is an act of love for myself.

376
00:43:15,257.458707 --> 00:43:27,957.458707
And then when others are, like, asking for how they can support and then trying their hardest to do it, I just felt, like, so, so loved and cared for, you know? Like, just like, wow, I matter.

377
00:43:27,997.458707 --> 00:43:30,27.458707
And, like, I don't know.

378
00:43:30,47.458707 --> 00:43:31,237.458707
It was really beautiful.

379
00:43:34,197.458707 --> 00:43:39,267.458707
Yeah, it definitely is an, an invitation or an opportunity for intimacy.

380
00:43:39,507.458707 --> 00:43:48,437.458707
I remember this was, it's not related to food, but this reminds me of when I, when I was sending emails to my list haven in like a year, Oh.

381
00:43:48,437.458707 --> 00:43:50,32.458707
So my month long, you're like, oh.

382
00:43:51,47.458707 --> 00:43:52,127.458707
Oh, yeah.

383
00:43:54,317.458707 --> 00:44:04,847.458707
Um, but when I was, I remember I would always, every time I sent one, I would take like my parents off because it would just, I felt uncomfortable.

384
00:44:05,822.458707 --> 00:44:13,652.458707
I don't know, you know how you're like, sometimes you share something vulnerable and you're like, I don't know, like it feels weird to have them read it and there was one time I didn't and I forgot.

385
00:44:15,862.458707 --> 00:44:22,502.458707
And I, um, my mom had responded, like I got an email and it was just like, this is so beautiful.

386
00:44:22,502.458707 --> 00:44:23,302.458707
I'm so proud of you.

387
00:44:23,302.458707 --> 00:45:11,937.458707
And I was like, like, I robbed her of that opportunity to like, be that for me, you know? And I, it's not that I didn't think she would be, I was just felt uncomfortable with my own thing, you know? But when she messaged me that I just felt like, so taken aback and I'm like, what did I think was going to happen? Like, what did I? You know, did I think I was going to get mocked on the family's ride? Maybe probably if it were my siblings, but for my older siblings, you know, I don't know, but I just felt like, Oh, what a, what a pleasant surprise that made like humbled me and made me like, rethink my judgments of, you know, what I would assume would happen there.

388
00:45:11,967.458707 --> 00:45:17,997.458707
And I felt really like grateful and also a little sad that I didn't open myself up to that before.

389
00:45:18,772.458707 --> 00:45:55,752.458707
Yeah, yeah, I totally, I've, I've done that too, of like, the don't include, don't include, make a don't include segment so that I don't like, yeah, feel, yeah, feel a sense of shame or whatever, it's like, I feel like all of this is centering around vulnerability, right? Like, the ways in which, We show up vulnerably in our lives or choose to not to, to try to armor ourselves in these ways and, um, keep people from accessing, like, our more delicate, fragile parts.

390
00:45:55,972.458707 --> 00:46:14,72.457707
And then also, like, the assumptions, you know? I feel like, I feel like vulnerability and, like, the desire not to be vulnerable, like, to hide from things, comes from assumptions we make about how we'll be received.

391
00:46:14,752.458707 --> 00:46:21,902.458707
Assumptions we make about what's easy or hard for other people, or triggering or activating for other people.

392
00:46:22,452.458707 --> 00:46:27,92.458707
Uh, assuming that it's our job to take care of other people.

393
00:46:27,562.458707 --> 00:46:33,832.457707
Or like, as you put earlier, like, acting around the world.

394
00:46:33,842.457707 --> 00:46:43,952.457707
I can't remember exactly how you said it again, but like, you know, working yourself around the environment and the world rather than allowing it to work around or with you.

395
00:46:45,307.090627 --> 00:46:59,207.090627
But yeah, all the assumptions that we make, and how much we can rob ourselves of opportunities for closeness, opportunities for growth, opportunities for support, and opportunities for intimacy, because we just assume.

396
00:46:59,297.089627 --> 00:47:03,377.089627
Like, why do we do that? Yeah, we assume we know better.

397
00:47:03,587.091627 --> 00:47:12,862.090627
And you know, I think that, isn't that such an interesting Dance, right? It's like, we do know so much more than we think.

398
00:47:13,62.090627 --> 00:47:15,432.090627
And also the exact opposite.

399
00:47:15,872.090627 --> 00:47:31,942.090627
It's like finding your intuition and like moving with that and like being connected to it, like in a very physical, like gut instinct, whatever chest, whatever, however you experience it way and trusting yourself like unconditionally in that way.

400
00:47:32,332.090627 --> 00:47:41,212.090627
But also being open to the knowing and the understanding that like, we can only see as we are in this moment.

401
00:47:41,622.089627 --> 00:47:59,532.090627
So like, what I learned in NLP, in Neuro Linguistic Programming, it's like, your reality is, Holding a flashlight and whatever that scope of that flashlight is in the dark of a forest, that's how much you're seeing in this realm of reality.

402
00:47:59,752.090627 --> 00:48:15,382.090627
And what is that flashlight? It's your combination of your unique beliefs, experiences, values, uh, uh, meta programs, like how you were raised and it all filters and it's so beautiful and amazing and also so very limited.

403
00:48:15,942.090627 --> 00:48:20,352.089627
And so when you have.

404
00:48:20,977.090627 --> 00:48:27,157.090627
Like this innate, like, deep, instinctual, like, default level of trust in yourself.

405
00:48:27,597.090627 --> 00:48:29,307.090627
I think that's so helpful and so beautiful.

406
00:48:29,307.090627 --> 00:48:38,617.090627
But to do that without, with a closed fist and without, like, open palms, I think that's where it can get a slippery slope.

407
00:48:38,617.090627 --> 00:48:43,657.090627
And I think that's where we rob ourselves of, like, things that are so much better than we could ever even imagine.

408
00:48:43,667.090627 --> 00:48:47,757.090627
Like, I look at my, I'll start crying, my little menace over here.

409
00:48:48,167.090627 --> 00:48:52,162.090627
And how I, uh, It was a complete accident.

410
00:48:52,172.090627 --> 00:49:02,542.090627
Like I didn't, like we had planned like, Oh, and then after we get married, which we never did, then, and then he was just like, nope, popping in now.

411
00:49:02,612.090627 --> 00:49:05,822.090627
You know, I would have never planned that.

412
00:49:07,112.090627 --> 00:49:07,842.090627
Gosh.

413
00:49:07,952.090627 --> 00:49:34,977.089627
You know, what do you think about that? Like, what do you think about that balance between, you know, like trusting yourself and your gut, but also how do we, Hold that both hold in that like or and I know better than around me about like my truth and also I recognize and honor and understand that like, I don't know everything.

414
00:49:35,447.089627 --> 00:50:05,102.090627
And there's, you know, how do you do that dance? Yeah, I feel like for me and where I advise, like, women that I work with too is the, well, it may be, I mean, I love the NLP, um, analogy of the flashlight in the forest and like, you're only really seeing this much and all the other things you aren't seeing, but that's where I think intuition, it's like, it's not all about what you see, it's about what you feel.

415
00:50:06,432.090627 --> 00:50:07,882.090627
And for me.

416
00:50:08,467.090627 --> 00:50:23,147.090627
Intuition is also supported and led, and this may be like where other people veer off, like we all have our different beliefs, but for me, um, intuition is also led by intuition.

417
00:50:23,147.190627 --> 00:50:23,161.990627
Okay.

418
00:50:23,602.090627 --> 00:50:33,542.090627
Your spirit guides, and people on the other side who maybe you have lost, you know, and they're your loved ones, and like this team of light, like your spiritual team.

419
00:50:33,962.090627 --> 00:50:45,437.090627
So for me, your intuition is a feeling inside of you, and then beyond that, it's backed up by, or informed by, the team of light that we have behind us.

420
00:50:45,647.090627 --> 00:50:54,357.090627
And so while we can only see right in front of us in the dark with that flashlight, like our team of light and our guides can see so much more.

421
00:50:54,727.090627 --> 00:51:00,497.090627
And then we just honor that feeling that comes from the support that we get when we're plugged in and tapped into source.

422
00:51:00,997.089627 --> 00:51:06,427.090627
And then also Plugged into our bodies and like trusting in the wisdom of the body.

423
00:51:06,427.090627 --> 00:51:12,497.090627
So for me, it's like, that's how it's all married and blended.

424
00:51:12,497.090627 --> 00:51:15,487.090627
It's like, so you do just trust and follow your intuition.

425
00:51:15,957.089627 --> 00:51:20,407.090627
And I think the other beautiful thing about intuition, it's like, it's this internal compass.

426
00:51:21,107.089627 --> 00:51:24,257.090627
And so it's going to lead you in the way that you're meant to go.

427
00:51:24,987.090627 --> 00:51:27,467.090627
And then once you veer off course.

428
00:51:28,212.090627 --> 00:51:30,662.090627
You know, I mean, it might not happen as soon as you veer off course.

429
00:51:30,662.090627 --> 00:51:37,452.090627
It might take some time of meandering and trying to figure it like until suddenly you're like, where am I? Or this isn't working.

430
00:51:37,792.090627 --> 00:51:39,342.089627
You know, I feel lost now.

431
00:51:39,542.090627 --> 00:51:43,862.089627
Your intuition is the, the, the feeling that comes in to tell you that.

432
00:51:44,682.090627 --> 00:52:08,407.089627
And so it, it helps guide you into a different direction, you know? And I believe that even when things aren't working out for us and we feel resistance or we feel dissonance or we feel confusion or lack of clarity, Like, there's still a lesson that we learn, there's still some part of ourselves that, that going down that path for however long we did, it's part of building who we are.

433
00:52:09,137.090627 --> 00:52:15,842.090627
And so even if it's not going to continue to be right for us, It was still the path we needed to take.

434
00:52:15,842.090627 --> 00:52:17,832.090627
It was still the thing we needed to do.

435
00:52:18,682.090627 --> 00:52:19,502.090627
It's funny.

436
00:52:19,882.090627 --> 00:52:26,852.091627
it definitely mimics the last podcast episode I had with my friend Sarah that I told you we mentioned you in.

437
00:52:27,392.092627 --> 00:52:27,622.091627
Oh, yeah.

438
00:52:28,622.091627 --> 00:52:49,111.991627
Um, this idea that destiny is not a yes or no, it's just this inevitability and exactly what you're saying is no matter what choice you make, it can't be wrong because even if it's quote unquote, not you went against your gut or whatever, whatever happens there is such the opportunity to learn, recognize, see.

439
00:52:49,662.091627 --> 00:52:52,422.091627
Feel like, oh, I felt that I knew that I didn't do that.

440
00:52:52,432.091627 --> 00:52:58,12.091627
Or, oh, I encountered this and that's when I knew to, you know, go this way and blah, blah, blah.

441
00:52:58,392.091627 --> 00:53:03,401.991127
It's that switch up of not, I'll believe it when I see it, but I'll see it when I believe it.

442
00:53:03,992.091127 --> 00:53:13,832.090127
Waiting to see something to believe it is such a moot point because we see whatever we believe, like, we see whatever we're looking for.

443
00:53:13,832.091127 --> 00:53:48,662.090627
We're always finding evidence to support what we already, we're so, uh, redundant, just Redundant beings, like, I don't even remember the stats, but The repeated thoughts that we have in a day and our habits and this and that, that's why it's just so important to do those pauses and to take that time to understand what's going on subconsciously, recognize, hmm, why am I feeling like that? And kind of digging in instead of keeping that momentum, because you don't know where that momentum is, leaving you that is not exactly where you want to go or as intentional as you'd like to be.

444
00:53:50,662.089627 --> 00:53:51,912.090627
Yeah, yeah.

445
00:53:51,912.090627 --> 00:53:58,212.089627
And then this idea of you mentioned, like, what's wrong and what's right.

446
00:53:58,282.089627 --> 00:54:09,462.090627
And like, that nothing really is wrong, right? It just, It just starts feeling harder or it starts feeling like there's a different opening or there's a different pathway.

447
00:54:09,712.090627 --> 00:54:18,632.090627
But like, what do we think right is? Like, right is what? Like, it's no resistance.

448
00:54:19,32.089627 --> 00:54:21,92.090627
When something is right, it's easy.

449
00:54:21,612.090627 --> 00:54:27,562.090627
When something is right, it yields material, you know, riches and goods.

450
00:54:27,562.090627 --> 00:54:51,102.090627
Like, what is right? And what is, what is wrong? Like, the right thing can actually be the hard thing, but I think we feel like something's right only if it's, it creates ease and, and yeah, like, wealth or abundance of some kind, whether that's material or, you know, emotional, spiritual.

451
00:54:51,702.090627 --> 00:54:53,66.990627
Yeah, it's just, it's crazy.

452
00:54:53,317.090627 --> 00:54:56,407.090627
Everything is neither this or that.

453
00:54:56,427.090627 --> 00:55:01,377.090627
Everything is neutral, which sounds so harsh and so hard to swallow really.

454
00:55:01,777.089627 --> 00:55:02,227.089627
Because.

455
00:55:03,812.090627 --> 00:55:07,652.090627
We're human beings and like, it's really hard to think about love or life that way.

456
00:55:07,662.090627 --> 00:55:09,322.090627
It's hard to think about love that way.

457
00:55:09,612.090627 --> 00:55:13,272.090627
It's hard to think about, um, being a mom that way.

458
00:55:13,332.089627 --> 00:55:15,112.089627
it's hard to think of our children that way.

459
00:55:15,122.089627 --> 00:55:16,882.088627
Like, something, it's not right or wrong.

460
00:55:16,882.089627 --> 00:55:25,782.090627
And, seriously, one of the biggest mind blowing moments for me is like, when I pulled my head out of my ass long enough to realize, Oh, I don't, they're not my things.

461
00:55:26,222.090627 --> 00:55:26,642.090627
I don't own them.

462
00:55:26,642.090627 --> 00:55:28,32.090627
I'm only here to guide them.

463
00:55:28,142.090627 --> 00:55:29,252.090627
Like, that is it.

464
00:55:29,282.090627 --> 00:55:30,192.090627
I really.

465
00:55:30,472.090627 --> 00:55:33,772.090627
don't want to smother them, even though I really want to smother them.

466
00:55:33,772.190627 --> 00:55:51,92.091127
It's so, it's so difficult to, and beautiful, right? So like open yourself up to questioning your own instincts for labeling, you know, because I don't think there's something bad about that.

467
00:55:51,92.191127 --> 00:55:53,939.4501713
I don't think it's bad.

468
00:55:54,357.091127 --> 00:56:05,497.090127
Bad to label it, but I just think that when you let yourself do that without that, should I, should I be doing that? It just continues to like strengthen the force blinders situation.

469
00:56:05,497.091127 --> 00:56:14,627.091127
You know, I think it's just healthy now that we have to go on a diatribe every time we think anything, but I think it's just healthy to have that moment of being like, Oh, that's funny.

470
00:56:14,837.091127 --> 00:56:15,197.091127
Okay.

471
00:56:15,197.091127 --> 00:56:17,907.091127
I, I was looking to say that that was good or that was bad.

472
00:56:17,927.091127 --> 00:56:18,667.091127
And it's actually.

473
00:56:19,232.091127 --> 00:56:19,662.091127
Neither.

474
00:56:20,362.091127 --> 00:56:20,892.091127
Yeah.

475
00:56:21,522.091127 --> 00:56:22,2.091127
Yeah.

476
00:56:22,772.091127 --> 00:56:25,692.091127
Yeah, there's like comfort in categorizing.

477
00:56:26,582.091127 --> 00:56:32,582.091127
There's comfort in labeling, but it can be rather destructive, too.

478
00:56:32,592.091127 --> 00:56:37,22.091127
It's a helpful, useful tool, but it can also be a destructive mechanism.

479
00:56:37,962.091127 --> 00:56:40,592.091127
To constantly feel like it's this or it's that.

480
00:56:40,592.091127 --> 00:56:48,762.090127
Nothing in life is this or that, is it? I mean, maybe some things, but like, everything is so multifaceted and layered.

481
00:56:48,762.090127 --> 00:57:28,617.090127
What do you find in your work with women? Like, do you find there to be, um, in, in, I don't want to say an openness in interpreting it differently, but like, what do you find to be the themes of like, The, the hard and the resistance and the struggle and the, uh, is it around like, Oh, I'm looking at this as good or as bad, or is it around this theme that we were talking about of like shaming yourself or the prioritizing yourself or, you know, being the difficult or, you know, what is really something that you see in your work? Cause I know that you work with a lot of women.

482
00:57:30,517.090127 --> 00:57:31,297.090127
Yeah.

483
00:57:31,627.090127 --> 00:57:35,787.090127
I think it's like, it varies so much depending on the container.

484
00:57:36,257.090127 --> 00:58:08,257.090127
That I've created, you know, so like when I'm working with women one on one so often it's not even like I can't pin down at this moment in time like a collective concern or like issue because they come wanting so deeply to activate, they're like ready to step into themselves and this next season of their lives.

485
00:58:08,807.090127 --> 00:58:38,222.090127
In really big, mega powerful, sparkly, exciting ways, you know? and I guess if you were looking for the common theme there though, like, the theme is there's That's been something that's been stopping them or keeping them from being able to get to that next level activation that they're looking for, you know, to bring alive in their life, whatever it is that they're looking for, and they're looking for different things.

486
00:58:40,742.090127 --> 00:58:56,852.090127
And then I feel like, you know, oftentimes in the group settings, like the women's circles or the retreats that I'm, I'm holding, it's women who are looking for connect, connection, like connection to self.

487
00:58:57,897.090127 --> 00:59:18,127.090127
Really understanding and seeing themselves more deeply and wholly and accepting those parts of themselves, like they definitely come into that collective group space, um, feeling like their challenges or their obstacles or their problems are their own.

488
00:59:19,732.090127 --> 00:59:32,932.090127
But then what they find when women start sharing and being vulnerable is like, oh my goodness, like, I feel a part of my story in each and every one of these women in this space.

489
00:59:33,512.090127 --> 00:59:54,792.090127
And so they begin to feel Less alone and then it bolsters them on their journey to find it in in that moment They've already found connection, but then as they're seeking more connection in their day to day lives It's like they feel the backing and the energy of the women that they were in that space with of always like I'm not alone I'm not alone.

490
00:59:54,792.090127 --> 00:59:56,942.090127
This is a collective experience.

491
00:59:56,942.090127 --> 01:00:08,372.090127
This is part of what it's like to be human, you know and I think there is so much power in, in sharing your life and your world.

492
01:00:08,372.090127 --> 01:00:14,422.090127
I mean, going back to kind of where we started with our conversation of like, Ooh, I'm scared to tell people I've made this change.

493
01:00:14,622.090127 --> 01:00:16,12.089627
I'm scared of what they'll think of me.

494
01:00:16,12.089627 --> 01:00:19,402.090127
I'm scared of them having to bend over backwards for me.

495
01:00:19,702.090127 --> 01:00:38,482.089627
You know, um, These women come into these spaces that I hold until they get to know them well, often feeling a little shy to ask for what they need or for to state their truth, but then when they do, it's that feeling we mentioned of like, Oh, I did that.

496
01:00:38,482.089627 --> 01:00:42,82.089127
And in sharing this part of myself, I, it was an act of love.

497
01:00:42,527.090127 --> 01:00:49,737.090127
And it was an act of trust that I won't be shamed or ridiculed or an outcast, right, that I'll be accepted and I'll be supported.

498
01:00:50,377.090127 --> 01:00:57,627.090127
Um, and just how much that can shift, like, your energy in your day to day life.

499
01:00:57,667.090127 --> 01:01:05,777.090127
Like, once we hold that respect and love for ourselves, We begin to ask for it from other people in these other ways.

500
01:01:05,787.090127 --> 01:01:09,227.090127
So I feel like, you know, that's, that's a big part of what I do.

501
01:01:09,637.090127 --> 01:01:11,887.090127
Um, and that's a big part of what I see.

502
01:01:11,927.090127 --> 01:01:23,937.089127
And like, we are, we are the embodiment of that now too, just in this conversation that we had of like, Ooh, I'm scared to, to share this new thing because I, I don't fully understand it yet.

503
01:01:23,947.089127 --> 01:01:35,327.089127
And so, you know, how could I expect others to? The other theme that I do notice a lot in the women that I, that I work with, whether it's in circle or one on one, is this theme of trust.

504
01:01:35,947.090127 --> 01:02:03,192.089127
Is this theme of trusting themselves and their intuition and their feelings and You know, whether it's wanting to leave a job, whether it's wanting to connect with their spirit guides, whether it's wanting to leave a partner that's not supportive, like, whatever it is, the hold up that they often face is fully trusting themselves, their feelings, their intuition, and then going back again to that conversation of respect and love.

505
01:02:03,412.090127 --> 01:02:04,422.090127
that you have for yourself.

506
01:02:04,662.090127 --> 01:02:45,462.089127
Do I respect myself enough? Do I love myself enough? Despite my shortcomings, despite my challenges, despite the ways I make life harder for everyone because that's what we often think about ourselves, you know, can I create this shift? Can I call in what I want? Whether it's the next level activation or healing from a broken place, you know, it comes back to Can I trust myself? Can I trust the feelings that I have inside are leading me to the place I want to go and it's hardest to trust themselves when they are, when they know that they're going to be facing resistance and a challenge in some way, right? Like if it's leaving an unsupportive partner.

507
01:02:45,902.090127 --> 01:03:01,222.089127
Like, is it gonna be worth it? You know? Do I have what it takes to ride out this storm and then, when it, when the storm has passed, to build everything up anew and from scratch? Um, yeah.

508
01:03:01,272.090127 --> 01:03:16,792.090127
And again, I think that relates back to this conversation that we opened, of like, do we trust ourselves enough? Do we trust our bodies and what they're telling us? Do I trust the knowing that the information that I'm coming across here And the quickening of my heart and the feeling of possibility and hope.

509
01:03:17,162.090127 --> 01:03:54,217.089127
Is it just that I'm so desperate for hope and possibility and healing that I'm going to just do this? Or do I feel this way because this is the next part of my path and my journey forward? And what's the alternative, right? Like, do I trust myself or am I trusting everything else around me more? Like it's like, what, what are you making that mean? Like, what is it even when you're like, Oh yeah, to respect myself, what does that mean to you to respect yourself? What does that mean? Like, how, how are you, how do you action that? And like, what are those standards that you're, you're making about that? Right.

510
01:03:54,217.189127 --> 01:03:54,826.989127
Yeah.

511
01:03:54,827.089127 --> 01:03:55,407.089127
Mm hmm.

512
01:03:55,777.090127 --> 01:03:56,137.090127
Yeah.

513
01:03:57,507.090127 --> 01:04:08,192.090127
I think about how even, even the other night I almost boxed you guys, but I was, I was tired once I got home, but after I got like emotional and cried and I had, I felt myself with a vulnerability hangover a little bit.

514
01:04:08,922.090127 --> 01:04:12,272.090127
Why? I couldn't be with people I trusted more.

515
01:04:12,282.090127 --> 01:04:13,682.090127
You know, it's like there was nothing.

516
01:04:14,212.090127 --> 01:04:15,522.090127
Why? Yeah.

517
01:04:15,522.090127 --> 01:04:19,722.090127
Weird about what, what I said or whatever.

518
01:04:20,2.090127 --> 01:04:30,592.091127
And it's like, Oh, I remember like growing up, my dad would get so mad if my mom overshared something and I felt that a historical body symptoms that I'm feeling.

519
01:04:31,2.091127 --> 01:04:31,812.091127
Yeah.

520
01:04:32,922.091127 --> 01:04:48,322.091127
Yeah, yeah, and that can completely interfere with trusting yourself and what you should do, cause like, past trauma, whether it's little t or big T trauma, like, it totally affects, it imprints on us, and it can cloud our vision.

521
01:04:48,322.091127 --> 01:04:53,232.092127
And then at a certain point, don't you just feel like, ugh, I just need a nap? Yeah.

522
01:04:53,882.092127 --> 01:04:53,902.092127
Yeah.

523
01:04:54,2.092127 --> 01:04:56,352.092127
Right? Totally.

524
01:04:59,32.092127 --> 01:04:59,722.092127
Amen.

525
01:05:01,402.092127 --> 01:05:02,62.092127
I'm yawning now.

526
01:05:06,792.092127 --> 01:05:14,2.092127
And what's it all for, right? Like, we're here wildly feverishly spinning, I mean, we know what it's all for.

527
01:05:14,2.092127 --> 01:05:14,688.792127
We don't know.

528
01:05:14,688.792127 --> 01:05:15,592.092127
But it's like.

529
01:05:15,742.092127 --> 01:05:24,542.092127
You know, I mean, I, I, when I say what's it all for, I am so grateful for my life and to have the opportunity to be on earth right now.

530
01:05:24,542.092127 --> 01:05:35,596.992127
And even if it's even in its pain and shortcomings and injustice and all of that, like what a beautiful experience to be able to have.

531
01:05:35,747.092127 --> 01:05:48,837.092127
To be alive, um, to see the sun shining, to see the leaves moving with the breeze, to, you know, find symbolism in the birds that are flying across the sky or the dime that you find when you're taking a walk.

532
01:05:49,257.092127 --> 01:06:09,587.092127
Um, but yeah, when we find ourselves spinning and seeking and chasing and, ugh, like overthinking and overanalyzing and struggling, it's like, what's that all for? Yeah, and then instead of You know, lashing out you could say, Oh, that's funny.

533
01:06:09,587.092127 --> 01:06:11,167.092127
I was doing that thing again.

534
01:06:13,287.092127 --> 01:06:14,527.092127
Look at that leaf over there.

535
01:06:18,417.092127 --> 01:06:19,437.092127
Oh, man.

536
01:06:20,277.091127 --> 01:06:36,612.092127
Is there anything else that resonant or felt like something you wanted to address in this realm? As we continue on with our new lifestyle.

537
01:06:38,82.092127 --> 01:07:08,582.092127
As I sit here with watermelon, seed, flower, seed and nut things, I know I'm thinking about my heavy metal detox smoothie I'll be making after this call when I go downstairs with my wild blueberries, oranges, spirulina, wheat, barley, grass, and dulce, I don't even know how to say it, dulce flakes? Dulce flakes? I don't know? Some cilantro? It's gonna be great.

538
01:07:09,72.092127 --> 01:07:10,242.092127
Um, hmm.

539
01:07:11,512.092127 --> 01:07:12,336.992127
I think I'm done.

540
01:07:12,827.092127 --> 01:07:21,427.092127
It's so hard to pick like one thing, you know, like anything else to say, like so much to say always and also enough said already.

541
01:07:21,897.092127 --> 01:07:25,967.092127
Um, right.

542
01:07:26,17.092127 --> 01:07:28,557.092127
So much more to say and enough.

543
01:07:28,737.092127 --> 01:07:29,377.092127
It's enough.

544
01:07:30,307.092127 --> 01:07:35,57.092127
Um, I feel like there's something there to share.

545
01:07:35,57.092127 --> 01:07:38,227.092127
I think it is just this message of trust.

546
01:07:38,237.092127 --> 01:07:43,207.092127
Like, you know, when you and I were talking today about, well, what do we share? And what do we want to talk about? We're such good friends.

547
01:07:43,207.092127 --> 01:08:06,912.091127
We always have these like great layered conversations that go in all these different Spaces and one of the things that's really shifted in our lives and has, has been creating resistance and expansion and contraction and confusion and excitement and possibility and all of that is this lifestyle change, this diet change to hopefully heal these autoimmune diseases that we have.

548
01:08:07,422.092127 --> 01:08:15,832.092127
Um, and so while we were like, well, That might not be relevant to, like, everyone listening, but what is relevant is this.

549
01:08:15,862.092127 --> 01:08:25,442.092127
And I think I just want to highlight and reaffirm the themes in life that everyone can be, like, reminded of, which is, you're always changing.

550
01:08:25,672.092127 --> 01:08:26,792.092127
We are ever changing.

551
01:08:26,802.091127 --> 01:08:31,822.091127
We are humans, and we are spiritual beings, and we are always changing, and we are always evolving.

552
01:08:31,832.091127 --> 01:08:34,502.091127
And there's no shame in your actions.

553
01:08:34,752.092127 --> 01:08:35,652.092127
in your changing.

554
01:08:35,662.092127 --> 01:08:51,792.091127
There's no shame, there's nothing wrong with, there's nothing inconvenient, truly, about you learning something new and you applying it to your life, right? Like, all of the animals around us, all of the plants around us have had to adapt.

555
01:08:51,812.092127 --> 01:09:01,112.092127
They've had to adapt and change the way that they look, the way that they function, the way that they operate in order to survive on Earth in this time.

556
01:09:01,337.092127 --> 01:09:06,387.092127
Right? And we as human and spiritual beings have to do the same.

557
01:09:06,897.092127 --> 01:09:07,877.092127
We have to change.

558
01:09:07,877.092127 --> 01:09:08,967.092127
We have to adapt.

559
01:09:08,967.092127 --> 01:09:10,457.092127
We have to grow.

560
01:09:10,467.091127 --> 01:09:13,147.092127
Nothing blooms year round.

561
01:09:13,607.092127 --> 01:09:14,507.092127
Exactly.

562
01:09:14,517.092127 --> 01:09:15,187.092127
Exactly.

563
01:09:15,187.092127 --> 01:09:24,67.092127
And that's like, yes, the other big piece of the work that I do and the thing that I'm so passionate about is the cycles that we live through, that we get to live through.

564
01:09:24,67.092127 --> 01:09:29,902.092127
And so we are not, Harvest mode and production mode all the time, and we're not in full bloom all the time.

565
01:09:29,902.092127 --> 01:09:38,592.091127
We have to shed layers, we drop our leaves, we go inward, we hibernate, we're still, we're dormant and things are happening.

566
01:09:38,602.092127 --> 01:09:50,192.092127
And so, um, you know, when you make a lifestyle change or a relationship change, Um, it doesn't have to be forever, too, right? And like, things can be really going great in a relationship.

567
01:09:50,202.092127 --> 01:09:55,792.092127
Your sex life, like, can be hot and steamy, and then it can be really, like, non existent for a while.

568
01:09:56,82.091127 --> 01:10:04,197.092127
And when it's non existent, or when there's dissonance, it doesn't mean that, like, You've failed or your relationship is doomed.

569
01:10:04,207.092127 --> 01:10:50,847.092127
It means that you're in the new cycle, right? And so it's like this this Invitation to look at okay, like what either in my sex life needs to be Nurtured and loved or what other part of myself? My my physical self my emotional self or my spiritual self, maybe not even related to my relationship or sex life Needs to be looked at and nurtured and loved because like if there's other components to ourselves that aren't being looked after the way that they need to Something somewhere else in our life is going to fall out of alignment and I think gosh I mean, this is like the metaphor for health too is like In western medicine, they look at the one thing that stops functioning, right? Like, oh, your sex life is bad, metaphor, right? Or like, oh, your thyroid isn't functioning.

570
01:10:50,847.092127 --> 01:10:53,777.092127
So this is the drug and this is going to fix your problems.

571
01:10:53,957.092127 --> 01:11:03,837.092127
Well, if it actually fixed our problems, we would feel better, right? If that pill, this levothyroxine was going to fix my hypothyroidism and Hashimoto's, then I would be able to lose weight again.

572
01:11:03,877.092127 --> 01:11:05,17.092127
I would be able to.

573
01:11:05,117.092127 --> 01:11:05,837.092127
think clearly.

574
01:11:05,837.092127 --> 01:11:07,297.092127
I would be able to have great memory.

575
01:11:07,297.092127 --> 01:11:18,467.092127
I would be able to have all this energy to play with my kids more than I do now, you know, but it's not, it's a symptom of other things that are wrong, like systems that are off in the body.

576
01:11:18,827.091127 --> 01:11:32,177.092127
And so your, your sex life that might not be blooming right now, it's not just the sex that needs to be looked at, right? It's that there's something else off with you or with your partner or the environment that you're in that needs to be looked at and addressed.

577
01:11:32,187.092127 --> 01:11:34,326.992127
So I think that's like the last thing that I would say.

578
01:11:34,327.092127 --> 01:11:41,927.092127
Say for people is wherever you might be experiencing something, something in your life that feels off or where there's resistance.

579
01:11:42,247.092127 --> 01:11:44,257.092127
It's like, look underneath that thing.

580
01:11:44,267.092127 --> 01:11:48,157.091127
There's something else there and there's something else that needs to be addressed.

581
01:11:49,247.092127 --> 01:11:57,477.092127
And if you're having trouble doing that, just do this magical switcheroo and think of yourself as your best friend or as your child.

582
01:11:58,37.091127 --> 01:12:11,507.093127
So instinctually we know like if they're waking up at three o'clock every morning, we know this is a phase or I was just, you know, talking about how wretched my love of my life little son has been.

583
01:12:12,187.093127 --> 01:12:20,907.094127
I know it's a phase or like the knowing of when your kid's having a tantrum Just seeing through it and understanding oh, he's missing, he's wanting we always just.

584
01:12:21,227.094127 --> 01:12:29,747.094127
Assume like there's something underneath now or able to hold that compassion and that space for them in a different way.

585
01:12:29,757.094127 --> 01:12:39,87.094127
And it's okay, now that we're able to do that for our children or our best friends or whatever, take that perspective and apply it to yourself.

586
01:12:39,107.093127 --> 01:12:40,777.093127
That's where we forget it.

587
01:12:40,787.093127 --> 01:12:41,467.093127
That's where it's like.

588
01:12:42,207.094127 --> 01:12:47,556.994127
The hardest to do it I always said, there's this thing that I do, it's so strange.

589
01:12:47,966.994127 --> 01:12:52,356.994127
I bypassed myself as like, I feel like Houdini, it's like a magic trick.

590
01:12:52,356.994127 --> 01:13:00,766.995127
Like even when I'm in a coaching container, I'm ingesting it, I'm immediately like, Oh, how this applies to what I could share with my clients or something.

591
01:13:01,256.995127 --> 01:13:03,736.895127
I don't even let it permeate me.

592
01:13:04,136.995127 --> 01:13:06,646.995127
I'm just like, Oh, I see how that applies to this.

593
01:13:07,36.995127 --> 01:13:09,986.995127
But like I bypassed myself in the weirdest way.

594
01:13:10,6.995127 --> 01:13:16,956.995127
Could read a thousand million books with the intention of looking at your children or your relationships or your whatever.

595
01:13:17,46.995127 --> 01:13:27,836.993627
But those seeds, those roots need to take place in you before you could effectively and cleanly and clearly apply it in other areas of your life because you are the.

596
01:13:27,836.993627 --> 01:13:28,436.993627
Everything.

597
01:13:28,896.993627 --> 01:13:29,496.993627
Yes.

598
01:13:29,906.993627 --> 01:13:33,896.993627
Oh my gosh, I resonate so much with that, Cher, too.

599
01:13:33,976.993627 --> 01:13:36,496.992627
I have done that so many times.

600
01:13:36,506.993627 --> 01:13:37,576.993627
So many times.

601
01:13:37,996.993627 --> 01:14:00,616.993627
Not like, oh, what in me needs healing? What in me needs this bit of information or this knowledge, this wisdom, but how can I help others with it? How can I outsource it? So like, yeah, just again, coming back to that theme of, you know, Self respect, like respecting self, loving self, you know, and not just immediately going into that caretaking of others.

602
01:14:00,616.993627 --> 01:14:01,26.993627
Yeah.

603
01:14:02,866.993627 --> 01:14:09,696.993627
Well, it has been an absolute pleasure speaking with you today, as always.

604
01:14:10,416.992627 --> 01:14:15,856.993627
Um, all of The contact info for either of us will be in the show notes.

605
01:14:17,66.993627 --> 01:14:20,666.993627
I think we're both going to share this on both of our shows.

606
01:14:20,746.993627 --> 01:14:26,16.993627
Steph is Little Scraps of Magic podcast, and I am Help Me See podcast.

607
01:14:26,816.993627 --> 01:14:33,336.992627
And, um, yeah, is there anything else? I just, you're opening.

608
01:14:33,756.993627 --> 01:14:36,486.993627
Uh, you're or you're about to close a container soon.

609
01:14:36,666.993627 --> 01:14:48,966.993627
Oh, yeah, I don't know when this is going out But um, june 5th is when i'm starting my next six month local to cleveland Women's circle program.

610
01:14:48,966.993627 --> 01:14:51,526.993627
It's a six month program for up to eight women.

611
01:14:51,526.993627 --> 01:14:54,726.993627
We have four five spots filled with three spots left.

612
01:14:54,726.993627 --> 01:15:05,486.993627
So women who want some sacredness infused back into their lives and ceremony and ritual, but also good hearted, spontaneous fun and play.

613
01:15:05,786.993627 --> 01:15:07,751.893627
It's the beautiful marriage of those three.

614
01:15:07,801.993627 --> 01:15:10,801.993627
Things and it's, you know, women within your local community.

615
01:15:10,801.993627 --> 01:15:15,941.993627
So the, we start the six month journey on June 5th, it's called the village.

616
01:15:15,971.993627 --> 01:15:17,981.993627
And this is my third time running it.

617
01:15:18,441.993627 --> 01:15:25,981.993627
Four of the five women in have already done it before and just want to keep going, want to keep riding the journey.

618
01:15:26,1.993627 --> 01:15:31,901.993627
And the fifth that just added, uh, came from some of my women's circles and a retreat I hosted and was same thing.

619
01:15:31,901.993627 --> 01:15:33,21.993627
Like this was so powerful.

620
01:15:33,21.993627 --> 01:15:33,581.993627
I need it.

621
01:15:34,181.993627 --> 01:15:41,891.993627
In my life, like consistently, um, but yeah, if you're listening, if this goes out, um, you can definitely go out for me next week.

622
01:15:41,901.993627 --> 01:15:43,61.993627
So it'll go on the 29th.

623
01:15:43,101.992627 --> 01:15:47,71.993627
So you will have a local to Cleveland.

624
01:15:47,291.993627 --> 01:15:50,221.993627
Um, to join that the link will be in the show notes.

625
01:15:50,691.992627 --> 01:15:51,701.992627
Yeah.

626
01:15:52,11.992627 --> 01:16:00,116.993627
Anything you want me to share in mind? Um, I'll probably just like, word it nicely and be like, Bianca has blah, blah, blah.

627
01:16:01,136.993627 --> 01:16:03,396.993627
Yeah, you'll word it way more nicely than I would.

628
01:16:03,666.993627 --> 01:16:05,876.993627
Yes, my sacred seeing membership for creatives.

629
01:16:06,306.993627 --> 01:16:11,776.993627
Once a week, we come together and we co work and connect and support each other.

630
01:16:12,171.993627 --> 01:16:31,381.993627
And then, um, my newest offering that I am on fire about is I offer remote photo sessions from anywhere in the world at this point, and, um, I'm especially looking to focus on emerging artists, people that whatever your craft is, I want to talk about it and find a way to capture you in your flow and your presence and in your genius.

631
01:16:32,641.993627 --> 01:17:01,971.993627
Yes, and I have lived, I have lived Bianca's gift, like she is so incredible at what she does, and I haven't done a remote session with her because I'm lucky enough to be local, but also if you are a local Clevelander and you're looking for someone to document your life with the absolute, the reverence that it deserves, um, and the nostalgia in these moments now to really be able to feel that and see that through the work, you have to reach out to Bianca because she's next level genius.

632
01:17:03,186.993627 --> 01:17:03,626.993627
Thank you.

633
01:17:03,626.993627 --> 01:17:05,686.993627
My love open invitation.

634
01:17:05,696.993627 --> 01:17:06,436.993627
Anytime.

635
01:17:06,706.993627 --> 01:17:07,726.993627
Come back on the podcast.

636
01:17:08,156.993627 --> 01:17:08,696.993627
Oh yeah.

637
01:17:08,696.993627 --> 01:17:10,156.993627
Let's just do another one tomorrow.

638
01:17:12,232.993627 --> 01:17:15,452.993627
This has been an Awkward Sage Production.