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Oct. 4, 2024
An Urgency to Live, Now via Photo Journaling
“if one reaches the point where understanding fails,
this is not a tragedy.
It is simply a reminder to stop thinking and start looking.
Perhaps there is nothing to figure out after all.
Perhaps we only need to wake up.”
-Thomas Merton
Perhaps it’s just a sliver.
a nuanced change.
from looking to seeing.
Let yourself see beyond your eyes.
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This episode is our monthly exploration into personal photographic journaling.
Transcript
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And it says if one reaches the point where understanding fails.
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This is not a tragedy.
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It is simply a reminder to stop thinking and start looking.
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Perhaps there is nothing to figure out after all.
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Perhaps we only need to wake up.
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Perhaps we.
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Just need to make that sliver of a nuance change of instead of looking at something.
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Letting yourself.
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See it.
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Look at the pictures that you put on your template, if you didn't do the template, Scroll through your phone right now.
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And let yourself stop.
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At an image that makes you want to stop.
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Exercise that muscle.
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Of listening to your instinct and listening to your impulse.
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And then when you look at that photo, Allow yourself to see.
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Beyond it to see deeper to go through it.
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To me like, okay, if I can get past, this is a picture of me and stop like critiquing, um, I don't like the angle.
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That's not very flattering on.
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And you go deeper into it.
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What.
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Is this picture telling you.
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What is this picture telling you about the experience of it being shot? What is this picture telling you about? The person who took it.
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The relationship there, that exact moment.
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What happened with the light? What happened with the composition? Just let yourself swirl.
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We swirl over the most horrific shit.
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The rest of the day, can you let yourself swirl? Into something meaningful.
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And can be profoundly helpful and enriching in your life.
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Swirl around the pictures you're taking.
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Let yourself swirl around yourself.
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It's okay to give yourself that much attention.
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And regard.
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And time and.
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Help Me See is a podcast dedicated to the art of seeing.
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It's a space for the restless visionary with an insatiable desire to create the life and work you're meant for.
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My name is Bianca Lea Mora, and I'm a photographic artist, a mother, and a coach who's transformed my fear of loss into power, art, and philosophy.
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One of the scariest quotes I never want to say is, I wish I knew at the time, but I truly believe that we have the innate ability to bring our wise 2020 hindsight to our now.
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You can deeply experience your nostalgia now, while it's actually happening, with no regrets.
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All you have to do is see.
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In this show, we laugh, we cry, we get inspired, we overshare, we have life changing conversations around making meaning, self discovery, and shedding all the BS layers in order to reconnect to our own sacred vision.
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Seeing yourself is an essential key to living powerfully.
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You are the vessel, the lens that filters absolutely everything in your life.
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What are you filtering for? Whether it be conversations with fellow artists and visionaries, or my solo audio journal style introspective ramblings, each episode is meant to feel like an exhale, an unraveling of truth, a moment for you to be able to put your finger on something that you haven't been able to for far too long.
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Come exactly as you are.
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It's perfect.
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Honor your instincts.
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Let's uncover some of the most important things in our lives which all too often can slip out from our view.
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Let's commit to seeing and consciously creating what only you can in your one and only life.
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Let's dive in.
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Hello and welcome to Nostalgia Now.
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This month I'm doing something different.
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So in the past, when this Nostalgia Now was a membership with a live component, we would get together once a month and the first hour be co working.
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We'd all have our templates up, do our, um, templates together on mute with the micro with the cameras off, and then we would come together and do a show and tell and talk about the experience and what we learned and share whatever we felt like sharing and our discoveries and our breakthroughs.
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And, I got the nudge to make this month just like that.
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So this recording is going to have a pause that allows you to do your own template.
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It allows you to press pause and then put on the music.
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I almost played music for you and let there be an extra hour of space.
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But then I was like, maybe they're not into my melancholic music.
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Um, so.
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I encourage you to press pause, put on your own music, have your yummy drink, get a blanket on you, do whatever you want to do to make this a sacred space for you to reflect on the last month.
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So this is for the month of September.
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And, um, this month I actually did something new where I used film stills.
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I was watching a, an old YouTube video of a documentary on Anais and I.
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Was so inspired by the footage of her.
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So I took some screenshots and added it there.
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The credit, uh, of the documentary and the director is at the end of the template.
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And, yeah, let me just go through this for you before we start, this particular month is dedicated to the passing of a peer of mine that was in a photography group that I'm also in called Memory Cult.
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And her name is E.
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J.
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Hassan.
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And I watched her celebration of life and was so, I mean, I would just bawled for two hours straight.
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I didn't even know her on a personal level, um, just pleasantries and just knew of her and of her insanely gorgeous work.
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Getting upset just talking about it.
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Um, she was a beautiful soul and There were so many comments, um, from her loved ones who were giving speeches about her and her life that just gripped me and I left that celebration thinking, I want to be more like EJ.
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I want to live my life more like EJ.
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And, um, one of the quotes that struck me the most, um, Was when one of her close friends said, when you think of like being in the moment, she was the moment.
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She was like referring to her warmth and her ability to be so present and be there with you.
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Not anywhere else, but in that moment and that inspired me so much.
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So, um, you know, as I've been talking with a few friends, I have shared that I just feel such urgency and To live for myself and also for her, um, but what, what gave me such comfort about hearing more about her personal life through her loved ones was this knowing that that was a life she lived, she, she lived, she did what made her happy.
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She went back to school for photography later in life.
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She taught, she wasn't warmth and sunshine personified.
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Um, and.
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I'm just so, I feel so honored and grateful for the opportunity to deepen into that and to take notes from her and to look at her work and to live and take pictures for her as well.
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And and through that inspiration.
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Um, it's a live link.
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If you're, if you're wanting to learn more about this magical soul, um, the founder of memory coat, Anastasia, she of course created the most beautiful tribute to her.
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And if you want to read some of EJ's words and watch a tribute video, um, you can click on the link, um, that says this month is dedicated to Okay, so this urgency to live, this urgency to live feels like an urgency to do what I already know how to do, to be what I already am, but fully expressed.
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We're talking about self actualization.
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And I was recently, I said that my biggest fear.
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you know, outside of really horrible things like death and, you know, loss and fears that most people have, parents have, is Not knowing that I have an option, not seeing a possibility of something that would have helped me feel more alive in my life and, live deeper.
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Um, it's not the regret of, Oh, I didn't.
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I, I, I didn't choose to do that.
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I'm not afraid of making a wrong choice.
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I'm afraid of not having my eyes open to the most alive version of myself, whatever that is.
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And that is what every month that is what these templates are about.
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There are my way of guiding myself back to myself because I'm so emotional this month, because We have so many well meaning, innocent, uh, unavoidable filters that have been put onto us over our lifetimes.
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And our truth comes across like it cannot be held back.
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There are, it can be suppressed, but it cannot be held back in the moments that matter most when you burst out crying or like in these waves that all of a sudden I just get tears on in my face.
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It feels like my face is welling up.
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Um, it's that's, that's truth.
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When you have these, uh, Quote, unquote, irrational, overemotional.
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No, those moments are when you are alive.
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And those are the sacred moments where we should be taking notes and be like, Oh, okay, more of this.
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This is the field notes for living our life and our photography practice, whether you're a professional or not, I don't give a shit.
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Is.
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The moments where you're subconscious, it's not even, oftentimes it's not premeditated and like, Oh, I have to get a picture of this.
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It's just this impulse that happens and connecting you with that instinct and like having you refer back to those kernels of wisdom that you're trying to tell yourself, helping you become more familiar with your own personal visual language is my biggest goal.
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Because.
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There is a knowing there that when you are connected to yourself in that way, you will unavoidably elegantly, effortlessly live more accordance to that because you cannot unsee what you see.
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It's like a rubber band that gets stretched out.
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It doesn't go back to its same form.
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So.
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Revel in the fact that you are about to bring your most intimate inner wisdom and hindsight to right now, while you still have the ability to live it.
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This ritual will inevitably leave you with a vital breadcrumb for living a deeply intentional life.
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I am going to let you go through the prompts on your own.
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I'm not going to read them to you.
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My only encouragement here, my invitation for you, Would be to not try to make sense of yourself to yourself.
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And that is one of my biggest struggles in life.
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That's why I lean so hard on my photographs, because otherwise I'm just really trying to use my monkey brain to figure myself out.
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And let me tell you, it's much harder and also not fruitful.
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So.
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When you read these prompts and you go scrolling through your camera scroll for the pictures that you took in the last month, like whether this is your iCloud, uh, your Google photos, just the last month, the month of September only.
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So we're eliminating the overwhelm of like, Oh my gosh, all the pictures I've ever taken.
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No, just the last month of your life.
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That is like the freshest, um, batch of information from your subconscious to yourself, um, from your heart to yourself, to your life.
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Read these prompts and if an image pops out at you.
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Don't try to qualify it.
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Don't try to be like, well, I'm like, that doesn't seem like that doesn't track.
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Let yourself go with your instinct.
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This is an exercise in trusting your instinct in really becoming in tune with your impulses and going with that and let yourself see that on the page and move from that.
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Don't let your brain try to overtake your heart, your soul, your sacral gut for once.
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Let your brain take a back seat.
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Don't over intellectualize this, just be in the experience and let whatever comes up, comes up, sit with it, meditate on it.
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Um, sometimes, honestly, for me, when I'm doing this, I need to be listening to instrumental music because listening to someone else's words distracts me.
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Uh, and it's hard for me to focus on tuning into myself.
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So, um, if that's a pointer for you, I welcome you to do that.
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Check out some instrumental Spotify playlists.
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Um, yeah.
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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So I'm actually going to pause here and do my template myself, put on my music, get in it, and then I will come back and share what I have discovered through completing the template.
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I will see you then.
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hope you had a really fulfilling experience with your template, with your reflection of the last month of your life.
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What did you uncover? What? Did you realize that you knew all along? One of the pictures that I used was a picture I took of my son in the pool at this, uh, vacation we just went on.
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And it struck me because it reminded me of What I consider to be a self portrait of myself, which are film stills that I took Of a home video of me when I was a baby and So next to this picture, I think I see me Oftentimes I think we take pictures and We don't realize why we're so taken By them until later.
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Um, in this case, it's been a few days since I took this picture and now I look at it and I think, oh yeah, it's because it's me.
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I see me in my son.
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And it's really interesting to see yourself in your children because we give our love to our children so freely.
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And we're stingy as fuck giving ourselves love.
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We can, we can be very withholding.
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We can withhold love, affection, acceptance from ourselves.
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And, um, when you look at a picture of your child and see you and have that much love for your child, it's an invitation to extend that.
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To yourself, it's an invitation to extend that to the, so the person that came before this little person that you love so much.
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Okay.
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What did I uncover? So two of the pictures that I chose for this month, so there are four pictures altogether.
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Two of the pictures are actually photographs I snapped of a book I was looking at when I was at, um, the, a museum.
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And.
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Um, the first one is what jumped at, jumped out at me when I think about bliss, like, I got that exhale that came to be after reading this quote and the quote is, the full quote is, when you learn to trust yourself implicitly, you no longer need to prove something through your art, you simply allow it to come out.
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To be as it is, this is when creating art becomes effortless.
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It happens just as you grow your hair.
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It grows.
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And that's by John, forgive me, I'm going to mispronounce this.
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John Dido Laurie? Um, I took these pictures, uh, these two pictures of these pages of this book that I have yet to order.
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So I'm looking forward to reading this book.
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I believe it's called the mindful photographer.
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I think this is pure bliss to me because I think about how this is so effortless.
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When I have a camera to my face on the rest of my life, this is effort to It's really hard to embody this in a lot of other areas.
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And I think this is the phase and this is the season of life that I'm in is this onboarding, this merging of the world and the person I am in the world I'm in when I have a camera to my face and, and what happens when I'm, when I don't, uh, Something that I don't understand, but cannot deny, ironically, is this quote that is what I base all the work I do on.
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And yet, I still, this is why, you know, we teach what we need to learn.
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This is why I still tango with this bitch.
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If one reaches the point where understanding fails, this is not a tragedy.
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It is simply a reminder to stop thinking and start looking.
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Perhaps there is nothing to figure out after all.
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Perhaps we only need to wake up.
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And that is by Thomas.
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Morton, Martin, sorry.
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It's really, really small on the screen.
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Um, it's why we're doing this.
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It's why we're here right now, looking at our images and making meaning of them.
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We already saw these pictures that we're looking at.
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You already saw every picture you've taken.
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And there's so much wisdom in every single one of them.
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So much to glean.
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So much to perceive And it's like on the tip of your nose It's right there Tattooed and yet this practice this ritual of going back and looking and reflecting and connecting those dots Is Crucial to staying awake in our life Another picture I used is one of the pictures from when I stopped when I was driving from Carmel to San Francisco and it was sunset and the sun was rapidly changing and I was so tired and I just wanted to get home but I stopped like 4 or 5 times because the sun kept changing changing and the sky kept changing in this beautiful nuanced way and I had to stop.
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I had to pull over.
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And I think this is life.
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It's like you already have the momentum.
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You don't want to break that momentum.
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It already took enough energy, mental bandwidth, emotional bandwidth, To keep all the parts moving.
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Took so much effort to get to where we're at.
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But sometimes, stopping is the most important thing we could be doing.
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Stopping could stop you from going a million miles in the wrong direction.
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I am.
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The final image is a picture that was taken of me speaking, unbeknownst to me, at a candid photo, when I was at, um, uh, an Alex Soth workshop, um, at his home.
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And it was taken by one of my peers and, um, classmates, Arash.
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And, um, thank you, iresh.
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I look at that picture and when I think about if tomorrow didn't exist, what would I do today? And of course, it depends on the day and the energy, emotions of the day.
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But when I think about this, I think about living deeper and more fully into my life.
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And I think about expressing more and I think about being more prolific.
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I think about Letting myself get in those moments where I'm not aware, I was not aware that he was taking a photo because I was so deeply involved in whatever the fuck I was saying with my hands, of course, my eyes half open.
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When I look at this picture, I remember that I do have these moments of complete, full embodiment.
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Um, Um, that feel not like rare moments of life, but like the moments on steroids, like, Ooh, like that rev of the engine.
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And I want more of that.
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So those are the pictures they're done.
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And when I reflect on the journal questions.
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Uh, here's what I wrote.
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If I let myself, except my full power, I would move with strength and ease versus trepidation.
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I would be more bold about fulfilling my own needs.
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I wouldn't shy away or downplay my joy.
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It's okay.
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To be happy.
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It's okay.
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To show joy.
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It's okay.
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To let down my guard.
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It's okay to own myself.
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It's okay to sing.
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It's okay.
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To follow lightness without betraying or abandoning the alternative.
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If it all ended abruptly.
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I'm so fucking glad I owned my time.
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I'm glad I woke up and continue to wake up again and again, and again.
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Remember, forget, remember, forget not a problem, but the point.
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I'm so glad I didn't let fear hold me back from taking risks.
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Nothing is really a risk afterall.
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All all a facade.
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The biggest risk I could take is ignoring my desires for my one and only life.
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I wish I could have explored more.
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I wish I could have.
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Been more diligent in optimizing my energy.
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I wish I would have published, perform, spoke more.
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Deeper fuller more.
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I wish I would have found ways to enjoy play with my kids.
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I wish I would have relaxed and found more fun, found my version of fun.
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I am the moment when I don't let inconvenience, stop me from pulling over five times because the sun going down on the coast is too much to offer and it's breathtaking, nuanced change.
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I am the moment when I honor what is instead of pushing to orchestrate a sure thing.
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I am the moment when I am humble to the moment.
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And so.
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The most important realization for me in September, 2024.
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In one sentence.
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Here's what the template demands.
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It's all here.
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I just desire softer and harder simultaneously.
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I will pay attention to when I need softness, I will take advantage of energy and create more.
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I will honor my energy and my health.
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I will honor my family and I will honor exploration of my ever evolving self.
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Honoring our ever evolving self, that is what it's about because the suffering that happens when we know we are out of alignment with what we want and what's right for us is what creates a life of tension and stress and regret and You know, a lot of the work that I do is around identity and a lot of the excavation and, you know, getting certified in neuro linguistic programming and, you know, learning about quantum linguistics and all this stuff that I've done has been a deeply important part of me looking into, you know, Why am I the way that I am? Why? Anyone watch The Office? Why are you all of the things that you choose to be? Um, was watching, Um, this old documentary on Anais Nin.
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And because I read, I didn't know about her, of her, and there were a couple of quotes that came across my feed recently and I was like punched in the face.
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I was like, Oh my God, it was this woman.
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Oh my gosh.
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And, um, I watched this documentary on her from like 1998 and then a, uh, another presentation someone did on her and what he said of her.
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I realized is what I want for me in my life, not in the way that she lived it out because ma'am had a life, man, she, if you don't know of her or about her, wow, she made some choices and but in the way of someone being so unapologetically alive in her life, whether or not it is the All of the actions in it are the noble or proper thing to do, I'll put it that way.
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She lived free and untamed, and in going to those edges and those brinks of extreme aliveness, she was able to retrieve for us an expression that we can all connect to in whatever way we do, whatever way resonates for us.
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She spoke of the desire to use both the symbol and the interpretation of the symbol from the unconscious put on the page, the expression of living moments.
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And to her, the living moment is the immediate emotional reaction to experience.
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And this aha for me is like, this is how I, this is how I, interpret, this is how I function.
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When I think about our relationship to photographic practice, that immediate unfiltered instinct, not concerned with shame or perception or.
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Whatever the fuck it is, photography is just my way to get there.
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And I think that it's in very underrated way to get to that place of like, Oh, who am I when I'm not trying to be what people expect me to be or what my past life identity has anchored me into being, or, but it is very much fucking here now, present moment meditation.
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But if you can get to that, through another way.
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If you could get to that in any other way, whatever it is, then screw the photographs.
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Do it that way.
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But this is the work of our lives.
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This is the, this is the greatest gift that we could give to both ourself and the world.
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And I think that it takes a really heavy lift to get to the point to let it sink into our brains that what is good for you is best for everyone.
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Because we're programmed to think that that is selfish.
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We're programmed to think that these two cannot exist at once.
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Like there has to be a sacrifice and um, perhaps in, in some way that could be so, but I also think that there's another way to look at it where.
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Not only is it not a sacrifice, but it's the highest gift for all involved.
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But you just have to ride that wave long enough to find that out.
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It's not only about instant proof and gratification.
271
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And, but look, results, results.
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We know, like we know, like we know that the most.
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Um, vital things.
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In life.
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And the human experience.
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We can't see.
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You can't see.
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Err.
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You can't see everything that's available to you at all times.
280
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Like think about.
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I'm going to Paris next month.
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Um, and, and traveling with my mom from Paris to Florence and.
283
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I haven't paid any mind to it.
284
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I've been so.
285
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There's busy.
286
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I hate hesitancy, but so busy because it's not, I don't know.
287
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I think sometimes we get really married to saying that.
288
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And like, then invisibly start.
289
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Taking pride in, like, I'm just so busy.
290
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Um, And.
291
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I was looking at last night, I was putting the kids to bed and I was looking at Airbnb is on my phone.
292
00:35:11,202.2840664 --> 00:35:16,482.2840664
And I was like all of a sudden got so excited and I have to be honest, I haven't been excited.
293
00:35:16,812.2840664 --> 00:35:17,412.2840664
To go.
294
00:35:18,132.2840664 --> 00:35:23,742.2840664
I am so grateful for this opportunity to take this trip with my mom, but I also have not.
295
00:35:24,762.2840664 --> 00:35:25,782.2840664
It's just like, wow.
296
00:35:25,812.2840664 --> 00:35:27,222.2840664
It came out of nowhere.
297
00:35:27,252.2840664 --> 00:35:28,842.2840664
I decided I'm going.
298
00:35:28,932.2840664 --> 00:35:33,882.2840664
Cause I'm going to see my work up in a show in an exhibit in.
299
00:35:34,212.2840664 --> 00:35:34,692.2840664
Paris.
300
00:35:34,722.2840664 --> 00:35:38,292.2840664
I am just not going to let one more show go by where I just don't.
301
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Go and see my own work and give myself that respect.
302
00:35:41,622.2840664 --> 00:35:42,192.2840664
So.
303
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I just haven't really had a chance to think about it.
304
00:35:47,682.2840664 --> 00:35:51,942.2840664
And I'm like looking at these photographs of these Airbnbs and I'm like, oh my gosh.
305
00:35:52,722.2840664 --> 00:35:54,12.2840664
Look at what's available.
306
00:35:54,42.2840664 --> 00:35:55,752.2840664
It's so beautiful.
307
00:35:56,742.2840664 --> 00:36:01,272.2840664
And my brain just opened up and it's like, oh yeah, It's an it.
308
00:36:01,992.2840664 --> 00:36:07,722.2840664
It's not something that I have a previous picture of because I've never been, so my mind.
309
00:36:08,442.2840664 --> 00:36:09,912.2840664
And my heart and my soul.
310
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Weren't.
311
00:36:12,252.2840664 --> 00:36:17,532.2840664
In a default way, excited to explore and make time for that.
312
00:36:18,42.2840664 --> 00:36:23,532.2840664
And now that I'm like looking at these air BMPs and like actually putting some time into.
313
00:36:24,402.2840664 --> 00:36:28,212.2840664
Exploring and doing research and whatever it's like, oh yeah.
314
00:36:28,992.2840664 --> 00:36:32,442.2840664
The world opens up literally and figuratively.
315
00:36:32,832.2840664 --> 00:36:33,192.2840664
Right.
316
00:36:33,822.2840664 --> 00:36:34,542.2840664
All of those.
317
00:36:35,22.2840664 --> 00:36:44,52.2840664
Amazing gorgeous places exist, even if we've never seen them, even if we've never put any effort into going there and the same as so for our life.
318
00:36:44,52.2840664 --> 00:36:47,382.2840664
And you don't have to travel to fucking Europe, which even though.
319
00:36:47,832.2840664 --> 00:36:58,842.2840664
I'm very looking forward to traveling to Europe, but you don't have to travel outside of anywhere, but your own backyard, your own home, your own mind, your own soul to be able to access this depth of openness.
320
00:36:59,352.2840664 --> 00:36:59,832.2840664
And.
321
00:36:59,832.2840664 --> 00:37:07,812.2840664
That is what makes it so magical with the photographs that we take, because it's like a little peep hole into our internal worlds.
322
00:37:07,812.2840664 --> 00:37:09,102.2840664
And through that.
323
00:37:09,582.2840664 --> 00:37:13,212.2840664
Through being more aware of our internal worlds, we're able to.
324
00:37:14,922.2840664 --> 00:37:18,162.2840664
Intentionally and consciously decide.
325
00:37:18,162.2840664 --> 00:37:20,682.2840664
To open more decide.
326
00:37:20,922.2840664 --> 00:37:23,292.2840664
Oh, I'm, I'm seeing this.
327
00:37:23,682.2840664 --> 00:37:25,152.2840664
Do I want this to be so.
328
00:37:26,852.2840664 --> 00:37:28,952.2840664
Breadcrumbs breadcrumbs breadcrumbs.
329
00:37:29,462.2840664 --> 00:37:31,592.2840664
Uh, flashlight in the dark forest.
330
00:37:32,42.2840664 --> 00:37:33,992.2840664
Can only aluminate so far ahead.
331
00:37:34,412.2840664 --> 00:37:37,322.2840664
And the only way you can get it to shine further.
332
00:37:37,742.2840664 --> 00:37:38,792.2840664
Is to take a step.
333
00:37:39,272.2840664 --> 00:37:41,492.2840664
Is to physically take that step.
334
00:37:41,942.2840664 --> 00:37:43,172.2840664
And then you can see a little more.
335
00:37:43,742.2840664 --> 00:37:46,262.2840664
And then take another step and see a little more, but.
336
00:37:47,342.2840664 --> 00:37:51,482.2840664
You're taking the steps based off of how far you can see.
337
00:37:51,482.2840664 --> 00:37:53,72.2840664
And it doesn't work like that.
338
00:37:56,282.2840664 --> 00:37:57,362.2840664
It doesn't work like that.
339
00:37:57,422.2840664 --> 00:38:00,572.2840664
If you're looking to be.
340
00:38:00,572.2840664 --> 00:38:04,622.2840664
Surprised and delighted by the miracles that life has to offer.
341
00:38:06,242.2840664 --> 00:38:07,772.2840664
It can work like that.
342
00:38:10,172.2840664 --> 00:38:14,432.2840664
But you will only ever get what you can see with your own two.
343
00:38:14,522.2840664 --> 00:38:15,2.2840664
Eyes.
344
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If that's the only thing you're willing to trust.
345
00:38:23,822.2840664 --> 00:38:25,142.2840664
So we come back full circle.
346
00:38:27,32.2840664 --> 00:38:30,242.2840664
What are the quotes that I put in? My sheet.
347
00:38:30,722.2840664 --> 00:38:31,712.2840664
Or my template.
348
00:38:33,632.2840664 --> 00:38:34,532.2840664
The two things.
349
00:38:34,532.2840664 --> 00:38:37,952.2840664
The things that I was very casually flipping through.
350
00:38:38,732.2840664 --> 00:38:43,472.2840664
Um, a photo book in SF MoMA, as I was waiting for my phone to charge.
351
00:38:44,12.2840664 --> 00:38:44,762.2840664
How they so.
352
00:38:46,472.2840664 --> 00:38:48,482.2840664
Kindly offer those in the museum.
353
00:38:49,892.2840664 --> 00:38:53,192.2840664
And it says when you learn to trust yourself, implicitly.
354
00:38:53,702.2840664 --> 00:38:56,462.2840664
You no longer need to prove something.
355
00:38:58,262.2840664 --> 00:38:59,162.2840664
Through your art.
356
00:38:59,942.2840664 --> 00:39:00,902.2840664
Through your life.
357
00:39:03,542.2840664 --> 00:39:05,282.2840664
You simply allow it to come.
358
00:39:05,672.2840664 --> 00:39:06,872.2840664
And to be, as it is.
359
00:39:07,592.2840664 --> 00:39:09,2.2840664
And this is when creating.
360
00:39:09,572.2840664 --> 00:39:13,202.2840664
Art and creating a life you love becomes effortless.
361
00:39:14,282.2840664 --> 00:39:15,212.2840664
It happens.
362
00:39:16,712.2840664 --> 00:39:17,702.2840664
It just grows.
363
00:39:22,502.2840664 --> 00:39:27,512.2840664
And then that other quote was if one reaches the point where understanding fails.
364
00:39:29,42.2840664 --> 00:39:30,782.2840664
This is not a tragedy.
365
00:39:31,832.2840664 --> 00:39:35,822.2840664
It is simply a reminder to stop thinking and start looking.
366
00:39:37,802.2840664 --> 00:39:40,292.2840664
Perhaps there is nothing to figure out after all.
367
00:39:40,982.2840664 --> 00:39:43,22.2840664
Perhaps we only need to wake up.
368
00:39:44,882.2840664 --> 00:39:45,992.2840664
Perhaps we.
369
00:39:47,132.2840664 --> 00:39:52,982.2840664
Just need to make that sliver of a nuance change of instead of looking at something.
370
00:39:54,32.2840664 --> 00:39:55,52.2840664
Letting yourself.
371
00:39:55,502.2840664 --> 00:39:56,432.2840664
See it.
372
00:39:59,762.2840664 --> 00:40:03,872.2840664
Look at the pictures that you put on your template, look at the pictures that you reflected on.
373
00:40:03,872.2840664 --> 00:40:08,642.2840664
And if you're, if you didn't do the template, Scroll through your phone right now.
374
00:40:09,872.2840664 --> 00:40:11,702.2840664
And let yourself stop.
375
00:40:12,722.2840664 --> 00:40:14,972.2840664
At an image that makes you want to stop.
376
00:40:16,22.2840664 --> 00:40:17,402.2840664
Exercise that muscle.
377
00:40:17,732.2840664 --> 00:40:20,402.2840664
Of listening to your instinct and listening to your impulse.
378
00:40:20,852.2840664 --> 00:40:25,172.2840664
And then when you look at that photo, Allow yourself to see.
379
00:40:25,802.2840664 --> 00:40:29,42.2840664
Beyond it to see deeper to go through it.
380
00:40:29,972.2840664 --> 00:40:36,992.2840664
To me like, okay, if I can get past, this is a picture of me and stop like critiquing, um, I don't like the angle.
381
00:40:37,562.2840664 --> 00:40:38,942.2840664
That's not very flattering on.
382
00:40:40,172.2840664 --> 00:40:41,852.2840664
And you go deeper into it.
383
00:40:42,32.2840664 --> 00:40:42,602.2840664
What.
384
00:40:43,532.2840664 --> 00:40:44,972.2840664
Is this picture telling you.
385
00:40:47,522.2840664 --> 00:40:54,602.2840664
What is this picture telling you about the experience of it being shot? What is this picture telling you about? The person who took it.
386
00:40:54,872.2840664 --> 00:40:58,142.2840664
The relationship there, that exact moment.
387
00:40:58,142.2840664 --> 00:41:04,832.2840664
What happened with the light? What happened with the composition? What happened? Like just let yourself swirl.
388
00:41:05,12.2840664 --> 00:41:08,582.2840664
We swirl over the most horrific shit.
389
00:41:09,2.2840664 --> 00:41:15,272.2840664
The rest of the day, can you let yourself swirl? Into something that is meaningful.
390
00:41:15,602.2840664 --> 00:41:19,502.2840664
And can be profoundly helpful and enriching in your life.
391
00:41:19,862.2840664 --> 00:41:21,812.2840664
Swirl around the pictures you're taking.
392
00:41:24,2.2840664 --> 00:41:26,312.2840664
Let yourself swirl around yourself.
393
00:41:27,842.2840664 --> 00:41:30,602.2840664
It's okay to give yourself that much attention.
394
00:41:31,382.2840664 --> 00:41:32,252.2840664
And regard.
395
00:41:33,962.2840664 --> 00:41:35,212.2840664
And time and.
396
00:41:36,772.2840664 --> 00:41:37,282.2840664
Love.
397
00:41:44,302.2840664 --> 00:41:45,532.2840664
It really is.
398
00:41:46,852.2840664 --> 00:41:52,192.2840664
Trippy how the longer we let ourselves sit with something in marinate.
399
00:41:53,362.2840664 --> 00:41:55,132.2840664
We can find the thread.
400
00:41:55,162.2840664 --> 00:41:56,992.2840664
We can connect the thread.
401
00:41:57,622.2840664 --> 00:41:59,302.2840664
In everything we're doing.
402
00:41:59,722.2840664 --> 00:42:01,312.2840664
And everything we're not doing.
403
00:42:01,612.2840664 --> 00:42:04,372.2840664
And we begin to let ourselves.
404
00:42:05,752.2840664 --> 00:42:08,542.2840664
Oh, wake into our own power and wisdom.
405
00:42:09,172.2840664 --> 00:42:09,832.2840664
In this life.
406
00:42:13,822.2840664 --> 00:42:15,892.2840664
And I will never stop talking about this.
407
00:42:21,922.2840664 --> 00:42:23,422.2840664
I hope that.
408
00:42:23,422.2840664 --> 00:42:31,602.2840664
If you are a part of, The sacred seeing community and did the nostalgia now template, I hope that you had, an eye-opening experience.
409
00:42:31,602.2840664 --> 00:42:33,312.2840664
I would love to hear.
410
00:42:33,742.2840664 --> 00:42:39,172.2840664
what came up for you? If you feel so inspired to share, feel free to send me a message on sub stack.
411
00:42:39,172.2840664 --> 00:42:41,502.2840664
You can private DM messages on sub stack.
412
00:42:41,812.2840664 --> 00:42:43,102.2840664
you could also find me on Instagram.
413
00:42:43,852.2840664 --> 00:42:54,372.2840664
Uh, and if you did not, if you're not part of the, member space in sub stack, I hope that this inspired you to take a moment and scroll through the last month of your life.
414
00:42:55,92.2840664 --> 00:42:56,352.2840664
And let yourself stop.
415
00:42:56,402.2840664 --> 00:42:57,372.2840664
at a few images.
416
00:42:58,62.2840664 --> 00:42:59,682.2840664
And if you feel compelled to journal.
417
00:43:00,72.2840664 --> 00:43:01,182.2840664
Without the template.
418
00:43:02,292.2840664 --> 00:43:05,82.2840664
Just go ahead and open a notebook and write what comes up.
419
00:43:05,292.2840664 --> 00:43:07,602.2840664
Let yourself completely stream of consciousness.
420
00:43:08,892.2840664 --> 00:43:09,522.2840664
Right.
421
00:43:09,612.2840664 --> 00:43:16,512.2840664
What happens for you when you let yourself sit? With the moments that you deemed important enough to photograph.
422
00:43:19,412.2840664 --> 00:43:20,942.2840664
We are alive.
423
00:43:27,62.2840664 --> 00:43:28,292.2840664
We are sitting here.
424
00:43:29,222.2840664 --> 00:43:33,2.2840664
With invisible oxygen going in and out of our body.
425
00:43:34,52.2840664 --> 00:43:36,932.2840664
Blood pumping through our veins that we can't see.
426
00:43:38,132.2840664 --> 00:43:40,652.2840664
It's all happening and we're alive.
427
00:43:41,822.2840664 --> 00:43:42,902.2840664
And it's America.
428
00:43:48,842.2840664 --> 00:43:51,32.2840664
What a shame it would be.
429
00:43:54,212.2840664 --> 00:43:57,482.2840664
To take that for granted what a shame it would be.
430
00:43:59,882.2840664 --> 00:44:05,372.2840664
To not take the miracle of that and just live.
431
00:44:05,912.2840664 --> 00:44:07,382.2840664
The way you want to live.
432
00:44:07,772.2840664 --> 00:44:09,212.2840664
That is what I want for you.
433
00:44:09,362.2840664 --> 00:44:10,682.2840664
Oh, this is what I want for me.
434
00:44:10,982.2840664 --> 00:44:15,182.2840664
And I don't mean, oh, construct these grand ambitions.
435
00:44:15,212.2840664 --> 00:44:21,872.2840664
And I mean, Just get quiet and listen to yourself.
436
00:44:22,472.2840664 --> 00:44:34,892.2840664
What do you really want? Do you want to move to a farm? Do you want to look for a remote job, but because you're so sick of commuting, do you want to.
437
00:44:36,482.2840664 --> 00:44:38,732.2840664
Speak more publicly.
438
00:44:40,532.2840664 --> 00:44:42,92.2840664
Do you want to.
439
00:44:46,292.2840664 --> 00:44:47,972.2840664
Homeschool your kids.
440
00:44:49,682.2840664 --> 00:44:51,302.2840664
Do you want to.
441
00:44:53,822.2840664 --> 00:44:55,712.2840664
Start taking cooking classes.
442
00:44:57,482.2840664 --> 00:45:03,812.2840664
What do you want to do? Do you want to go have a cup of tea? Start small.
443
00:45:04,952.2840664 --> 00:45:05,792.2840664
Build the muscle.
444
00:45:07,112.2840664 --> 00:45:12,902.2840664
What are you going to do right now? As you stop listening to this? I am going to.
445
00:45:15,122.2840664 --> 00:45:17,642.2840664
Get up and go hug my dog.
446
00:45:18,512.2840664 --> 00:45:20,672.2840664
Live with my dog on the ground.
447
00:45:20,822.2840664 --> 00:45:21,752.2840664
For a few minutes.
448
00:45:23,132.2840664 --> 00:45:31,472.2840664
What are you going to do? What will you do? With this one and only life.
449
00:45:36,62.2840664 --> 00:45:37,742.2840664
Sending you love and light.
450
00:45:37,772.2840664 --> 00:45:38,402.2840664
Enjoy.
451
00:45:39,62.2840664 --> 00:45:39,812.2840664
And power.
452
00:45:41,942.2840664 --> 00:45:42,512.2840664
See you next time.
453
00:45:43,549.1774904 --> 00:45:46,769.1774904
This has been an Awkward Sage Production.
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:09,210
And it says if one reaches the point where understanding fails.
2
00:00:10,740 --> 00:00:12,480
This is not a tragedy.
3
00:00:13,530 --> 00:00:17,520
It is simply a reminder to stop thinking and start looking.
4
00:00:19,500 --> 00:00:21,990
Perhaps there is nothing to figure out after all.
5
00:00:22,680 --> 00:00:24,720
Perhaps we only need to wake up.
6
00:00:26,580 --> 00:00:27,690
Perhaps we.
7
00:00:27,690 --> 00:00:33,540
Just need to make that sliver of a nuance change of instead of looking at something.
8
00:00:34,590 --> 00:00:35,610
Letting yourself.
9
00:00:36,060 --> 00:00:36,990
See it.
10
00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:45,250
Look at the pictures that you put on your template, if you didn't do the template, Scroll through your phone right now.
11
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,310
And let yourself stop.
12
00:00:49,330 --> 00:00:51,580
At an image that makes you want to stop.
13
00:00:52,630 --> 00:00:54,010
Exercise that muscle.
14
00:00:54,340 --> 00:00:57,010
Of listening to your instinct and listening to your impulse.
15
00:00:57,460 --> 00:01:01,780
And then when you look at that photo, Allow yourself to see.
16
00:01:02,410 --> 00:01:05,650
Beyond it to see deeper to go through it.
17
00:01:06,580 --> 00:01:13,600
To me like, okay, if I can get past, this is a picture of me and stop like critiquing, um, I don't like the angle.
18
00:01:14,170 --> 00:01:15,550
That's not very flattering on.
19
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And you go deeper into it.
20
00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:19,210
What.
21
00:01:20,140 --> 00:01:21,580
Is this picture telling you.
22
00:01:21,580 --> 00:01:28,660
What is this picture telling you about the experience of it being shot? What is this picture telling you about? The person who took it.
23
00:01:28,930 --> 00:01:32,200
The relationship there, that exact moment.
24
00:01:32,200 --> 00:01:37,710
What happened with the light? What happened with the composition? Just let yourself swirl.
25
00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:41,460
We swirl over the most horrific shit.
26
00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:46,980
The rest of the day, can you let yourself swirl? Into something meaningful.
27
00:01:47,310 --> 00:01:51,210
And can be profoundly helpful and enriching in your life.
28
00:01:51,570 --> 00:01:53,520
Swirl around the pictures you're taking.
29
00:01:53,610 --> 00:01:55,920
Let yourself swirl around yourself.
30
00:01:57,450 --> 00:02:00,210
It's okay to give yourself that much attention.
31
00:02:00,990 --> 00:02:01,860
And regard.
32
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And time and.
33
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Help Me See is a podcast dedicated to the art of seeing.
34
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It's a space for the restless visionary with an insatiable desire to create the life and work you're meant for.
35
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My name is Bianca Lea Mora, and I'm a photographic artist, a mother, and a coach who's transformed my fear of loss into power, art, and philosophy.
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One of the scariest quotes I never want to say is, I wish I knew at the time, but I truly believe that we have the innate ability to bring our wise 2020 hindsight to our now.
37
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You can deeply experience your nostalgia now, while it's actually happening, with no regrets.
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All you have to do is see.
39
00:02:53,165 --> 00:03:09,015
In this show, we laugh, we cry, we get inspired, we overshare, we have life changing conversations around making meaning, self discovery, and shedding all the BS layers in order to reconnect to our own sacred vision.
40
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Seeing yourself is an essential key to living powerfully.
41
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You are the vessel, the lens that filters absolutely everything in your life.
42
00:03:19,664.999 --> 00:03:41,220
What are you filtering for? Whether it be conversations with fellow artists and visionaries, or my solo audio journal style introspective ramblings, each episode is meant to feel like an exhale, an unraveling of truth, a moment for you to be able to put your finger on something that you haven't been able to for far too long.
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Come exactly as you are.
44
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It's perfect.
45
00:03:46,709.999 --> 00:03:48,229.999
Honor your instincts.
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Let's uncover some of the most important things in our lives which all too often can slip out from our view.
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Let's commit to seeing and consciously creating what only you can in your one and only life.
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Let's dive in.
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Hello and welcome to Nostalgia Now.
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This month I'm doing something different.
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So in the past, when this Nostalgia Now was a membership with a live component, we would get together once a month and the first hour be co working.
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We'd all have our templates up, do our, um, templates together on mute with the micro with the cameras off, and then we would come together and do a show and tell and talk about the experience and what we learned and share whatever we felt like sharing and our discoveries and our breakthroughs.
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And, I got the nudge to make this month just like that.
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So this recording is going to have a pause that allows you to do your own template.
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00:04:59,538.33333333 --> 00:05:04,348.33333333
It allows you to press pause and then put on the music.
56
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I almost played music for you and let there be an extra hour of space.
57
00:05:09,378.33333333 --> 00:05:13,518.33333333
But then I was like, maybe they're not into my melancholic music.
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00:05:13,988.33333333 --> 00:05:15,848.33333333
Um, so.
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I encourage you to press pause, put on your own music, have your yummy drink, get a blanket on you, do whatever you want to do to make this a sacred space for you to reflect on the last month.
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So this is for the month of September.
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And, um, this month I actually did something new where I used film stills.
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I was watching a, an old YouTube video of a documentary on Anais and I.
63
00:05:46,408.33333333 --> 00:05:48,658.33333333
Was so inspired by the footage of her.
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So I took some screenshots and added it there.
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The credit, uh, of the documentary and the director is at the end of the template.
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And, yeah, let me just go through this for you before we start, this particular month is dedicated to the passing of a peer of mine that was in a photography group that I'm also in called Memory Cult.
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And her name is E.
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00:06:12,828.33383333 --> 00:06:13,78.33383333
J.
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Hassan.
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00:06:14,678.33383333 --> 00:06:24,363.33383333
And I watched her celebration of life and was so, I mean, I would just bawled for two hours straight.
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I didn't even know her on a personal level, um, just pleasantries and just knew of her and of her insanely gorgeous work.
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Getting upset just talking about it.
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Um, she was a beautiful soul and There were so many comments, um, from her loved ones who were giving speeches about her and her life that just gripped me and I left that celebration thinking, I want to be more like EJ.
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I want to live my life more like EJ.
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00:07:00,718.33383333 --> 00:07:12,928.33383333
And, um, one of the quotes that struck me the most, um, Was when one of her close friends said, when you think of like being in the moment, she was the moment.
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00:07:14,508.33383333 --> 00:07:20,698.33383333
She was like referring to her warmth and her ability to be so present and be there with you.
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Not anywhere else, but in that moment and that inspired me so much.
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So, um, you know, as I've been talking with a few friends, I have shared that I just feel such urgency and To live for myself and also for her, um, but what, what gave me such comfort about hearing more about her personal life through her loved ones was this knowing that that was a life she lived, she, she lived, she did what made her happy.
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She went back to school for photography later in life.
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00:08:11,613.33383333 --> 00:08:16,93.33383333
She taught, she wasn't warmth and sunshine personified.
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00:08:16,193.33383333 --> 00:08:18,253.33383333
Um, and.
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I'm just so, I feel so honored and grateful for the opportunity to deepen into that and to take notes from her and to look at her work and to live and take pictures for her as well.
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00:08:38,713.33333333 --> 00:08:41,273.33383333
And and through that inspiration.
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Um, it's a live link.
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If you're, if you're wanting to learn more about this magical soul, um, the founder of memory coat, Anastasia, she of course created the most beautiful tribute to her.
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00:08:54,943.33383333 --> 00:09:26,538.33383333
And if you want to read some of EJ's words and watch a tribute video, um, you can click on the link, um, that says this month is dedicated to Okay, so this urgency to live, this urgency to live feels like an urgency to do what I already know how to do, to be what I already am, but fully expressed.
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We're talking about self actualization.
88
00:09:31,688.33283333 --> 00:09:41,108.33383333
And I was recently, I said that my biggest fear.
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00:09:41,698.33383333 --> 00:10:08,698.33383333
you know, outside of really horrible things like death and, you know, loss and fears that most people have, parents have, is Not knowing that I have an option, not seeing a possibility of something that would have helped me feel more alive in my life and, live deeper.
90
00:10:09,508.33383333 --> 00:10:16,488.33383333
Um, it's not the regret of, Oh, I didn't.
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I, I, I didn't choose to do that.
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I'm not afraid of making a wrong choice.
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I'm afraid of not having my eyes open to the most alive version of myself, whatever that is.
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And that is what every month that is what these templates are about.
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There are my way of guiding myself back to myself because I'm so emotional this month, because We have so many well meaning, innocent, uh, unavoidable filters that have been put onto us over our lifetimes.
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And our truth comes across like it cannot be held back.
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There are, it can be suppressed, but it cannot be held back in the moments that matter most when you burst out crying or like in these waves that all of a sudden I just get tears on in my face.
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It feels like my face is welling up.
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Um, it's that's, that's truth.
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When you have these, uh, Quote, unquote, irrational, overemotional.
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No, those moments are when you are alive.
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And those are the sacred moments where we should be taking notes and be like, Oh, okay, more of this.
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This is the field notes for living our life and our photography practice, whether you're a professional or not, I don't give a shit.
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Is.
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The moments where you're subconscious, it's not even, oftentimes it's not premeditated and like, Oh, I have to get a picture of this.
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It's just this impulse that happens and connecting you with that instinct and like having you refer back to those kernels of wisdom that you're trying to tell yourself, helping you become more familiar with your own personal visual language is my biggest goal.
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Because.
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There is a knowing there that when you are connected to yourself in that way, you will unavoidably elegantly, effortlessly live more accordance to that because you cannot unsee what you see.
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It's like a rubber band that gets stretched out.
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It doesn't go back to its same form.
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So.
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Revel in the fact that you are about to bring your most intimate inner wisdom and hindsight to right now, while you still have the ability to live it.
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This ritual will inevitably leave you with a vital breadcrumb for living a deeply intentional life.
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I am going to let you go through the prompts on your own.
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I'm not going to read them to you.
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My only encouragement here, my invitation for you, Would be to not try to make sense of yourself to yourself.
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And that is one of my biggest struggles in life.
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That's why I lean so hard on my photographs, because otherwise I'm just really trying to use my monkey brain to figure myself out.
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And let me tell you, it's much harder and also not fruitful.
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So.
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When you read these prompts and you go scrolling through your camera scroll for the pictures that you took in the last month, like whether this is your iCloud, uh, your Google photos, just the last month, the month of September only.
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So we're eliminating the overwhelm of like, Oh my gosh, all the pictures I've ever taken.
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No, just the last month of your life.
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That is like the freshest, um, batch of information from your subconscious to yourself, um, from your heart to yourself, to your life.
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Read these prompts and if an image pops out at you.
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Don't try to qualify it.
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Don't try to be like, well, I'm like, that doesn't seem like that doesn't track.
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Let yourself go with your instinct.
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This is an exercise in trusting your instinct in really becoming in tune with your impulses and going with that and let yourself see that on the page and move from that.
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Don't let your brain try to overtake your heart, your soul, your sacral gut for once.
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Let your brain take a back seat.
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Don't over intellectualize this, just be in the experience and let whatever comes up, comes up, sit with it, meditate on it.
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Um, sometimes, honestly, for me, when I'm doing this, I need to be listening to instrumental music because listening to someone else's words distracts me.
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Uh, and it's hard for me to focus on tuning into myself.
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So, um, if that's a pointer for you, I welcome you to do that.
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Check out some instrumental Spotify playlists.
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Um, yeah.
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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So I'm actually going to pause here and do my template myself, put on my music, get in it, and then I will come back and share what I have discovered through completing the template.
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I will see you then.
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hope you had a really fulfilling experience with your template, with your reflection of the last month of your life.
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What did you uncover? What? Did you realize that you knew all along? One of the pictures that I used was a picture I took of my son in the pool at this, uh, vacation we just went on.
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And it struck me because it reminded me of What I consider to be a self portrait of myself, which are film stills that I took Of a home video of me when I was a baby and So next to this picture, I think I see me Oftentimes I think we take pictures and We don't realize why we're so taken By them until later.
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Um, in this case, it's been a few days since I took this picture and now I look at it and I think, oh yeah, it's because it's me.
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I see me in my son.
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And it's really interesting to see yourself in your children because we give our love to our children so freely.
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And we're stingy as fuck giving ourselves love.
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We can, we can be very withholding.
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We can withhold love, affection, acceptance from ourselves.
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And, um, when you look at a picture of your child and see you and have that much love for your child, it's an invitation to extend that.
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To yourself, it's an invitation to extend that to the, so the person that came before this little person that you love so much.
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Okay.
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What did I uncover? So two of the pictures that I chose for this month, so there are four pictures altogether.
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Two of the pictures are actually photographs I snapped of a book I was looking at when I was at, um, the, a museum.
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And.
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Um, the first one is what jumped at, jumped out at me when I think about bliss, like, I got that exhale that came to be after reading this quote and the quote is, the full quote is, when you learn to trust yourself implicitly, you no longer need to prove something through your art, you simply allow it to come out.
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To be as it is, this is when creating art becomes effortless.
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It happens just as you grow your hair.
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It grows.
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And that's by John, forgive me, I'm going to mispronounce this.
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John Dido Laurie? Um, I took these pictures, uh, these two pictures of these pages of this book that I have yet to order.
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So I'm looking forward to reading this book.
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I believe it's called the mindful photographer.
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I think this is pure bliss to me because I think about how this is so effortless.
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When I have a camera to my face on the rest of my life, this is effort to It's really hard to embody this in a lot of other areas.
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And I think this is the phase and this is the season of life that I'm in is this onboarding, this merging of the world and the person I am in the world I'm in when I have a camera to my face and, and what happens when I'm, when I don't, uh, Something that I don't understand, but cannot deny, ironically, is this quote that is what I base all the work I do on.
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And yet, I still, this is why, you know, we teach what we need to learn.
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This is why I still tango with this bitch.
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If one reaches the point where understanding fails, this is not a tragedy.
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It is simply a reminder to stop thinking and start looking.
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Perhaps there is nothing to figure out after all.
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Perhaps we only need to wake up.
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And that is by Thomas.
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Morton, Martin, sorry.
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It's really, really small on the screen.
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Um, it's why we're doing this.
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It's why we're here right now, looking at our images and making meaning of them.
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We already saw these pictures that we're looking at.
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You already saw every picture you've taken.
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And there's so much wisdom in every single one of them.
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So much to glean.
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So much to perceive And it's like on the tip of your nose It's right there Tattooed and yet this practice this ritual of going back and looking and reflecting and connecting those dots Is Crucial to staying awake in our life Another picture I used is one of the pictures from when I stopped when I was driving from Carmel to San Francisco and it was sunset and the sun was rapidly changing and I was so tired and I just wanted to get home but I stopped like 4 or 5 times because the sun kept changing changing and the sky kept changing in this beautiful nuanced way and I had to stop.
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I had to pull over.
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And I think this is life.
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It's like you already have the momentum.
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You don't want to break that momentum.
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It already took enough energy, mental bandwidth, emotional bandwidth, To keep all the parts moving.
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Took so much effort to get to where we're at.
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But sometimes, stopping is the most important thing we could be doing.
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Stopping could stop you from going a million miles in the wrong direction.
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I am.
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The final image is a picture that was taken of me speaking, unbeknownst to me, at a candid photo, when I was at, um, uh, an Alex Soth workshop, um, at his home.
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And it was taken by one of my peers and, um, classmates, Arash.
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And, um, thank you, iresh.
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I look at that picture and when I think about if tomorrow didn't exist, what would I do today? And of course, it depends on the day and the energy, emotions of the day.
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But when I think about this, I think about living deeper and more fully into my life.
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And I think about expressing more and I think about being more prolific.
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I think about Letting myself get in those moments where I'm not aware, I was not aware that he was taking a photo because I was so deeply involved in whatever the fuck I was saying with my hands, of course, my eyes half open.
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When I look at this picture, I remember that I do have these moments of complete, full embodiment.
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Um, Um, that feel not like rare moments of life, but like the moments on steroids, like, Ooh, like that rev of the engine.
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And I want more of that.
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So those are the pictures they're done.
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And when I reflect on the journal questions.
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Uh, here's what I wrote.
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If I let myself, except my full power, I would move with strength and ease versus trepidation.
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I would be more bold about fulfilling my own needs.
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I wouldn't shy away or downplay my joy.
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It's okay.
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To be happy.
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It's okay.
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To show joy.
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It's okay.
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To let down my guard.
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It's okay to own myself.
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It's okay to sing.
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It's okay.
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To follow lightness without betraying or abandoning the alternative.
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If it all ended abruptly.
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I'm so fucking glad I owned my time.
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I'm glad I woke up and continue to wake up again and again, and again.
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Remember, forget, remember, forget not a problem, but the point.
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I'm so glad I didn't let fear hold me back from taking risks.
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Nothing is really a risk afterall.
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All all a facade.
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The biggest risk I could take is ignoring my desires for my one and only life.
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I wish I could have explored more.
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I wish I could have.
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Been more diligent in optimizing my energy.
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I wish I would have published, perform, spoke more.
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Deeper fuller more.
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I wish I would have found ways to enjoy play with my kids.
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I wish I would have relaxed and found more fun, found my version of fun.
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I am the moment when I don't let inconvenience, stop me from pulling over five times because the sun going down on the coast is too much to offer and it's breathtaking, nuanced change.
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I am the moment when I honor what is instead of pushing to orchestrate a sure thing.
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I am the moment when I am humble to the moment.
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And so.
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The most important realization for me in September, 2024.
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In one sentence.
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Here's what the template demands.
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It's all here.
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I just desire softer and harder simultaneously.
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I will pay attention to when I need softness, I will take advantage of energy and create more.
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I will honor my energy and my health.
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I will honor my family and I will honor exploration of my ever evolving self.
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Honoring our ever evolving self, that is what it's about because the suffering that happens when we know we are out of alignment with what we want and what's right for us is what creates a life of tension and stress and regret and You know, a lot of the work that I do is around identity and a lot of the excavation and, you know, getting certified in neuro linguistic programming and, you know, learning about quantum linguistics and all this stuff that I've done has been a deeply important part of me looking into, you know, Why am I the way that I am? Why? Anyone watch The Office? Why are you all of the things that you choose to be? Um, was watching, Um, this old documentary on Anais Nin.
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And because I read, I didn't know about her, of her, and there were a couple of quotes that came across my feed recently and I was like punched in the face.
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I was like, Oh my God, it was this woman.
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Oh my gosh.
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And, um, I watched this documentary on her from like 1998 and then a, uh, another presentation someone did on her and what he said of her.
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I realized is what I want for me in my life, not in the way that she lived it out because ma'am had a life, man, she, if you don't know of her or about her, wow, she made some choices and but in the way of someone being so unapologetically alive in her life, whether or not it is the All of the actions in it are the noble or proper thing to do, I'll put it that way.
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She lived free and untamed, and in going to those edges and those brinks of extreme aliveness, she was able to retrieve for us an expression that we can all connect to in whatever way we do, whatever way resonates for us.
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She spoke of the desire to use both the symbol and the interpretation of the symbol from the unconscious put on the page, the expression of living moments.
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And to her, the living moment is the immediate emotional reaction to experience.
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And this aha for me is like, this is how I, this is how I, interpret, this is how I function.
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When I think about our relationship to photographic practice, that immediate unfiltered instinct, not concerned with shame or perception or.
257
00:32:28,660.7394966 --> 00:32:35,67.4061632
Whatever the fuck it is, photography is just my way to get there.
258
00:32:35,97.4061632 --> 00:32:55,747.4061632
And I think that it's in very underrated way to get to that place of like, Oh, who am I when I'm not trying to be what people expect me to be or what my past life identity has anchored me into being, or, but it is very much fucking here now, present moment meditation.
259
00:32:56,27.4061632 --> 00:32:58,827.4061632
But if you can get to that, through another way.
260
00:32:58,905.8609815 --> 00:33:04,5.8609815
If you could get to that in any other way, whatever it is, then screw the photographs.
261
00:33:04,435.8609815 --> 00:33:05,255.8609815
Do it that way.
262
00:33:05,645.8609815 --> 00:33:07,25.8609815
But this is the work of our lives.
263
00:33:07,55.8599815 --> 00:33:14,155.8609815
This is the, this is the greatest gift that we could give to both ourself and the world.
264
00:33:14,185.8609815 --> 00:33:30,250.8609815
And I think that it takes a really heavy lift to get to the point to let it sink into our brains that what is good for you is best for everyone.
265
00:33:30,540.8599815 --> 00:33:32,620.8604815
Because we're programmed to think that that is selfish.
266
00:33:32,620.8604815 --> 00:33:36,670.8609815
We're programmed to think that these two cannot exist at once.
267
00:33:36,670.8609815 --> 00:33:49,750.8609815
Like there has to be a sacrifice and um, perhaps in, in some way that could be so, but I also think that there's another way to look at it where.
268
00:33:50,590.8609815 --> 00:33:55,560.8609815
Not only is it not a sacrifice, but it's the highest gift for all involved.
269
00:33:55,600.8609815 --> 00:34:00,900.8609815
But you just have to ride that wave long enough to find that out.
270
00:34:01,110.8609815 --> 00:34:06,420.8599815
It's not only about instant proof and gratification.
271
00:34:06,430.8609815 --> 00:34:09,672.2840664
And, but look, results, results.
272
00:34:10,452.2840664 --> 00:34:14,142.2840664
We know, like we know, like we know that the most.
273
00:34:15,702.2840664 --> 00:34:17,862.2840664
Um, vital things.
274
00:34:18,612.2840664 --> 00:34:19,662.2840664
In life.
275
00:34:20,382.2840664 --> 00:34:21,822.2840664
And the human experience.
276
00:34:23,82.2840664 --> 00:34:24,222.2840664
We can't see.
277
00:34:25,902.2840664 --> 00:34:27,852.2840664
You can't see.
278
00:34:28,812.2840664 --> 00:34:29,472.2840664
Err.
279
00:34:30,222.2840664 --> 00:34:34,572.2840664
You can't see everything that's available to you at all times.
280
00:34:34,932.2840664 --> 00:34:35,892.2840664
Like think about.
281
00:34:36,462.2840664 --> 00:34:38,952.2840664
I'm going to Paris next month.
282
00:34:39,522.2840664 --> 00:34:44,52.2840664
Um, and, and traveling with my mom from Paris to Florence and.
283
00:34:44,742.2840664 --> 00:34:46,512.2840664
I haven't paid any mind to it.
284
00:34:46,512.2840664 --> 00:34:47,622.2840664
I've been so.
285
00:34:48,372.2840664 --> 00:34:49,272.2840664
There's busy.
286
00:34:49,272.2840664 --> 00:34:53,922.2840664
I hate hesitancy, but so busy because it's not, I don't know.
287
00:34:54,582.2840664 --> 00:34:56,772.2840664
I think sometimes we get really married to saying that.
288
00:34:56,802.2840664 --> 00:34:58,782.2840664
And like, then invisibly start.
289
00:34:59,352.2840664 --> 00:35:01,332.2840664
Taking pride in, like, I'm just so busy.
290
00:35:02,322.2840664 --> 00:35:06,42.2840664
Um, And.
291
00:35:07,122.2840664 --> 00:35:11,202.2840664
I was looking at last night, I was putting the kids to bed and I was looking at Airbnb is on my phone.
292
00:35:11,202.2840664 --> 00:35:16,482.2840664
And I was like all of a sudden got so excited and I have to be honest, I haven't been excited.
293
00:35:16,812.2840664 --> 00:35:17,412.2840664
To go.
294
00:35:18,132.2840664 --> 00:35:23,742.2840664
I am so grateful for this opportunity to take this trip with my mom, but I also have not.
295
00:35:24,762.2840664 --> 00:35:25,782.2840664
It's just like, wow.
296
00:35:25,812.2840664 --> 00:35:27,222.2840664
It came out of nowhere.
297
00:35:27,252.2840664 --> 00:35:28,842.2840664
I decided I'm going.
298
00:35:28,932.2840664 --> 00:35:33,882.2840664
Cause I'm going to see my work up in a show in an exhibit in.
299
00:35:34,212.2840664 --> 00:35:34,692.2840664
Paris.
300
00:35:34,722.2840664 --> 00:35:38,292.2840664
I am just not going to let one more show go by where I just don't.
301
00:35:38,772.2840664 --> 00:35:41,142.2840664
Go and see my own work and give myself that respect.
302
00:35:41,622.2840664 --> 00:35:42,192.2840664
So.
303
00:35:43,812.2840664 --> 00:35:47,82.2840664
I just haven't really had a chance to think about it.
304
00:35:47,682.2840664 --> 00:35:51,942.2840664
And I'm like looking at these photographs of these Airbnbs and I'm like, oh my gosh.
305
00:35:52,722.2840664 --> 00:35:54,12.2840664
Look at what's available.
306
00:35:54,42.2840664 --> 00:35:55,752.2840664
It's so beautiful.
307
00:35:56,742.2840664 --> 00:36:01,272.2840664
And my brain just opened up and it's like, oh yeah, It's an it.
308
00:36:01,992.2840664 --> 00:36:07,722.2840664
It's not something that I have a previous picture of because I've never been, so my mind.
309
00:36:08,442.2840664 --> 00:36:09,912.2840664
And my heart and my soul.
310
00:36:10,662.2840664 --> 00:36:11,322.2840664
Weren't.
311
00:36:12,252.2840664 --> 00:36:17,532.2840664
In a default way, excited to explore and make time for that.
312
00:36:18,42.2840664 --> 00:36:23,532.2840664
And now that I'm like looking at these air BMPs and like actually putting some time into.
313
00:36:24,402.2840664 --> 00:36:28,212.2840664
Exploring and doing research and whatever it's like, oh yeah.
314
00:36:28,992.2840664 --> 00:36:32,442.2840664
The world opens up literally and figuratively.
315
00:36:32,832.2840664 --> 00:36:33,192.2840664
Right.
316
00:36:33,822.2840664 --> 00:36:34,542.2840664
All of those.
317
00:36:35,22.2840664 --> 00:36:44,52.2840664
Amazing gorgeous places exist, even if we've never seen them, even if we've never put any effort into going there and the same as so for our life.
318
00:36:44,52.2840664 --> 00:36:47,382.2840664
And you don't have to travel to fucking Europe, which even though.
319
00:36:47,832.2840664 --> 00:36:58,842.2840664
I'm very looking forward to traveling to Europe, but you don't have to travel outside of anywhere, but your own backyard, your own home, your own mind, your own soul to be able to access this depth of openness.
320
00:36:59,352.2840664 --> 00:36:59,832.2840664
And.
321
00:36:59,832.2840664 --> 00:37:07,812.2840664
That is what makes it so magical with the photographs that we take, because it's like a little peep hole into our internal worlds.
322
00:37:07,812.2840664 --> 00:37:09,102.2840664
And through that.
323
00:37:09,582.2840664 --> 00:37:13,212.2840664
Through being more aware of our internal worlds, we're able to.
324
00:37:14,922.2840664 --> 00:37:18,162.2840664
Intentionally and consciously decide.
325
00:37:18,162.2840664 --> 00:37:20,682.2840664
To open more decide.
326
00:37:20,922.2840664 --> 00:37:23,292.2840664
Oh, I'm, I'm seeing this.
327
00:37:23,682.2840664 --> 00:37:25,152.2840664
Do I want this to be so.
328
00:37:26,852.2840664 --> 00:37:28,952.2840664
Breadcrumbs breadcrumbs breadcrumbs.
329
00:37:29,462.2840664 --> 00:37:31,592.2840664
Uh, flashlight in the dark forest.
330
00:37:32,42.2840664 --> 00:37:33,992.2840664
Can only aluminate so far ahead.
331
00:37:34,412.2840664 --> 00:37:37,322.2840664
And the only way you can get it to shine further.
332
00:37:37,742.2840664 --> 00:37:38,792.2840664
Is to take a step.
333
00:37:39,272.2840664 --> 00:37:41,492.2840664
Is to physically take that step.
334
00:37:41,942.2840664 --> 00:37:43,172.2840664
And then you can see a little more.
335
00:37:43,742.2840664 --> 00:37:46,262.2840664
And then take another step and see a little more, but.
336
00:37:47,342.2840664 --> 00:37:51,482.2840664
You're taking the steps based off of how far you can see.
337
00:37:51,482.2840664 --> 00:37:53,72.2840664
And it doesn't work like that.
338
00:37:56,282.2840664 --> 00:37:57,362.2840664
It doesn't work like that.
339
00:37:57,422.2840664 --> 00:38:00,572.2840664
If you're looking to be.
340
00:38:00,572.2840664 --> 00:38:04,622.2840664
Surprised and delighted by the miracles that life has to offer.
341
00:38:06,242.2840664 --> 00:38:07,772.2840664
It can work like that.
342
00:38:10,172.2840664 --> 00:38:14,432.2840664
But you will only ever get what you can see with your own two.
343
00:38:14,522.2840664 --> 00:38:15,2.2840664
Eyes.
344
00:38:16,772.2840664 --> 00:38:18,872.2840664
If that's the only thing you're willing to trust.
345
00:38:23,822.2840664 --> 00:38:25,142.2840664
So we come back full circle.
346
00:38:27,32.2840664 --> 00:38:30,242.2840664
What are the quotes that I put in? My sheet.
347
00:38:30,722.2840664 --> 00:38:31,712.2840664
Or my template.
348
00:38:33,632.2840664 --> 00:38:34,532.2840664
The two things.
349
00:38:34,532.2840664 --> 00:38:37,952.2840664
The things that I was very casually flipping through.
350
00:38:38,732.2840664 --> 00:38:43,472.2840664
Um, a photo book in SF MoMA, as I was waiting for my phone to charge.
351
00:38:44,12.2840664 --> 00:38:44,762.2840664
How they so.
352
00:38:46,472.2840664 --> 00:38:48,482.2840664
Kindly offer those in the museum.
353
00:38:49,892.2840664 --> 00:38:53,192.2840664
And it says when you learn to trust yourself, implicitly.
354
00:38:53,702.2840664 --> 00:38:56,462.2840664
You no longer need to prove something.
355
00:38:58,262.2840664 --> 00:38:59,162.2840664
Through your art.
356
00:38:59,942.2840664 --> 00:39:00,902.2840664
Through your life.
357
00:39:03,542.2840664 --> 00:39:05,282.2840664
You simply allow it to come.
358
00:39:05,672.2840664 --> 00:39:06,872.2840664
And to be, as it is.
359
00:39:07,592.2840664 --> 00:39:09,2.2840664
And this is when creating.
360
00:39:09,572.2840664 --> 00:39:13,202.2840664
Art and creating a life you love becomes effortless.
361
00:39:14,282.2840664 --> 00:39:15,212.2840664
It happens.
362
00:39:16,712.2840664 --> 00:39:17,702.2840664
It just grows.
363
00:39:22,502.2840664 --> 00:39:27,512.2840664
And then that other quote was if one reaches the point where understanding fails.
364
00:39:29,42.2840664 --> 00:39:30,782.2840664
This is not a tragedy.
365
00:39:31,832.2840664 --> 00:39:35,822.2840664
It is simply a reminder to stop thinking and start looking.
366
00:39:37,802.2840664 --> 00:39:40,292.2840664
Perhaps there is nothing to figure out after all.
367
00:39:40,982.2840664 --> 00:39:43,22.2840664
Perhaps we only need to wake up.
368
00:39:44,882.2840664 --> 00:39:45,992.2840664
Perhaps we.
369
00:39:47,132.2840664 --> 00:39:52,982.2840664
Just need to make that sliver of a nuance change of instead of looking at something.
370
00:39:54,32.2840664 --> 00:39:55,52.2840664
Letting yourself.
371
00:39:55,502.2840664 --> 00:39:56,432.2840664
See it.
372
00:39:59,762.2840664 --> 00:40:03,872.2840664
Look at the pictures that you put on your template, look at the pictures that you reflected on.
373
00:40:03,872.2840664 --> 00:40:08,642.2840664
And if you're, if you didn't do the template, Scroll through your phone right now.
374
00:40:09,872.2840664 --> 00:40:11,702.2840664
And let yourself stop.
375
00:40:12,722.2840664 --> 00:40:14,972.2840664
At an image that makes you want to stop.
376
00:40:16,22.2840664 --> 00:40:17,402.2840664
Exercise that muscle.
377
00:40:17,732.2840664 --> 00:40:20,402.2840664
Of listening to your instinct and listening to your impulse.
378
00:40:20,852.2840664 --> 00:40:25,172.2840664
And then when you look at that photo, Allow yourself to see.
379
00:40:25,802.2840664 --> 00:40:29,42.2840664
Beyond it to see deeper to go through it.
380
00:40:29,972.2840664 --> 00:40:36,992.2840664
To me like, okay, if I can get past, this is a picture of me and stop like critiquing, um, I don't like the angle.
381
00:40:37,562.2840664 --> 00:40:38,942.2840664
That's not very flattering on.
382
00:40:40,172.2840664 --> 00:40:41,852.2840664
And you go deeper into it.
383
00:40:42,32.2840664 --> 00:40:42,602.2840664
What.
384
00:40:43,532.2840664 --> 00:40:44,972.2840664
Is this picture telling you.
385
00:40:47,522.2840664 --> 00:40:54,602.2840664
What is this picture telling you about the experience of it being shot? What is this picture telling you about? The person who took it.
386
00:40:54,872.2840664 --> 00:40:58,142.2840664
The relationship there, that exact moment.
387
00:40:58,142.2840664 --> 00:41:04,832.2840664
What happened with the light? What happened with the composition? What happened? Like just let yourself swirl.
388
00:41:05,12.2840664 --> 00:41:08,582.2840664
We swirl over the most horrific shit.
389
00:41:09,2.2840664 --> 00:41:15,272.2840664
The rest of the day, can you let yourself swirl? Into something that is meaningful.
390
00:41:15,602.2840664 --> 00:41:19,502.2840664
And can be profoundly helpful and enriching in your life.
391
00:41:19,862.2840664 --> 00:41:21,812.2840664
Swirl around the pictures you're taking.
392
00:41:24,2.2840664 --> 00:41:26,312.2840664
Let yourself swirl around yourself.
393
00:41:27,842.2840664 --> 00:41:30,602.2840664
It's okay to give yourself that much attention.
394
00:41:31,382.2840664 --> 00:41:32,252.2840664
And regard.
395
00:41:33,962.2840664 --> 00:41:35,212.2840664
And time and.
396
00:41:36,772.2840664 --> 00:41:37,282.2840664
Love.
397
00:41:44,302.2840664 --> 00:41:45,532.2840664
It really is.
398
00:41:46,852.2840664 --> 00:41:52,192.2840664
Trippy how the longer we let ourselves sit with something in marinate.
399
00:41:53,362.2840664 --> 00:41:55,132.2840664
We can find the thread.
400
00:41:55,162.2840664 --> 00:41:56,992.2840664
We can connect the thread.
401
00:41:57,622.2840664 --> 00:41:59,302.2840664
In everything we're doing.
402
00:41:59,722.2840664 --> 00:42:01,312.2840664
And everything we're not doing.
403
00:42:01,612.2840664 --> 00:42:04,372.2840664
And we begin to let ourselves.
404
00:42:05,752.2840664 --> 00:42:08,542.2840664
Oh, wake into our own power and wisdom.
405
00:42:09,172.2840664 --> 00:42:09,832.2840664
In this life.
406
00:42:13,822.2840664 --> 00:42:15,892.2840664
And I will never stop talking about this.
407
00:42:21,922.2840664 --> 00:42:23,422.2840664
I hope that.
408
00:42:23,422.2840664 --> 00:42:31,602.2840664
If you are a part of, The sacred seeing community and did the nostalgia now template, I hope that you had, an eye-opening experience.
409
00:42:31,602.2840664 --> 00:42:33,312.2840664
I would love to hear.
410
00:42:33,742.2840664 --> 00:42:39,172.2840664
what came up for you? If you feel so inspired to share, feel free to send me a message on sub stack.
411
00:42:39,172.2840664 --> 00:42:41,502.2840664
You can private DM messages on sub stack.
412
00:42:41,812.2840664 --> 00:42:43,102.2840664
you could also find me on Instagram.
413
00:42:43,852.2840664 --> 00:42:54,372.2840664
Uh, and if you did not, if you're not part of the, member space in sub stack, I hope that this inspired you to take a moment and scroll through the last month of your life.
414
00:42:55,92.2840664 --> 00:42:56,352.2840664
And let yourself stop.
415
00:42:56,402.2840664 --> 00:42:57,372.2840664
at a few images.
416
00:42:58,62.2840664 --> 00:42:59,682.2840664
And if you feel compelled to journal.
417
00:43:00,72.2840664 --> 00:43:01,182.2840664
Without the template.
418
00:43:02,292.2840664 --> 00:43:05,82.2840664
Just go ahead and open a notebook and write what comes up.
419
00:43:05,292.2840664 --> 00:43:07,602.2840664
Let yourself completely stream of consciousness.
420
00:43:08,892.2840664 --> 00:43:09,522.2840664
Right.
421
00:43:09,612.2840664 --> 00:43:16,512.2840664
What happens for you when you let yourself sit? With the moments that you deemed important enough to photograph.
422
00:43:19,412.2840664 --> 00:43:20,942.2840664
We are alive.
423
00:43:27,62.2840664 --> 00:43:28,292.2840664
We are sitting here.
424
00:43:29,222.2840664 --> 00:43:33,2.2840664
With invisible oxygen going in and out of our body.
425
00:43:34,52.2840664 --> 00:43:36,932.2840664
Blood pumping through our veins that we can't see.
426
00:43:38,132.2840664 --> 00:43:40,652.2840664
It's all happening and we're alive.
427
00:43:41,822.2840664 --> 00:43:42,902.2840664
And it's America.
428
00:43:48,842.2840664 --> 00:43:51,32.2840664
What a shame it would be.
429
00:43:54,212.2840664 --> 00:43:57,482.2840664
To take that for granted what a shame it would be.
430
00:43:59,882.2840664 --> 00:44:05,372.2840664
To not take the miracle of that and just live.
431
00:44:05,912.2840664 --> 00:44:07,382.2840664
The way you want to live.
432
00:44:07,772.2840664 --> 00:44:09,212.2840664
That is what I want for you.
433
00:44:09,362.2840664 --> 00:44:10,682.2840664
Oh, this is what I want for me.
434
00:44:10,982.2840664 --> 00:44:15,182.2840664
And I don't mean, oh, construct these grand ambitions.
435
00:44:15,212.2840664 --> 00:44:21,872.2840664
And I mean, Just get quiet and listen to yourself.
436
00:44:22,472.2840664 --> 00:44:34,892.2840664
What do you really want? Do you want to move to a farm? Do you want to look for a remote job, but because you're so sick of commuting, do you want to.
437
00:44:36,482.2840664 --> 00:44:38,732.2840664
Speak more publicly.
438
00:44:40,532.2840664 --> 00:44:42,92.2840664
Do you want to.
439
00:44:46,292.2840664 --> 00:44:47,972.2840664
Homeschool your kids.
440
00:44:49,682.2840664 --> 00:44:51,302.2840664
Do you want to.
441
00:44:53,822.2840664 --> 00:44:55,712.2840664
Start taking cooking classes.
442
00:44:57,482.2840664 --> 00:45:03,812.2840664
What do you want to do? Do you want to go have a cup of tea? Start small.
443
00:45:04,952.2840664 --> 00:45:05,792.2840664
Build the muscle.
444
00:45:07,112.2840664 --> 00:45:12,902.2840664
What are you going to do right now? As you stop listening to this? I am going to.
445
00:45:15,122.2840664 --> 00:45:17,642.2840664
Get up and go hug my dog.
446
00:45:18,512.2840664 --> 00:45:20,672.2840664
Live with my dog on the ground.
447
00:45:20,822.2840664 --> 00:45:21,752.2840664
For a few minutes.
448
00:45:23,132.2840664 --> 00:45:31,472.2840664
What are you going to do? What will you do? With this one and only life.
449
00:45:36,62.2840664 --> 00:45:37,742.2840664
Sending you love and light.
450
00:45:37,772.2840664 --> 00:45:38,402.2840664
Enjoy.
451
00:45:39,62.2840664 --> 00:45:39,812.2840664
And power.
452
00:45:41,942.2840664 --> 00:45:42,512.2840664
See you next time.
453
00:45:43,549.1774904 --> 00:45:46,769.1774904
This has been an Awkward Sage Production.
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