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Dec. 26, 2024
Heavy Christmas Bubbles
Every Christmas I'm left with the strange remorse of not having achieved this elusive feeling I yearn for.
Surely I'm missing it by looking for it, but I cannot help it.
It's all I've ever known.
This perpetual homesickness for a feeling I've never felt .
I grasp for moments like chasing bubbles.
Only for it to vanish in the moment of contact…
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Transcript
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Every Christmas I'm left with the strange remorse of not having achieved this elusive feeling I yearn for.
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00:00:07,410 --> 00:00:10,830
Surely I'm missing it by looking for it, but I cannot help it.
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It's all I've ever known.
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This perpetual homesickness for a feeling I've never felt I grasped for moments like chasing bubbles.
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Only for it to vanish in the moment of contact.
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Help Me See is a podcast dedicated to the art of seeing.
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It's a space for the restless visionary with an insatiable desire to create the life and work you're meant for.
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My name is Bianca Lea Mora, and I'm a photographic artist, a mother, and a coach who's transformed my fear of loss into power, art, and philosophy.
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One of the scariest quotes I never want to say is, I wish I knew at the time, but I truly believe that we have the innate ability to bring our wise 2020 hindsight to our now.
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You can deeply experience your nostalgia now, while it's actually happening, with no regrets.
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All you have to do is see.
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In this show, we laugh, we cry, we get inspired, we overshare, we have life changing conversations around making meaning, self discovery, and shedding all the BS layers in order to reconnect to our own sacred vision.
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Seeing yourself is an essential key to living powerfully.
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You are the vessel, the lens that filters absolutely everything in your life.
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What are you filtering for? Whether it be conversations with fellow artists and visionaries, or my solo audio journal style introspective ramblings, each episode is meant to feel like an exhale, an unraveling of truth, a moment for you to be able to put your finger on something that you haven't been able to for far too long.
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Come exactly as you are.
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It's perfect.
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Honor your instincts.
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Let's uncover some of the most important things in our lives which all too often can slip out from our view.
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Let's commit to seeing and consciously creating what only you can in your one and only life.
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Let's dive in.
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Hello.
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Hello and welcome to another episode of helped me see.
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Happy holidays.
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Whenever you celebrate, I'm hoping you had a beautiful holiday time filled with.
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Yami coziness.
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And.
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All of the.
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Joy and.
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Peace and love and light.
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Today is December 26th and.
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This morning, I Woke up and wrote a poem.
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Of sorts.
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I don't know.
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I still feel uncomfortable calling.
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The writing anything at this point, but I recently joined a.
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Poetry community and, um, It's definitely been inspiring me and sending me through all sorts of spirals.
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I keep thinking when I'm listening to.
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The gorgeous, uh, poetry readings and the analysis and the pulling of the threads.
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I keep thinking about how.
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Oh, my gosh.
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It's like, I know this language.
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In.
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Imagery.
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I know this language visually.
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But I don't know this language.
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With words.
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I don't know this language with language.
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Oops.
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Something that.
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Specifically bothers me and, um, I've been since unpacking one of my last posts about how photography has betrayed me.
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Um, It feels like I've been using photography.
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And visual art in general, as a crutch at times.
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I think it's definitely a healthy, beautiful.
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Way of expression and.
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It's therapeutic and it's enlightening and emboldening and all the things.
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And also.
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It allows me to.
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Touch the feeling and be like, oh, there it is.
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And walk away.
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And I want.
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To articulate it within myself in a different way.
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That's what I'm craving.
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So.
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I've been writing a lot more.
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So here is this morning's writing.
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It's called Christmas bubbles.
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Every Christmas I'm left with the strange remorse of not having achieved this elusive feeling I yearn for.
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Surely I'm missing it by looking for it, but I cannot help it.
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It's all I've ever known.
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This perpetual homesickness for a feeling I've never felt.
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Nowhere, but here.
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I grasped for moments like chasing bubbles.
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Only for it to vanish in the moment of contact.
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But what if I dip myself in what bubbles are made of? Only to touch it.
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Mere moments longer.
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And in those mere moments, I frantically searched my soul.
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Taking in the delicate magnificence as I try to feel for the spot inside, that feels.
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The spot that knows.
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The spot that recognizes.
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The counterpart of Christmas bubbles.
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Like looking through a viewfinder.
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My whole body knows.
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To press the shutter.
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The catharsis of synthesizing inside and outside.
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But alas, it's the same amount of time to take a picture as it is to pop a bubble.
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You finally reached.
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Except now you have the residue of a picture.
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To hold comfort console, astound and torture.
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You.
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It's there and gone alive and dead at once.
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Brought back to life only by my ability to touch that part inside my body.
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Again.
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But it is moved and morphed and melted into something unrecognizable.
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I could drown myself in bubbles only to disappear in an instant.
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Reaching for bubbles, like reaching for a single day all year.
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Both a shell of a space available everywhere.
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And at all times, Just like pictures.
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Only alive through the life inside of me.
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I was scrolling on Instagram after I read this.
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And, um, There's a quote that I came across.
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They give me that gives me mixed feelings, especially coming from a visual arts background.
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Um, it's by a photographer.
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Lovely photographer.
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It says, um, To suggest is to create.
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And to describe is to destroy.
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It's by Robert, how do I say his last name? Robert.
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I'm going to butcher it.
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D O I S N E a U.
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Um, and, you know, I.
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Agree to an extent, but it also.
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Feels so.
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Gray.
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To suggest is to create.
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To describe as to just dry.
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To suggest does feel.
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Expansive and iterative and.
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Open, like you're coming from and then to describe.
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Most certainly is.
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Boiling things down and constricting and specifying.
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But I also find such relief.
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In.
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That specificity.
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I find such relief in.
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When someone describes something so specific and eliminate so much.
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Of the outside.
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And it describes something that helps me put a finger on, you know helps me scratch the itch inside of me.
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Through the words that they were using.
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And.
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I think this effort to.
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Challenge myself with a medium that.
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Doesn't allow me.
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To point it'd be like, We're there to, there it is.
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There it is.
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There it is.
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It depends on me to come.
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To something.
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And create from nothing.
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And create the words that it demands that I.
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Go first.
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In this coming new year, I.
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Because of this I'm.
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Challenging myself to explore other mediums.
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And of course, I will continue to taking pictures.
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But I'm.
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Going to gift myself with.
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A very literal beginner's mind, not the, from a philosophical standpoint of.
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Yes.
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I know if I just sit down in the seat of consciousness of a beginner's mind, like everything is new all the time.
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Doesn't matter if I've been taking photos for.
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Decades, right.
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But a philosophical.
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Beginner's mind is very different from a.
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I don't know what the fuck I'm doing at all beginner's mind.
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And that's what I'm looking for in.
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Um, the poetry classes I'm taking and that's what I'll be looking for.
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And unavoidably experiencing in the singing classes, I'm going to be taking singing and piano.
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Which.
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I don't know why, but it feels embarrassing to say, which is so strange.
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I.
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Something feels extraordinarily vulnerable about it.
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And.
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You know, for someone that's been extraordinarily vulnerable.
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Like on a microphone for years.
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Um, via podcast, uh, It perplexes me.
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But it's definitely a different.
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It's just a different space.
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But coming back to Christmas, bubbles, It really does.
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The line that came to me um, the catharsis of synthesizing inside and outside.
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I think that's really.
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The root of.
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A lot of the discontent and the unrest that I can feel.
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It's just that.
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I know what it feels like.
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When I'm moving through my life and I see something and I.
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Touch the shatter take the picture.
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It's like this very physical.
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Emotional.
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Creative.
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Um, It's like an aligning of everything in a second.
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And then it's gone.
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Wakening awakening the part inside of you.
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That most deeply recognizes the thing you're looking at.
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And.
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It feels like I'm.
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Really wanting to.
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Be able to recognize and understand.
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The part inside of me.
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First without needing an outside experience or representation to draw it out of me.
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You know, it's, it's reminds me of.
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How, um, it can be really unhealthy in a relationship if you depend on the other person too.
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Bring happiness to you or.
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You look to them to make you feel a certain way.
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Like two halves of a whole.
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Dismissing the wholeness within yourself.
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It feels like.
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I do that.
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With life.
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Like I'm looking.
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I'm pleading with life too.
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Validate me and to comfort me.
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And to show me, see.
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I don't know what, see what I don't know, but see.
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This.
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Okay.
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I'm looking forward to pat me on the back.
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Yeah.
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It's okay.
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Yeah.
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See.
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And I, I'm not saying like, I don't even know.
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I'm not saying it as like a critique.
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I'm not saying it as I know this is wrong.
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Maybe it's just human nature.
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I don't, I don't know.
216
00:14:44,283.33333333 --> 00:14:46,113.33333333
I just feel particularly.
217
00:14:48,393.33333333 --> 00:14:50,883.33333333
Aware and an easy about it.
218
00:15:03,243.33333333 --> 00:15:04,953.33333333
And we hear with all this talk around.
219
00:15:05,313.33333333 --> 00:15:14,703.33333333
Manifestation and like, When you're on the same vibration as something else, like that's when it's attracted to you, that's when it's feels the most natural and.
220
00:15:16,113.33333333 --> 00:15:16,263.33333333
Yeah.
221
00:15:16,263.33333333 --> 00:15:18,363.33333333
I thought about that when I was thinking about how.
222
00:15:20,373.33333333 --> 00:15:22,263.33333333
You can hold a bubble longer.
223
00:15:22,293.33333333 --> 00:15:26,133.33333333
If your hand is dipped in that soapy water, right.
224
00:15:26,133.33333333 --> 00:15:29,43.33333333
Is it because it can rest on that surface.
225
00:15:30,873.33333333 --> 00:15:33,963.33333333
Because that surface is the same as it.
226
00:15:42,333.33333333 --> 00:15:45,3.33333333
But even with that, it only lasts a certain amount of time.
227
00:15:51,33.33333333 --> 00:15:52,173.33333333
And then it pops.
228
00:15:53,673.33333333 --> 00:15:55,983.33333333
But inside of it as the same thing, that's.
229
00:15:58,113.33333333 --> 00:15:58,893.33333333
Everywhere.
230
00:15:59,343.33333333 --> 00:16:06,693.33333333
Surrounding us, right? Like what makes a bubble? It's like the tiny, like what, I wonder what the measurement is of.
231
00:16:07,593.33333333 --> 00:16:09,243.33333333
The surface of a bubble.
232
00:16:09,333.33333333 --> 00:16:10,293.33333333
Let me see if I can find that.
233
00:16:11,763.33333333 --> 00:16:12,483.33333333
How.
234
00:16:13,353.33333333 --> 00:16:18,873.33333333
It is the surface of a bubble.
235
00:16:20,283.33333333 --> 00:16:26,193.33333333
Ah, The surface of a bubble.
236
00:16:26,193.33333333 --> 00:16:37,323.33333333
Typically a soap bubble is incredibly thin measuring only a few hundred nanometers thick, which is roughly the same thickness as a wavelength of visible light.
237
00:16:37,743.33333333 --> 00:16:42,423.3333333
Meaning it's essentially as thin as a single LightWave.
238
00:16:44,703.3333333 --> 00:16:45,963.3333333
Oh, my God.
239
00:16:55,113.3333333 --> 00:16:55,923.3333333
Of course.
240
00:16:56,223.3333333 --> 00:16:57,933.3333333
It's compared to light.
241
00:16:58,713.3333333 --> 00:17:01,293.3333333
A bubble consist of a thin layer of water.
242
00:17:02,133.3333333 --> 00:17:05,733.3333333
Sandwiched between two layers of soap molecules.
243
00:17:06,93.3333333 --> 00:17:07,563.3333333
Creating the film.
244
00:17:08,433.3333333 --> 00:17:10,173.3333333
That holds the air inside.
245
00:17:10,743.3333333 --> 00:17:12,453.3333333
Of course, there's film in this.
246
00:17:15,303.3333333 --> 00:17:16,353.3333333
Oh, my God.
247
00:17:17,613.3333333 --> 00:17:24,3.3333333
The thinness of the bubble film causes light to interfere with itself.
248
00:17:24,603.3333333 --> 00:17:28,443.3333333
Resulting in the rainbow, like colors we see on bubbles.
249
00:17:43,863.3333333 --> 00:17:46,203.3333333
The thinness of the bubble film.
250
00:17:46,773.3333333 --> 00:17:49,923.3333333
Causes light to interfere with itself.
251
00:17:52,443.3333333 --> 00:17:54,783.3333333
Resulting in rainbow colors.
252
00:17:54,813.3333333 --> 00:17:55,443.3333333
We see.
253
00:18:08,433.3333333 --> 00:18:10,233.3333333
So emotional.
254
00:18:11,493.3333333 --> 00:18:15,603.3333333
Um, I certainly feel like I'm interfering with myself.
255
00:18:17,193.3333333 --> 00:18:21,963.3333333
Um, Uh, and also just for context.
256
00:18:22,533.3333333 --> 00:18:24,453.3333333
About my bubble tears right now.
257
00:18:24,543.3333333 --> 00:18:26,133.3333333
Um, We.
258
00:18:28,503.3333333 --> 00:18:32,853.3333333
The boys for Christmas, got a room makeover and.
259
00:18:35,43.3333333 --> 00:18:36,603.3333333
The door was locked and it said.
260
00:18:37,173.3333333 --> 00:18:38,853.3333333
Uh, Christmas magic is happening.
261
00:18:38,853.3333333 --> 00:18:42,483.3333333
And, uh, They were trying to look under the door.
262
00:18:43,173.3333333 --> 00:18:43,983.3333333
Cassius said.
263
00:18:45,93.3333333 --> 00:18:50,823.3333333
That he felt like he saw rainbows and that Tyson was probably in there working on his Christmas present.
264
00:18:51,633.3333333 --> 00:18:54,633.3333333
Because Tyson now is all the rainbows we see are Tyson.
265
00:18:55,803.3333333 --> 00:19:00,373.3333333
Um, so now as I.
266
00:19:02,173.3333333 --> 00:19:02,923.3333333
Well think of.
267
00:19:03,433.3333333 --> 00:19:04,633.3333333
Bubbles as.
268
00:19:04,633.3333333 --> 00:19:06,433.3333333
Light fighting with itself.
269
00:19:08,623.3333333 --> 00:19:09,343.3333333
In a film.
270
00:19:13,633.3333333 --> 00:19:16,93.3333333
Underneath that film inside.
271
00:19:16,813.3333333 --> 00:19:19,933.3333333
Inside and literally inside the bubble.
272
00:19:20,443.3333333 --> 00:19:21,763.3333333
It's the same stuff.
273
00:19:22,483.3333333 --> 00:19:23,443.3333333
That is everywhere.
274
00:19:24,763.3333333 --> 00:19:25,183.3333333
Err.
275
00:19:30,433.3333333 --> 00:19:31,243.3333333
It's everywhere.
276
00:19:31,243.3333333 --> 00:19:32,863.3333333
And yet you're looking for.
277
00:19:34,243.3333333 --> 00:19:35,293.3333333
Reaching for.
278
00:19:35,773.3333333 --> 00:19:36,283.3333333
This.
279
00:19:38,113.3333333 --> 00:19:38,953.3333333
Elusive.
280
00:19:42,703.3333333 --> 00:19:44,833.3333333
A few hundred nanometers thick.
281
00:19:46,213.3333333 --> 00:19:46,813.3333333
Surface.
282
00:19:47,623.3333333 --> 00:19:48,493.3333333
Of a thing.
283
00:19:49,483.3333333 --> 00:19:51,73.3333333
That has only made visible.
284
00:19:53,873.3333333 --> 00:19:55,553.3333333
By a single LightWave.
285
00:19:59,283.3333333 --> 00:20:00,423.3333333
Once you touch it.
286
00:20:01,773.3333333 --> 00:20:02,553.3333333
It's gone.
287
00:20:06,573.3333333 --> 00:20:12,993.3333333
Extract that to It's a shell.
288
00:20:13,263.3333333 --> 00:20:13,593.3333333
Right.
289
00:20:15,933.3333333 --> 00:20:17,493.3333333
Reaching for the shell.
290
00:20:18,723.3333333 --> 00:20:20,223.3333333
And inside the shell.
291
00:20:20,583.3333333 --> 00:20:22,893.3333333
If we were even able to hold it and open it.
292
00:20:23,913.3333333 --> 00:20:24,693.3333333
It's like, imagine.
293
00:20:25,113.3333333 --> 00:20:28,773.3333333
If you were able to take a bubble, hold it and then open it up.
294
00:20:29,613.3333333 --> 00:20:30,543.3333333
It would look empty.
295
00:20:31,23.3333333 --> 00:20:33,63.3333333
Because it's full of everything.
296
00:20:33,63.3333333 --> 00:20:33,903.3333333
That's all around.
297
00:20:33,903.3333333 --> 00:20:34,743.3333333
You already.
298
00:20:36,603.3333333 --> 00:20:37,893.3333333
I mean, what a mind fuck.
299
00:20:40,83.3333333 --> 00:20:40,233.3333333
Yeah.
300
00:20:40,263.3333333 --> 00:20:42,543.3333333
Think about the shell of a day.
301
00:20:43,53.3333333 --> 00:20:47,223.3333333
The Christmas shell that is the day of December 25th.
302
00:20:48,453.3333333 --> 00:20:50,43.3333333
And I get to de.
303
00:20:50,973.3333333 --> 00:20:51,963.3333333
And I'm like, Ugh.
304
00:20:53,283.3333333 --> 00:20:55,593.3333333
I don't feel the way I want to feel.
305
00:20:59,253.3333333 --> 00:21:00,63.3333333
It's like it's.
306
00:21:03,513.3333333 --> 00:21:04,503.3333333
I saw quote.
307
00:21:05,373.3333333 --> 00:21:06,333.3333333
I don't know who said it.
308
00:21:07,803.3333333 --> 00:21:10,773.3333333
The idea that it's just too much and not enough.
309
00:21:12,573.3333333 --> 00:21:14,343.3333333
At the same time and.
310
00:21:18,873.3333333 --> 00:21:22,233.3333333
It's overwhelming and it's frustrating, but it's so comforting.
311
00:21:22,233.3333333 --> 00:21:24,843.3333333
It's like, it's all always here.
312
00:21:26,343.3333333 --> 00:21:29,613.3333333
Just like the picture means nothing and everything.
313
00:21:31,953.3333333 --> 00:21:38,523.3333333
How alive is the person looking at it? What parts.
314
00:21:39,603.3333333 --> 00:21:43,983.3333333
What is the counterpart inside of you that is able to see and witness.
315
00:21:45,123.3333333 --> 00:21:46,173.3333333
What's in front of you.
316
00:21:47,283.3333333 --> 00:21:48,63.3333333
At all times.
317
00:21:52,363.3333333 --> 00:21:57,13.3333333
It feels like I've come full circle in this, um, I am in the middle of.
318
00:21:59,83.3333333 --> 00:22:03,973.3333333
Recreating my original like flagship course manifest your memories.
319
00:22:04,933.3333333 --> 00:22:08,503.3333333
About using photography or photographic practice, rather as.
320
00:22:09,313.3333333 --> 00:22:10,513.3333333
This means to.
321
00:22:11,773.3333333 --> 00:22:16,843.3333333
Like sinking your teeth into your life, vision, and being able to.
322
00:22:18,523.3333333 --> 00:22:22,633.3333333
Really extract this version of presence that feels.
323
00:22:23,563.3333333 --> 00:22:25,753.3333333
Conscious and unconscious and.
324
00:22:26,743.3333333 --> 00:22:31,213.3333333
Um, effortless and intentional at the same time.
325
00:22:31,273.3333333 --> 00:22:33,463.3333333
And that's the gift in.
326
00:22:35,503.3333333 --> 00:22:36,373.3333333
In the best of it.
327
00:22:36,373.3333333 --> 00:22:40,963.3333333
That's like if that photography gives me and I'm in that recreation, I've been.
328
00:22:41,953.3333333 --> 00:22:45,823.3333333
Putting some of those practices from that course into play in my daily life.
329
00:22:46,903.3333333 --> 00:22:51,43.3333333
You know, just in a healthy way, just coming back to like, does this still hold.
330
00:22:51,523.3333333 --> 00:22:52,873.3333333
Does this still hold true.
331
00:22:53,983.3333333 --> 00:23:04,153.3333333
Or is this like a bubble that when I touch it, It just appears and I'm like, oh, I don't, I don't, I guess this is something that does need to be recreated.
332
00:23:04,153.3333333 --> 00:23:04,663.3333333
Maybe.
333
00:23:05,263.3333333 --> 00:23:06,913.3333333
It doesn't hold its weight anymore.
334
00:23:07,3.3333333 --> 00:23:10,993.3333333
And, um, I'm happy to say that.
335
00:23:11,803.3333333 --> 00:23:12,913.3333333
It most certainly.
336
00:23:13,903.3333333 --> 00:23:14,473.3333333
Has.
337
00:23:16,303.3333333 --> 00:23:21,13.3333333
You know, When the kids are in the basement with the door open and I can hear them.
338
00:23:30,973.3333333 --> 00:23:33,943.3333333
I think I hear that he's calling me right now from outside the room.
339
00:23:37,963.3333333 --> 00:23:38,833.3333333
Yes, buddy.
340
00:23:39,583.3333333 --> 00:23:40,243.3333333
Give me your.
341
00:23:42,223.3333333 --> 00:23:43,93.3333333
You can come in.
342
00:23:45,153.3333333 --> 00:23:46,203.3333333
The door is open, baby.
343
00:23:48,633.3333333 --> 00:23:48,843.3333333
Hi.
344
00:23:49,773.3333333 --> 00:23:50,193.3333333
Come here.
345
00:23:55,113.3333333 --> 00:23:55,203.3333333
Yeah.
346
00:23:56,223.3333333 --> 00:23:56,583.3333333
Come here.
347
00:23:57,273.3333333 --> 00:23:58,173.3333333
Tell me in the mic.
348
00:23:59,523.3333333 --> 00:23:59,883.3333333
Hi.
349
00:24:00,753.3333333 --> 00:24:01,473.3333333
How.
350
00:24:03,423.3333333 --> 00:24:07,683.3333333
What do you want to show me? Your robot named.
351
00:24:08,493.3333333 --> 00:24:09,483.3333333
His name is Jr.
352
00:24:10,113.3333333 --> 00:24:14,583.3333333
Can you speak in the mic? Can you tell, um, I'm recording a podcast episode.
353
00:24:14,763.3333333 --> 00:24:17,283.3333333
Um, my mom.
354
00:24:18,663.3333333 --> 00:24:20,913.3333333
I've had death episode.
355
00:24:20,973.3333333 --> 00:24:28,623.3333333
Do you know what that is? That means I record my thoughts onto here and then other people in the world listen to it.
356
00:24:28,653.3333333 --> 00:24:31,113.3333333
They press play and they listen to it on their headphones.
357
00:24:32,733.3333333 --> 00:24:35,283.3333333
I love you.
358
00:24:35,763.3333333 --> 00:24:36,393.3333333
The mic buddy.
359
00:24:37,113.3333333 --> 00:24:37,653.3333333
I love you.
360
00:24:38,463.3333333 --> 00:24:39,543.3333333
What do you want to show me? Here.
361
00:24:39,693.3333333 --> 00:24:39,963.3333333
Hold on.
362
00:24:40,923.3333333 --> 00:24:41,313.3333333
The sun.
363
00:24:42,93.3333333 --> 00:24:42,243.3333333
Yeah.
364
00:24:43,53.3333333 --> 00:24:43,563.3333333
Now talk.
365
00:24:43,613.3333333 --> 00:24:51,813.3333333
What was your favorite part of Christmas? Did daddy finish your robot? Yeah.
366
00:24:52,203.3333333 --> 00:24:53,43.3333333
Well, yeah.
367
00:24:53,463.3333333 --> 00:24:54,933.3333333
I'm trying to fit me.
368
00:24:56,193.3333333 --> 00:25:00,213.3333333
Are you trying to connect him on his phone? So we could play him.
369
00:25:00,933.3333333 --> 00:25:03,303.3333333
I move them, but I'm not sure if he can move.
370
00:25:03,843.3333333 --> 00:25:06,3.3333333
I mean, I'm not sure he could talk.
371
00:25:06,663.3333333 --> 00:25:07,893.3333333
Well, I guess we got to see.
372
00:25:07,893.3333333 --> 00:25:08,943.3333333
I'll be right there, baby.
373
00:25:10,533.3333333 --> 00:25:10,713.3333333
Yes.
374
00:25:11,73.3333333 --> 00:25:11,913.3333333
You have the bus.
375
00:25:11,973.3333333 --> 00:25:13,143.3333333
Mommy in the world.
376
00:25:13,353.3333333 --> 00:25:13,413.3333333
If you.
377
00:25:13,653.3333333 --> 00:25:20,223.3333333
Oh, You good.
378
00:25:21,903.3333333 --> 00:25:24,693.3333333
I interrupt this programming for life.
379
00:25:24,813.3333333 --> 00:25:25,113.3333333
So.
380
00:25:25,263.3333333 --> 00:25:25,953.3333333
I'll be right back.
381
00:25:29,332.8344671 --> 00:25:30,22.8344671
Okay.
382
00:25:30,202.8344671 --> 00:25:32,632.8344671
That'd be right back, turned into a couple hours.
383
00:25:33,802.8344671 --> 00:25:34,852.8344671
Surprise surprise.
384
00:25:35,602.8344671 --> 00:25:39,382.8344671
I ended up reheating a, an egg.
385
00:25:39,802.8344671 --> 00:25:43,372.8344671
Bake that I made for Christmas yesterday.
386
00:25:43,592.8344671 --> 00:25:50,282.8344671
And then I put some monkey bread in the oven that I made yesterday that was like hanging out in the fridge because.
387
00:25:51,362.8344671 --> 00:25:54,212.8344671
Um, A lot of our family members got sick.
388
00:25:54,212.8344671 --> 00:25:55,592.8344671
So we had to postpone.
389
00:25:55,982.8344671 --> 00:25:58,52.8344671
Our Christmas festivities and.
390
00:25:59,252.8344671 --> 00:26:00,962.8344671
So that was just hanging out in the fridge.
391
00:26:01,442.8344671 --> 00:26:09,602.8344671
Um, And in that time that I was gone.
392
00:26:10,712.8344671 --> 00:26:11,282.8344671
Aye.
393
00:26:12,32.8344671 --> 00:26:14,342.8344671
It was recording a video of.
394
00:26:15,662.8344671 --> 00:26:18,152.8344671
My dog through the blur of flowers.
395
00:26:18,182.8344671 --> 00:26:20,732.8344671
And then my son scooted over to me.
396
00:26:22,352.8344671 --> 00:26:23,792.8344671
On his new blue scooter.
397
00:26:23,882.8344671 --> 00:26:24,632.8344671
It was so cute.
398
00:26:25,472.8344671 --> 00:26:27,362.8344671
And I turned the camera to him.
399
00:26:28,82.8344671 --> 00:26:34,412.8344671
And it focused for a second, but then it had a hard time tracking him and he scooted away and.
400
00:26:37,172.8344671 --> 00:26:44,282.8344671
The vision of the forced blur, the blur that happens through a camera through your phone camera, whatever it is.
401
00:26:48,842.8344671 --> 00:26:49,412.8344671
It's like.
402
00:26:51,92.8344671 --> 00:26:54,482.8344671
The most wonderful reframe, the most wonderful.
403
00:26:57,272.8344671 --> 00:26:58,232.8344671
Mistake.
404
00:26:59,162.8344671 --> 00:26:59,852.8344671
That is.
405
00:27:00,152.8344671 --> 00:27:01,532.8344671
Anything, but it's.
406
00:27:05,132.8344671 --> 00:27:09,542.8344671
It just pulled me so deep into that moment and I ended up making a real.
407
00:27:10,592.8344671 --> 00:27:15,962.8344671
Where I said, what did I say? Sometimes the blur helps let the blur help you see.
408
00:27:16,952.8344671 --> 00:27:17,492.8344671
And.
409
00:27:20,612.8344671 --> 00:27:22,442.8344671
Just that moment reminded me.
410
00:27:23,272.8344671 --> 00:27:24,982.8344671
Reminded me to like lean in.
411
00:27:25,462.8344671 --> 00:27:26,362.8344671
Lean into the.
412
00:27:29,122.8344671 --> 00:27:30,322.8344671
Interference.
413
00:27:31,552.8344671 --> 00:27:31,942.8344671
Right.
414
00:27:31,972.8344671 --> 00:27:32,392.8344671
Like.
415
00:27:33,742.8344671 --> 00:27:38,272.8344671
Just because there is interference doesn't mean it's bad just because.
416
00:27:40,162.8344671 --> 00:27:42,532.8344671
The light is interfering with itself.
417
00:27:44,92.8344671 --> 00:27:46,522.8344671
Doesn't mean it's bad in the bubbles case.
418
00:27:46,522.8344671 --> 00:27:48,472.8344671
It results in a rainbow.
419
00:27:52,492.8344671 --> 00:27:55,682.8344671
And this squabbling, I find myself doing so often.
420
00:27:59,582.8344671 --> 00:28:04,202.8344671
It's like, I'm so aware of how discontent I'm so aware of how restless I am.
421
00:28:04,202.8344671 --> 00:28:05,132.8344671
I'm so aware.
422
00:28:05,702.8344671 --> 00:28:06,152.8344671
Of.
423
00:28:07,892.8344671 --> 00:28:09,2.8344671
Awareness.
424
00:28:09,452.8344671 --> 00:28:11,522.8344671
That it, I let it get in the way.
425
00:28:17,222.8344671 --> 00:28:22,52.8344671
When in fact that's the biggest gift, right? But it's like a.
426
00:28:23,552.8344671 --> 00:28:25,202.8344671
The top of a pin, like.
427
00:28:25,982.8344671 --> 00:28:26,462.8344671
Or the.
428
00:28:27,422.8344671 --> 00:28:29,822.8344671
The width of a bubble.
429
00:28:33,182.8344671 --> 00:28:35,462.8344671
It is a few hundred nanometers.
430
00:28:35,462.8344671 --> 00:28:36,452.8344671
Of a.
431
00:28:36,452.8344671 --> 00:28:37,622.8344671
coin swap of.
432
00:28:39,302.8344671 --> 00:28:45,662.8344671
Is it going to hinder you or is it going to help you? So.
433
00:28:46,532.8344671 --> 00:28:49,592.8344671
In my last podcast episode of.
434
00:28:50,342.8344671 --> 00:28:52,262.8344671
2024.
435
00:28:57,142.8344671 --> 00:28:58,402.8344671
I ask you.
436
00:29:03,2.8344671 --> 00:29:15,962.8344671
What do you want to do with your Christmas bubble? What do you want to do with your life bubble? Your holiday bubble.
437
00:29:19,592.8344671 --> 00:29:23,342.8344671
What do you want to do with your pursuit? Of a bubble.
438
00:29:34,642.8344671 --> 00:29:37,162.8344671
I'm using this conversation and this.
439
00:29:37,162.8344671 --> 00:29:38,122.8344671
Information.
440
00:29:38,872.8344671 --> 00:29:39,472.8344671
On bubbles.
441
00:29:39,892.8344671 --> 00:29:42,952.8344671
As inspiration for my final nostalgia now.
442
00:29:44,92.8344671 --> 00:29:46,432.8344671
Guided photographic journaling template.
443
00:29:47,602.8344671 --> 00:29:48,802.8344671
Which will be out.
444
00:29:49,552.8344671 --> 00:29:50,242.8344671
Soon.
445
00:29:51,582.8344671 --> 00:29:57,642.8344671
And in this template, We are going to like always reflect.
446
00:29:57,642.8344671 --> 00:30:00,612.8344671
On the past, the more recent past.
447
00:30:01,802.8344671 --> 00:30:05,612.8344671
As we simultaneously feel into the future.
448
00:30:07,52.8344671 --> 00:30:09,842.8344671
And the type of life that we're wanting to live.
449
00:30:14,222.8344671 --> 00:30:19,202.8344671
Anything you do anything you see? Anything you feel.
450
00:30:19,952.8344671 --> 00:30:23,252.8344671
It's only alive through the life inside of you.
451
00:30:27,572.8344671 --> 00:30:29,312.8344671
The life inside of you.
452
00:30:34,32.8344671 --> 00:30:41,592.8344671
What kind of life brings you alive? What kind of days bring you alive? Sometimes? We make it too big.
453
00:30:42,102.8344671 --> 00:30:43,392.8344671
It overwhelms us.
454
00:30:46,362.8344671 --> 00:30:47,772.8344671
What kind of moments.
455
00:30:49,422.8344671 --> 00:30:51,282.8344671
Remind you being alive.
456
00:31:05,112.8344671 --> 00:31:13,62.8344671
And if you're finding yourself particularly discontent in this season, I ask you.
457
00:31:14,802.8344671 --> 00:31:20,622.8344671
What would it look like? To come from.
458
00:31:22,782.8344671 --> 00:31:25,692.8344671
Creation to come from a place of content.
459
00:31:27,42.8344671 --> 00:31:28,752.8344671
Rather than reaching.
460
00:31:29,322.8344671 --> 00:31:32,712.8344671
For it, reaching for creation, reaching for content.
461
00:31:34,122.8344671 --> 00:31:35,262.8344671
To me, this means.
462
00:31:37,392.8344671 --> 00:31:38,952.8344671
When I'm feeling discontent.
463
00:31:40,422.8344671 --> 00:31:43,182.8344671
How can I empower myself to put myself.
464
00:31:43,722.8344671 --> 00:31:45,162.8344671
In the situation of.
465
00:31:46,662.8344671 --> 00:31:47,562.8344671
Creating.
466
00:31:48,522.8344671 --> 00:31:49,842.8344671
Using it as fuel.
467
00:31:50,502.8344671 --> 00:31:52,602.8344671
Alchemizing transmuting.
468
00:31:55,602.8344671 --> 00:31:57,852.8344671
Instead of reaching for the bubble.
469
00:31:59,752.8344671 --> 00:32:03,382.8344671
Letting myself acknowledge that I am inside of it.
470
00:32:09,172.8344671 --> 00:32:10,132.8344671
And I choose.
471
00:32:10,132.8344671 --> 00:32:10,762.8344671
To see.
472
00:32:12,122.8344671 --> 00:32:12,992.8344671
The rainbows.
473
00:32:15,602.8344671 --> 00:32:16,622.8344671
And all I need.
474
00:32:19,982.8344671 --> 00:32:23,462.8344671
Is as little as a single wave of light.
475
00:32:28,142.8344671 --> 00:32:29,132.8344671
To do any of it.
476
00:32:34,952.8344671 --> 00:32:36,782.8344671
And sometimes it's just me.
477
00:32:37,412.8344671 --> 00:32:39,242.8344671
I am the single wave of light.
478
00:32:53,432.8344671 --> 00:32:54,122.8344671
Happy new year.
479
00:32:57,517.2789116 --> 00:33:00,737.2789116
This has been an Awkward Sage Production.
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,120
Every Christmas I'm left with the strange remorse of not having achieved this elusive feeling I yearn for.
2
00:00:07,410 --> 00:00:10,830
Surely I'm missing it by looking for it, but I cannot help it.
3
00:00:12,270 --> 00:00:13,530
It's all I've ever known.
4
00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:20,920
This perpetual homesickness for a feeling I've never felt I grasped for moments like chasing bubbles.
5
00:00:21,700 --> 00:00:24,250
Only for it to vanish in the moment of contact.
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00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:30,380
Help Me See is a podcast dedicated to the art of seeing.
7
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It's a space for the restless visionary with an insatiable desire to create the life and work you're meant for.
8
00:00:38,685 --> 00:00:47,805
My name is Bianca Lea Mora, and I'm a photographic artist, a mother, and a coach who's transformed my fear of loss into power, art, and philosophy.
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One of the scariest quotes I never want to say is, I wish I knew at the time, but I truly believe that we have the innate ability to bring our wise 2020 hindsight to our now.
10
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You can deeply experience your nostalgia now, while it's actually happening, with no regrets.
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All you have to do is see.
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In this show, we laugh, we cry, we get inspired, we overshare, we have life changing conversations around making meaning, self discovery, and shedding all the BS layers in order to reconnect to our own sacred vision.
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Seeing yourself is an essential key to living powerfully.
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You are the vessel, the lens that filters absolutely everything in your life.
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What are you filtering for? Whether it be conversations with fellow artists and visionaries, or my solo audio journal style introspective ramblings, each episode is meant to feel like an exhale, an unraveling of truth, a moment for you to be able to put your finger on something that you haven't been able to for far too long.
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Come exactly as you are.
17
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It's perfect.
18
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Honor your instincts.
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Let's uncover some of the most important things in our lives which all too often can slip out from our view.
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Let's commit to seeing and consciously creating what only you can in your one and only life.
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Let's dive in.
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Hello.
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Hello and welcome to another episode of helped me see.
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Happy holidays.
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Whenever you celebrate, I'm hoping you had a beautiful holiday time filled with.
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Yami coziness.
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And.
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All of the.
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Joy and.
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Peace and love and light.
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Today is December 26th and.
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This morning, I Woke up and wrote a poem.
33
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Of sorts.
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I don't know.
35
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I still feel uncomfortable calling.
36
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The writing anything at this point, but I recently joined a.
37
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Poetry community and, um, It's definitely been inspiring me and sending me through all sorts of spirals.
38
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I keep thinking when I'm listening to.
39
00:03:14,903.33333333 --> 00:03:20,33.33333333
The gorgeous, uh, poetry readings and the analysis and the pulling of the threads.
40
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I keep thinking about how.
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Oh, my gosh.
42
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It's like, I know this language.
43
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In.
44
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Imagery.
45
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I know this language visually.
46
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But I don't know this language.
47
00:03:37,133.33333333 --> 00:03:38,813.33333333
With words.
48
00:03:39,173.33333333 --> 00:03:41,303.33333333
I don't know this language with language.
49
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Oops.
50
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Something that.
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Specifically bothers me and, um, I've been since unpacking one of my last posts about how photography has betrayed me.
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Um, It feels like I've been using photography.
53
00:04:02,513.33333333 --> 00:04:05,393.33333333
And visual art in general, as a crutch at times.
54
00:04:06,773.33333333 --> 00:04:09,293.33333333
I think it's definitely a healthy, beautiful.
55
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Way of expression and.
56
00:04:12,683.33333333 --> 00:04:17,543.33333333
It's therapeutic and it's enlightening and emboldening and all the things.
57
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And also.
58
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It allows me to.
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Touch the feeling and be like, oh, there it is.
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And walk away.
61
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And I want.
62
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To articulate it within myself in a different way.
63
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That's what I'm craving.
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So.
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I've been writing a lot more.
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So here is this morning's writing.
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It's called Christmas bubbles.
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Every Christmas I'm left with the strange remorse of not having achieved this elusive feeling I yearn for.
69
00:04:49,733.33333333 --> 00:04:53,153.33333333
Surely I'm missing it by looking for it, but I cannot help it.
70
00:04:54,593.33333333 --> 00:04:55,853.33333333
It's all I've ever known.
71
00:04:56,483.33333333 --> 00:04:59,723.33333333
This perpetual homesickness for a feeling I've never felt.
72
00:05:01,553.33333333 --> 00:05:02,963.33333333
Nowhere, but here.
73
00:05:03,503.33333333 --> 00:05:06,23.33333333
I grasped for moments like chasing bubbles.
74
00:05:06,803.33333333 --> 00:05:09,353.33333333
Only for it to vanish in the moment of contact.
75
00:05:11,153.33333333 --> 00:05:16,73.33333333
But what if I dip myself in what bubbles are made of? Only to touch it.
76
00:05:16,73.33333333 --> 00:05:17,303.33333333
Mere moments longer.
77
00:05:18,713.33333333 --> 00:05:22,103.33333333
And in those mere moments, I frantically searched my soul.
78
00:05:22,823.33333333 --> 00:05:28,133.33333333
Taking in the delicate magnificence as I try to feel for the spot inside, that feels.
79
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The spot that knows.
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00:05:31,913.33333333 --> 00:05:33,503.33333333
The spot that recognizes.
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00:05:36,413.33333333 --> 00:05:38,993.33333333
The counterpart of Christmas bubbles.
82
00:05:42,423.33333333 --> 00:05:44,223.33333333
Like looking through a viewfinder.
83
00:05:44,733.33333333 --> 00:05:45,963.33333333
My whole body knows.
84
00:05:46,353.33333333 --> 00:05:47,403.33333333
To press the shutter.
85
00:05:49,353.33333333 --> 00:05:52,503.33333333
The catharsis of synthesizing inside and outside.
86
00:05:54,123.33333333 --> 00:05:58,833.33333333
But alas, it's the same amount of time to take a picture as it is to pop a bubble.
87
00:05:58,863.33333333 --> 00:06:00,33.33333333
You finally reached.
88
00:06:01,413.33333333 --> 00:06:04,383.33333333
Except now you have the residue of a picture.
89
00:06:04,863.33333333 --> 00:06:08,913.33333333
To hold comfort console, astound and torture.
90
00:06:08,913.33333333 --> 00:06:09,183.33333333
You.
91
00:06:10,653.33333333 --> 00:06:13,893.33333333
It's there and gone alive and dead at once.
92
00:06:15,183.33333333 --> 00:06:19,563.33333333
Brought back to life only by my ability to touch that part inside my body.
93
00:06:19,563.33333333 --> 00:06:20,43.33333333
Again.
94
00:06:21,183.33333333 --> 00:06:25,233.33333333
But it is moved and morphed and melted into something unrecognizable.
95
00:06:26,853.33333333 --> 00:06:30,453.33333333
I could drown myself in bubbles only to disappear in an instant.
96
00:06:32,223.33333333 --> 00:06:35,493.33333333
Reaching for bubbles, like reaching for a single day all year.
97
00:06:37,23.33333333 --> 00:06:40,23.33333333
Both a shell of a space available everywhere.
98
00:06:40,23.33333333 --> 00:06:44,283.33333333
And at all times, Just like pictures.
99
00:06:45,573.33333333 --> 00:06:48,63.33333333
Only alive through the life inside of me.
100
00:07:07,953.33333333 --> 00:07:09,993.33333333
I was scrolling on Instagram after I read this.
101
00:07:10,83.33333333 --> 00:07:15,633.33333333
And, um, There's a quote that I came across.
102
00:07:15,633.33333333 --> 00:07:21,213.33333333
They give me that gives me mixed feelings, especially coming from a visual arts background.
103
00:07:21,273.33333333 --> 00:07:23,913.33333333
Um, it's by a photographer.
104
00:07:24,573.33333333 --> 00:07:25,953.33333333
Lovely photographer.
105
00:07:26,643.33333333 --> 00:07:31,503.33333333
It says, um, To suggest is to create.
106
00:07:32,733.33333333 --> 00:07:34,773.33333333
And to describe is to destroy.
107
00:07:36,813.33333333 --> 00:07:39,213.33333333
It's by Robert, how do I say his last name? Robert.
108
00:07:40,263.33333333 --> 00:07:41,403.33333333
I'm going to butcher it.
109
00:07:41,973.33333333 --> 00:07:44,553.33333333
D O I S N E a U.
110
00:07:45,663.33333333 --> 00:07:49,533.33333333
Um, and, you know, I.
111
00:07:51,63.33333333 --> 00:07:53,523.33333333
Agree to an extent, but it also.
112
00:07:54,783.33333333 --> 00:07:56,253.33333333
Feels so.
113
00:07:59,943.33333333 --> 00:08:00,573.33333333
Gray.
114
00:08:03,473.33333333 --> 00:08:05,543.33333333
To suggest is to create.
115
00:08:08,723.33333333 --> 00:08:10,643.33333333
To describe as to just dry.
116
00:08:18,923.33333333 --> 00:08:20,813.33333333
To suggest does feel.
117
00:08:22,763.33333333 --> 00:08:25,463.33333333
Expansive and iterative and.
118
00:08:27,593.33333333 --> 00:08:31,313.33333333
Open, like you're coming from and then to describe.
119
00:08:32,603.33333333 --> 00:08:34,253.33333333
Most certainly is.
120
00:08:36,113.33333333 --> 00:08:41,753.33333333
Boiling things down and constricting and specifying.
121
00:08:43,403.33333333 --> 00:08:47,183.33333333
But I also find such relief.
122
00:08:47,903.33333333 --> 00:08:48,443.33333333
In.
123
00:08:50,363.33333333 --> 00:08:52,193.33333333
That specificity.
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00:08:52,193.33333333 --> 00:08:53,783.33333333
I find such relief in.
125
00:08:55,373.33333333 --> 00:09:00,653.33333333
When someone describes something so specific and eliminate so much.
126
00:09:01,253.33333333 --> 00:09:02,363.33333333
Of the outside.
127
00:09:06,443.33333333 --> 00:09:12,833.33333333
And it describes something that helps me put a finger on, you know helps me scratch the itch inside of me.
128
00:09:13,373.33333333 --> 00:09:14,753.33333333
Through the words that they were using.
129
00:09:17,33.33333333 --> 00:09:17,513.33333333
And.
130
00:09:20,333.33333333 --> 00:09:22,43.33333333
I think this effort to.
131
00:09:32,933.33333333 --> 00:09:36,233.33333333
Challenge myself with a medium that.
132
00:09:41,813.33333333 --> 00:09:43,43.33333333
Doesn't allow me.
133
00:09:45,53.33333333 --> 00:09:47,843.33333333
To point it'd be like, We're there to, there it is.
134
00:09:47,873.33333333 --> 00:09:48,263.33333333
There it is.
135
00:09:48,293.33333333 --> 00:09:48,773.33333333
There it is.
136
00:09:51,203.33333333 --> 00:09:52,853.33333333
It depends on me to come.
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00:09:54,893.33333333 --> 00:09:55,793.33333333
To something.
138
00:09:58,793.33333333 --> 00:10:00,353.33333333
And create from nothing.
139
00:10:02,63.33333333 --> 00:10:04,763.33333333
And create the words that it demands that I.
140
00:10:06,483.33333333 --> 00:10:07,263.33333333
Go first.
141
00:10:12,743.33333333 --> 00:10:15,53.33333333
In this coming new year, I.
142
00:10:16,73.33333333 --> 00:10:17,3.33333333
Because of this I'm.
143
00:10:17,873.33333333 --> 00:10:21,563.33333333
Challenging myself to explore other mediums.
144
00:10:21,713.33333333 --> 00:10:26,813.33333333
And of course, I will continue to taking pictures.
145
00:10:30,323.33333333 --> 00:10:30,983.33333333
But I'm.
146
00:10:30,983.33333333 --> 00:10:32,843.33333333
Going to gift myself with.
147
00:10:36,113.33333333 --> 00:10:41,843.33333333
A very literal beginner's mind, not the, from a philosophical standpoint of.
148
00:10:42,803.33333333 --> 00:10:43,103.33333333
Yes.
149
00:10:43,103.33333333 --> 00:10:49,823.33333333
I know if I just sit down in the seat of consciousness of a beginner's mind, like everything is new all the time.
150
00:10:49,823.33333333 --> 00:10:51,833.33333333
Doesn't matter if I've been taking photos for.
151
00:10:52,553.33333333 --> 00:10:53,663.33333333
Decades, right.
152
00:10:56,633.33333333 --> 00:10:58,223.33333333
But a philosophical.
153
00:10:59,993.33333333 --> 00:11:01,793.33333333
Beginner's mind is very different from a.
154
00:11:03,53.33333333 --> 00:11:06,833.33333333
I don't know what the fuck I'm doing at all beginner's mind.
155
00:11:06,863.33333333 --> 00:11:10,253.33333333
And that's what I'm looking for in.
156
00:11:11,153.33333333 --> 00:11:15,803.33333333
Um, the poetry classes I'm taking and that's what I'll be looking for.
157
00:11:16,313.33333333 --> 00:11:21,743.33333333
And unavoidably experiencing in the singing classes, I'm going to be taking singing and piano.
158
00:11:22,283.33333333 --> 00:11:22,733.33333333
Which.
159
00:11:23,753.33333333 --> 00:11:28,373.33333333
I don't know why, but it feels embarrassing to say, which is so strange.
160
00:11:28,403.33333333 --> 00:11:28,463.33333333
I.
161
00:11:29,633.33333333 --> 00:11:32,813.33333333
Something feels extraordinarily vulnerable about it.
162
00:11:32,843.33333333 --> 00:11:33,293.33333333
And.
163
00:11:34,73.33333333 --> 00:11:37,433.33333333
You know, for someone that's been extraordinarily vulnerable.
164
00:11:37,943.33333333 --> 00:11:40,283.33333333
Like on a microphone for years.
165
00:11:40,883.33333333 --> 00:11:45,233.33333333
Um, via podcast, uh, It perplexes me.
166
00:11:45,563.33333333 --> 00:11:47,183.33333333
But it's definitely a different.
167
00:11:48,563.33333333 --> 00:11:49,703.33333333
It's just a different space.
168
00:11:55,263.33333333 --> 00:11:58,173.33333333
But coming back to Christmas, bubbles, It really does.
169
00:11:59,163.33333333 --> 00:12:04,733.33333333
The line that came to me um, the catharsis of synthesizing inside and outside.
170
00:12:06,603.33333333 --> 00:12:08,103.33333333
I think that's really.
171
00:12:08,103.33333333 --> 00:12:09,93.33333333
The root of.
172
00:12:09,93.33333333 --> 00:12:12,453.33333333
A lot of the discontent and the unrest that I can feel.
173
00:12:12,453.33333333 --> 00:12:13,203.33333333
It's just that.
174
00:12:14,163.33333333 --> 00:12:16,653.33333333
I know what it feels like.
175
00:12:17,703.33333333 --> 00:12:20,553.33333333
When I'm moving through my life and I see something and I.
176
00:12:22,23.33333333 --> 00:12:24,63.33333333
Touch the shatter take the picture.
177
00:12:24,93.33333333 --> 00:12:25,773.33333333
It's like this very physical.
178
00:12:26,463.33333333 --> 00:12:27,573.33333333
Emotional.
179
00:12:30,273.33333333 --> 00:12:31,623.33333333
Creative.
180
00:12:32,373.33333333 --> 00:12:38,43.33333333
Um, It's like an aligning of everything in a second.
181
00:12:40,923.33333333 --> 00:12:41,733.33333333
And then it's gone.
182
00:12:48,483.33333333 --> 00:12:52,53.33333333
Wakening awakening the part inside of you.
183
00:12:52,623.33333333 --> 00:12:56,163.33333333
That most deeply recognizes the thing you're looking at.
184
00:13:03,723.33333333 --> 00:13:04,83.33333333
And.
185
00:13:04,83.33333333 --> 00:13:05,253.33333333
It feels like I'm.
186
00:13:05,253.33333333 --> 00:13:06,873.33333333
Really wanting to.
187
00:13:08,133.33333333 --> 00:13:11,523.33333333
Be able to recognize and understand.
188
00:13:12,753.33333333 --> 00:13:14,103.33333333
The part inside of me.
189
00:13:15,423.33333333 --> 00:13:22,143.33333333
First without needing an outside experience or representation to draw it out of me.
190
00:13:22,923.33333333 --> 00:13:25,53.33333333
You know, it's, it's reminds me of.
191
00:13:25,893.33333333 --> 00:13:31,473.33333333
How, um, it can be really unhealthy in a relationship if you depend on the other person too.
192
00:13:31,863.33333333 --> 00:13:33,513.33333333
Bring happiness to you or.
193
00:13:33,513.33333333 --> 00:13:36,303.33333333
You look to them to make you feel a certain way.
194
00:13:43,233.33333333 --> 00:13:45,33.33333333
Like two halves of a whole.
195
00:13:45,573.33333333 --> 00:13:47,853.33333333
Dismissing the wholeness within yourself.
196
00:13:48,843.33333333 --> 00:13:49,743.33333333
It feels like.
197
00:13:50,103.33333333 --> 00:13:51,33.33333333
I do that.
198
00:13:51,813.33333333 --> 00:13:52,833.33333333
With life.
199
00:13:56,223.33333333 --> 00:13:57,183.33333333
Like I'm looking.
200
00:13:58,743.33333333 --> 00:14:01,53.33333333
I'm pleading with life too.
201
00:14:04,563.33333333 --> 00:14:07,263.33333333
Validate me and to comfort me.
202
00:14:08,133.33333333 --> 00:14:09,363.33333333
And to show me, see.
203
00:14:10,653.33333333 --> 00:14:12,933.33333333
I don't know what, see what I don't know, but see.
204
00:14:13,953.33333333 --> 00:14:14,343.33333333
This.
205
00:14:16,113.33333333 --> 00:14:16,563.33333333
Okay.
206
00:14:18,393.33333333 --> 00:14:20,463.33333333
I'm looking forward to pat me on the back.
207
00:14:21,213.33333333 --> 00:14:21,483.33333333
Yeah.
208
00:14:21,843.33333333 --> 00:14:22,263.33333333
It's okay.
209
00:14:22,413.33333333 --> 00:14:22,653.33333333
Yeah.
210
00:14:22,713.33333333 --> 00:14:23,43.33333333
See.
211
00:14:30,633.33333333 --> 00:14:32,673.33333333
And I, I'm not saying like, I don't even know.
212
00:14:32,673.33333333 --> 00:14:34,413.33333333
I'm not saying it as like a critique.
213
00:14:34,413.33333333 --> 00:14:36,453.33333333
I'm not saying it as I know this is wrong.
214
00:14:36,813.33333333 --> 00:14:38,163.33333333
Maybe it's just human nature.
215
00:14:38,193.33333333 --> 00:14:39,633.33333333
I don't, I don't know.
216
00:14:44,283.33333333 --> 00:14:46,113.33333333
I just feel particularly.
217
00:14:48,393.33333333 --> 00:14:50,883.33333333
Aware and an easy about it.
218
00:15:03,243.33333333 --> 00:15:04,953.33333333
And we hear with all this talk around.
219
00:15:05,313.33333333 --> 00:15:14,703.33333333
Manifestation and like, When you're on the same vibration as something else, like that's when it's attracted to you, that's when it's feels the most natural and.
220
00:15:16,113.33333333 --> 00:15:16,263.33333333
Yeah.
221
00:15:16,263.33333333 --> 00:15:18,363.33333333
I thought about that when I was thinking about how.
222
00:15:20,373.33333333 --> 00:15:22,263.33333333
You can hold a bubble longer.
223
00:15:22,293.33333333 --> 00:15:26,133.33333333
If your hand is dipped in that soapy water, right.
224
00:15:26,133.33333333 --> 00:15:29,43.33333333
Is it because it can rest on that surface.
225
00:15:30,873.33333333 --> 00:15:33,963.33333333
Because that surface is the same as it.
226
00:15:42,333.33333333 --> 00:15:45,3.33333333
But even with that, it only lasts a certain amount of time.
227
00:15:51,33.33333333 --> 00:15:52,173.33333333
And then it pops.
228
00:15:53,673.33333333 --> 00:15:55,983.33333333
But inside of it as the same thing, that's.
229
00:15:58,113.33333333 --> 00:15:58,893.33333333
Everywhere.
230
00:15:59,343.33333333 --> 00:16:06,693.33333333
Surrounding us, right? Like what makes a bubble? It's like the tiny, like what, I wonder what the measurement is of.
231
00:16:07,593.33333333 --> 00:16:09,243.33333333
The surface of a bubble.
232
00:16:09,333.33333333 --> 00:16:10,293.33333333
Let me see if I can find that.
233
00:16:11,763.33333333 --> 00:16:12,483.33333333
How.
234
00:16:13,353.33333333 --> 00:16:18,873.33333333
It is the surface of a bubble.
235
00:16:20,283.33333333 --> 00:16:26,193.33333333
Ah, The surface of a bubble.
236
00:16:26,193.33333333 --> 00:16:37,323.33333333
Typically a soap bubble is incredibly thin measuring only a few hundred nanometers thick, which is roughly the same thickness as a wavelength of visible light.
237
00:16:37,743.33333333 --> 00:16:42,423.3333333
Meaning it's essentially as thin as a single LightWave.
238
00:16:44,703.3333333 --> 00:16:45,963.3333333
Oh, my God.
239
00:16:55,113.3333333 --> 00:16:55,923.3333333
Of course.
240
00:16:56,223.3333333 --> 00:16:57,933.3333333
It's compared to light.
241
00:16:58,713.3333333 --> 00:17:01,293.3333333
A bubble consist of a thin layer of water.
242
00:17:02,133.3333333 --> 00:17:05,733.3333333
Sandwiched between two layers of soap molecules.
243
00:17:06,93.3333333 --> 00:17:07,563.3333333
Creating the film.
244
00:17:08,433.3333333 --> 00:17:10,173.3333333
That holds the air inside.
245
00:17:10,743.3333333 --> 00:17:12,453.3333333
Of course, there's film in this.
246
00:17:15,303.3333333 --> 00:17:16,353.3333333
Oh, my God.
247
00:17:17,613.3333333 --> 00:17:24,3.3333333
The thinness of the bubble film causes light to interfere with itself.
248
00:17:24,603.3333333 --> 00:17:28,443.3333333
Resulting in the rainbow, like colors we see on bubbles.
249
00:17:43,863.3333333 --> 00:17:46,203.3333333
The thinness of the bubble film.
250
00:17:46,773.3333333 --> 00:17:49,923.3333333
Causes light to interfere with itself.
251
00:17:52,443.3333333 --> 00:17:54,783.3333333
Resulting in rainbow colors.
252
00:17:54,813.3333333 --> 00:17:55,443.3333333
We see.
253
00:18:08,433.3333333 --> 00:18:10,233.3333333
So emotional.
254
00:18:11,493.3333333 --> 00:18:15,603.3333333
Um, I certainly feel like I'm interfering with myself.
255
00:18:17,193.3333333 --> 00:18:21,963.3333333
Um, Uh, and also just for context.
256
00:18:22,533.3333333 --> 00:18:24,453.3333333
About my bubble tears right now.
257
00:18:24,543.3333333 --> 00:18:26,133.3333333
Um, We.
258
00:18:28,503.3333333 --> 00:18:32,853.3333333
The boys for Christmas, got a room makeover and.
259
00:18:35,43.3333333 --> 00:18:36,603.3333333
The door was locked and it said.
260
00:18:37,173.3333333 --> 00:18:38,853.3333333
Uh, Christmas magic is happening.
261
00:18:38,853.3333333 --> 00:18:42,483.3333333
And, uh, They were trying to look under the door.
262
00:18:43,173.3333333 --> 00:18:43,983.3333333
Cassius said.
263
00:18:45,93.3333333 --> 00:18:50,823.3333333
That he felt like he saw rainbows and that Tyson was probably in there working on his Christmas present.
264
00:18:51,633.3333333 --> 00:18:54,633.3333333
Because Tyson now is all the rainbows we see are Tyson.
265
00:18:55,803.3333333 --> 00:19:00,373.3333333
Um, so now as I.
266
00:19:02,173.3333333 --> 00:19:02,923.3333333
Well think of.
267
00:19:03,433.3333333 --> 00:19:04,633.3333333
Bubbles as.
268
00:19:04,633.3333333 --> 00:19:06,433.3333333
Light fighting with itself.
269
00:19:08,623.3333333 --> 00:19:09,343.3333333
In a film.
270
00:19:13,633.3333333 --> 00:19:16,93.3333333
Underneath that film inside.
271
00:19:16,813.3333333 --> 00:19:19,933.3333333
Inside and literally inside the bubble.
272
00:19:20,443.3333333 --> 00:19:21,763.3333333
It's the same stuff.
273
00:19:22,483.3333333 --> 00:19:23,443.3333333
That is everywhere.
274
00:19:24,763.3333333 --> 00:19:25,183.3333333
Err.
275
00:19:30,433.3333333 --> 00:19:31,243.3333333
It's everywhere.
276
00:19:31,243.3333333 --> 00:19:32,863.3333333
And yet you're looking for.
277
00:19:34,243.3333333 --> 00:19:35,293.3333333
Reaching for.
278
00:19:35,773.3333333 --> 00:19:36,283.3333333
This.
279
00:19:38,113.3333333 --> 00:19:38,953.3333333
Elusive.
280
00:19:42,703.3333333 --> 00:19:44,833.3333333
A few hundred nanometers thick.
281
00:19:46,213.3333333 --> 00:19:46,813.3333333
Surface.
282
00:19:47,623.3333333 --> 00:19:48,493.3333333
Of a thing.
283
00:19:49,483.3333333 --> 00:19:51,73.3333333
That has only made visible.
284
00:19:53,873.3333333 --> 00:19:55,553.3333333
By a single LightWave.
285
00:19:59,283.3333333 --> 00:20:00,423.3333333
Once you touch it.
286
00:20:01,773.3333333 --> 00:20:02,553.3333333
It's gone.
287
00:20:06,573.3333333 --> 00:20:12,993.3333333
Extract that to It's a shell.
288
00:20:13,263.3333333 --> 00:20:13,593.3333333
Right.
289
00:20:15,933.3333333 --> 00:20:17,493.3333333
Reaching for the shell.
290
00:20:18,723.3333333 --> 00:20:20,223.3333333
And inside the shell.
291
00:20:20,583.3333333 --> 00:20:22,893.3333333
If we were even able to hold it and open it.
292
00:20:23,913.3333333 --> 00:20:24,693.3333333
It's like, imagine.
293
00:20:25,113.3333333 --> 00:20:28,773.3333333
If you were able to take a bubble, hold it and then open it up.
294
00:20:29,613.3333333 --> 00:20:30,543.3333333
It would look empty.
295
00:20:31,23.3333333 --> 00:20:33,63.3333333
Because it's full of everything.
296
00:20:33,63.3333333 --> 00:20:33,903.3333333
That's all around.
297
00:20:33,903.3333333 --> 00:20:34,743.3333333
You already.
298
00:20:36,603.3333333 --> 00:20:37,893.3333333
I mean, what a mind fuck.
299
00:20:40,83.3333333 --> 00:20:40,233.3333333
Yeah.
300
00:20:40,263.3333333 --> 00:20:42,543.3333333
Think about the shell of a day.
301
00:20:43,53.3333333 --> 00:20:47,223.3333333
The Christmas shell that is the day of December 25th.
302
00:20:48,453.3333333 --> 00:20:50,43.3333333
And I get to de.
303
00:20:50,973.3333333 --> 00:20:51,963.3333333
And I'm like, Ugh.
304
00:20:53,283.3333333 --> 00:20:55,593.3333333
I don't feel the way I want to feel.
305
00:20:59,253.3333333 --> 00:21:00,63.3333333
It's like it's.
306
00:21:03,513.3333333 --> 00:21:04,503.3333333
I saw quote.
307
00:21:05,373.3333333 --> 00:21:06,333.3333333
I don't know who said it.
308
00:21:07,803.3333333 --> 00:21:10,773.3333333
The idea that it's just too much and not enough.
309
00:21:12,573.3333333 --> 00:21:14,343.3333333
At the same time and.
310
00:21:18,873.3333333 --> 00:21:22,233.3333333
It's overwhelming and it's frustrating, but it's so comforting.
311
00:21:22,233.3333333 --> 00:21:24,843.3333333
It's like, it's all always here.
312
00:21:26,343.3333333 --> 00:21:29,613.3333333
Just like the picture means nothing and everything.
313
00:21:31,953.3333333 --> 00:21:38,523.3333333
How alive is the person looking at it? What parts.
314
00:21:39,603.3333333 --> 00:21:43,983.3333333
What is the counterpart inside of you that is able to see and witness.
315
00:21:45,123.3333333 --> 00:21:46,173.3333333
What's in front of you.
316
00:21:47,283.3333333 --> 00:21:48,63.3333333
At all times.
317
00:21:52,363.3333333 --> 00:21:57,13.3333333
It feels like I've come full circle in this, um, I am in the middle of.
318
00:21:59,83.3333333 --> 00:22:03,973.3333333
Recreating my original like flagship course manifest your memories.
319
00:22:04,933.3333333 --> 00:22:08,503.3333333
About using photography or photographic practice, rather as.
320
00:22:09,313.3333333 --> 00:22:10,513.3333333
This means to.
321
00:22:11,773.3333333 --> 00:22:16,843.3333333
Like sinking your teeth into your life, vision, and being able to.
322
00:22:18,523.3333333 --> 00:22:22,633.3333333
Really extract this version of presence that feels.
323
00:22:23,563.3333333 --> 00:22:25,753.3333333
Conscious and unconscious and.
324
00:22:26,743.3333333 --> 00:22:31,213.3333333
Um, effortless and intentional at the same time.
325
00:22:31,273.3333333 --> 00:22:33,463.3333333
And that's the gift in.
326
00:22:35,503.3333333 --> 00:22:36,373.3333333
In the best of it.
327
00:22:36,373.3333333 --> 00:22:40,963.3333333
That's like if that photography gives me and I'm in that recreation, I've been.
328
00:22:41,953.3333333 --> 00:22:45,823.3333333
Putting some of those practices from that course into play in my daily life.
329
00:22:46,903.3333333 --> 00:22:51,43.3333333
You know, just in a healthy way, just coming back to like, does this still hold.
330
00:22:51,523.3333333 --> 00:22:52,873.3333333
Does this still hold true.
331
00:22:53,983.3333333 --> 00:23:04,153.3333333
Or is this like a bubble that when I touch it, It just appears and I'm like, oh, I don't, I don't, I guess this is something that does need to be recreated.
332
00:23:04,153.3333333 --> 00:23:04,663.3333333
Maybe.
333
00:23:05,263.3333333 --> 00:23:06,913.3333333
It doesn't hold its weight anymore.
334
00:23:07,3.3333333 --> 00:23:10,993.3333333
And, um, I'm happy to say that.
335
00:23:11,803.3333333 --> 00:23:12,913.3333333
It most certainly.
336
00:23:13,903.3333333 --> 00:23:14,473.3333333
Has.
337
00:23:16,303.3333333 --> 00:23:21,13.3333333
You know, When the kids are in the basement with the door open and I can hear them.
338
00:23:30,973.3333333 --> 00:23:33,943.3333333
I think I hear that he's calling me right now from outside the room.
339
00:23:37,963.3333333 --> 00:23:38,833.3333333
Yes, buddy.
340
00:23:39,583.3333333 --> 00:23:40,243.3333333
Give me your.
341
00:23:42,223.3333333 --> 00:23:43,93.3333333
You can come in.
342
00:23:45,153.3333333 --> 00:23:46,203.3333333
The door is open, baby.
343
00:23:48,633.3333333 --> 00:23:48,843.3333333
Hi.
344
00:23:49,773.3333333 --> 00:23:50,193.3333333
Come here.
345
00:23:55,113.3333333 --> 00:23:55,203.3333333
Yeah.
346
00:23:56,223.3333333 --> 00:23:56,583.3333333
Come here.
347
00:23:57,273.3333333 --> 00:23:58,173.3333333
Tell me in the mic.
348
00:23:59,523.3333333 --> 00:23:59,883.3333333
Hi.
349
00:24:00,753.3333333 --> 00:24:01,473.3333333
How.
350
00:24:03,423.3333333 --> 00:24:07,683.3333333
What do you want to show me? Your robot named.
351
00:24:08,493.3333333 --> 00:24:09,483.3333333
His name is Jr.
352
00:24:10,113.3333333 --> 00:24:14,583.3333333
Can you speak in the mic? Can you tell, um, I'm recording a podcast episode.
353
00:24:14,763.3333333 --> 00:24:17,283.3333333
Um, my mom.
354
00:24:18,663.3333333 --> 00:24:20,913.3333333
I've had death episode.
355
00:24:20,973.3333333 --> 00:24:28,623.3333333
Do you know what that is? That means I record my thoughts onto here and then other people in the world listen to it.
356
00:24:28,653.3333333 --> 00:24:31,113.3333333
They press play and they listen to it on their headphones.
357
00:24:32,733.3333333 --> 00:24:35,283.3333333
I love you.
358
00:24:35,763.3333333 --> 00:24:36,393.3333333
The mic buddy.
359
00:24:37,113.3333333 --> 00:24:37,653.3333333
I love you.
360
00:24:38,463.3333333 --> 00:24:39,543.3333333
What do you want to show me? Here.
361
00:24:39,693.3333333 --> 00:24:39,963.3333333
Hold on.
362
00:24:40,923.3333333 --> 00:24:41,313.3333333
The sun.
363
00:24:42,93.3333333 --> 00:24:42,243.3333333
Yeah.
364
00:24:43,53.3333333 --> 00:24:43,563.3333333
Now talk.
365
00:24:43,613.3333333 --> 00:24:51,813.3333333
What was your favorite part of Christmas? Did daddy finish your robot? Yeah.
366
00:24:52,203.3333333 --> 00:24:53,43.3333333
Well, yeah.
367
00:24:53,463.3333333 --> 00:24:54,933.3333333
I'm trying to fit me.
368
00:24:56,193.3333333 --> 00:25:00,213.3333333
Are you trying to connect him on his phone? So we could play him.
369
00:25:00,933.3333333 --> 00:25:03,303.3333333
I move them, but I'm not sure if he can move.
370
00:25:03,843.3333333 --> 00:25:06,3.3333333
I mean, I'm not sure he could talk.
371
00:25:06,663.3333333 --> 00:25:07,893.3333333
Well, I guess we got to see.
372
00:25:07,893.3333333 --> 00:25:08,943.3333333
I'll be right there, baby.
373
00:25:10,533.3333333 --> 00:25:10,713.3333333
Yes.
374
00:25:11,73.3333333 --> 00:25:11,913.3333333
You have the bus.
375
00:25:11,973.3333333 --> 00:25:13,143.3333333
Mommy in the world.
376
00:25:13,353.3333333 --> 00:25:13,413.3333333
If you.
377
00:25:13,653.3333333 --> 00:25:20,223.3333333
Oh, You good.
378
00:25:21,903.3333333 --> 00:25:24,693.3333333
I interrupt this programming for life.
379
00:25:24,813.3333333 --> 00:25:25,113.3333333
So.
380
00:25:25,263.3333333 --> 00:25:25,953.3333333
I'll be right back.
381
00:25:29,332.8344671 --> 00:25:30,22.8344671
Okay.
382
00:25:30,202.8344671 --> 00:25:32,632.8344671
That'd be right back, turned into a couple hours.
383
00:25:33,802.8344671 --> 00:25:34,852.8344671
Surprise surprise.
384
00:25:35,602.8344671 --> 00:25:39,382.8344671
I ended up reheating a, an egg.
385
00:25:39,802.8344671 --> 00:25:43,372.8344671
Bake that I made for Christmas yesterday.
386
00:25:43,592.8344671 --> 00:25:50,282.8344671
And then I put some monkey bread in the oven that I made yesterday that was like hanging out in the fridge because.
387
00:25:51,362.8344671 --> 00:25:54,212.8344671
Um, A lot of our family members got sick.
388
00:25:54,212.8344671 --> 00:25:55,592.8344671
So we had to postpone.
389
00:25:55,982.8344671 --> 00:25:58,52.8344671
Our Christmas festivities and.
390
00:25:59,252.8344671 --> 00:26:00,962.8344671
So that was just hanging out in the fridge.
391
00:26:01,442.8344671 --> 00:26:09,602.8344671
Um, And in that time that I was gone.
392
00:26:10,712.8344671 --> 00:26:11,282.8344671
Aye.
393
00:26:12,32.8344671 --> 00:26:14,342.8344671
It was recording a video of.
394
00:26:15,662.8344671 --> 00:26:18,152.8344671
My dog through the blur of flowers.
395
00:26:18,182.8344671 --> 00:26:20,732.8344671
And then my son scooted over to me.
396
00:26:22,352.8344671 --> 00:26:23,792.8344671
On his new blue scooter.
397
00:26:23,882.8344671 --> 00:26:24,632.8344671
It was so cute.
398
00:26:25,472.8344671 --> 00:26:27,362.8344671
And I turned the camera to him.
399
00:26:28,82.8344671 --> 00:26:34,412.8344671
And it focused for a second, but then it had a hard time tracking him and he scooted away and.
400
00:26:37,172.8344671 --> 00:26:44,282.8344671
The vision of the forced blur, the blur that happens through a camera through your phone camera, whatever it is.
401
00:26:48,842.8344671 --> 00:26:49,412.8344671
It's like.
402
00:26:51,92.8344671 --> 00:26:54,482.8344671
The most wonderful reframe, the most wonderful.
403
00:26:57,272.8344671 --> 00:26:58,232.8344671
Mistake.
404
00:26:59,162.8344671 --> 00:26:59,852.8344671
That is.
405
00:27:00,152.8344671 --> 00:27:01,532.8344671
Anything, but it's.
406
00:27:05,132.8344671 --> 00:27:09,542.8344671
It just pulled me so deep into that moment and I ended up making a real.
407
00:27:10,592.8344671 --> 00:27:15,962.8344671
Where I said, what did I say? Sometimes the blur helps let the blur help you see.
408
00:27:16,952.8344671 --> 00:27:17,492.8344671
And.
409
00:27:20,612.8344671 --> 00:27:22,442.8344671
Just that moment reminded me.
410
00:27:23,272.8344671 --> 00:27:24,982.8344671
Reminded me to like lean in.
411
00:27:25,462.8344671 --> 00:27:26,362.8344671
Lean into the.
412
00:27:29,122.8344671 --> 00:27:30,322.8344671
Interference.
413
00:27:31,552.8344671 --> 00:27:31,942.8344671
Right.
414
00:27:31,972.8344671 --> 00:27:32,392.8344671
Like.
415
00:27:33,742.8344671 --> 00:27:38,272.8344671
Just because there is interference doesn't mean it's bad just because.
416
00:27:40,162.8344671 --> 00:27:42,532.8344671
The light is interfering with itself.
417
00:27:44,92.8344671 --> 00:27:46,522.8344671
Doesn't mean it's bad in the bubbles case.
418
00:27:46,522.8344671 --> 00:27:48,472.8344671
It results in a rainbow.
419
00:27:52,492.8344671 --> 00:27:55,682.8344671
And this squabbling, I find myself doing so often.
420
00:27:59,582.8344671 --> 00:28:04,202.8344671
It's like, I'm so aware of how discontent I'm so aware of how restless I am.
421
00:28:04,202.8344671 --> 00:28:05,132.8344671
I'm so aware.
422
00:28:05,702.8344671 --> 00:28:06,152.8344671
Of.
423
00:28:07,892.8344671 --> 00:28:09,2.8344671
Awareness.
424
00:28:09,452.8344671 --> 00:28:11,522.8344671
That it, I let it get in the way.
425
00:28:17,222.8344671 --> 00:28:22,52.8344671
When in fact that's the biggest gift, right? But it's like a.
426
00:28:23,552.8344671 --> 00:28:25,202.8344671
The top of a pin, like.
427
00:28:25,982.8344671 --> 00:28:26,462.8344671
Or the.
428
00:28:27,422.8344671 --> 00:28:29,822.8344671
The width of a bubble.
429
00:28:33,182.8344671 --> 00:28:35,462.8344671
It is a few hundred nanometers.
430
00:28:35,462.8344671 --> 00:28:36,452.8344671
Of a.
431
00:28:36,452.8344671 --> 00:28:37,622.8344671
coin swap of.
432
00:28:39,302.8344671 --> 00:28:45,662.8344671
Is it going to hinder you or is it going to help you? So.
433
00:28:46,532.8344671 --> 00:28:49,592.8344671
In my last podcast episode of.
434
00:28:50,342.8344671 --> 00:28:52,262.8344671
2024.
435
00:28:57,142.8344671 --> 00:28:58,402.8344671
I ask you.
436
00:29:03,2.8344671 --> 00:29:15,962.8344671
What do you want to do with your Christmas bubble? What do you want to do with your life bubble? Your holiday bubble.
437
00:29:19,592.8344671 --> 00:29:23,342.8344671
What do you want to do with your pursuit? Of a bubble.
438
00:29:34,642.8344671 --> 00:29:37,162.8344671
I'm using this conversation and this.
439
00:29:37,162.8344671 --> 00:29:38,122.8344671
Information.
440
00:29:38,872.8344671 --> 00:29:39,472.8344671
On bubbles.
441
00:29:39,892.8344671 --> 00:29:42,952.8344671
As inspiration for my final nostalgia now.
442
00:29:44,92.8344671 --> 00:29:46,432.8344671
Guided photographic journaling template.
443
00:29:47,602.8344671 --> 00:29:48,802.8344671
Which will be out.
444
00:29:49,552.8344671 --> 00:29:50,242.8344671
Soon.
445
00:29:51,582.8344671 --> 00:29:57,642.8344671
And in this template, We are going to like always reflect.
446
00:29:57,642.8344671 --> 00:30:00,612.8344671
On the past, the more recent past.
447
00:30:01,802.8344671 --> 00:30:05,612.8344671
As we simultaneously feel into the future.
448
00:30:07,52.8344671 --> 00:30:09,842.8344671
And the type of life that we're wanting to live.
449
00:30:14,222.8344671 --> 00:30:19,202.8344671
Anything you do anything you see? Anything you feel.
450
00:30:19,952.8344671 --> 00:30:23,252.8344671
It's only alive through the life inside of you.
451
00:30:27,572.8344671 --> 00:30:29,312.8344671
The life inside of you.
452
00:30:34,32.8344671 --> 00:30:41,592.8344671
What kind of life brings you alive? What kind of days bring you alive? Sometimes? We make it too big.
453
00:30:42,102.8344671 --> 00:30:43,392.8344671
It overwhelms us.
454
00:30:46,362.8344671 --> 00:30:47,772.8344671
What kind of moments.
455
00:30:49,422.8344671 --> 00:30:51,282.8344671
Remind you being alive.
456
00:31:05,112.8344671 --> 00:31:13,62.8344671
And if you're finding yourself particularly discontent in this season, I ask you.
457
00:31:14,802.8344671 --> 00:31:20,622.8344671
What would it look like? To come from.
458
00:31:22,782.8344671 --> 00:31:25,692.8344671
Creation to come from a place of content.
459
00:31:27,42.8344671 --> 00:31:28,752.8344671
Rather than reaching.
460
00:31:29,322.8344671 --> 00:31:32,712.8344671
For it, reaching for creation, reaching for content.
461
00:31:34,122.8344671 --> 00:31:35,262.8344671
To me, this means.
462
00:31:37,392.8344671 --> 00:31:38,952.8344671
When I'm feeling discontent.
463
00:31:40,422.8344671 --> 00:31:43,182.8344671
How can I empower myself to put myself.
464
00:31:43,722.8344671 --> 00:31:45,162.8344671
In the situation of.
465
00:31:46,662.8344671 --> 00:31:47,562.8344671
Creating.
466
00:31:48,522.8344671 --> 00:31:49,842.8344671
Using it as fuel.
467
00:31:50,502.8344671 --> 00:31:52,602.8344671
Alchemizing transmuting.
468
00:31:55,602.8344671 --> 00:31:57,852.8344671
Instead of reaching for the bubble.
469
00:31:59,752.8344671 --> 00:32:03,382.8344671
Letting myself acknowledge that I am inside of it.
470
00:32:09,172.8344671 --> 00:32:10,132.8344671
And I choose.
471
00:32:10,132.8344671 --> 00:32:10,762.8344671
To see.
472
00:32:12,122.8344671 --> 00:32:12,992.8344671
The rainbows.
473
00:32:15,602.8344671 --> 00:32:16,622.8344671
And all I need.
474
00:32:19,982.8344671 --> 00:32:23,462.8344671
Is as little as a single wave of light.
475
00:32:28,142.8344671 --> 00:32:29,132.8344671
To do any of it.
476
00:32:34,952.8344671 --> 00:32:36,782.8344671
And sometimes it's just me.
477
00:32:37,412.8344671 --> 00:32:39,242.8344671
I am the single wave of light.
478
00:32:53,432.8344671 --> 00:32:54,122.8344671
Happy new year.
479
00:32:57,517.2789116 --> 00:33:00,737.2789116
This has been an Awkward Sage Production.
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