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May 15, 2024
Components of Truth
What if forgetting isn't bad?What if I'm a photographer that doesn't take enough photos of her family?What if you can see all of the "problems" more clearly but still aren't yet able to "solve" them?Want to chat about this stuff live while working on...
What if forgetting isn't bad?
What if I'm a photographer that doesn't take enough photos of her family?
What if you can see all of the "problems" more clearly but still aren't yet able to "solve" them?
Want to chat about this stuff live while working on your craft?
Sacred Seeing Membership for Creatives
SHOW NOTES:
1:1 BREAKTHROUGH VISION SESSION
Sacred Seeing Membership for Creatives
https://www.instagram.com/biancaleamorra/
Awkward Sage Media
Transcript
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Lewis Hyde says.
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Let us reclaim, forgetting as a component of truth.
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Let us reclaim forgetting as a component of truth.
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I feel like.
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Photographs had been washed.
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So hard with this.
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Idea that photographs are so we don't forget.
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So we don't forget.
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So we don't forget.
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So we don't forget.
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It's like, whoa.
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Photographs or so we can see.
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Now.
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So we can see it more now.
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The not forgetting is a beautiful.
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Idea.
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It's a beautiful byproduct.
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It's not always accurate.
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Even if you do have a photograph.
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It's not a sure-fire way.
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Of remembering.
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But this is what excited me so much is that.
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To not only.
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Stop using forgetting as something negative.
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This is bad.
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This is bad.
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But to then go on to classify it as.
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A component of truth, like think about what is it to forget.
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Like, what is it to forget? Help Me See is a podcast dedicated to the art of seeing.
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It's a space for the restless visionary with an insatiable desire to create the life and work you're meant for.
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My name is Bianca Lea Mora, and I'm a photographic artist, a mother, and a coach who's transformed my fear of loss into power, art, and philosophy.
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One of the scariest quotes I never want to say is, I wish I knew at the time, but I truly believe that we have the innate ability to bring our wise 2020 hindsight to our now.
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You can deeply experience your nostalgia now, while it's actually happening, with no regrets.
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All you have to do is see.
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In this show, we laugh, we cry, we get inspired, we overshare, we have life changing conversations around making meaning, self discovery, and shedding all the BS layers in order to reconnect to our own sacred vision.
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Seeing yourself is an essential key to living powerfully.
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You are the vessel, the lens that filters absolutely everything in your life.
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What are you filtering for? Whether it be conversations with fellow artists and visionaries, or my solo audio journal style introspective ramblings, each episode is meant to feel like an exhale, an unraveling of truth, a moment for you to be able to put your finger on something that you haven't been able to for far too long.
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Come exactly as you are.
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It's perfect.
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Honor your instincts.
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Let's uncover some of the most important things in our lives which all too often can slip out from our view.
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Let's commit to seeing and consciously creating what only you can in your one and only life.
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Let's dive in.
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Help me.
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I just want to say, help me see.
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Like welcome to another episode of help me see, and it just came out, helped me.
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I think I meant it meant it.
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I really meant it helped me.
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My partner just wanted to take.
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The kids to their sports.
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Um, class for the first time on his own.
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And I'm like, oh, I get time by myself.
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Oh my gosh, you have to scurry downstairs and record my podcast episode.
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And.
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Just do some stuff.
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I don't know, just be alone and do some stuff.
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And I just spent the last 20 fucking minutes.
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Looking for the core to connect my microphone.
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To my computer.
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And um, serves me right for leaving it out.
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Well, I know the boys come down here randomly.
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And I finally found it.
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Uh, with bite marks on it.
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bite marks.
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On the.
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On the part that connects to the microphone.
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So that's great.
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That's great.
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How are you? Where you dear soul.
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I just recorded a.
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Instagram story for the first time in a long time with my face.
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I used to do it a lot.
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And.
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I don't know, I just got out of the habit.
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But, um, Um, the story.
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I said that I am beginning to get tired talking to myself.
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Um, shockingly, it took a decent amount of time.
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Uh, It's a tire up.
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Um, And in saying that I'm inviting anyone that.
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Is an artist, a maker, and you know, me, I.
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I, you know me.
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We literally never met.
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Um, feels like I know you and I've never seen your face.
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Um, I believe everyone is an artist in their own way.
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And if you identify as so.
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Uh, I would love to have you on the show and just talk about.
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Life and the bullshit and the magic of it.
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And, um, you know, the big questions that keep you up at night and all that good stuff.
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Uh, so if you're interested, find me on Instagram and shoot me a message.
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I would love to.
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Hear from you.
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Um, Yeah, I feel like I went into hibernation mode and I didn't really have like the capacity.
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To authentically.
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Connect with people, especially like meeting new people.
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I just have been so tired.
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And it's probably the weather getting warm again, and I'm actually getting some friggin and vitamin D and all that, but I am really craving.
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Interaction with.
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Just more people Yeah, I don't, I have just been unlike myself, but in a good way.
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Like I reached out to someone recently, like, uh, someone I've never spoken to before.
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Um, or knew of at all, just because I fell in love with her.
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A song.
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I heard her sing and now.
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Um, we might be working together and I'm just so excited and happy and.
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I'm like, oh, is this what happens when you.
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Talk to people.
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So.
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I am.
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Basically looking forward to talking to more people.
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And my own sick and twisted way.
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I have.
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Made this in my mind mean I was talking to people like making the podcast.
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Um, But really I'm alone in my basement.
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And indirectly talking to you.
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I don't have that human.
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Interaction happening.
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So.
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Andy hill.
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With that said today, I was.
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Continuing to read this book.
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Am I halfway through? Not quite, almost halfway through this book, um, to photograph is to learn how to die.
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Um, by Tim carpenter and I am.
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Absolutely loving it.
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Every part I'm loving the parts that I disagree with and loving the parts I've never thought of before.
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I'm loving the parts that I've felt inside my body for so long, but never understood how to articulate and.
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Um, He does it.
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So interestingly and I love it.
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But while I was.
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Reading today this morning.
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I wrote down two notes.
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That I wanted to just talk about out loud.
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Uh, it's really important for me to like extract the things.
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That.
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I noticed make me feel so alone.
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Inside myself that happens like in my normal goings on, in case.
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Uh, you identify with this too.
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Um, One of the things was.
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Especially when they're so innocent there.
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So there's no shame or in sit insidiousness in terms of the people involved in these conversations.
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It's truly just riveting that I'm starting to notice.
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Um, different layers of things that are social norms and common in our day-to-day lives that are actually that feel.
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Uncomfortable these days.
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And like I'm noticing them in a new light.
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Uh, so one of them.
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Uh, my partner had gone away for a handful of days and.
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When he came back, I had.
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And it was really hard.
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It's, it's really hard when I'm alone with the kids, because they're just so much more demanding of me in a different way.
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Uh, I know I travel a lot for work, so I'm gone a lot and a lot.
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Like one week a month, ish, give or take like this month.
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I haven't gone.
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Um, and I will.
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Again soon, but.
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It's just different when it's just him.
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Like.
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Versus just me.
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And while I, he was gone.
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There was a day.
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That I had remembered to bring out the garbage purely because.
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The other houses all had their garbages out and that's normally something I don't do.
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And when he came back and this is so stupidly saying it out loud, but I have to say it out loud.
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This is how I feel.
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This is how I feel.
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Goddammit.
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He was like, Oh, you, you, you took the garbage out.
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I'm like, yeah, I did.
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He's like, oh, good job.
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Like that's awesome.
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And immediately I felt myself like.
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Tents up.
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Like, I felt like.
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I felt like that little girl, when my parents would be like, so overly, um, complimentary or like, oh my gosh, like.
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Um, I don't know.
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You're so smart or you're so whatever, and I just felt like instantly, like my, in my little head, like.
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Okay.
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Line here, like as if you're.
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Measuring yourself against a wall and you put that pencil line.
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It's like, okay.
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I can never do below that now.
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I can never do below that.
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I can't ever go below that.
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And I know that he doesn't mean it like that way.
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Uh, at all at all at all.
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But when he said good job, like.
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Cause he knew it's just been so much and it's a lot for me too.
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W happy with both the kids and blah, blah, blah.
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And I was tired and all that.
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Um, So he was impressed, but then in my head I'm like, oh, no, like, is this.
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An expectation now, which it's not.
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I know it's not, that's not him.
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That's not.
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Who he is or how he would even operate, but.
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It's just so.
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Uh, Eye opening.
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Two.
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Acknowledge.
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Your role in.
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Intentions that could occur in a relationship.
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There's this meme on Instagram.
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Makes me laugh.
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So much.
202
00:11:36,440.3456404 --> 00:11:37,610.3456404
Every time we see it.
203
00:11:38,90.3456404 --> 00:11:39,740.3456404
And it's like, um, this.
204
00:11:40,40.3456404 --> 00:11:47,540.3456404
Dude, uh, stirring like very agitated and pensively and like, So aggressively during his teacup.
205
00:11:48,20.3456404 --> 00:11:53,750.3456404
And the, uh, the quote is like, when you look up toxic traits and it describes you instead of your body.
206
00:11:58,120.3456404 --> 00:11:58,630.3456404
Oh, my gosh.
207
00:11:58,660.3456404 --> 00:11:59,440.3456404
It was so funny.
208
00:12:00,490.3456404 --> 00:12:05,410.3456404
Anyway, I, uh, I just acknowledged that.
209
00:12:05,830.3456404 --> 00:12:10,690.3456404
I don't know that before I would've put my finger on that and been able to identify that.
210
00:12:11,140.3456404 --> 00:12:16,480.3456404
Uh, I think that I attribute that kind of acknowledgement and awareness to.
211
00:12:17,50.3456404 --> 00:12:18,910.3456404
The NLP.
212
00:12:19,150.3456404 --> 00:12:21,730.3456404
Uh, sessions and certification that I've taken.
213
00:12:21,760.3456404 --> 00:12:25,750.3456404
And just, I mean, in general, I guess, getting older and just.
214
00:12:27,520.3456404 --> 00:12:28,60.3456404
I don't know.
215
00:12:28,660.3456404 --> 00:12:30,340.3456404
Being on the planet longer, but.
216
00:12:31,0.3456404 --> 00:12:31,690.3456404
Aye.
217
00:12:33,280.3456404 --> 00:12:34,210.3456404
I noticed that.
218
00:12:36,190.3456404 --> 00:12:36,610.3456404
Yeah.
219
00:12:37,810.3456404 --> 00:12:41,80.3456404
Praise has always been really hard for me.
220
00:12:41,860.3456404 --> 00:12:44,170.3456404
And it's funny because I think about how.
221
00:12:45,310.3456404 --> 00:12:46,30.3456404
Hard.
222
00:12:46,600.3456404 --> 00:12:50,50.3456404
I try to do right by my kids and how I speak to them and how I don't want to.
223
00:12:50,680.3456404 --> 00:12:52,810.3456404
Oh, you know, I'll, don't compliment there.
224
00:12:53,140.3456404 --> 00:12:54,610.3456404
Looks compliment there.
225
00:12:55,60.3456404 --> 00:12:58,630.3456404
Um, you know, insides and about them as a person and this and that.
226
00:12:58,630.3456404 --> 00:13:00,130.3456404
And if they come to you with something.
227
00:13:00,610.3456404 --> 00:13:02,380.3456404
Um, don't just say good job.
228
00:13:02,440.3456404 --> 00:13:08,530.3456404
Say how did that make you feel doing that and help them think in Wordly? And all these things and.
229
00:13:10,570.3456404 --> 00:13:16,600.3456404
Who knows my, my girlfriend and I were talking and she's like, you know, there's no adults from this era yet.
230
00:13:16,630.3456404 --> 00:13:19,600.3456404
So it's like, I wonder what kind of fucked up they might be.
231
00:13:19,600.3456404 --> 00:13:22,90.3456404
I'm like, I know, I wonder, I don't know.
232
00:13:22,360.3456404 --> 00:13:24,640.3456404
I mean, I'm willing to test that out over.
233
00:13:24,940.3456404 --> 00:13:26,650.3456404
The other option, but.
234
00:13:27,340.3456404 --> 00:13:33,700.3456404
And like, of course my parents were innocently and lovingly.
235
00:13:34,180.3456404 --> 00:13:36,190.3456404
Saying like, oh my gosh, good job.
236
00:13:36,190.3456404 --> 00:13:41,710.3456404
And when my mom would brag about me and say, oh, her teacher says she soaks up everything like a sponge.
237
00:13:42,70.3456404 --> 00:13:44,350.3456404
She didn't know that I was feeling crippled.
238
00:13:45,10.3456404 --> 00:13:46,180.3456404
I was like, oh my God.
239
00:13:46,180.3456404 --> 00:13:46,480.3456404
Okay.
240
00:13:46,780.3456404 --> 00:13:47,140.3456404
Okay.
241
00:13:47,320.3456404 --> 00:13:47,710.3456404
Okay.
242
00:13:47,740.3456404 --> 00:13:48,790.3456404
I can never disappoint them.
243
00:13:48,790.3456404 --> 00:13:49,60.3456404
Okay.
244
00:13:49,330.3456404 --> 00:13:50,830.3456404
I have to, that was impressive.
245
00:13:50,860.3456404 --> 00:13:51,100.3456404
Okay.
246
00:13:51,100.3456404 --> 00:13:53,890.3456404
I always do that, you know? Anyway.
247
00:13:54,250.3456404 --> 00:13:57,130.3456404
So there was that there was that.
248
00:13:57,790.3456404 --> 00:13:58,990.3456404
All that came from.
249
00:13:59,710.3456404 --> 00:14:03,430.3456404
A surprise, like good job from pulling the trash cans out.
250
00:14:04,390.3456404 --> 00:14:05,80.3456404
And then.
251
00:14:05,830.3456404 --> 00:14:08,560.3456404
My other, uh, related.
252
00:14:09,220.3456404 --> 00:14:10,240.3456404
Notion here.
253
00:14:10,840.3456404 --> 00:14:13,330.3456404
Was, uh, I was talking to my friend.
254
00:14:13,960.3456404 --> 00:14:16,690.3456404
Um, dearly, dearly, dearly, close friend.
255
00:14:17,560.3456404 --> 00:14:18,340.3456404
And see.
256
00:14:18,850.3456404 --> 00:14:19,630.3456404
It was.
257
00:14:20,140.3456404 --> 00:14:22,780.3456404
I forgot what the exact context was.
258
00:14:22,960.3456404 --> 00:14:23,320.3456404
But.
259
00:14:25,30.3456404 --> 00:14:33,640.3456404
It was like, oh, how was your day? Um, well, was it, was it at least productive? Was it at least productive.
260
00:14:34,990.3456404 --> 00:14:37,30.3456404
Mm.
261
00:14:39,580.3456404 --> 00:14:40,510.3456404
This need.
262
00:14:41,350.3456404 --> 00:14:42,430.3456404
For productivity.
263
00:14:45,520.3456404 --> 00:14:46,30.3456404
Oh my God.
264
00:14:46,120.3456404 --> 00:14:49,0.3456404
I mean, this one can be unwrapped and the, it feels like.
265
00:14:49,630.3456404 --> 00:14:58,90.3456404
You know, This drum that need doesn't need to be beat anymore, but at the same time, So triggering.
266
00:14:58,780.3456404 --> 00:15:01,240.3456404
I'm like no, nothing got accomplished.
267
00:15:01,270.3456404 --> 00:15:03,640.3456404
Nothing was finished.
268
00:15:04,780.3456404 --> 00:15:09,10.3456404
I mean productive in what way? Productive in a restful way.
269
00:15:09,370.3456404 --> 00:15:11,590.3456404
Was my rust productive enough.
270
00:15:12,310.3456404 --> 00:15:15,310.3456404
Did I get to check anything off? Oh gosh.
271
00:15:20,110.3456404 --> 00:15:24,730.3456404
You ever get to the point where you're just like, I'm just so exhausted by myself.
272
00:15:25,270.3456404 --> 00:15:28,780.3456404
This mental unraveling of every thing.
273
00:15:29,500.3456404 --> 00:15:29,890.3456404
But.
274
00:15:31,180.3456404 --> 00:15:33,340.3456404
It really, really, really feels like.
275
00:15:35,800.3456404 --> 00:15:37,270.3456404
That thing where.
276
00:15:38,590.3456404 --> 00:15:40,570.3456404
On a scale of.
277
00:15:41,590.3456404 --> 00:15:43,990.3456404
Skill slash awareness, whatever it is.
278
00:15:43,990.3456404 --> 00:15:44,590.3456404
It's like.
279
00:15:45,400.3456404 --> 00:15:45,910.3456404
There's.
280
00:15:47,500.3456404 --> 00:15:49,30.3456404
Unaware unskilled.
281
00:15:50,260.3456404 --> 00:15:51,10.3456404
Aware.
282
00:15:51,490.3456404 --> 00:15:52,240.3456404
Unskilled.
283
00:15:53,80.3456404 --> 00:15:54,730.3456404
Aware skilled.
284
00:15:55,360.3456404 --> 00:15:57,820.3456404
And then unaware, skilled.
285
00:15:58,750.3456404 --> 00:15:59,440.3456404
I believe that's it.
286
00:15:59,740.3456404 --> 00:16:08,200.3456404
I don't know, maybe I messed something up, but the whole idea is that you go from not recognizing anything is an issue at all.
287
00:16:08,500.3456404 --> 00:16:15,310.3456404
And then all of a sudden you see the problem, but you don't have the skills yet to actually navigate it or.
288
00:16:16,0.3456404 --> 00:16:16,720.3456404
B.
289
00:16:17,740.3456404 --> 00:16:19,390.3456404
Uh, fluent in it in any way.
290
00:16:19,900.3456404 --> 00:16:22,0.3456404
Uh, which is enraging.
291
00:16:22,0.3456404 --> 00:16:26,230.3456404
And then you get to the point where you start to be able to work through it.
292
00:16:26,440.3456404 --> 00:16:28,480.3456404
You have to be engaged.
293
00:16:28,510.3456404 --> 00:16:30,10.3456404
It has to be this purposeful.
294
00:16:30,400.3456404 --> 00:16:31,780.3456404
Um, concentrated thing.
295
00:16:31,780.3456404 --> 00:16:34,840.3456404
And then the, the highest part of it is when you're.
296
00:16:35,620.3456404 --> 00:16:41,440.3456404
You know, the mastery quote-unquote is when you're able to navigate it.
297
00:16:41,860.3456404 --> 00:16:43,540.3456404
Unaware like completely.
298
00:16:44,950.3456404 --> 00:16:50,500.3456404
Naturally subconsciously organically there isn't efforting to achieve that outcome.
299
00:16:51,40.3456404 --> 00:16:51,580.3456404
And.
300
00:16:52,420.3456404 --> 00:16:56,20.3456404
I feel like at this point I can fluctuate between.
301
00:16:57,610.3456404 --> 00:16:59,860.3456404
Uh, in some areas of life.
302
00:17:00,280.3456404 --> 00:17:06,40.3456404
The aware unskilled and then in others, the aware.
303
00:17:06,550.3456404 --> 00:17:07,270.3456404
Skilled.
304
00:17:07,930.3456404 --> 00:17:09,520.3456404
And it's exhausting.
305
00:17:11,740.3456404 --> 00:17:13,510.3456404
To have that level of engagement.
306
00:17:13,810.3456404 --> 00:17:14,680.3456404
Uh, throughout my day.
307
00:17:15,220.3456404 --> 00:17:15,820.3456404
Sometimes.
308
00:17:15,940.3456404 --> 00:17:17,200.3456404
So anyway.
309
00:17:18,70.3456404 --> 00:17:19,360.3456404
I just wanted to bring that here.
310
00:17:19,510.3456404 --> 00:17:20,560.3456404
I feel like.
311
00:17:22,540.3456404 --> 00:17:23,230.3456404
There is.
312
00:17:23,230.3456404 --> 00:17:31,540.3456404
So, I mean, part of it is my feed, right? Everyone's algorithm is so different and what I'm being shown all the time.
313
00:17:31,570.3456404 --> 00:17:33,40.3456404
It's like all of these.
314
00:17:33,700.3456404 --> 00:17:34,930.3456404
Well, meaning.
315
00:17:35,320.3456404 --> 00:17:39,10.3456404
Uh, creators and you know, myself not, not excluded.
316
00:17:39,400.3456404 --> 00:17:42,940.3456404
Wanting to share what they believe to be.
317
00:17:43,540.3456404 --> 00:17:46,810.3456404
Um, Something that is expansive and helpful.
318
00:17:47,230.3456404 --> 00:17:49,300.3456404
And beautiful in the world.
319
00:17:50,80.3456404 --> 00:17:56,230.3456404
And when you're inundated with that from so many areas, so many angles, it's like.
320
00:17:59,380.3456404 --> 00:18:03,280.3456404
There's always something I can be doing better and everything that comes out of my mouth, I'm noticing.
321
00:18:03,730.3456404 --> 00:18:08,170.3456404
Oh, that wasn't quite the right way to say that to my kid or, oh, um, wow.
322
00:18:08,170.3456404 --> 00:18:11,440.3456404
There's some negative self-talk I need to be softer with myself.
323
00:18:11,500.3456404 --> 00:18:15,190.3456404
Well, I'm just tired.
324
00:18:15,370.3456404 --> 00:18:16,330.3456404
I'm tired.
325
00:18:17,140.3456404 --> 00:18:18,100.3456404
I'm grateful.
326
00:18:18,130.3456404 --> 00:18:19,270.3456404
I'm grateful for the awareness.
327
00:18:19,270.3456404 --> 00:18:21,850.3456404
I'm grateful for the shift in consciousness for.
328
00:18:22,480.3456404 --> 00:18:26,50.3456404
The world that I feel like it's happening, but I'm also.
329
00:18:27,520.3456404 --> 00:18:28,480.3456404
It's a lot.
330
00:18:28,960.3456404 --> 00:18:31,510.3456404
I want to acknowledge that if you're feeling tired too.
331
00:18:32,110.3456404 --> 00:18:36,940.3456404
If you're just like, I need a break.
332
00:18:37,330.3456404 --> 00:18:38,830.3456404
I feel like I need a break.
333
00:18:38,860.3456404 --> 00:18:40,270.3456404
I need a break from.
334
00:18:41,950.3456404 --> 00:18:42,970.3456404
Consuming.
335
00:18:44,530.3456404 --> 00:18:45,280.3456404
I just want.
336
00:18:46,990.3456404 --> 00:18:50,950.3456404
Real actual human connection and creation.
337
00:18:50,980.3456404 --> 00:18:51,580.3456404
And.
338
00:18:55,210.3456404 --> 00:18:55,450.3456404
Yeah.
339
00:18:57,970.3456404 --> 00:18:58,840.3456404
It's just hard.
340
00:18:58,990.3456404 --> 00:18:59,770.3456404
It is hard.
341
00:19:01,210.3456404 --> 00:19:04,60.3456404
It doesn't have to be hard, but sometimes it just is.
342
00:19:05,260.3456404 --> 00:19:05,800.3456404
Okay.
343
00:19:05,860.3456404 --> 00:19:06,490.3456404
So.
344
00:19:07,90.3456404 --> 00:19:09,610.3456404
Going back to the actual book I was reading.
345
00:19:11,560.3456404 --> 00:19:12,220.3456404
This morning.
346
00:19:12,250.3456404 --> 00:19:15,850.3456404
I wanted to read a couple of excerpts from it, just because.
347
00:19:15,850.3456404 --> 00:19:17,320.3456404
So beautiful.
348
00:19:18,10.3456404 --> 00:19:22,540.3456404
Within the pages of this book, I'm able to find so much.
349
00:19:23,50.3456404 --> 00:19:23,650.3456404
About.
350
00:19:23,650.3456404 --> 00:19:25,240.3456404
Why I do what I do.
351
00:19:25,450.3456404 --> 00:19:26,80.3456404
What is.
352
00:19:26,80.3456404 --> 00:19:27,220.3456404
Perplexing me.
353
00:19:27,670.3456404 --> 00:19:33,310.3456404
What is so clear to me, what is so mysterious to me and I don't fucking understand.
354
00:19:33,850.3456404 --> 00:19:41,230.3456404
Um, This part is why I created a conscious creator.
355
00:19:41,380.3456404 --> 00:19:42,310.3456404
This is what I believe.
356
00:19:43,0.3456404 --> 00:19:48,400.3456404
It says, um, And yet the beautiful persists and so do eloquence and depth of thought.
357
00:19:48,700.3456404 --> 00:19:53,370.3456404
And they belong to all of us because they are the most pregnant, Evidence.
358
00:19:53,730.3456404 --> 00:19:55,800.3456404
We can have of what is possible in us.
359
00:19:56,280.3456404 --> 00:19:58,50.3456404
That last sentence is everything.
360
00:19:58,140.3456404 --> 00:20:00,210.3456404
Our responsibilities to each other.
361
00:20:00,600.3456404 --> 00:20:02,430.3456404
If they're to mean much at all.
362
00:20:02,790.3456404 --> 00:20:06,330.3456404
Must encompass a commitment to the persistence of the beautiful.
363
00:20:07,410.3456404 --> 00:20:13,140.3456404
As bow observes, people seem to have entirely forgotten culture that matters for its own sake.
364
00:20:13,530.3456404 --> 00:20:17,160.3456404
Knowledge and beauty pleasure and delight the contemplation of truth.
365
00:20:17,610.3456404 --> 00:20:19,940.3456404
Irrespective of its Instrumental uses.
366
00:20:20,360.3456404 --> 00:20:26,390.3456404
The intimate encounter with another human consciousness offered by the best works of art.
367
00:20:26,990.3456404 --> 00:20:30,290.3456404
These are among the things that make life worth living.
368
00:20:30,680.3456404 --> 00:20:40,370.3456404
If we set them aside until we have made it safely through our present emergency, we will never return to them because our present emergency will never be through.
369
00:20:41,960.3456404 --> 00:20:42,290.3456404
Amen.
370
00:20:44,120.3456404 --> 00:20:46,880.3456404
That's why every single week.
371
00:20:47,930.3456404 --> 00:20:51,500.3456404
I am grateful to log into.
372
00:20:52,400.3456404 --> 00:20:55,730.3456404
Work to conscious, greater to just be.
373
00:20:56,390.3456404 --> 00:20:59,270.3456404
In like super intimate community.
374
00:20:59,750.3456404 --> 00:21:00,350.3456404
In.
375
00:21:01,220.3456404 --> 00:21:05,720.3456404
Knowing that I'm going to prioritize space for myself and also connection to others.
376
00:21:05,720.3456404 --> 00:21:07,460.3456404
And talk about just what's on.
377
00:21:08,0.3456404 --> 00:21:08,600.3456404
What's on top.
378
00:21:09,320.3456404 --> 00:21:16,850.3456404
Okay, what else do I have here? Um, There's one more that I really wanted to read.
379
00:21:20,60.3456404 --> 00:21:21,380.3456404
Oh, this.
380
00:21:22,430.3456404 --> 00:21:24,440.3456404
This is so cool.
381
00:21:24,470.3456404 --> 00:21:24,710.3456404
Okay.
382
00:21:24,710.3456404 --> 00:21:25,430.3456404
Listen to the best.
383
00:21:26,840.3456404 --> 00:21:27,470.3456404
The past.
384
00:21:28,10.3456404 --> 00:21:32,840.3456404
Obviously it's in the context of the past that the word forgetting has its everyday currency.
385
00:21:33,200.3456404 --> 00:21:37,10.3456404
Each of us has forgotten almost every last bit of our direct experience.
386
00:21:37,310.3456404 --> 00:21:42,140.3456404
So little of what we've done and seen and read and heard remains available to us.
387
00:21:42,710.3456404 --> 00:21:51,140.3456404
Most often, this is thought of negatively as in an inconvenience or a failing as laziness or a sign of diminishing capabilities.
388
00:21:51,650.3456404 --> 00:21:53,840.3456404
And it can be all of those things for sure.
389
00:21:54,320.3456404 --> 00:21:57,950.3456404
But forgetting also has a distinctively positive effect.
390
00:21:58,490.3456404 --> 00:22:00,440.3456404
The involuntary eraser.
391
00:22:00,890.3456404 --> 00:22:05,390.3456404
Of specifics is what shapes us over time as specific individuals.
392
00:22:06,770.3456404 --> 00:22:07,370.3456404
Better yet.
393
00:22:07,640.3456404 --> 00:22:12,740.3456404
The continuous and willed winnowing of experience is the reason we have art.
394
00:22:13,100.3456404 --> 00:22:15,110.3456404
Or imagination in the first place.
395
00:22:16,700.3456404 --> 00:22:17,600.3456404
In another.
396
00:22:17,600.3456404 --> 00:22:19,790.3456404
Aside here by Lewis Hyde.
397
00:22:19,820.3456404 --> 00:22:20,300.3456404
It says.
398
00:22:21,650.3456404 --> 00:22:25,130.3456404
There are then two ways for memory to destroy imagination.
399
00:22:25,880.3456404 --> 00:22:36,470.3456404
By retaining too many abstractions, thus failing to perceive fresh detail and by retaining too many details, thus failing to perceive abstractions.
400
00:22:36,890.3456404 --> 00:22:43,850.3456404
The point is worth repeating because two beneficial categories of forgetting recur throughout these notebooks.
401
00:22:44,570.3456404 --> 00:22:45,200.3456404
In one.
402
00:22:45,590.3456404 --> 00:22:51,590.3456404
Uh, mine has become too attached to its concepts or thought habits and needs to drop them.
403
00:22:51,800.3456404 --> 00:22:54,560.3456404
So as to attend again to detail.
404
00:22:55,70.3456404 --> 00:22:55,820.3456404
In another.
405
00:22:56,600.3456404 --> 00:23:01,600.3456404
A surfeit of detail clogs the flow of thought and must be winnowed.
406
00:23:01,870.3456404 --> 00:23:05,380.3456404
So as to see the larger shapes of concept and obstruction.
407
00:23:06,130.3456404 --> 00:23:10,0.3456404
Let us reclaim, forgetting as a component of truth.
408
00:23:10,690.3456404 --> 00:23:20,50.3456404
Let us say that the self is reborn with every breath we take, that it is constantly dropping away and coming into being as conditioned to alter.
409
00:23:22,150.3456404 --> 00:23:22,870.3456404
Let us.
410
00:23:23,170.3456404 --> 00:23:27,190.3456404
Reclaim forgetting as a component of truth.
411
00:23:30,800.3456404 --> 00:23:34,790.3456404
Did anybody else? I have.
412
00:23:35,840.3456404 --> 00:23:36,680.3456404
Uh, deep.
413
00:23:37,730.3456404 --> 00:23:39,260.3456404
Comforting feeling with that.
414
00:23:39,740.3456404 --> 00:23:43,730.3456404
Like, oh, I can be okay with a form of forgetting.
415
00:23:44,360.3456404 --> 00:23:45,950.3456404
And it makes so much sense.
416
00:23:47,120.3456404 --> 00:23:48,170.3456404
It makes so much sense.
417
00:23:48,170.3456404 --> 00:23:48,920.3456404
And this is why.
418
00:23:50,120.3456404 --> 00:23:52,190.3456404
Uh, one of the things I'm so passionate about is that.
419
00:23:53,0.3456404 --> 00:23:58,400.3456404
Um, To pull the photograph, the photographic medium.
420
00:23:58,730.3456404 --> 00:23:59,960.3456404
Away from.
421
00:24:01,70.3456404 --> 00:24:02,600.3456404
The overcrowded.
422
00:24:02,990.3456404 --> 00:24:03,590.3456404
I don't know.
423
00:24:04,280.3456404 --> 00:24:05,420.3456404
It sounds so intense.
424
00:24:05,420.3456404 --> 00:24:12,80.3456404
Like, I don't want, I'm not trying to take a stance here, but like, I feel like.
425
00:24:13,160.3456404 --> 00:24:15,500.3456404
Photographs had been washed.
426
00:24:16,40.3456404 --> 00:24:18,440.3456404
So hard with this.
427
00:24:18,980.3456404 --> 00:24:20,930.3456404
Idea that photographs are so we don't forget.
428
00:24:20,930.3456404 --> 00:24:21,590.3456404
So we don't forget.
429
00:24:21,590.3456404 --> 00:24:22,280.3456404
So we don't forget.
430
00:24:22,280.3456404 --> 00:24:22,940.3456404
So we don't forget.
431
00:24:23,270.3456404 --> 00:24:24,380.3456404
It's like, whoa.
432
00:24:26,600.3456404 --> 00:24:28,550.3456404
Photographs or so we can see.
433
00:24:29,270.3456404 --> 00:24:29,720.3456404
Now.
434
00:24:30,950.3456404 --> 00:24:32,960.3456404
So we can see it more now.
435
00:24:34,610.3456404 --> 00:24:37,460.3456404
The not forgetting is a beautiful.
436
00:24:38,570.3456404 --> 00:24:39,260.3456404
Idea.
437
00:24:39,500.3456404 --> 00:24:41,180.3456404
It's a beautiful byproduct.
438
00:24:41,510.3456404 --> 00:24:43,820.3456404
It's not always accurate.
439
00:24:44,180.3456404 --> 00:24:45,650.3456404
Even if you do have a photograph.
440
00:24:47,60.3456404 --> 00:24:49,400.3456404
It's not a sure-fire way.
441
00:24:50,60.3456404 --> 00:24:50,960.3456404
Of remembering.
442
00:24:54,500.3456404 --> 00:24:58,700.3456404
But to not only, and this is what excited me so much is that.
443
00:24:59,30.3456404 --> 00:25:00,50.3456404
To not only.
444
00:25:00,50.3456404 --> 00:25:03,470.3456404
Stop using forgetting as something negative.
445
00:25:03,890.3456404 --> 00:25:04,400.3456404
This is bad.
446
00:25:04,400.3456404 --> 00:25:04,970.3456404
This is bad.
447
00:25:05,390.3456404 --> 00:25:08,600.3456404
But to then go on to classify it as.
448
00:25:11,410.3456404 --> 00:25:16,390.3456404
A component of truth, like think about what is it to forget.
449
00:25:19,180.3456404 --> 00:25:26,140.3456404
Like, what is it to forget? I get helps us.
450
00:25:28,0.3456404 --> 00:25:29,20.3456404
Make space.
451
00:25:31,90.3456404 --> 00:25:32,410.3456404
For other things.
452
00:25:33,100.3456404 --> 00:25:34,600.3456404
That we want to remember more.
453
00:25:35,230.3456404 --> 00:25:35,770.3456404
I don't know.
454
00:25:40,900.3456404 --> 00:25:42,700.3456404
It's it's almost like a.
455
00:25:43,360.3456404 --> 00:25:46,270.3456404
Subconscious form of choosing.
456
00:25:48,220.3456404 --> 00:25:48,640.3456404
I don't know.
457
00:25:51,100.3456404 --> 00:25:52,780.3456404
But I love thinking about it.
458
00:25:54,900.3456404 --> 00:25:56,40.3456404
You know, I was.
459
00:25:56,40.3456404 --> 00:25:57,750.3456404
Having a moment, the other day in the car.
460
00:25:58,200.3456404 --> 00:25:59,280.3456404
Where I just felt.
461
00:26:00,270.3456404 --> 00:26:00,720.3456404
Like I had.
462
00:26:01,380.3456404 --> 00:26:03,330.3456404
I was on Instagram too much that day.
463
00:26:03,420.3456404 --> 00:26:13,830.3456404
And I'd seen some beautiful you to full photographs of, um, You know, some, a couple photographers and their own.
464
00:26:14,310.3456404 --> 00:26:14,790.3456404
Kids.
465
00:26:14,850.3456404 --> 00:26:20,640.3456404
And I just have this wash of like guilt and shame and I'm like, I don't photograph.
466
00:26:21,360.3456404 --> 00:26:22,530.3456404
My own family enough.
467
00:26:22,560.3456404 --> 00:26:24,0.3456404
I don't photograph them enough.
468
00:26:24,480.3456404 --> 00:26:24,960.3456404
I take.
469
00:26:25,680.3456404 --> 00:26:27,960.3456404
Cell phone photos of every single day, but I don't.
470
00:26:28,770.3456404 --> 00:26:30,450.3456404
Photograph them enough.
471
00:26:31,440.3456404 --> 00:26:32,670.3456404
And I'm like, hold on a second.
472
00:26:34,430.3456404 --> 00:26:48,350.3456404
Is that true? Is that really true? Why am I wanting to photograph them more? Is it because I have intimate access to them and I want to be.
473
00:26:48,350.3456404 --> 00:26:49,400.3456404
Exercising that.
474
00:26:51,230.3456404 --> 00:26:55,550.3456404
Is it because I don't feel like I'm going to.
475
00:26:55,550.3456404 --> 00:26:56,660.3456404
Be able to.
476
00:26:57,680.3456404 --> 00:26:58,700.3456404
Remember.
477
00:26:59,300.3456404 --> 00:27:00,770.3456404
As vividly.
478
00:27:01,610.3456404 --> 00:27:02,360.3456404
Don't forget.
479
00:27:03,200.3456404 --> 00:27:04,190.3456404
I'm like what I just talked about.
480
00:27:06,230.3456404 --> 00:27:06,980.3456404
Or.
481
00:27:08,870.3456404 --> 00:27:09,290.3456404
Is it.
482
00:27:09,620.3456404 --> 00:27:11,60.3456404
A question of.
483
00:27:12,760.3456404 --> 00:27:14,50.3456404
I'm scared.
484
00:27:14,50.3456404 --> 00:27:16,420.3456404
I am not seeing them as deeply.
485
00:27:16,810.3456404 --> 00:27:17,290.3456404
Now.
486
00:27:20,450.3456404 --> 00:27:22,640.3456404
And then when I got to the now part.
487
00:27:22,820.3456404 --> 00:27:24,110.3456404
Like, that's not true.
488
00:27:25,670.3456404 --> 00:27:26,780.3456404
I know I am.
489
00:27:28,430.3456404 --> 00:27:28,880.3456404
Aye.
490
00:27:29,180.3456404 --> 00:27:29,690.3456404
Aye.
491
00:27:30,20.3456404 --> 00:27:31,310.3456404
In that moment, have those.
492
00:27:32,240.3456404 --> 00:27:36,80.3456404
Recollections of all the times, just in the past couple of days where.
493
00:27:37,400.3456404 --> 00:27:41,0.3456404
I'll be in a moment looking at my kids or my family and see something.
494
00:27:41,0.3456404 --> 00:27:41,480.3456404
And I just.
495
00:27:41,960.3456404 --> 00:27:43,820.3456404
It's almost like sound goes away.
496
00:27:44,30.3456404 --> 00:27:50,930.3456404
Uh, that's something, this is something that I talk about in my first ever course that I created manifest your memories.
497
00:27:51,470.3456404 --> 00:27:51,890.3456404
And.
498
00:27:52,910.3456404 --> 00:27:54,410.3456404
This idea of.
499
00:27:55,940.3456404 --> 00:27:57,410.3456404
Heightening our senses.
500
00:27:57,650.3456404 --> 00:28:03,560.3456404
When if you like, hold your ears to see better close your eyes to hear better.
501
00:28:03,860.3456404 --> 00:28:08,660.3456404
And like what happens when you do both and you go inside yourself.
502
00:28:09,320.3456404 --> 00:28:13,970.3456404
Um, And this idea that we don't even have to take a picture too.
503
00:28:14,630.3456404 --> 00:28:17,600.3456404
Have that experience of like seeing deeper into a moment.
504
00:28:17,840.3456404 --> 00:28:21,230.3456404
The thing that the photograph helps us do taking the pictures helps us do.
505
00:28:21,950.3456404 --> 00:28:23,240.3456404
It's a choice.
506
00:28:23,240.3456404 --> 00:28:23,840.3456404
It's not.
507
00:28:25,790.3456404 --> 00:28:28,10.3456404
Um, a requirement or a burden.
508
00:28:29,270.3456404 --> 00:28:31,160.3456404
It's not supposed to be a burden, right.
509
00:28:33,950.3456404 --> 00:28:34,280.3456404
Is it.
510
00:28:34,790.3456404 --> 00:28:35,60.3456404
I don't know.
511
00:28:42,500.3456404 --> 00:28:44,90.3456404
It's really hard for me too.
512
00:28:44,900.3456404 --> 00:28:49,550.3456404
Say anything without having that thought of like, well, it could be for a person that could be someone's truth.
513
00:28:49,550.3456404 --> 00:28:50,600.3456404
That could be someone's truth.
514
00:28:51,770.3456404 --> 00:28:54,800.3456404
But I can only speak to mine and mine.
515
00:28:55,310.3456404 --> 00:28:55,940.3456404
Is that.
516
00:29:01,880.3456404 --> 00:29:03,530.3456404
I know it's really healthy, too.
517
00:29:03,860.3456404 --> 00:29:08,990.3456404
Question yourself and do that gut check and, you know, confirm that your.
518
00:29:09,500.3456404 --> 00:29:11,60.3456404
Kind of living life the way you want to live it.
519
00:29:12,170.3456404 --> 00:29:15,200.3456404
And being in your life the way you want to be in your life.
520
00:29:17,210.3456404 --> 00:29:22,280.3456404
But as I've reflected in the last couple of podcast episodes about being kind of exhausted.
521
00:29:22,730.3456404 --> 00:29:24,380.3456404
With all the intentionality.
522
00:29:25,860.3456404 --> 00:29:31,650.3456404
Is there a time and space where I have that feeling that pain of like guilt or shame.
523
00:29:31,680.3456404 --> 00:29:32,760.3456404
And I could just.
524
00:29:34,950.3456404 --> 00:29:37,50.3456404
Let go and trust myself and to know.
525
00:29:37,680.3456404 --> 00:29:38,160.3456404
That.
526
00:29:39,900.3456404 --> 00:29:40,890.3456404
When it's right.
527
00:29:40,950.3456404 --> 00:29:42,270.3456404
And when it's for.
528
00:29:43,620.3456404 --> 00:29:46,230.3456404
Me and the purity of the act.
529
00:29:47,100.3456404 --> 00:29:49,650.3456404
That actual camera gets picked up.
530
00:29:49,830.3456404 --> 00:29:52,20.3456404
Like those photographs get made in that way.
531
00:29:55,260.3456404 --> 00:29:57,720.3456404
And those cell phone photographs are no less.
532
00:29:58,950.3456404 --> 00:30:02,460.3456404
No less worthy than the photographs I would take.
533
00:30:03,210.3456404 --> 00:30:06,30.3456404
Uh, with my quote unquote real camera.
534
00:30:07,710.3456404 --> 00:30:15,810.3456404
Are you a photographer who feels like they don't photograph their family enough? Maybe you have the opposite problem.
535
00:30:15,810.3456404 --> 00:30:18,720.3456404
Maybe you feel like you photograph them all the time and.
536
00:30:19,350.3456404 --> 00:30:22,470.3456404
Maybe we should create some space around it or whatever.
537
00:30:25,890.3456404 --> 00:30:26,190.3456404
Hm.
538
00:30:27,690.3456404 --> 00:30:28,230.3456404
I don't know.
539
00:30:31,190.3456404 --> 00:30:34,130.3456404
I feel so lucky to have this space.
540
00:30:34,730.3456404 --> 00:30:38,480.3456404
That I come to and speak out loud.
541
00:30:38,480.3456404 --> 00:30:40,70.3456404
All of like the inner most.
542
00:30:40,700.3456404 --> 00:30:43,880.3456404
Nooks and crannies that run rampant in my brain.
543
00:30:44,540.3456404 --> 00:30:45,320.3456404
Because.
544
00:30:45,320.3456404 --> 00:30:48,290.3456404
Well, when I, I really believe it's so important.
545
00:30:48,740.3456404 --> 00:30:54,770.3456404
To have this level of transparency and honesty and, uh, I've personally been hurt.
546
00:30:55,250.3456404 --> 00:31:02,420.3456404
Uh, and suffered the consequence of not being privy to the truth of life experiences.
547
00:31:02,630.3456404 --> 00:31:03,470.3456404
Myself.
548
00:31:04,370.3456404 --> 00:31:12,710.3456404
In, uh, you know, so many times where I'm like, I just wish I would've known that this was possible, or I wish that I would've had some awareness or.
549
00:31:13,250.3456404 --> 00:31:15,950.3456404
I feel like I've been lied to by no one and everyone.
550
00:31:17,600.3456404 --> 00:31:23,270.3456404
So there's that element and there's also the element of, you know, inwardly for myself.
551
00:31:23,750.3456404 --> 00:31:27,440.3456404
If I didn't have this platform, if I didn't have this podcast that.
552
00:31:28,580.3456404 --> 00:31:34,190.3456404
Created the space for me to kind of get in with the weeds of this and like pick it apart and speak it out loud.
553
00:31:34,190.3456404 --> 00:31:34,340.3456404
And.
554
00:31:35,30.3456404 --> 00:31:36,470.3456404
You know, voice it and give it.
555
00:31:37,160.3456404 --> 00:31:37,970.3456404
The air.
556
00:31:38,660.3456404 --> 00:31:39,440.3456404
And it kind of.
557
00:31:40,400.3456404 --> 00:31:44,960.3456404
Makes it real and also lets the air out of at the same time, it helps me move with it.
558
00:31:45,440.3456404 --> 00:31:48,320.3456404
Um, in a lighter way, that kind of reminds me of.
559
00:31:48,830.3456404 --> 00:31:52,160.3456404
Uh, an NLP process where it's like a really heavy.
560
00:31:52,580.3456404 --> 00:32:01,580.3456404
Thing to talk about, and it can be ha feel heavy to be in that process where you're reflecting on a memory and being asked these really tough questions.
561
00:32:01,940.3456404 --> 00:32:07,370.3456404
But then afterwards there's such a freedom and expansive feeling that comes with it.
562
00:32:07,370.3456404 --> 00:32:08,510.3456404
And then you just walk.
563
00:32:08,870.3456404 --> 00:32:10,820.3456404
Through your life in this new way.
564
00:32:11,180.3456404 --> 00:32:14,180.3456404
And I feel like I'm able to do that every week.
565
00:32:14,780.3456404 --> 00:32:16,70.3456404
Uh, with.
566
00:32:16,820.3456404 --> 00:32:18,560.3456404
With the things that I ended up sharing.
567
00:32:18,560.3456404 --> 00:32:24,980.3456404
So I just, um, thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming to the space and.
568
00:32:27,380.3456404 --> 00:32:30,290.3456404
And listening to my truth and I'm.
569
00:32:31,640.3456404 --> 00:32:34,850.3456404
I really, really, really, really, truly hope that.
570
00:32:35,570.3456404 --> 00:32:36,830.3456404
It serves you.
571
00:32:37,710.3456404 --> 00:32:38,970.3456404
however you need it.
572
00:32:39,270.3456404 --> 00:32:43,500.3456404
However, even if it's just chuckling and being like, oh my God, this freak.
573
00:32:48,720.3456404 --> 00:32:50,250.3456404
I doubt it.
574
00:32:50,310.3456404 --> 00:32:52,470.3456404
I mean, cause if you're listening, you're a freak D.
575
00:32:55,560.3456404 --> 00:32:56,40.3456404
Okay.
576
00:32:56,490.3456404 --> 00:32:58,860.3456404
I think that signifies the end of this episode.
577
00:32:59,760.3456404 --> 00:33:02,970.3456404
Like now I'm like giggling with the person that's not here in front of me.
578
00:33:06,270.3456404 --> 00:33:06,780.3456404
Okay.
579
00:33:07,200.3456404 --> 00:33:07,770.3456404
Okay.
580
00:33:07,800.3456404 --> 00:33:09,240.3456404
So I.
581
00:33:09,970.3456404 --> 00:33:12,790.3456404
I am letting you know.
582
00:33:13,390.3456404 --> 00:33:19,0.3456404
That conscious creator is my monthly membership for.
583
00:33:20,380.3456404 --> 00:33:26,140.3456404
All forms of creatives, all forms of makers, all forms of artists to come together every week.
584
00:33:26,560.3456404 --> 00:33:28,600.3456404
Uh, the first hour is Ollie's.
585
00:33:29,320.3456404 --> 00:33:33,940.3456404
Coworking we sign on, we say, hello, what you doing? Okay, we're going on? Mute.
586
00:33:34,210.3456404 --> 00:33:36,250.3456404
Take our cameras off for the first hour.
587
00:33:36,730.3456404 --> 00:33:49,270.3456404
And we just work, whatever that is, whether it's closing your eyes for an hour, because you just need the space to stare at a wall or the inside of your eyelids or you're editing photos or you're writing whatever.
588
00:33:49,660.3456404 --> 00:33:51,640.3456404
And then that second hour we come off mute.
589
00:33:52,90.3456404 --> 00:33:53,50.3456404
And we talk about.
590
00:33:53,470.3456404 --> 00:33:59,230.3456404
What's up in life in art and what we just worked on in what we want to work on.
591
00:33:59,650.3456404 --> 00:34:03,250.3456404
And, um, yeah, and I, I absolutely love holding the space.
592
00:34:03,310.3456404 --> 00:34:09,220.3456404
I am a certified NLP practitioner, so I love introducing some quantum linguistic.
593
00:34:09,610.3456404 --> 00:34:11,170.3456404
Prompts and questions.
594
00:34:11,530.3456404 --> 00:34:15,640.3456404
And supports throughout, um, the conversation, if that is.
595
00:34:16,150.3456404 --> 00:34:17,110.3456404
Needed at all.
596
00:34:17,110.3456404 --> 00:34:19,570.3456404
And, um, yeah.
597
00:34:19,930.3456404 --> 00:34:23,170.3456404
Having these honest conversations with like-minded souls.
598
00:34:23,590.3456404 --> 00:34:26,200.3456404
Like hearted souls, we have different minds, but.
599
00:34:27,220.3456404 --> 00:34:28,360.3456404
I find that our hearts.
600
00:34:28,810.3456404 --> 00:34:30,220.3456404
Are the things that are most connected.
601
00:34:30,400.3456404 --> 00:34:30,610.3456404
So.
602
00:34:32,260.3456404 --> 00:34:34,150.3456404
Any who there she blows.
603
00:34:34,180.3456404 --> 00:34:40,750.3456404
If, um, you think of anyone that this would serve, feel free to forward them.
604
00:34:40,870.3456404 --> 00:34:43,480.3456404
Um, this podcast episode, when you share the.
605
00:34:44,20.3456404 --> 00:34:46,450.3456404
The podcast, more people like you can find it.
606
00:34:46,450.3456404 --> 00:34:51,460.3456404
So I deeply appreciate it and I will catch you next week.
607
00:34:52,723.3388377 --> 00:34:55,943.3388377
This has been an Awkward Sage Production.
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,200.0000000003
Lewis Hyde says.
2
00:00:01,200.0000000003 --> 00:00:05,70.0000000002
Let us reclaim, forgetting as a component of truth.
3
00:00:05,760.0000000002 --> 00:00:10,800
Let us reclaim forgetting as a component of truth.
4
00:00:11,410 --> 00:00:12,190
I feel like.
5
00:00:12,190 --> 00:00:14,530
Photographs had been washed.
6
00:00:15,070 --> 00:00:17,470
So hard with this.
7
00:00:18,010 --> 00:00:19,960
Idea that photographs are so we don't forget.
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So we don't forget.
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So we don't forget.
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So we don't forget.
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It's like, whoa.
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Photographs or so we can see.
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Now.
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So we can see it more now.
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The not forgetting is a beautiful.
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Idea.
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It's a beautiful byproduct.
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It's not always accurate.
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Even if you do have a photograph.
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It's not a sure-fire way.
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Of remembering.
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But this is what excited me so much is that.
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To not only.
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Stop using forgetting as something negative.
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This is bad.
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This is bad.
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But to then go on to classify it as.
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A component of truth, like think about what is it to forget.
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Like, what is it to forget? Help Me See is a podcast dedicated to the art of seeing.
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It's a space for the restless visionary with an insatiable desire to create the life and work you're meant for.
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My name is Bianca Lea Mora, and I'm a photographic artist, a mother, and a coach who's transformed my fear of loss into power, art, and philosophy.
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One of the scariest quotes I never want to say is, I wish I knew at the time, but I truly believe that we have the innate ability to bring our wise 2020 hindsight to our now.
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You can deeply experience your nostalgia now, while it's actually happening, with no regrets.
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All you have to do is see.
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In this show, we laugh, we cry, we get inspired, we overshare, we have life changing conversations around making meaning, self discovery, and shedding all the BS layers in order to reconnect to our own sacred vision.
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Seeing yourself is an essential key to living powerfully.
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You are the vessel, the lens that filters absolutely everything in your life.
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What are you filtering for? Whether it be conversations with fellow artists and visionaries, or my solo audio journal style introspective ramblings, each episode is meant to feel like an exhale, an unraveling of truth, a moment for you to be able to put your finger on something that you haven't been able to for far too long.
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Come exactly as you are.
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It's perfect.
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Honor your instincts.
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Let's uncover some of the most important things in our lives which all too often can slip out from our view.
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Let's commit to seeing and consciously creating what only you can in your one and only life.
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Let's dive in.
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Help me.
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00:03:17,320.3456404 --> 00:03:19,630.3456404
I just want to say, help me see.
47
00:03:20,50.3456404 --> 00:03:23,800.3456404
Like welcome to another episode of help me see, and it just came out, helped me.
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00:03:25,600.3456404 --> 00:03:27,160.3456404
I think I meant it meant it.
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00:03:27,280.3456404 --> 00:03:29,320.3456404
I really meant it helped me.
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My partner just wanted to take.
51
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The kids to their sports.
52
00:03:36,220.3456404 --> 00:03:38,440.3456404
Um, class for the first time on his own.
53
00:03:38,530.3456404 --> 00:03:40,600.3456404
And I'm like, oh, I get time by myself.
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00:03:40,630.3456404 --> 00:03:43,630.3456404
Oh my gosh, you have to scurry downstairs and record my podcast episode.
55
00:03:43,630.3456404 --> 00:03:43,780.3456404
And.
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Just do some stuff.
57
00:03:45,670.3456404 --> 00:03:47,740.3456404
I don't know, just be alone and do some stuff.
58
00:03:48,310.3456404 --> 00:03:51,670.3456404
And I just spent the last 20 fucking minutes.
59
00:03:52,90.3456404 --> 00:03:55,450.3456404
Looking for the core to connect my microphone.
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To my computer.
61
00:03:58,210.3456404 --> 00:04:00,910.3456404
And um, serves me right for leaving it out.
62
00:04:01,30.3456404 --> 00:04:03,760.3456404
Well, I know the boys come down here randomly.
63
00:04:04,240.3456404 --> 00:04:05,560.3456404
And I finally found it.
64
00:04:06,10.3456404 --> 00:04:08,20.3456404
Uh, with bite marks on it.
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00:04:10,270.3456404 --> 00:04:10,990.3456404
bite marks.
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00:04:11,980.3456404 --> 00:04:13,0.3456404
On the.
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On the part that connects to the microphone.
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00:04:16,810.3456404 --> 00:04:17,560.3456404
So that's great.
69
00:04:17,920.3456404 --> 00:04:18,640.3456404
That's great.
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00:04:20,410.3456404 --> 00:04:24,70.3456404
How are you? Where you dear soul.
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00:04:25,870.3456404 --> 00:04:27,940.3456404
I just recorded a.
72
00:04:28,840.3456404 --> 00:04:32,440.3456404
Instagram story for the first time in a long time with my face.
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00:04:33,190.3456404 --> 00:04:34,150.3456404
I used to do it a lot.
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00:04:34,210.3456404 --> 00:04:34,420.3456404
And.
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I don't know, I just got out of the habit.
76
00:04:37,320.3456404 --> 00:04:40,50.3456404
But, um, Um, the story.
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I said that I am beginning to get tired talking to myself.
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00:04:45,780.3456404 --> 00:04:49,860.3456404
Um, shockingly, it took a decent amount of time.
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00:04:50,580.3456404 --> 00:04:52,530.3456404
Uh, It's a tire up.
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00:04:53,280.3456404 --> 00:04:58,680.3456404
Um, And in saying that I'm inviting anyone that.
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Is an artist, a maker, and you know, me, I.
82
00:05:02,880.3456404 --> 00:05:04,530.3456404
I, you know me.
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00:05:04,680.3456404 --> 00:05:06,120.3456404
We literally never met.
84
00:05:06,900.3456404 --> 00:05:10,530.3456404
Um, feels like I know you and I've never seen your face.
85
00:05:11,700.3456404 --> 00:05:19,260.3456404
Um, I believe everyone is an artist in their own way.
86
00:05:19,350.3456404 --> 00:05:21,90.3456404
And if you identify as so.
87
00:05:21,540.3456404 --> 00:05:25,320.3456404
Uh, I would love to have you on the show and just talk about.
88
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Life and the bullshit and the magic of it.
89
00:05:30,630.3456404 --> 00:05:35,910.3456404
And, um, you know, the big questions that keep you up at night and all that good stuff.
90
00:05:36,600.3456404 --> 00:05:40,650.3456404
Uh, so if you're interested, find me on Instagram and shoot me a message.
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00:05:40,650.3456404 --> 00:05:41,550.3456404
I would love to.
92
00:05:41,850.3456404 --> 00:05:42,810.3456404
Hear from you.
93
00:05:43,320.3456404 --> 00:05:49,740.3456404
Um, Yeah, I feel like I went into hibernation mode and I didn't really have like the capacity.
94
00:05:51,30.3456404 --> 00:05:52,860.3456404
To authentically.
95
00:05:53,610.3456404 --> 00:05:57,390.3456404
Connect with people, especially like meeting new people.
96
00:05:57,390.3456404 --> 00:06:00,90.3456404
I just have been so tired.
97
00:06:00,570.3456404 --> 00:06:09,240.3456404
And it's probably the weather getting warm again, and I'm actually getting some friggin and vitamin D and all that, but I am really craving.
98
00:06:09,900.3456404 --> 00:06:11,670.3456404
Interaction with.
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00:06:12,810.3456404 --> 00:06:18,380.3456404
Just more people Yeah, I don't, I have just been unlike myself, but in a good way.
100
00:06:20,30.3456404 --> 00:06:26,870.3456404
Like I reached out to someone recently, like, uh, someone I've never spoken to before.
101
00:06:26,900.3456404 --> 00:06:31,730.3456404
Um, or knew of at all, just because I fell in love with her.
102
00:06:32,330.3456404 --> 00:06:32,900.3456404
A song.
103
00:06:32,900.3456404 --> 00:06:34,580.3456404
I heard her sing and now.
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00:06:35,90.3456404 --> 00:06:39,200.3456404
Um, we might be working together and I'm just so excited and happy and.
105
00:06:39,740.3456404 --> 00:06:41,840.3456404
I'm like, oh, is this what happens when you.
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Talk to people.
107
00:06:45,320.3456404 --> 00:06:46,160.3456404
So.
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I am.
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Basically looking forward to talking to more people.
110
00:06:52,970.3456404 --> 00:06:54,350.3456404
And my own sick and twisted way.
111
00:06:54,350.3456404 --> 00:06:54,770.3456404
I have.
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00:06:55,100.3456404 --> 00:06:59,240.3456404
Made this in my mind mean I was talking to people like making the podcast.
113
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Um, But really I'm alone in my basement.
114
00:07:05,390.3456404 --> 00:07:07,460.3456404
And indirectly talking to you.
115
00:07:07,460.3456404 --> 00:07:09,260.3456404
I don't have that human.
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Interaction happening.
117
00:07:11,120.3456404 --> 00:07:11,390.3456404
So.
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Andy hill.
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With that said today, I was.
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00:07:18,200.3456404 --> 00:07:19,610.3456404
Continuing to read this book.
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00:07:19,700.3456404 --> 00:07:25,400.3456404
Am I halfway through? Not quite, almost halfway through this book, um, to photograph is to learn how to die.
122
00:07:26,30.3456404 --> 00:07:28,490.3456404
Um, by Tim carpenter and I am.
123
00:07:29,240.3456404 --> 00:07:30,200.3456404
Absolutely loving it.
124
00:07:30,350.3456404 --> 00:07:35,90.3456404
Every part I'm loving the parts that I disagree with and loving the parts I've never thought of before.
125
00:07:35,390.3456404 --> 00:07:42,710.3456404
I'm loving the parts that I've felt inside my body for so long, but never understood how to articulate and.
126
00:07:43,250.3456404 --> 00:07:45,620.3456404
Um, He does it.
127
00:07:45,650.3456404 --> 00:07:48,530.3456404
So interestingly and I love it.
128
00:07:49,520.3456404 --> 00:07:50,540.3456404
But while I was.
129
00:07:51,440.3456404 --> 00:07:53,180.3456404
Reading today this morning.
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00:07:54,560.3456404 --> 00:07:57,470.3456404
I wrote down two notes.
131
00:07:57,740.3456404 --> 00:07:59,930.3456404
That I wanted to just talk about out loud.
132
00:08:00,410.3456404 --> 00:08:04,310.3456404
Uh, it's really important for me to like extract the things.
133
00:08:04,760.3456404 --> 00:08:05,270.3456404
That.
134
00:08:05,930.3456404 --> 00:08:09,530.3456404
I noticed make me feel so alone.
135
00:08:09,860.3456404 --> 00:08:13,190.3456404
Inside myself that happens like in my normal goings on, in case.
136
00:08:13,520.3456404 --> 00:08:15,50.3456404
Uh, you identify with this too.
137
00:08:15,500.3456404 --> 00:08:18,710.3456404
Um, One of the things was.
138
00:08:19,700.3456404 --> 00:08:21,890.3456404
Especially when they're so innocent there.
139
00:08:21,920.3456404 --> 00:08:29,390.3456404
So there's no shame or in sit insidiousness in terms of the people involved in these conversations.
140
00:08:29,390.3456404 --> 00:08:33,380.3456404
It's truly just riveting that I'm starting to notice.
141
00:08:33,680.3456404 --> 00:08:42,410.3456404
Um, different layers of things that are social norms and common in our day-to-day lives that are actually that feel.
142
00:08:44,810.3456404 --> 00:08:46,70.3456404
Uncomfortable these days.
143
00:08:46,130.3456404 --> 00:08:48,470.3456404
And like I'm noticing them in a new light.
144
00:08:48,590.3456404 --> 00:08:50,510.3456404
Uh, so one of them.
145
00:08:51,590.3456404 --> 00:08:57,260.3456404
Uh, my partner had gone away for a handful of days and.
146
00:08:58,310.3456404 --> 00:09:01,220.3456404
When he came back, I had.
147
00:09:01,730.3456404 --> 00:09:02,420.3456404
And it was really hard.
148
00:09:02,420.3456404 --> 00:09:08,990.3456404
It's, it's really hard when I'm alone with the kids, because they're just so much more demanding of me in a different way.
149
00:09:09,500.3456404 --> 00:09:15,440.3456404
Uh, I know I travel a lot for work, so I'm gone a lot and a lot.
150
00:09:16,160.3456404 --> 00:09:20,270.3456404
Like one week a month, ish, give or take like this month.
151
00:09:20,540.3456404 --> 00:09:21,320.3456404
I haven't gone.
152
00:09:21,770.3456404 --> 00:09:22,700.3456404
Um, and I will.
153
00:09:23,150.3456404 --> 00:09:24,200.3456404
Again soon, but.
154
00:09:25,940.3456404 --> 00:09:29,270.3456404
It's just different when it's just him.
155
00:09:29,300.3456404 --> 00:09:29,510.3456404
Like.
156
00:09:30,170.3456404 --> 00:09:31,220.3456404
Versus just me.
157
00:09:31,730.3456404 --> 00:09:33,500.3456404
And while I, he was gone.
158
00:09:34,340.3456404 --> 00:09:35,750.3456404
There was a day.
159
00:09:35,870.3456404 --> 00:09:40,640.3456404
That I had remembered to bring out the garbage purely because.
160
00:09:41,540.3456404 --> 00:09:45,590.3456404
The other houses all had their garbages out and that's normally something I don't do.
161
00:09:46,520.3456404 --> 00:09:53,60.3456404
And when he came back and this is so stupidly saying it out loud, but I have to say it out loud.
162
00:09:53,90.3456404 --> 00:09:53,990.3456404
This is how I feel.
163
00:09:54,350.3456404 --> 00:09:55,100.3456404
This is how I feel.
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00:09:55,130.3456404 --> 00:09:55,610.3456404
Goddammit.
165
00:09:56,150.3456404 --> 00:10:01,430.3456404
He was like, Oh, you, you, you took the garbage out.
166
00:10:01,460.3456404 --> 00:10:02,270.3456404
I'm like, yeah, I did.
167
00:10:02,300.3456404 --> 00:10:03,890.3456404
He's like, oh, good job.
168
00:10:04,250.3456404 --> 00:10:05,240.3456404
Like that's awesome.
169
00:10:05,360.3456404 --> 00:10:08,300.3456404
And immediately I felt myself like.
170
00:10:09,80.3456404 --> 00:10:09,800.3456404
Tents up.
171
00:10:09,830.3456404 --> 00:10:10,850.3456404
Like, I felt like.
172
00:10:14,570.3456404 --> 00:10:24,20.3456404
I felt like that little girl, when my parents would be like, so overly, um, complimentary or like, oh my gosh, like.
173
00:10:25,40.3456404 --> 00:10:26,420.3456404
Um, I don't know.
174
00:10:26,570.3456404 --> 00:10:32,210.3456404
You're so smart or you're so whatever, and I just felt like instantly, like my, in my little head, like.
175
00:10:32,930.3456404 --> 00:10:33,380.3456404
Okay.
176
00:10:33,410.3456404 --> 00:10:35,330.3456404
Line here, like as if you're.
177
00:10:36,350.3456404 --> 00:10:39,230.3456404
Measuring yourself against a wall and you put that pencil line.
178
00:10:39,260.3456404 --> 00:10:39,710.3456404
It's like, okay.
179
00:10:40,10.3456404 --> 00:10:41,810.3456404
I can never do below that now.
180
00:10:42,110.3456404 --> 00:10:43,190.3456404
I can never do below that.
181
00:10:43,310.3456404 --> 00:10:45,260.3456404
I can't ever go below that.
182
00:10:46,70.3456404 --> 00:10:48,140.3456404
And I know that he doesn't mean it like that way.
183
00:10:48,260.3456404 --> 00:10:50,210.3456404
Uh, at all at all at all.
184
00:10:50,750.3456404 --> 00:10:52,460.3456404
But when he said good job, like.
185
00:10:53,180.3456404 --> 00:10:56,450.3456404
Cause he knew it's just been so much and it's a lot for me too.
186
00:10:56,600.3456404 --> 00:10:58,670.3456404
W happy with both the kids and blah, blah, blah.
187
00:10:58,700.3456404 --> 00:10:59,840.3456404
And I was tired and all that.
188
00:11:00,830.3456404 --> 00:11:05,630.3456404
Um, So he was impressed, but then in my head I'm like, oh, no, like, is this.
189
00:11:06,110.3456404 --> 00:11:08,360.3456404
An expectation now, which it's not.
190
00:11:08,570.3456404 --> 00:11:10,280.3456404
I know it's not, that's not him.
191
00:11:10,280.3456404 --> 00:11:10,730.3456404
That's not.
192
00:11:11,540.3456404 --> 00:11:14,180.3456404
Who he is or how he would even operate, but.
193
00:11:16,250.3456404 --> 00:11:17,870.3456404
It's just so.
194
00:11:19,190.3456404 --> 00:11:21,380.3456404
Uh, Eye opening.
195
00:11:22,10.3456404 --> 00:11:22,820.3456404
Two.
196
00:11:23,420.3456404 --> 00:11:24,500.3456404
Acknowledge.
197
00:11:25,40.3456404 --> 00:11:26,810.3456404
Your role in.
198
00:11:27,890.3456404 --> 00:11:30,620.3456404
Intentions that could occur in a relationship.
199
00:11:31,100.3456404 --> 00:11:32,840.3456404
There's this meme on Instagram.
200
00:11:33,680.3456404 --> 00:11:34,520.3456404
Makes me laugh.
201
00:11:34,940.3456404 --> 00:11:36,110.3456404
So much.
202
00:11:36,440.3456404 --> 00:11:37,610.3456404
Every time we see it.
203
00:11:38,90.3456404 --> 00:11:39,740.3456404
And it's like, um, this.
204
00:11:40,40.3456404 --> 00:11:47,540.3456404
Dude, uh, stirring like very agitated and pensively and like, So aggressively during his teacup.
205
00:11:48,20.3456404 --> 00:11:53,750.3456404
And the, uh, the quote is like, when you look up toxic traits and it describes you instead of your body.
206
00:11:58,120.3456404 --> 00:11:58,630.3456404
Oh, my gosh.
207
00:11:58,660.3456404 --> 00:11:59,440.3456404
It was so funny.
208
00:12:00,490.3456404 --> 00:12:05,410.3456404
Anyway, I, uh, I just acknowledged that.
209
00:12:05,830.3456404 --> 00:12:10,690.3456404
I don't know that before I would've put my finger on that and been able to identify that.
210
00:12:11,140.3456404 --> 00:12:16,480.3456404
Uh, I think that I attribute that kind of acknowledgement and awareness to.
211
00:12:17,50.3456404 --> 00:12:18,910.3456404
The NLP.
212
00:12:19,150.3456404 --> 00:12:21,730.3456404
Uh, sessions and certification that I've taken.
213
00:12:21,760.3456404 --> 00:12:25,750.3456404
And just, I mean, in general, I guess, getting older and just.
214
00:12:27,520.3456404 --> 00:12:28,60.3456404
I don't know.
215
00:12:28,660.3456404 --> 00:12:30,340.3456404
Being on the planet longer, but.
216
00:12:31,0.3456404 --> 00:12:31,690.3456404
Aye.
217
00:12:33,280.3456404 --> 00:12:34,210.3456404
I noticed that.
218
00:12:36,190.3456404 --> 00:12:36,610.3456404
Yeah.
219
00:12:37,810.3456404 --> 00:12:41,80.3456404
Praise has always been really hard for me.
220
00:12:41,860.3456404 --> 00:12:44,170.3456404
And it's funny because I think about how.
221
00:12:45,310.3456404 --> 00:12:46,30.3456404
Hard.
222
00:12:46,600.3456404 --> 00:12:50,50.3456404
I try to do right by my kids and how I speak to them and how I don't want to.
223
00:12:50,680.3456404 --> 00:12:52,810.3456404
Oh, you know, I'll, don't compliment there.
224
00:12:53,140.3456404 --> 00:12:54,610.3456404
Looks compliment there.
225
00:12:55,60.3456404 --> 00:12:58,630.3456404
Um, you know, insides and about them as a person and this and that.
226
00:12:58,630.3456404 --> 00:13:00,130.3456404
And if they come to you with something.
227
00:13:00,610.3456404 --> 00:13:02,380.3456404
Um, don't just say good job.
228
00:13:02,440.3456404 --> 00:13:08,530.3456404
Say how did that make you feel doing that and help them think in Wordly? And all these things and.
229
00:13:10,570.3456404 --> 00:13:16,600.3456404
Who knows my, my girlfriend and I were talking and she's like, you know, there's no adults from this era yet.
230
00:13:16,630.3456404 --> 00:13:19,600.3456404
So it's like, I wonder what kind of fucked up they might be.
231
00:13:19,600.3456404 --> 00:13:22,90.3456404
I'm like, I know, I wonder, I don't know.
232
00:13:22,360.3456404 --> 00:13:24,640.3456404
I mean, I'm willing to test that out over.
233
00:13:24,940.3456404 --> 00:13:26,650.3456404
The other option, but.
234
00:13:27,340.3456404 --> 00:13:33,700.3456404
And like, of course my parents were innocently and lovingly.
235
00:13:34,180.3456404 --> 00:13:36,190.3456404
Saying like, oh my gosh, good job.
236
00:13:36,190.3456404 --> 00:13:41,710.3456404
And when my mom would brag about me and say, oh, her teacher says she soaks up everything like a sponge.
237
00:13:42,70.3456404 --> 00:13:44,350.3456404
She didn't know that I was feeling crippled.
238
00:13:45,10.3456404 --> 00:13:46,180.3456404
I was like, oh my God.
239
00:13:46,180.3456404 --> 00:13:46,480.3456404
Okay.
240
00:13:46,780.3456404 --> 00:13:47,140.3456404
Okay.
241
00:13:47,320.3456404 --> 00:13:47,710.3456404
Okay.
242
00:13:47,740.3456404 --> 00:13:48,790.3456404
I can never disappoint them.
243
00:13:48,790.3456404 --> 00:13:49,60.3456404
Okay.
244
00:13:49,330.3456404 --> 00:13:50,830.3456404
I have to, that was impressive.
245
00:13:50,860.3456404 --> 00:13:51,100.3456404
Okay.
246
00:13:51,100.3456404 --> 00:13:53,890.3456404
I always do that, you know? Anyway.
247
00:13:54,250.3456404 --> 00:13:57,130.3456404
So there was that there was that.
248
00:13:57,790.3456404 --> 00:13:58,990.3456404
All that came from.
249
00:13:59,710.3456404 --> 00:14:03,430.3456404
A surprise, like good job from pulling the trash cans out.
250
00:14:04,390.3456404 --> 00:14:05,80.3456404
And then.
251
00:14:05,830.3456404 --> 00:14:08,560.3456404
My other, uh, related.
252
00:14:09,220.3456404 --> 00:14:10,240.3456404
Notion here.
253
00:14:10,840.3456404 --> 00:14:13,330.3456404
Was, uh, I was talking to my friend.
254
00:14:13,960.3456404 --> 00:14:16,690.3456404
Um, dearly, dearly, dearly, close friend.
255
00:14:17,560.3456404 --> 00:14:18,340.3456404
And see.
256
00:14:18,850.3456404 --> 00:14:19,630.3456404
It was.
257
00:14:20,140.3456404 --> 00:14:22,780.3456404
I forgot what the exact context was.
258
00:14:22,960.3456404 --> 00:14:23,320.3456404
But.
259
00:14:25,30.3456404 --> 00:14:33,640.3456404
It was like, oh, how was your day? Um, well, was it, was it at least productive? Was it at least productive.
260
00:14:34,990.3456404 --> 00:14:37,30.3456404
Mm.
261
00:14:39,580.3456404 --> 00:14:40,510.3456404
This need.
262
00:14:41,350.3456404 --> 00:14:42,430.3456404
For productivity.
263
00:14:45,520.3456404 --> 00:14:46,30.3456404
Oh my God.
264
00:14:46,120.3456404 --> 00:14:49,0.3456404
I mean, this one can be unwrapped and the, it feels like.
265
00:14:49,630.3456404 --> 00:14:58,90.3456404
You know, This drum that need doesn't need to be beat anymore, but at the same time, So triggering.
266
00:14:58,780.3456404 --> 00:15:01,240.3456404
I'm like no, nothing got accomplished.
267
00:15:01,270.3456404 --> 00:15:03,640.3456404
Nothing was finished.
268
00:15:04,780.3456404 --> 00:15:09,10.3456404
I mean productive in what way? Productive in a restful way.
269
00:15:09,370.3456404 --> 00:15:11,590.3456404
Was my rust productive enough.
270
00:15:12,310.3456404 --> 00:15:15,310.3456404
Did I get to check anything off? Oh gosh.
271
00:15:20,110.3456404 --> 00:15:24,730.3456404
You ever get to the point where you're just like, I'm just so exhausted by myself.
272
00:15:25,270.3456404 --> 00:15:28,780.3456404
This mental unraveling of every thing.
273
00:15:29,500.3456404 --> 00:15:29,890.3456404
But.
274
00:15:31,180.3456404 --> 00:15:33,340.3456404
It really, really, really feels like.
275
00:15:35,800.3456404 --> 00:15:37,270.3456404
That thing where.
276
00:15:38,590.3456404 --> 00:15:40,570.3456404
On a scale of.
277
00:15:41,590.3456404 --> 00:15:43,990.3456404
Skill slash awareness, whatever it is.
278
00:15:43,990.3456404 --> 00:15:44,590.3456404
It's like.
279
00:15:45,400.3456404 --> 00:15:45,910.3456404
There's.
280
00:15:47,500.3456404 --> 00:15:49,30.3456404
Unaware unskilled.
281
00:15:50,260.3456404 --> 00:15:51,10.3456404
Aware.
282
00:15:51,490.3456404 --> 00:15:52,240.3456404
Unskilled.
283
00:15:53,80.3456404 --> 00:15:54,730.3456404
Aware skilled.
284
00:15:55,360.3456404 --> 00:15:57,820.3456404
And then unaware, skilled.
285
00:15:58,750.3456404 --> 00:15:59,440.3456404
I believe that's it.
286
00:15:59,740.3456404 --> 00:16:08,200.3456404
I don't know, maybe I messed something up, but the whole idea is that you go from not recognizing anything is an issue at all.
287
00:16:08,500.3456404 --> 00:16:15,310.3456404
And then all of a sudden you see the problem, but you don't have the skills yet to actually navigate it or.
288
00:16:16,0.3456404 --> 00:16:16,720.3456404
B.
289
00:16:17,740.3456404 --> 00:16:19,390.3456404
Uh, fluent in it in any way.
290
00:16:19,900.3456404 --> 00:16:22,0.3456404
Uh, which is enraging.
291
00:16:22,0.3456404 --> 00:16:26,230.3456404
And then you get to the point where you start to be able to work through it.
292
00:16:26,440.3456404 --> 00:16:28,480.3456404
You have to be engaged.
293
00:16:28,510.3456404 --> 00:16:30,10.3456404
It has to be this purposeful.
294
00:16:30,400.3456404 --> 00:16:31,780.3456404
Um, concentrated thing.
295
00:16:31,780.3456404 --> 00:16:34,840.3456404
And then the, the highest part of it is when you're.
296
00:16:35,620.3456404 --> 00:16:41,440.3456404
You know, the mastery quote-unquote is when you're able to navigate it.
297
00:16:41,860.3456404 --> 00:16:43,540.3456404
Unaware like completely.
298
00:16:44,950.3456404 --> 00:16:50,500.3456404
Naturally subconsciously organically there isn't efforting to achieve that outcome.
299
00:16:51,40.3456404 --> 00:16:51,580.3456404
And.
300
00:16:52,420.3456404 --> 00:16:56,20.3456404
I feel like at this point I can fluctuate between.
301
00:16:57,610.3456404 --> 00:16:59,860.3456404
Uh, in some areas of life.
302
00:17:00,280.3456404 --> 00:17:06,40.3456404
The aware unskilled and then in others, the aware.
303
00:17:06,550.3456404 --> 00:17:07,270.3456404
Skilled.
304
00:17:07,930.3456404 --> 00:17:09,520.3456404
And it's exhausting.
305
00:17:11,740.3456404 --> 00:17:13,510.3456404
To have that level of engagement.
306
00:17:13,810.3456404 --> 00:17:14,680.3456404
Uh, throughout my day.
307
00:17:15,220.3456404 --> 00:17:15,820.3456404
Sometimes.
308
00:17:15,940.3456404 --> 00:17:17,200.3456404
So anyway.
309
00:17:18,70.3456404 --> 00:17:19,360.3456404
I just wanted to bring that here.
310
00:17:19,510.3456404 --> 00:17:20,560.3456404
I feel like.
311
00:17:22,540.3456404 --> 00:17:23,230.3456404
There is.
312
00:17:23,230.3456404 --> 00:17:31,540.3456404
So, I mean, part of it is my feed, right? Everyone's algorithm is so different and what I'm being shown all the time.
313
00:17:31,570.3456404 --> 00:17:33,40.3456404
It's like all of these.
314
00:17:33,700.3456404 --> 00:17:34,930.3456404
Well, meaning.
315
00:17:35,320.3456404 --> 00:17:39,10.3456404
Uh, creators and you know, myself not, not excluded.
316
00:17:39,400.3456404 --> 00:17:42,940.3456404
Wanting to share what they believe to be.
317
00:17:43,540.3456404 --> 00:17:46,810.3456404
Um, Something that is expansive and helpful.
318
00:17:47,230.3456404 --> 00:17:49,300.3456404
And beautiful in the world.
319
00:17:50,80.3456404 --> 00:17:56,230.3456404
And when you're inundated with that from so many areas, so many angles, it's like.
320
00:17:59,380.3456404 --> 00:18:03,280.3456404
There's always something I can be doing better and everything that comes out of my mouth, I'm noticing.
321
00:18:03,730.3456404 --> 00:18:08,170.3456404
Oh, that wasn't quite the right way to say that to my kid or, oh, um, wow.
322
00:18:08,170.3456404 --> 00:18:11,440.3456404
There's some negative self-talk I need to be softer with myself.
323
00:18:11,500.3456404 --> 00:18:15,190.3456404
Well, I'm just tired.
324
00:18:15,370.3456404 --> 00:18:16,330.3456404
I'm tired.
325
00:18:17,140.3456404 --> 00:18:18,100.3456404
I'm grateful.
326
00:18:18,130.3456404 --> 00:18:19,270.3456404
I'm grateful for the awareness.
327
00:18:19,270.3456404 --> 00:18:21,850.3456404
I'm grateful for the shift in consciousness for.
328
00:18:22,480.3456404 --> 00:18:26,50.3456404
The world that I feel like it's happening, but I'm also.
329
00:18:27,520.3456404 --> 00:18:28,480.3456404
It's a lot.
330
00:18:28,960.3456404 --> 00:18:31,510.3456404
I want to acknowledge that if you're feeling tired too.
331
00:18:32,110.3456404 --> 00:18:36,940.3456404
If you're just like, I need a break.
332
00:18:37,330.3456404 --> 00:18:38,830.3456404
I feel like I need a break.
333
00:18:38,860.3456404 --> 00:18:40,270.3456404
I need a break from.
334
00:18:41,950.3456404 --> 00:18:42,970.3456404
Consuming.
335
00:18:44,530.3456404 --> 00:18:45,280.3456404
I just want.
336
00:18:46,990.3456404 --> 00:18:50,950.3456404
Real actual human connection and creation.
337
00:18:50,980.3456404 --> 00:18:51,580.3456404
And.
338
00:18:55,210.3456404 --> 00:18:55,450.3456404
Yeah.
339
00:18:57,970.3456404 --> 00:18:58,840.3456404
It's just hard.
340
00:18:58,990.3456404 --> 00:18:59,770.3456404
It is hard.
341
00:19:01,210.3456404 --> 00:19:04,60.3456404
It doesn't have to be hard, but sometimes it just is.
342
00:19:05,260.3456404 --> 00:19:05,800.3456404
Okay.
343
00:19:05,860.3456404 --> 00:19:06,490.3456404
So.
344
00:19:07,90.3456404 --> 00:19:09,610.3456404
Going back to the actual book I was reading.
345
00:19:11,560.3456404 --> 00:19:12,220.3456404
This morning.
346
00:19:12,250.3456404 --> 00:19:15,850.3456404
I wanted to read a couple of excerpts from it, just because.
347
00:19:15,850.3456404 --> 00:19:17,320.3456404
So beautiful.
348
00:19:18,10.3456404 --> 00:19:22,540.3456404
Within the pages of this book, I'm able to find so much.
349
00:19:23,50.3456404 --> 00:19:23,650.3456404
About.
350
00:19:23,650.3456404 --> 00:19:25,240.3456404
Why I do what I do.
351
00:19:25,450.3456404 --> 00:19:26,80.3456404
What is.
352
00:19:26,80.3456404 --> 00:19:27,220.3456404
Perplexing me.
353
00:19:27,670.3456404 --> 00:19:33,310.3456404
What is so clear to me, what is so mysterious to me and I don't fucking understand.
354
00:19:33,850.3456404 --> 00:19:41,230.3456404
Um, This part is why I created a conscious creator.
355
00:19:41,380.3456404 --> 00:19:42,310.3456404
This is what I believe.
356
00:19:43,0.3456404 --> 00:19:48,400.3456404
It says, um, And yet the beautiful persists and so do eloquence and depth of thought.
357
00:19:48,700.3456404 --> 00:19:53,370.3456404
And they belong to all of us because they are the most pregnant, Evidence.
358
00:19:53,730.3456404 --> 00:19:55,800.3456404
We can have of what is possible in us.
359
00:19:56,280.3456404 --> 00:19:58,50.3456404
That last sentence is everything.
360
00:19:58,140.3456404 --> 00:20:00,210.3456404
Our responsibilities to each other.
361
00:20:00,600.3456404 --> 00:20:02,430.3456404
If they're to mean much at all.
362
00:20:02,790.3456404 --> 00:20:06,330.3456404
Must encompass a commitment to the persistence of the beautiful.
363
00:20:07,410.3456404 --> 00:20:13,140.3456404
As bow observes, people seem to have entirely forgotten culture that matters for its own sake.
364
00:20:13,530.3456404 --> 00:20:17,160.3456404
Knowledge and beauty pleasure and delight the contemplation of truth.
365
00:20:17,610.3456404 --> 00:20:19,940.3456404
Irrespective of its Instrumental uses.
366
00:20:20,360.3456404 --> 00:20:26,390.3456404
The intimate encounter with another human consciousness offered by the best works of art.
367
00:20:26,990.3456404 --> 00:20:30,290.3456404
These are among the things that make life worth living.
368
00:20:30,680.3456404 --> 00:20:40,370.3456404
If we set them aside until we have made it safely through our present emergency, we will never return to them because our present emergency will never be through.
369
00:20:41,960.3456404 --> 00:20:42,290.3456404
Amen.
370
00:20:44,120.3456404 --> 00:20:46,880.3456404
That's why every single week.
371
00:20:47,930.3456404 --> 00:20:51,500.3456404
I am grateful to log into.
372
00:20:52,400.3456404 --> 00:20:55,730.3456404
Work to conscious, greater to just be.
373
00:20:56,390.3456404 --> 00:20:59,270.3456404
In like super intimate community.
374
00:20:59,750.3456404 --> 00:21:00,350.3456404
In.
375
00:21:01,220.3456404 --> 00:21:05,720.3456404
Knowing that I'm going to prioritize space for myself and also connection to others.
376
00:21:05,720.3456404 --> 00:21:07,460.3456404
And talk about just what's on.
377
00:21:08,0.3456404 --> 00:21:08,600.3456404
What's on top.
378
00:21:09,320.3456404 --> 00:21:16,850.3456404
Okay, what else do I have here? Um, There's one more that I really wanted to read.
379
00:21:20,60.3456404 --> 00:21:21,380.3456404
Oh, this.
380
00:21:22,430.3456404 --> 00:21:24,440.3456404
This is so cool.
381
00:21:24,470.3456404 --> 00:21:24,710.3456404
Okay.
382
00:21:24,710.3456404 --> 00:21:25,430.3456404
Listen to the best.
383
00:21:26,840.3456404 --> 00:21:27,470.3456404
The past.
384
00:21:28,10.3456404 --> 00:21:32,840.3456404
Obviously it's in the context of the past that the word forgetting has its everyday currency.
385
00:21:33,200.3456404 --> 00:21:37,10.3456404
Each of us has forgotten almost every last bit of our direct experience.
386
00:21:37,310.3456404 --> 00:21:42,140.3456404
So little of what we've done and seen and read and heard remains available to us.
387
00:21:42,710.3456404 --> 00:21:51,140.3456404
Most often, this is thought of negatively as in an inconvenience or a failing as laziness or a sign of diminishing capabilities.
388
00:21:51,650.3456404 --> 00:21:53,840.3456404
And it can be all of those things for sure.
389
00:21:54,320.3456404 --> 00:21:57,950.3456404
But forgetting also has a distinctively positive effect.
390
00:21:58,490.3456404 --> 00:22:00,440.3456404
The involuntary eraser.
391
00:22:00,890.3456404 --> 00:22:05,390.3456404
Of specifics is what shapes us over time as specific individuals.
392
00:22:06,770.3456404 --> 00:22:07,370.3456404
Better yet.
393
00:22:07,640.3456404 --> 00:22:12,740.3456404
The continuous and willed winnowing of experience is the reason we have art.
394
00:22:13,100.3456404 --> 00:22:15,110.3456404
Or imagination in the first place.
395
00:22:16,700.3456404 --> 00:22:17,600.3456404
In another.
396
00:22:17,600.3456404 --> 00:22:19,790.3456404
Aside here by Lewis Hyde.
397
00:22:19,820.3456404 --> 00:22:20,300.3456404
It says.
398
00:22:21,650.3456404 --> 00:22:25,130.3456404
There are then two ways for memory to destroy imagination.
399
00:22:25,880.3456404 --> 00:22:36,470.3456404
By retaining too many abstractions, thus failing to perceive fresh detail and by retaining too many details, thus failing to perceive abstractions.
400
00:22:36,890.3456404 --> 00:22:43,850.3456404
The point is worth repeating because two beneficial categories of forgetting recur throughout these notebooks.
401
00:22:44,570.3456404 --> 00:22:45,200.3456404
In one.
402
00:22:45,590.3456404 --> 00:22:51,590.3456404
Uh, mine has become too attached to its concepts or thought habits and needs to drop them.
403
00:22:51,800.3456404 --> 00:22:54,560.3456404
So as to attend again to detail.
404
00:22:55,70.3456404 --> 00:22:55,820.3456404
In another.
405
00:22:56,600.3456404 --> 00:23:01,600.3456404
A surfeit of detail clogs the flow of thought and must be winnowed.
406
00:23:01,870.3456404 --> 00:23:05,380.3456404
So as to see the larger shapes of concept and obstruction.
407
00:23:06,130.3456404 --> 00:23:10,0.3456404
Let us reclaim, forgetting as a component of truth.
408
00:23:10,690.3456404 --> 00:23:20,50.3456404
Let us say that the self is reborn with every breath we take, that it is constantly dropping away and coming into being as conditioned to alter.
409
00:23:22,150.3456404 --> 00:23:22,870.3456404
Let us.
410
00:23:23,170.3456404 --> 00:23:27,190.3456404
Reclaim forgetting as a component of truth.
411
00:23:30,800.3456404 --> 00:23:34,790.3456404
Did anybody else? I have.
412
00:23:35,840.3456404 --> 00:23:36,680.3456404
Uh, deep.
413
00:23:37,730.3456404 --> 00:23:39,260.3456404
Comforting feeling with that.
414
00:23:39,740.3456404 --> 00:23:43,730.3456404
Like, oh, I can be okay with a form of forgetting.
415
00:23:44,360.3456404 --> 00:23:45,950.3456404
And it makes so much sense.
416
00:23:47,120.3456404 --> 00:23:48,170.3456404
It makes so much sense.
417
00:23:48,170.3456404 --> 00:23:48,920.3456404
And this is why.
418
00:23:50,120.3456404 --> 00:23:52,190.3456404
Uh, one of the things I'm so passionate about is that.
419
00:23:53,0.3456404 --> 00:23:58,400.3456404
Um, To pull the photograph, the photographic medium.
420
00:23:58,730.3456404 --> 00:23:59,960.3456404
Away from.
421
00:24:01,70.3456404 --> 00:24:02,600.3456404
The overcrowded.
422
00:24:02,990.3456404 --> 00:24:03,590.3456404
I don't know.
423
00:24:04,280.3456404 --> 00:24:05,420.3456404
It sounds so intense.
424
00:24:05,420.3456404 --> 00:24:12,80.3456404
Like, I don't want, I'm not trying to take a stance here, but like, I feel like.
425
00:24:13,160.3456404 --> 00:24:15,500.3456404
Photographs had been washed.
426
00:24:16,40.3456404 --> 00:24:18,440.3456404
So hard with this.
427
00:24:18,980.3456404 --> 00:24:20,930.3456404
Idea that photographs are so we don't forget.
428
00:24:20,930.3456404 --> 00:24:21,590.3456404
So we don't forget.
429
00:24:21,590.3456404 --> 00:24:22,280.3456404
So we don't forget.
430
00:24:22,280.3456404 --> 00:24:22,940.3456404
So we don't forget.
431
00:24:23,270.3456404 --> 00:24:24,380.3456404
It's like, whoa.
432
00:24:26,600.3456404 --> 00:24:28,550.3456404
Photographs or so we can see.
433
00:24:29,270.3456404 --> 00:24:29,720.3456404
Now.
434
00:24:30,950.3456404 --> 00:24:32,960.3456404
So we can see it more now.
435
00:24:34,610.3456404 --> 00:24:37,460.3456404
The not forgetting is a beautiful.
436
00:24:38,570.3456404 --> 00:24:39,260.3456404
Idea.
437
00:24:39,500.3456404 --> 00:24:41,180.3456404
It's a beautiful byproduct.
438
00:24:41,510.3456404 --> 00:24:43,820.3456404
It's not always accurate.
439
00:24:44,180.3456404 --> 00:24:45,650.3456404
Even if you do have a photograph.
440
00:24:47,60.3456404 --> 00:24:49,400.3456404
It's not a sure-fire way.
441
00:24:50,60.3456404 --> 00:24:50,960.3456404
Of remembering.
442
00:24:54,500.3456404 --> 00:24:58,700.3456404
But to not only, and this is what excited me so much is that.
443
00:24:59,30.3456404 --> 00:25:00,50.3456404
To not only.
444
00:25:00,50.3456404 --> 00:25:03,470.3456404
Stop using forgetting as something negative.
445
00:25:03,890.3456404 --> 00:25:04,400.3456404
This is bad.
446
00:25:04,400.3456404 --> 00:25:04,970.3456404
This is bad.
447
00:25:05,390.3456404 --> 00:25:08,600.3456404
But to then go on to classify it as.
448
00:25:11,410.3456404 --> 00:25:16,390.3456404
A component of truth, like think about what is it to forget.
449
00:25:19,180.3456404 --> 00:25:26,140.3456404
Like, what is it to forget? I get helps us.
450
00:25:28,0.3456404 --> 00:25:29,20.3456404
Make space.
451
00:25:31,90.3456404 --> 00:25:32,410.3456404
For other things.
452
00:25:33,100.3456404 --> 00:25:34,600.3456404
That we want to remember more.
453
00:25:35,230.3456404 --> 00:25:35,770.3456404
I don't know.
454
00:25:40,900.3456404 --> 00:25:42,700.3456404
It's it's almost like a.
455
00:25:43,360.3456404 --> 00:25:46,270.3456404
Subconscious form of choosing.
456
00:25:48,220.3456404 --> 00:25:48,640.3456404
I don't know.
457
00:25:51,100.3456404 --> 00:25:52,780.3456404
But I love thinking about it.
458
00:25:54,900.3456404 --> 00:25:56,40.3456404
You know, I was.
459
00:25:56,40.3456404 --> 00:25:57,750.3456404
Having a moment, the other day in the car.
460
00:25:58,200.3456404 --> 00:25:59,280.3456404
Where I just felt.
461
00:26:00,270.3456404 --> 00:26:00,720.3456404
Like I had.
462
00:26:01,380.3456404 --> 00:26:03,330.3456404
I was on Instagram too much that day.
463
00:26:03,420.3456404 --> 00:26:13,830.3456404
And I'd seen some beautiful you to full photographs of, um, You know, some, a couple photographers and their own.
464
00:26:14,310.3456404 --> 00:26:14,790.3456404
Kids.
465
00:26:14,850.3456404 --> 00:26:20,640.3456404
And I just have this wash of like guilt and shame and I'm like, I don't photograph.
466
00:26:21,360.3456404 --> 00:26:22,530.3456404
My own family enough.
467
00:26:22,560.3456404 --> 00:26:24,0.3456404
I don't photograph them enough.
468
00:26:24,480.3456404 --> 00:26:24,960.3456404
I take.
469
00:26:25,680.3456404 --> 00:26:27,960.3456404
Cell phone photos of every single day, but I don't.
470
00:26:28,770.3456404 --> 00:26:30,450.3456404
Photograph them enough.
471
00:26:31,440.3456404 --> 00:26:32,670.3456404
And I'm like, hold on a second.
472
00:26:34,430.3456404 --> 00:26:48,350.3456404
Is that true? Is that really true? Why am I wanting to photograph them more? Is it because I have intimate access to them and I want to be.
473
00:26:48,350.3456404 --> 00:26:49,400.3456404
Exercising that.
474
00:26:51,230.3456404 --> 00:26:55,550.3456404
Is it because I don't feel like I'm going to.
475
00:26:55,550.3456404 --> 00:26:56,660.3456404
Be able to.
476
00:26:57,680.3456404 --> 00:26:58,700.3456404
Remember.
477
00:26:59,300.3456404 --> 00:27:00,770.3456404
As vividly.
478
00:27:01,610.3456404 --> 00:27:02,360.3456404
Don't forget.
479
00:27:03,200.3456404 --> 00:27:04,190.3456404
I'm like what I just talked about.
480
00:27:06,230.3456404 --> 00:27:06,980.3456404
Or.
481
00:27:08,870.3456404 --> 00:27:09,290.3456404
Is it.
482
00:27:09,620.3456404 --> 00:27:11,60.3456404
A question of.
483
00:27:12,760.3456404 --> 00:27:14,50.3456404
I'm scared.
484
00:27:14,50.3456404 --> 00:27:16,420.3456404
I am not seeing them as deeply.
485
00:27:16,810.3456404 --> 00:27:17,290.3456404
Now.
486
00:27:20,450.3456404 --> 00:27:22,640.3456404
And then when I got to the now part.
487
00:27:22,820.3456404 --> 00:27:24,110.3456404
Like, that's not true.
488
00:27:25,670.3456404 --> 00:27:26,780.3456404
I know I am.
489
00:27:28,430.3456404 --> 00:27:28,880.3456404
Aye.
490
00:27:29,180.3456404 --> 00:27:29,690.3456404
Aye.
491
00:27:30,20.3456404 --> 00:27:31,310.3456404
In that moment, have those.
492
00:27:32,240.3456404 --> 00:27:36,80.3456404
Recollections of all the times, just in the past couple of days where.
493
00:27:37,400.3456404 --> 00:27:41,0.3456404
I'll be in a moment looking at my kids or my family and see something.
494
00:27:41,0.3456404 --> 00:27:41,480.3456404
And I just.
495
00:27:41,960.3456404 --> 00:27:43,820.3456404
It's almost like sound goes away.
496
00:27:44,30.3456404 --> 00:27:50,930.3456404
Uh, that's something, this is something that I talk about in my first ever course that I created manifest your memories.
497
00:27:51,470.3456404 --> 00:27:51,890.3456404
And.
498
00:27:52,910.3456404 --> 00:27:54,410.3456404
This idea of.
499
00:27:55,940.3456404 --> 00:27:57,410.3456404
Heightening our senses.
500
00:27:57,650.3456404 --> 00:28:03,560.3456404
When if you like, hold your ears to see better close your eyes to hear better.
501
00:28:03,860.3456404 --> 00:28:08,660.3456404
And like what happens when you do both and you go inside yourself.
502
00:28:09,320.3456404 --> 00:28:13,970.3456404
Um, And this idea that we don't even have to take a picture too.
503
00:28:14,630.3456404 --> 00:28:17,600.3456404
Have that experience of like seeing deeper into a moment.
504
00:28:17,840.3456404 --> 00:28:21,230.3456404
The thing that the photograph helps us do taking the pictures helps us do.
505
00:28:21,950.3456404 --> 00:28:23,240.3456404
It's a choice.
506
00:28:23,240.3456404 --> 00:28:23,840.3456404
It's not.
507
00:28:25,790.3456404 --> 00:28:28,10.3456404
Um, a requirement or a burden.
508
00:28:29,270.3456404 --> 00:28:31,160.3456404
It's not supposed to be a burden, right.
509
00:28:33,950.3456404 --> 00:28:34,280.3456404
Is it.
510
00:28:34,790.3456404 --> 00:28:35,60.3456404
I don't know.
511
00:28:42,500.3456404 --> 00:28:44,90.3456404
It's really hard for me too.
512
00:28:44,900.3456404 --> 00:28:49,550.3456404
Say anything without having that thought of like, well, it could be for a person that could be someone's truth.
513
00:28:49,550.3456404 --> 00:28:50,600.3456404
That could be someone's truth.
514
00:28:51,770.3456404 --> 00:28:54,800.3456404
But I can only speak to mine and mine.
515
00:28:55,310.3456404 --> 00:28:55,940.3456404
Is that.
516
00:29:01,880.3456404 --> 00:29:03,530.3456404
I know it's really healthy, too.
517
00:29:03,860.3456404 --> 00:29:08,990.3456404
Question yourself and do that gut check and, you know, confirm that your.
518
00:29:09,500.3456404 --> 00:29:11,60.3456404
Kind of living life the way you want to live it.
519
00:29:12,170.3456404 --> 00:29:15,200.3456404
And being in your life the way you want to be in your life.
520
00:29:17,210.3456404 --> 00:29:22,280.3456404
But as I've reflected in the last couple of podcast episodes about being kind of exhausted.
521
00:29:22,730.3456404 --> 00:29:24,380.3456404
With all the intentionality.
522
00:29:25,860.3456404 --> 00:29:31,650.3456404
Is there a time and space where I have that feeling that pain of like guilt or shame.
523
00:29:31,680.3456404 --> 00:29:32,760.3456404
And I could just.
524
00:29:34,950.3456404 --> 00:29:37,50.3456404
Let go and trust myself and to know.
525
00:29:37,680.3456404 --> 00:29:38,160.3456404
That.
526
00:29:39,900.3456404 --> 00:29:40,890.3456404
When it's right.
527
00:29:40,950.3456404 --> 00:29:42,270.3456404
And when it's for.
528
00:29:43,620.3456404 --> 00:29:46,230.3456404
Me and the purity of the act.
529
00:29:47,100.3456404 --> 00:29:49,650.3456404
That actual camera gets picked up.
530
00:29:49,830.3456404 --> 00:29:52,20.3456404
Like those photographs get made in that way.
531
00:29:55,260.3456404 --> 00:29:57,720.3456404
And those cell phone photographs are no less.
532
00:29:58,950.3456404 --> 00:30:02,460.3456404
No less worthy than the photographs I would take.
533
00:30:03,210.3456404 --> 00:30:06,30.3456404
Uh, with my quote unquote real camera.
534
00:30:07,710.3456404 --> 00:30:15,810.3456404
Are you a photographer who feels like they don't photograph their family enough? Maybe you have the opposite problem.
535
00:30:15,810.3456404 --> 00:30:18,720.3456404
Maybe you feel like you photograph them all the time and.
536
00:30:19,350.3456404 --> 00:30:22,470.3456404
Maybe we should create some space around it or whatever.
537
00:30:25,890.3456404 --> 00:30:26,190.3456404
Hm.
538
00:30:27,690.3456404 --> 00:30:28,230.3456404
I don't know.
539
00:30:31,190.3456404 --> 00:30:34,130.3456404
I feel so lucky to have this space.
540
00:30:34,730.3456404 --> 00:30:38,480.3456404
That I come to and speak out loud.
541
00:30:38,480.3456404 --> 00:30:40,70.3456404
All of like the inner most.
542
00:30:40,700.3456404 --> 00:30:43,880.3456404
Nooks and crannies that run rampant in my brain.
543
00:30:44,540.3456404 --> 00:30:45,320.3456404
Because.
544
00:30:45,320.3456404 --> 00:30:48,290.3456404
Well, when I, I really believe it's so important.
545
00:30:48,740.3456404 --> 00:30:54,770.3456404
To have this level of transparency and honesty and, uh, I've personally been hurt.
546
00:30:55,250.3456404 --> 00:31:02,420.3456404
Uh, and suffered the consequence of not being privy to the truth of life experiences.
547
00:31:02,630.3456404 --> 00:31:03,470.3456404
Myself.
548
00:31:04,370.3456404 --> 00:31:12,710.3456404
In, uh, you know, so many times where I'm like, I just wish I would've known that this was possible, or I wish that I would've had some awareness or.
549
00:31:13,250.3456404 --> 00:31:15,950.3456404
I feel like I've been lied to by no one and everyone.
550
00:31:17,600.3456404 --> 00:31:23,270.3456404
So there's that element and there's also the element of, you know, inwardly for myself.
551
00:31:23,750.3456404 --> 00:31:27,440.3456404
If I didn't have this platform, if I didn't have this podcast that.
552
00:31:28,580.3456404 --> 00:31:34,190.3456404
Created the space for me to kind of get in with the weeds of this and like pick it apart and speak it out loud.
553
00:31:34,190.3456404 --> 00:31:34,340.3456404
And.
554
00:31:35,30.3456404 --> 00:31:36,470.3456404
You know, voice it and give it.
555
00:31:37,160.3456404 --> 00:31:37,970.3456404
The air.
556
00:31:38,660.3456404 --> 00:31:39,440.3456404
And it kind of.
557
00:31:40,400.3456404 --> 00:31:44,960.3456404
Makes it real and also lets the air out of at the same time, it helps me move with it.
558
00:31:45,440.3456404 --> 00:31:48,320.3456404
Um, in a lighter way, that kind of reminds me of.
559
00:31:48,830.3456404 --> 00:31:52,160.3456404
Uh, an NLP process where it's like a really heavy.
560
00:31:52,580.3456404 --> 00:32:01,580.3456404
Thing to talk about, and it can be ha feel heavy to be in that process where you're reflecting on a memory and being asked these really tough questions.
561
00:32:01,940.3456404 --> 00:32:07,370.3456404
But then afterwards there's such a freedom and expansive feeling that comes with it.
562
00:32:07,370.3456404 --> 00:32:08,510.3456404
And then you just walk.
563
00:32:08,870.3456404 --> 00:32:10,820.3456404
Through your life in this new way.
564
00:32:11,180.3456404 --> 00:32:14,180.3456404
And I feel like I'm able to do that every week.
565
00:32:14,780.3456404 --> 00:32:16,70.3456404
Uh, with.
566
00:32:16,820.3456404 --> 00:32:18,560.3456404
With the things that I ended up sharing.
567
00:32:18,560.3456404 --> 00:32:24,980.3456404
So I just, um, thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming to the space and.
568
00:32:27,380.3456404 --> 00:32:30,290.3456404
And listening to my truth and I'm.
569
00:32:31,640.3456404 --> 00:32:34,850.3456404
I really, really, really, really, truly hope that.
570
00:32:35,570.3456404 --> 00:32:36,830.3456404
It serves you.
571
00:32:37,710.3456404 --> 00:32:38,970.3456404
however you need it.
572
00:32:39,270.3456404 --> 00:32:43,500.3456404
However, even if it's just chuckling and being like, oh my God, this freak.
573
00:32:48,720.3456404 --> 00:32:50,250.3456404
I doubt it.
574
00:32:50,310.3456404 --> 00:32:52,470.3456404
I mean, cause if you're listening, you're a freak D.
575
00:32:55,560.3456404 --> 00:32:56,40.3456404
Okay.
576
00:32:56,490.3456404 --> 00:32:58,860.3456404
I think that signifies the end of this episode.
577
00:32:59,760.3456404 --> 00:33:02,970.3456404
Like now I'm like giggling with the person that's not here in front of me.
578
00:33:06,270.3456404 --> 00:33:06,780.3456404
Okay.
579
00:33:07,200.3456404 --> 00:33:07,770.3456404
Okay.
580
00:33:07,800.3456404 --> 00:33:09,240.3456404
So I.
581
00:33:09,970.3456404 --> 00:33:12,790.3456404
I am letting you know.
582
00:33:13,390.3456404 --> 00:33:19,0.3456404
That conscious creator is my monthly membership for.
583
00:33:20,380.3456404 --> 00:33:26,140.3456404
All forms of creatives, all forms of makers, all forms of artists to come together every week.
584
00:33:26,560.3456404 --> 00:33:28,600.3456404
Uh, the first hour is Ollie's.
585
00:33:29,320.3456404 --> 00:33:33,940.3456404
Coworking we sign on, we say, hello, what you doing? Okay, we're going on? Mute.
586
00:33:34,210.3456404 --> 00:33:36,250.3456404
Take our cameras off for the first hour.
587
00:33:36,730.3456404 --> 00:33:49,270.3456404
And we just work, whatever that is, whether it's closing your eyes for an hour, because you just need the space to stare at a wall or the inside of your eyelids or you're editing photos or you're writing whatever.
588
00:33:49,660.3456404 --> 00:33:51,640.3456404
And then that second hour we come off mute.
589
00:33:52,90.3456404 --> 00:33:53,50.3456404
And we talk about.
590
00:33:53,470.3456404 --> 00:33:59,230.3456404
What's up in life in art and what we just worked on in what we want to work on.
591
00:33:59,650.3456404 --> 00:34:03,250.3456404
And, um, yeah, and I, I absolutely love holding the space.
592
00:34:03,310.3456404 --> 00:34:09,220.3456404
I am a certified NLP practitioner, so I love introducing some quantum linguistic.
593
00:34:09,610.3456404 --> 00:34:11,170.3456404
Prompts and questions.
594
00:34:11,530.3456404 --> 00:34:15,640.3456404
And supports throughout, um, the conversation, if that is.
595
00:34:16,150.3456404 --> 00:34:17,110.3456404
Needed at all.
596
00:34:17,110.3456404 --> 00:34:19,570.3456404
And, um, yeah.
597
00:34:19,930.3456404 --> 00:34:23,170.3456404
Having these honest conversations with like-minded souls.
598
00:34:23,590.3456404 --> 00:34:26,200.3456404
Like hearted souls, we have different minds, but.
599
00:34:27,220.3456404 --> 00:34:28,360.3456404
I find that our hearts.
600
00:34:28,810.3456404 --> 00:34:30,220.3456404
Are the things that are most connected.
601
00:34:30,400.3456404 --> 00:34:30,610.3456404
So.
602
00:34:32,260.3456404 --> 00:34:34,150.3456404
Any who there she blows.
603
00:34:34,180.3456404 --> 00:34:40,750.3456404
If, um, you think of anyone that this would serve, feel free to forward them.
604
00:34:40,870.3456404 --> 00:34:43,480.3456404
Um, this podcast episode, when you share the.
605
00:34:44,20.3456404 --> 00:34:46,450.3456404
The podcast, more people like you can find it.
606
00:34:46,450.3456404 --> 00:34:51,460.3456404
So I deeply appreciate it and I will catch you next week.
607
00:34:52,723.3388377 --> 00:34:55,943.3388377
This has been an Awkward Sage Production.
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