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July 31, 2024
A Visual Love Letter, to you from you.
after last week's episode i realized i was having a hard time figuring out how to love myself without having it be in relation to being "useful" "helpful" "serving" "loving" -basically anything that was inherently linked to how much I can be for others.
didn't sit well with me so I made a self exploration template and helped myself remember how to access actual love for myself. free link below for you to take it and make it your own. (i suggest a cozy drink, some music, & bonus points for recording yourself doing the process for no other reason but to witness something ((you)) beautiful.)
please do your homework: your visual love letter to you template CLICK HERE.
Transcript
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I think about.
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How every.
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Picture.
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Is.
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Such.
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Not the point.
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And I know I've said that a million times, but.
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It's like the.
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Receipt.
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It's like the evidence.
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To rediscover y.
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And how.
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You have become who you are.
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It's actually pretty fascinating how.
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It's the stuff.
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That we don't necessarily remember.
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That is running our lives.
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We could really distract ourselves with.
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Trying.
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Too.
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Do whatever we can to make it last or remember not forget.
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But at the end of the day, The most of the things that make up who we are.
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Are these constellations.
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That are left in our physical body.
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These experiences.
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But our brain can't possibly remember all of it.
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All of the time.
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It's so strange.
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Help Me See is a podcast dedicated to the art of seeing.
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It's a space for the restless visionary with an insatiable desire to create the life and work you're meant for.
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My name is Bianca Lea Mora, and I'm a photographic artist, a mother, and a coach who's transformed my fear of loss into power, art, and philosophy.
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One of the scariest quotes I never want to say is, I wish I knew at the time, but I truly believe that we have the innate ability to bring our wise 2020 hindsight to our now.
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You can deeply experience your nostalgia now, while it's actually happening, with no regrets.
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All you have to do is see.
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In this show, we laugh, we cry, we get inspired, we overshare, we have life changing conversations around making meaning, self discovery, and shedding all the BS layers in order to reconnect to our own sacred vision.
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Seeing yourself is an essential key to living powerfully.
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You are the vessel, the lens that filters absolutely everything in your life.
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What are you filtering for? Whether it be conversations with fellow artists and visionaries, or my solo audio journal style introspective ramblings, each episode is meant to feel like an exhale, an unraveling of truth, a moment for you to be able to put your finger on something that you haven't been able to for far too long.
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Come exactly as you are.
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It's perfect.
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Honor your instincts.
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Let's uncover some of the most important things in our lives which all too often can slip out from our view.
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Let's commit to seeing and consciously creating what only you can in your one and only life.
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Let's dive in.
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Have they hello? And welcome to another episode of help me see.
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So today's episode.
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Is about.
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The dreaded self love topic.
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I have no choice.
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I actually have no choice in the matter, because.
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Last episode I had that, um, Mini breakdown, breakthrough, where I.
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Discover that my aversion.
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To sitting with photographs.
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Would mean that I would have to end up being confronted with.
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Loving myself.
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And so I spent the last week.
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Digging into that.
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Uh, I've been doing the.
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Artist's way I have had it for some time.
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And.
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It starting to pop up into my atmosphere.
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I have a few friends that are doing it and.
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I kept feeling compelled to do it, but also didn't really want to, and as I start the process, now, it is quite obvious to me why.
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I didn't want to do it.
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And it's all making sense.
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And I was going to do like the spiciest thing ever, which is read you a couple pages from my morning pages, which is like, not allow, you're not even supposed to reread your own morning pages, let alone share them, let alone broadcast them.
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But I was going to, because it felt like super important, but then as I'm sitting here, I am not.
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Fucking with you.
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I actually cannot read my handwriting.
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Like it is.
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Absolutely atrocious.
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Like I should have, uh, a doctorate degree with the style of writing.
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Um, But the, just the, just.
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That I wanted to get across that I uncovered.
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Was.
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My intolerance for.
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Even journaling.
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Oh, right.
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I'm supposed to write three pages every morning and it feels like torture.
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I'm like, okay.
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All right.
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I know.
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No, no, no, no.
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Like, what is it? Why can't I just sit here and write more? Uh, you know, the subconscious like stream of consciousness, as soon as you wake up writing.
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And.
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I kind of landed in the spot of where it felt like, oh, This isn't quote unquote, getting anything done.
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This isn't really serving anyone.
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This isn't checking something off.
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This is not getting ahead of my day.
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This is just for me.
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This is just me.
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Giving space.
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And validation listening to and witnessing myself.
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In written form.
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So.
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I started thinking about like, what is even like, how do I even love myself? Like, what do I love about myself? And anything that I was thinking about.
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Was completely linked to.
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Someone else.
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Or a relationship or being of service.
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And I'm not saying that in this like falsely humble way, I'm saying that in a.
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Honest, like everything I thought of, I was like, wait a minute.
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But that.
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Is something that is for other people.
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Oh, yeah.
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Okay.
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I do that.
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So that I can bababa other people.
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And then, so that, you know, I can serve in this way or, um, I don't, it was just this weird moment where I just felt like, oh, Everything I'm thinking about is in relationship to other people.
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Um, Like if I ask you right now, What do you.
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Love about yourself.
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What comes up.
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Like for instance, I think about like, oh, caring, loyal.
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It's like for other people.
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Four.
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Animals loyal for other people, like w what's coming up that is not linked to someone.
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Else.
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And I'm not saying it's wrong, but I was just felt like weird about it.
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I'm like something tells me this is not the point of this.
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Like, this is not.
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Where I personally want to.
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Find compassion and love for myself is in how well I deem that I serve other people.
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So.
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I was having a really hard time getting to it like thought wise and cognitively.
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So I decided to, um, not be a hypocrite and look to my pictures.
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So this month in nostalgia now at well, every month they make a template and I give some prompts and you're supposed to look at the last month of your.
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Life and photos and just fill in the couple of slots.
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There are four photographs according to the prompt.
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And so I'm going to share that template.
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In the show notes, um, free for everyone to download and do this activity for yourself.
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I would really love.
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Uh, if you took the time to do this and really make it like inactivity for like a yummy thing, like whether you have a coffee or a tea or a glass of wine, um, with the lights just right.
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Um, snuggled up in your, on your couch or in your chair, uh, play some music and do this.
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I personally can't play music with words because I can't hear myself when I'm listening to someone else's words, but.
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Um, maybe some instrumentals, whatever.
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Um, I'll explain it to you right now.
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It says, um, Write yourself a love letter in the language of your own pictures.
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Love yourself in a visual language of you.
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Avoid pictures that are accomplishments.
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Slash helping slash serving others.
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Find loving yourself outside of what you can do or be for other people.
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And so there are a handful of slots for you.
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I pick pictures and obviously, um, it doesn't have to be a metaphorical, but like it's.
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I don't know how often a literal photograph will come across.
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Um, that feels right.
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Uh, the pictures that I chose, um, Signaled something in me.
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So, um, there's that, and then the second page is pick the most important image that can say everything.
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Sit with it for an uncomfortable amount of time.
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Um, so of those images, like pick one, That you're like, this is, you know, queen B, like this is.
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The the one picture.
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That I would equate to loving myself.
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And sit with it.
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Just stare at it.
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For an uncomfortable amount of time.
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I don't know what that is.
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I mean, I feel like it's uncomfortable for a minute, but I'd say five times that five minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes.
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And then.
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Um, the last page, there's a journal prompt and it says, close your eyes and breathe.
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Look at the pictures.
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Like look at the pictures you chose.
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How does it feel? What did you quote unquote, say.
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What does it mean? Is it hard? Y.
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And why that one image.
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And it says, print this month's page and look at it as many times as you need.
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Um, So.
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I'm just going to walk you through my experience of it because.
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It's not that I'm, I'm not trying to convince you to do anything like.
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Take what you want.
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Leave what you don't.
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But I am.
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A person who identifies with.
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Assuming that I get the point, like I get the point of this.
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It's like I have done so much glazing when it comes to myself.
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And I put so much effort and thought into.
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With something that I'm doing for someone else.
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And I totally glaze past myself all the time.
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And.
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When I.
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Was stopping and looking at the photographs and looking at each one and writing about it.
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It's exactly.
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It's exactly what I needed from it.
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Like everything just came because everything is there.
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And everything is there.
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In the evidence of like the photographs I've already taken.
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It's all here.
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It's all here.
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It already happened.
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Those layers that don't.
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Explain themselves in the moment.
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It's just this.
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Unsayable thing that occurs.
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In this journaling exercise, it really felt like a massaging of that, of like a.
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I'm attempting to say it and I'm bringing it more to life.
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That way.
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So I'm just going to read what I wrote.
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It is not anything.
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Edited or it's literally stream of consciousness from that journal prompt.
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Uh, and inspired by the images that I chose.
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TIS validated strong wise, knowing present peace, resilient, empowered.
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I always touched the evidence.
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I see it, it follows me.
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I am it.
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Forever.
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I am the evidence.
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I don't have to look for it.
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I am at.
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I just have the superpower of recognizing it outside of myself everywhere.
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I weave threads and the threads come to life.
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I have this eighth sense.
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I know, I feel it is.
210
00:14:31,133.33333333 --> 00:14:31,733.33333333
I am.
211
00:14:31,823.33333333 --> 00:14:34,853.33333333
Of course the overlap in synchronicities are always happening.
212
00:14:35,363.33333333 --> 00:14:36,263.33333333
I manifest it.
213
00:14:36,983.33333333 --> 00:14:37,943.33333333
I am one with it.
214
00:14:38,393.33333333 --> 00:14:39,713.33333333
It is not outside of me.
215
00:14:40,283.33333333 --> 00:14:40,943.33333333
It is me.
216
00:14:42,263.33333333 --> 00:14:43,373.33333333
I break the manual.
217
00:14:44,603.33333333 --> 00:14:46,403.33333333
I am the manual in real time.
218
00:14:46,733.33333333 --> 00:14:49,853.33333333
In every breath I can imperfectly underline that.
219
00:14:50,303.33333333 --> 00:14:51,473.33333333
And it is perfect.
220
00:14:52,103.33333333 --> 00:14:54,293.33333333
I also do not need to acquire it.
221
00:14:54,413.33333333 --> 00:14:56,843.33333333
I don't have that book, but I am that book.
222
00:14:57,233.33333333 --> 00:14:58,163.33333333
I am infinite.
223
00:14:58,193.33333333 --> 00:14:59,813.33333333
My braking is pure light.
224
00:15:01,193.33333333 --> 00:15:06,323.33333333
And unsearchable distance and unquenchable thirst, but I can allow myself to rest in that.
225
00:15:06,773.33333333 --> 00:15:07,703.33333333
And that is beautiful.
226
00:15:08,243.33333333 --> 00:15:14,183.33333333
And unsearchable distance doesn't equal unforgiving efforting, it's embodying and remembering.
227
00:15:14,243.33333333 --> 00:15:16,673.33333333
And I remember all the time in a million ways.
228
00:15:18,983.33333333 --> 00:15:20,813.33333333
I sit in the caves of banality.
229
00:15:21,173.33333333 --> 00:15:22,823.33333333
I take the clothes off the hangers.
230
00:15:22,913.33333333 --> 00:15:27,323.33333333
I unpack and I sit in the mess and love the mess, and then let the mess dissolve.
231
00:15:28,283.33333333 --> 00:15:33,53.33333333
I sit in caves with windows because I always see the light, but the dark feels so important.
232
00:15:33,83.33333333 --> 00:15:34,223.33333333
I can be with both.
233
00:15:36,683.33333333 --> 00:15:40,703.33333333
I reach and I reach and I reach, and sometimes I remember that I don't have to reach.
234
00:15:42,713.33333333 --> 00:15:44,903.33333333
I just have to raise my hand towards the sky.
235
00:15:45,353.33333333 --> 00:15:46,523.33333333
So I can see the light.
236
00:15:47,273.33333333 --> 00:15:49,823.33333333
Move in and around my presence in the space.
237
00:15:52,413.33333333 --> 00:15:56,343.33333333
Even when I'm at my most frayed and my most ungrounded and my least present.
238
00:15:56,643.33333333 --> 00:15:57,903.33333333
And least centered.
239
00:15:58,23.33333333 --> 00:15:59,433.33333333
I always see.
240
00:16:00,303.33333333 --> 00:16:01,743.33333333
I unconditionally.
241
00:16:01,743.33333333 --> 00:16:03,603.33333333
I notice and see.
242
00:16:04,533.33333333 --> 00:16:06,813.33333333
I am always exactly what I need to be.
243
00:16:09,243.33333333 --> 00:16:14,613.33333333
It's hard to break past the initial impulse to look for my love in what I can be and do for others.
244
00:16:14,943.33333333 --> 00:16:18,273.33333333
But once you name it and break past that filter, it's so clear.
245
00:16:18,363.33333333 --> 00:16:19,353.33333333
It's so easy.
246
00:16:20,253.33333333 --> 00:16:21,453.33333333
I love myself.
247
00:16:21,873.33333333 --> 00:16:23,733.33333333
There's so many reasons to love myself.
248
00:16:23,733.33333333 --> 00:16:27,63.33333333
And I need no reason to love myself, just as I say to my children.
249
00:16:27,483.33333333 --> 00:16:30,123.33333333
For every reason for no reason beyond reason.
250
00:16:32,763.33333333 --> 00:16:34,623.33333333
And why this particular image.
251
00:16:36,333.33333333 --> 00:16:40,53.3333333
I love how I always look into the light, even though it burns my eyes.
252
00:16:41,103.3333333 --> 00:16:45,213.3333333
My lines are the evidence of not just my seeing, but my being.
253
00:16:45,693.3333333 --> 00:16:46,803.3333333
In everything I see.
254
00:16:48,453.3333333 --> 00:16:57,3.3333333
I took the photo because even though I struggled to get past that first layer, My subconscious, my impulse, always an exactly knows.
255
00:16:57,843.3333333 --> 00:16:58,893.3333333
This is evidence.
256
00:16:58,983.3333333 --> 00:17:00,693.3333333
I am pure love and pure light.
257
00:17:03,753.3333333 --> 00:17:05,883.3333333
So I had done that.
258
00:17:07,623.3333333 --> 00:17:10,53.3333333
Oh, and I had also, oh, I really made this an experience.
259
00:17:10,83.3333333 --> 00:17:17,523.3333333
I put photo booth on recording video behind the screen, like of my Canva, that I was doing that in.
260
00:17:18,63.3333333 --> 00:17:21,183.3333333
And I recorded myself and, you know, forget it was there.
261
00:17:22,173.3333333 --> 00:17:24,903.3333333
And I like cried on and off through writing this.
262
00:17:25,653.3333333 --> 00:17:27,813.3333333
And you know that with the.
263
00:17:28,563.3333333 --> 00:17:29,553.3333333
Instrumental music.
264
00:17:29,553.3333333 --> 00:17:34,443.3333333
It was very, quite dramatic, but also in all seriousness, super fucking important.
265
00:17:35,13.3333333 --> 00:17:37,593.3333333
Because very, very important.
266
00:17:37,923.3333333 --> 00:17:41,733.3333333
Um, I know it might be hard to really understand what's going on.
267
00:17:41,823.3333333 --> 00:17:44,373.3333333
Um, Um, with the writing because it's in reference to.
268
00:17:45,3.3333333 --> 00:17:47,643.3333333
Um, pictures that I chose that you're not seeing right now.
269
00:17:47,673.3333333 --> 00:17:50,523.3333333
And, um, just inside references.
270
00:17:50,673.3333333 --> 00:17:53,763.3333333
You know, like inside jokes, but inside for references for myself.
271
00:17:54,363.3333333 --> 00:17:56,553.3333333
Uh, but that's the point and.
272
00:18:03,993.3333333 --> 00:18:06,443.3333333
I think it's extremely important.
273
00:18:08,663.3333333 --> 00:18:12,953.3333333
T put the care and time and space and attention.
274
00:18:15,323.3333333 --> 00:18:16,523.3333333
Into yourself.
275
00:18:19,793.3333333 --> 00:18:21,413.3333333
In the same way.
276
00:18:21,953.3333333 --> 00:18:23,423.3333333
That you would do it for others.
277
00:18:23,963.3333333 --> 00:18:24,833.3333333
Without a blink.
278
00:18:29,933.3333333 --> 00:18:32,93.3333333
And in reference to that last.
279
00:18:33,173.3333333 --> 00:18:36,143.3333333
Paragraph, it's an image I took of.
280
00:18:37,493.3333333 --> 00:18:40,73.3333333
Um, myself, I was crying and.
281
00:18:40,943.3333333 --> 00:18:42,23.3333333
Sometimes.
282
00:18:43,553.3333333 --> 00:18:50,663.3333333
In moments like that, I will just find myself absentmindedly, grabbing my phone, taking a selfie and continuing on.
283
00:18:51,623.3333333 --> 00:18:52,313.3333333
And.
284
00:18:54,803.3333333 --> 00:18:56,123.3333333
You know, it's funny that.
285
00:18:57,923.3333333 --> 00:19:01,313.3333333
So many I've seen online people criticizing.
286
00:19:01,943.3333333 --> 00:19:12,773.3333333
People for videotaping themselves cry or taking pictures of them crying and dis you know, discrediting the validity of the emotion or the experience because they did that.
287
00:19:14,793.3333333 --> 00:19:15,933.3333333
It feels like.
288
00:19:18,543.3333333 --> 00:19:19,893.3333333
Shaming that.
289
00:19:21,723.3333333 --> 00:19:22,203.3333333
Is.
290
00:19:23,613.3333333 --> 00:19:26,553.3333333
And attempted to like mute or dull or.
291
00:19:26,553.3333333 --> 00:19:29,13.3333333
Minimize a person that's not afraid.
292
00:19:29,913.3333333 --> 00:19:30,753.3333333
Too.
293
00:19:33,213.3333333 --> 00:19:39,453.3333333
Really sink in and immerse themselves in that emotional state and share it with others.
294
00:19:41,313.3333333 --> 00:19:42,93.3333333
And I don't.
295
00:19:43,593.3333333 --> 00:19:50,103.3333333
No, Y I get that impulse to take the photos, but I blindly follow that impulse.
296
00:19:51,543.3333333 --> 00:19:55,953.3333333
It's been my life's work to let myself blindly follow my impulse to take photos.
297
00:19:56,613.3333333 --> 00:19:59,883.3333333
And there are plenty of times where I take photos that I never want to look at those photos again.
298
00:20:00,813.3333333 --> 00:20:01,593.3333333
And I never do.
299
00:20:03,243.3333333 --> 00:20:09,753.3333333
Um, But in a moment like this.
300
00:20:12,633.3333333 --> 00:20:16,53.3333333
Where I just so happen to have taken a photo this past month.
301
00:20:16,803.3333333 --> 00:20:19,203.3333333
Because I was having such a fricking.
302
00:20:20,133.3333333 --> 00:20:21,903.3333333
Experience such a moment.
303
00:20:22,563.3333333 --> 00:20:24,213.3333333
And I'm looking at it and.
304
00:20:25,983.3333333 --> 00:20:27,93.3333333
There's so much about it.
305
00:20:27,723.3333333 --> 00:20:29,283.3333333
That I needed to see.
306
00:20:29,733.3333333 --> 00:20:30,903.3333333
And I needed to write about.
307
00:20:31,833.3333333 --> 00:20:35,523.3333333
Like the lines I have on my forehead that drive me fucking crazy.
308
00:20:37,653.3333333 --> 00:20:40,23.3333333
Like all of a sudden those became.
309
00:20:43,683.3333333 --> 00:20:44,433.3333333
Important.
310
00:20:45,993.3333333 --> 00:20:47,703.3333333
And of course I have them.
311
00:20:51,243.3333333 --> 00:20:55,383.3333333
Because they're evidence of my being in my experience and not just.
312
00:20:56,823.3333333 --> 00:20:59,223.3333333
Seeing or looking blankly.
313
00:20:59,943.3333333 --> 00:21:01,383.3333333
It's my contorted face.
314
00:21:01,773.3333333 --> 00:21:05,103.3333333
Time after time after time that's made those lines.
315
00:21:09,63.3333333 --> 00:21:16,803.3333333
Whenever I cry sometimes I'll try to stop myself by looking up into the light, to like air out the bottoms of my eyes.
316
00:21:18,123.3333333 --> 00:21:18,633.3333333
And.
317
00:21:19,623.3333333 --> 00:21:22,743.3333333
In that moment, it was just so easy to say.
318
00:21:23,823.3333333 --> 00:21:27,633.3333333
I always look into the light, even though it burns my eyes.
319
00:21:31,203.3333333 --> 00:21:31,743.3333333
I don't know.
320
00:21:31,953.3333333 --> 00:21:37,803.3333333
I feel like I feel myself being like, oh, this is just so corny to explain it in this way.
321
00:21:38,223.3333333 --> 00:21:41,913.3333333
Or like it's so literal and on the nose and all, but also.
322
00:21:43,413.3333333 --> 00:21:45,243.3333333
Can we stop being too cool.
323
00:21:45,753.3333333 --> 00:21:48,33.3333333
To just be straightforward and say the fucking thing.
324
00:21:49,863.3333333 --> 00:21:50,313.3333333
I mean.
325
00:21:53,763.3333333 --> 00:21:55,173.3333333
Really helped me.
326
00:21:57,153.3333333 --> 00:22:00,393.3333333
To be like, Oh, I know why those lines are there.
327
00:22:01,323.3333333 --> 00:22:03,213.3333333
I respect why those lines are there.
328
00:22:05,853.3333333 --> 00:22:07,833.3333333
I know my eyes are sensitive and they hurt.
329
00:22:09,183.3333333 --> 00:22:11,793.3333333
I have always look into the light anyway.
330
00:22:16,743.3333333 --> 00:22:18,783.3333333
And I know that I'm sensitive and I hurt.
331
00:22:19,833.3333333 --> 00:22:21,723.3333333
But I always look into the light anyway.
332
00:22:27,123.3333333 --> 00:22:31,503.3333333
Just like everyone wants to talk about self care, but it's like a very specific kind of self care.
333
00:22:32,223.3333333 --> 00:22:32,823.3333333
It's like the.
334
00:22:34,983.3333333 --> 00:22:36,333.3333333
The self care that's.
335
00:22:39,513.3333333 --> 00:22:41,703.3333333
No taking care of your body.
336
00:22:42,903.3333333 --> 00:22:43,923.3333333
Where your skin.
337
00:22:45,753.3333333 --> 00:22:49,293.3333333
But it's not, I don't really hear people.
338
00:22:50,523.3333333 --> 00:22:52,473.3333333
Boldly loving themselves.
339
00:22:53,283.3333333 --> 00:22:57,333.3333333
And I don't know that I'm quite ready to boldly love myself either.
340
00:23:00,453.3333333 --> 00:23:02,193.3333333
But this was a hell of a start.
341
00:23:03,503.3333333 --> 00:23:04,373.3333333
It almost feels like.
342
00:23:05,393.3333333 --> 00:23:09,533.3333333
Wellness is like, Self self care.
343
00:23:09,953.3333333 --> 00:23:12,923.3333333
Is it, the parallel that I draw to it is.
344
00:23:14,153.3333333 --> 00:23:14,543.3333333
The.
345
00:23:15,593.3333333 --> 00:23:16,733.3333333
No makeup makeup.
346
00:23:16,733.3333333 --> 00:23:20,663.3333333
Look, it's like the makeup and it's like a lot of makeup required to do the makeup.
347
00:23:20,753.3333333 --> 00:23:21,263.3333333
No makeup.
348
00:23:21,293.3333333 --> 00:23:21,683.3333333
Look.
349
00:23:23,153.3333333 --> 00:23:23,933.3333333
I'm not judging.
350
00:23:24,23.3333333 --> 00:23:25,493.3333333
I love it as well.
351
00:23:26,123.3333333 --> 00:23:28,223.3333333
I'm just saying, that's what it feels like.
352
00:23:28,223.3333333 --> 00:23:29,33.3333333
It feels like.
353
00:23:32,693.3333333 --> 00:23:34,313.3333333
Love yourself in this way.
354
00:23:36,863.3333333 --> 00:23:37,313.3333333
I don't know.
355
00:23:38,63.3333333 --> 00:23:40,253.3333333
It's probably just all my projections and bullshit.
356
00:23:42,53.3333333 --> 00:23:45,23.3333333
You could be sitting here being like, um, I don't even know what you're talking about.
357
00:23:51,533.3333333 --> 00:23:56,153.3333333
It just felt very important for me to bring this up and make it a thing.
358
00:23:57,353.3333333 --> 00:24:01,463.3333333
Make it a thing, make it a episode on this podcast because.
359
00:24:03,323.3333333 --> 00:24:04,433.3333333
Help me see.
360
00:24:05,3.3333333 --> 00:24:06,773.3333333
Is a lot about.
361
00:24:07,373.3333333 --> 00:24:17,993.3333333
Seeing and relating to the world and, um, Your work in it and your art and your, the way you're living your life and yes, being, but.
362
00:24:19,73.3333333 --> 00:24:25,133.3333333
I myself as the literal, like voice behind this podcast, feel like.
363
00:24:30,203.3333333 --> 00:24:31,583.3333333
The one thing.
364
00:24:34,163.3333333 --> 00:24:39,203.3333333
I actually haven't really, really done is.
365
00:24:39,803.3333333 --> 00:24:42,203.3333333
Honestly sat with.
366
00:24:43,673.3333333 --> 00:24:46,403.3333333
Loving myself and tolerating that.
367
00:24:48,533.3333333 --> 00:24:49,463.3333333
I've glazed.
368
00:24:51,113.3333333 --> 00:25:01,553.3333333
What have you glazed over? Is there something that comes to mind? Immediately, like what have you glazed over that? If you know.
369
00:25:02,393.3333333 --> 00:25:03,893.3333333
You know, would be the thing.
370
00:25:04,523.3333333 --> 00:25:09,203.3333333
If you just gave it more attention, like the thing to help ease all other things.
371
00:25:12,693.3333333 --> 00:25:13,863.3333333
How can we find.
372
00:25:15,153.3333333 --> 00:25:16,953.3333333
What's the main thing.
373
00:25:17,403.3333333 --> 00:25:19,743.3333333
The root, not just the symptom.
374
00:25:23,163.3333333 --> 00:25:23,913.3333333
And I don't know.
375
00:25:23,913.3333333 --> 00:25:26,313.3333333
I mean, who knows what will come of this, but.
376
00:25:27,423.3333333 --> 00:25:32,853.3333333
I do definitely know that there was a sticking point when I got to that sentence where.
377
00:25:33,603.3333333 --> 00:25:37,23.3333333
I realized that sitting still with necessitate.
378
00:25:38,253.3333333 --> 00:25:38,553.3333333
Like.
379
00:25:39,483.3333333 --> 00:25:41,133.3333333
Looking myself in the eye.
380
00:25:41,553.3333333 --> 00:25:42,153.3333333
In that way.
381
00:25:43,983.3333333 --> 00:25:46,743.3333333
And so for this last week, that's what I've sat with.
382
00:25:46,953.3333333 --> 00:25:47,553.3333333
And.
383
00:25:48,393.3333333 --> 00:25:52,83.3333333
Um, I'm going to put this link to this template in the show notes.
384
00:25:52,113.3333333 --> 00:25:57,213.3333333
I hope that you, um, take it and use it as soon as you, when you click it, you don't have to do anything else.
385
00:25:57,243.3333333 --> 00:25:58,203.3333333
It'll make a copy.
386
00:25:58,683.3333333 --> 00:26:01,473.3333333
Um, for you to just plug and play.
387
00:26:01,503.3333333 --> 00:26:02,853.3333333
I usually go into my.
388
00:26:03,543.3333333 --> 00:26:10,773.3333333
Uh, photo scroll on my phone and I will, um, Send myself a handful of photos.
389
00:26:11,163.3333333 --> 00:26:16,233.3333333
I upload it to Canva and then I'll drag and drop, uh, into the template as, as needed.
390
00:26:17,703.3333333 --> 00:26:22,203.3333333
Um, I would love to hear your experience.
391
00:26:23,463.3333333 --> 00:26:24,393.3333333
If you do.
392
00:26:24,993.3333333 --> 00:26:27,753.3333333
Uh, fill out the template or really, really, really would.
393
00:26:28,263.3333333 --> 00:26:31,983.3333333
Uh, you will see mine when you download the template.
394
00:26:33,243.3333333 --> 00:26:34,233.3333333
And.
395
00:26:36,153.3333333 --> 00:26:37,23.3333333
Yeah, I.
396
00:26:39,903.3333333 --> 00:26:40,533.3333333
I don't know.
397
00:26:42,183.3333333 --> 00:26:43,533.3333333
I'm doing this with you.
398
00:26:45,263.3333333 --> 00:26:46,493.3333333
Give yourself.
399
00:26:47,663.3333333 --> 00:26:48,863.3333333
Time and space.
400
00:26:50,153.3333333 --> 00:26:51,863.3333333
And I know, oh yes.
401
00:26:51,953.3333333 --> 00:26:57,143.3333333
Some of us struggle more than others with finding time and finding space.
402
00:26:57,623.3333333 --> 00:27:03,443.3333333
But if we're honest with ourselves, There is time.
403
00:27:04,313.3333333 --> 00:27:06,563.3333333
To sit and be with ourselves.
404
00:27:09,293.3333333 --> 00:27:10,433.3333333
There is time.
405
00:27:15,293.3333333 --> 00:27:15,923.3333333
To stop.
406
00:27:16,973.3333333 --> 00:27:17,903.3333333
Consuming.
407
00:27:18,903.3333333 --> 00:27:19,473.3333333
Peoples.
408
00:27:20,253.3333333 --> 00:27:20,913.3333333
Thoughts.
409
00:27:21,303.3333333 --> 00:27:21,843.3333333
And.
410
00:27:23,673.3333333 --> 00:27:24,753.3333333
Opinions.
411
00:27:26,613.3333333 --> 00:27:27,723.3333333
There is time.
412
00:27:29,913.3333333 --> 00:27:31,353.3333333
To sit with yourself.
413
00:27:49,483.3333333 --> 00:27:51,193.3333333
Okay, I'm coming back.
414
00:27:51,493.3333333 --> 00:27:56,923.3333333
This episode was supposed to be done, but, uh, I had cut it off because I had to go.
415
00:27:57,253.3333333 --> 00:28:00,673.3333333
Drop off, um, the babysitter back home.
416
00:28:01,273.3333333 --> 00:28:02,83.3333333
And.
417
00:28:03,343.3333333 --> 00:28:03,973.3333333
I was like, yeah.
418
00:28:04,393.3333333 --> 00:28:05,203.3333333
That's enough.
419
00:28:06,253.3333333 --> 00:28:06,823.3333333
That's enough.
420
00:28:08,503.3333333 --> 00:28:09,223.3333333
But.
421
00:28:09,853.3333333 --> 00:28:11,923.3333333
Since I stopped recording.
422
00:28:13,123.3333333 --> 00:28:14,953.3333333
I wanted to share something that came up.
423
00:28:15,133.3333333 --> 00:28:17,653.3333333
Uh, I mentioned before that I'm doing the artist way.
424
00:28:18,313.3333333 --> 00:28:22,333.3333333
And one of the prompts that I was having to write.
425
00:28:22,903.3333333 --> 00:28:23,563.3333333
Was.
426
00:28:24,193.3333333 --> 00:28:29,863.3333333
Uh, I had to pretend to be my 80 year old self and write a letter to my self now.
427
00:28:32,203.3333333 --> 00:28:32,563.3333333
Sorry.
428
00:28:32,593.3333333 --> 00:28:33,403.3333333
Excuse me.
429
00:28:33,613.3333333 --> 00:28:34,813.3333333
It's 10 30 at night.
430
00:28:34,903.3333333 --> 00:28:36,223.3333333
This is like dumb.
431
00:28:36,223.3333333 --> 00:28:38,563.3333333
It's really not even that like groundbreaking, but.
432
00:28:39,943.3333333 --> 00:28:45,523.3333333
It's just like P S I just want to share this.
433
00:28:46,123.3333333 --> 00:28:47,473.3333333
It's like the text you.
434
00:28:48,13.3333333 --> 00:28:50,173.3333333
Share with your friend after you get off the phone with her.
435
00:28:50,173.3333333 --> 00:28:52,723.3333333
And you're like, I didn't mention this, but I just want to say.
436
00:28:52,813.3333333 --> 00:28:57,973.3333333
Um, Aye.
437
00:28:59,143.3333333 --> 00:28:59,653.3333333
So I wrote.
438
00:29:00,103.3333333 --> 00:29:02,83.3333333
I wrote the letter and.
439
00:29:05,293.3333333 --> 00:29:07,423.3333333
And I came back and looked at the template again.
440
00:29:07,873.3333333 --> 00:29:10,393.3333333
Uh, The one of the portraits.
441
00:29:10,663.3333333 --> 00:29:13,153.3333333
The main self portrait by.
442
00:29:13,813.3333333 --> 00:29:15,343.3333333
Have in the template.
443
00:29:16,513.3333333 --> 00:29:22,813.3333333
And I was like, oh, Oh, poor sweet girl.
444
00:29:27,343.3333333 --> 00:29:30,43.3333333
Like literally thinking that.
445
00:29:30,583.3333333 --> 00:29:33,163.3333333
About myself because.
446
00:29:34,723.3333333 --> 00:29:35,923.3333333
I was prompted.
447
00:29:36,703.3333333 --> 00:29:41,293.3333333
Do you put myself in that position where I'm like really imagining myself as an 80 year old.
448
00:29:42,133.3333333 --> 00:29:50,713.3333333
Um, And I do imagine that I'll be so, so kind, but also won't give a fuck by that point.
449
00:29:53,983.3333333 --> 00:29:56,593.3333333
Um, But anyway.
450
00:29:57,223.3333333 --> 00:29:58,603.3333333
You know, I've wrote the letter.
451
00:29:59,173.3333333 --> 00:30:01,543.3333333
And it was such a weird, interesting experience.
452
00:30:01,543.3333333 --> 00:30:02,83.3333333
And then.
453
00:30:03,343.3333333 --> 00:30:06,613.3333333
I came back and I looked at that photo of myself.
454
00:30:07,33.3333333 --> 00:30:07,693.3333333
From a template.
455
00:30:10,423.3333333 --> 00:30:10,963.3333333
And.
456
00:30:12,463.3333333 --> 00:30:13,843.3333333
I saw differently again.
457
00:30:17,683.3333333 --> 00:30:22,813.3333333
This is the importance and the gift of reflecting.
458
00:30:23,653.3333333 --> 00:30:25,723.3333333
With yourself in this way.
459
00:30:27,13.3333333 --> 00:30:28,573.3333333
Um, we always know that.
460
00:30:29,173.3333333 --> 00:30:35,923.3333333
Every time we look at a picture, although it's staying the same quote, unquote, our eyes are different.
461
00:30:35,983.3333333 --> 00:30:37,903.3333333
Every single time we look at it.
462
00:30:41,203.3333333 --> 00:30:42,613.3333333
Ourselves are different.
463
00:30:42,613.3333333 --> 00:30:43,603.3333333
We are different people.
464
00:30:43,603.3333333 --> 00:30:44,743.3333333
Every time we look at it.
465
00:30:52,813.3333333 --> 00:30:54,193.3333333
And I think that.
466
00:30:55,333.3333333 --> 00:30:56,833.3333333
It could be asking.
467
00:30:57,73.3333333 --> 00:31:02,23.3333333
It probably is asking too much of ourselves to do something like this.
468
00:31:02,743.3333333 --> 00:31:07,393.3333333
And I'll be like, oh, all of a sudden, I just love myself skipping through a field.
469
00:31:09,793.3333333 --> 00:31:14,413.3333333
Or just feel like you're completely in a different life.
470
00:31:14,443.3333333 --> 00:31:22,663.3333333
And all of a sudden everything is so effortless because you have your own back and you really, really mean it this time.
471
00:31:22,663.3333333 --> 00:31:22,843.3333333
And.
472
00:31:25,453.3333333 --> 00:31:26,533.3333333
But really.
473
00:31:28,513.3333333 --> 00:31:31,93.3333333
I think that the biggest.
474
00:31:32,173.3333333 --> 00:31:36,73.3333333
Thing you could do is have, allow yourself to get that moment of.
475
00:31:37,573.3333333 --> 00:31:40,303.3333333
Oh, For yourself.
476
00:31:41,113.3333333 --> 00:31:48,763.3333333
I think not pitying yourself, but like, Just softening with yourself in that way.
477
00:31:48,943.3333333 --> 00:31:50,203.3333333
Whichever way.
478
00:31:50,983.3333333 --> 00:31:52,123.3333333
You can get there.
479
00:31:54,313.3333333 --> 00:31:55,573.3333333
In the same way.
480
00:31:57,823.3333333 --> 00:32:02,53.3333333
We could instantly break down in tears, seeing a random picture.
481
00:32:02,563.3333333 --> 00:32:05,623.3333333
Our kid or our friend took of us when we weren't looking.
482
00:32:05,923.3333333 --> 00:32:08,593.3333333
Because inherently, when you look at that, you just think about.
483
00:32:09,13.3333333 --> 00:32:13,63.3333333
Their seat and the FA their seat of viewing us and.
484
00:32:14,83.3333333 --> 00:32:16,663.3333333
And how they took that picture because love.
485
00:32:17,173.3333333 --> 00:32:25,903.3333333
Or because of whatever, you know, Allow yourself to scooch over in your seat of consciousness and.
486
00:32:27,943.3333333 --> 00:32:29,893.3333333
Look at the stuff that you chose.
487
00:32:30,763.3333333 --> 00:32:37,63.3333333
If you decide to do this template, and if not, just look at the pictures that you've taken on your photo scroll.
488
00:32:37,633.3333333 --> 00:32:38,863.3333333
Just have your everyday life.
489
00:32:40,543.3333333 --> 00:32:43,333.3333333
Just go, huh? Look at that.
490
00:32:47,143.3333333 --> 00:32:48,403.3333333
Look at all this.
491
00:32:52,433.3333333 --> 00:32:54,113.3333333
Whereas listening to an audio book and.
492
00:32:54,983.3333333 --> 00:32:57,953.3333333
Um, Well, they had mentioned the innate.
493
00:33:00,383.3333333 --> 00:33:08,3.3333333
Striving for permanence in whatever way, grappling with wanting to do something that's left behind or.
494
00:33:08,783.3333333 --> 00:33:12,443.3333333
Romanticizing this idea of like leaving.
495
00:33:12,953.3333333 --> 00:33:14,153.3333333
Something of us.
496
00:33:14,423.3333333 --> 00:33:15,953.3333333
Behind one day.
497
00:33:17,423.3333333 --> 00:33:18,233.3333333
And.
498
00:33:23,3.3333333 --> 00:33:23,723.3333333
Really.
499
00:33:27,743.3333333 --> 00:33:29,723.3333333
I just don't even think it's.
500
00:33:30,383.3333333 --> 00:33:34,193.3333333
Really healthy or helpful to.
501
00:33:35,543.3333333 --> 00:33:40,223.3333333
Uh, for me personally, I can see how it's a wonderful.
502
00:33:43,283.3333333 --> 00:33:46,553.3333333
Idea and eye and thought and practice.
503
00:33:46,553.3333333 --> 00:33:50,363.3333333
And I'm so grateful for the photographs left behind.
504
00:33:50,873.3333333 --> 00:33:52,403.3333333
By people that are no longer here.
505
00:33:52,403.3333333 --> 00:33:53,153.3333333
Yes, of course.
506
00:33:53,183.3333333 --> 00:34:06,863.3333333
But in terms of like individual consciousness in an individual's personal life, And outside of like their legacy and like w how their work impacts generations to come I think about.
507
00:34:09,703.3333333 --> 00:34:11,293.3333333
How every.
508
00:34:13,633.3333333 --> 00:34:14,473.3333333
Picture.
509
00:34:16,913.3333333 --> 00:34:17,423.3333333
Is.
510
00:34:18,863.3333333 --> 00:34:19,763.3333333
Such.
511
00:34:21,113.3333333 --> 00:34:21,893.3333333
Not the point.
512
00:34:21,893.3333333 --> 00:34:23,573.3333333
And I know I've said that a million times, but.
513
00:34:23,573.3333333 --> 00:34:24,563.3333333
It's like the.
514
00:34:26,93.3333333 --> 00:34:27,23.3333333
Receipt.
515
00:34:27,233.3333333 --> 00:34:28,823.3333333
It's like the evidence.
516
00:34:30,413.3333333 --> 00:34:33,53.3333333
To rediscover or not.
517
00:34:34,253.3333333 --> 00:34:34,643.3333333
From.
518
00:34:35,183.3333333 --> 00:34:36,263.3333333
Y.
519
00:34:36,953.3333333 --> 00:34:37,853.3333333
And how.
520
00:34:39,143.3333333 --> 00:34:41,753.3333333
You have become who you are.
521
00:34:43,273.3333333 --> 00:34:44,893.3333333
With the NLP work.
522
00:34:44,893.3333333 --> 00:34:45,943.3333333
I've done.
523
00:34:48,763.3333333 --> 00:34:51,733.3333333
It's actually pretty fascinating how.
524
00:34:53,773.3333333 --> 00:34:54,913.3333333
It's the stuff.
525
00:34:55,513.3333333 --> 00:34:59,113.3333333
That we don't necessarily remember.
526
00:35:01,93.3333333 --> 00:35:02,533.3333333
That is running our lives.
527
00:35:05,453.3333333 --> 00:35:06,113.3333333
So.
528
00:35:07,133.3333333 --> 00:35:09,143.3333333
We could really distract ourselves with.
529
00:35:09,383.3333333 --> 00:35:10,223.3333333
Trying.
530
00:35:10,223.3333333 --> 00:35:11,3.3333333
Too.
531
00:35:11,3.3333333 --> 00:35:16,283.3333333
Do whatever we can to make it last or remember not forget.
532
00:35:17,663.3333333 --> 00:35:25,183.3333333
But at the end of the day, The most of the things that make up who we are.
533
00:35:29,443.3333333 --> 00:35:31,543.3333333
Are these constellations.
534
00:35:33,163.3333333 --> 00:35:36,223.3333333
That are left in our physical body.
535
00:35:36,823.3333333 --> 00:35:38,293.3333333
These experiences.
536
00:35:40,783.3333333 --> 00:35:44,923.3333333
But our brain can't possibly remember all of it.
537
00:35:45,643.3333333 --> 00:35:46,513.3333333
All of the time.
538
00:35:49,13.3333333 --> 00:35:50,273.3333333
It's so strange.
539
00:35:56,343.3333333 --> 00:35:57,693.3333333
Like I was feeling okay.
540
00:35:57,693.3333333 --> 00:35:58,323.3333333
I'm almost done.
541
00:35:58,743.3333333 --> 00:36:00,723.3333333
I was filling up cause I'm like seriously tired.
542
00:36:00,933.3333333 --> 00:36:01,683.3333333
Uh, I was feeling.
543
00:36:03,513.3333333 --> 00:36:04,593.3333333
Um, doing this.
544
00:36:04,833.3333333 --> 00:36:05,703.3333333
The artist's way thing.
545
00:36:05,703.3333333 --> 00:36:08,913.3333333
And it asks some questions about like being a kid.
546
00:36:08,913.3333333 --> 00:36:13,743.3333333
And I infamously tell myself, like, I just don't barely remember fucking anything from being kit.
547
00:36:14,433.3333333 --> 00:36:15,183.3333333
And.
548
00:36:16,293.3333333 --> 00:36:17,223.3333333
All of a sudden.
549
00:36:18,243.3333333 --> 00:36:20,523.3333333
There were a few.
550
00:36:21,543.3333333 --> 00:36:23,193.3333333
Kind of core memories.
551
00:36:23,673.3333333 --> 00:36:26,493.3333333
That came back that I hadn't thought of in.
552
00:36:28,143.3333333 --> 00:36:31,833.3333333
Oh, I mean, The at least 20 years.
553
00:36:34,443.3333333 --> 00:36:35,583.3333333
When I thought of them.
554
00:36:36,273.3333333 --> 00:36:38,193.3333333
I, my mouth kind of floated open.
555
00:36:38,223.3333333 --> 00:36:47,733.3333333
I was like, Oh, Oh, maybe.
556
00:36:48,813.3333333 --> 00:36:49,653.3333333
That.
557
00:36:51,993.3333333 --> 00:36:53,883.3333333
Obscure incident.
558
00:36:54,783.3333333 --> 00:36:59,403.3333333
Had a profound effect on the direction I ended up taking in life.
559
00:36:59,943.3333333 --> 00:37:01,233.3333333
And I was so busy.
560
00:37:01,713.3333333 --> 00:37:03,633.3333333
Looking at these major events.
561
00:37:04,503.3333333 --> 00:37:06,753.3333333
And I'm not minimizing the major events that we do.
562
00:37:06,753.3333333 --> 00:37:07,383.3333333
Remember.
563
00:37:07,563.3333333 --> 00:37:08,823.3333333
There's plenty of.
564
00:37:10,53.3333333 --> 00:37:13,743.3333333
Hugely impactful life, altering things that.
565
00:37:14,553.3333333 --> 00:37:15,513.3333333
We sure as fuck.
566
00:37:15,543.3333333 --> 00:37:16,23.3333333
Remember.
567
00:37:20,763.3333333 --> 00:37:22,503.3333333
But those are.
568
00:37:23,253.3333333 --> 00:37:26,223.3333333
Like the easy, obvious ones.
569
00:37:40,503.3333333 --> 00:37:41,283.3333333
I think.
570
00:37:45,933.3333333 --> 00:37:47,133.3333333
For me.
571
00:37:47,853.3333333 --> 00:37:51,333.3333333
This tuning in and the stripping down of.
572
00:37:52,263.3333333 --> 00:38:00,243.3333333
You know, Judgment or trying to do something well or not? Well, or whatever that I have with my photo practice.
573
00:38:02,313.3333333 --> 00:38:03,693.3333333
It feels like.
574
00:38:04,893.3333333 --> 00:38:07,353.3333333
A little safety net for me too.
575
00:38:08,343.3333333 --> 00:38:10,293.3333333
One day, if it's meant to be.
576
00:38:10,863.3333333 --> 00:38:12,783.3333333
Happened upon a photograph.
577
00:38:13,863.3333333 --> 00:38:18,603.3333333
That helps me make more sense of myself and my life.
578
00:38:21,363.3333333 --> 00:38:22,803.3333333
Because we're always looking.
579
00:38:23,613.3333333 --> 00:38:24,3.3333333
For.
580
00:38:28,143.3333333 --> 00:38:29,763.3333333
Oh way too.
581
00:38:31,53.3333333 --> 00:38:33,453.3333333
Scratch an itch and understand.
582
00:38:43,293.3333333 --> 00:38:43,653.3333333
All right.
583
00:38:43,953.3333333 --> 00:38:45,693.3333333
I'm babbling now I'm babbling.
584
00:38:45,963.3333333 --> 00:38:46,323.3333333
Go home.
585
00:38:46,353.3333333 --> 00:38:47,343.3333333
Bianca, go home.
586
00:38:47,403.3333333 --> 00:38:47,943.3333333
I am home.
587
00:38:49,203.3333333 --> 00:38:49,593.3333333
Okay.
588
00:38:51,273.3333333 --> 00:38:55,293.3333333
So for the last time, No pressure.
589
00:38:55,713.3333333 --> 00:38:56,493.3333333
But.
590
00:38:58,293.3333333 --> 00:39:03,153.3333333
But there's the link in the show notes to a canvas.
591
00:39:03,213.3333333 --> 00:39:04,143.3333333
Template.
592
00:39:05,13.3333333 --> 00:39:11,283.3333333
And I would love for you to write a love letter to yourself with your own pictures.
593
00:39:12,813.3333333 --> 00:39:18,273.3333333
And avoid anything that isn't accomplishment or helping or serving others.
594
00:39:20,373.3333333 --> 00:39:24,633.3333333
Love yourself outside of what you can do or be for other people.
595
00:39:28,743.3333333 --> 00:39:29,823.3333333
And the kicker is.
596
00:39:35,373.3333333 --> 00:39:37,83.3333333
That, when we do that.
597
00:39:37,833.3333333 --> 00:39:42,153.3333333
When we do the hard thing of like really finding.
598
00:39:44,493.3333333 --> 00:39:45,453.3333333
Ourselves.
599
00:39:47,103.3333333 --> 00:39:49,143.3333333
And loving ourselves.
600
00:39:51,723.3333333 --> 00:39:54,153.3333333
We're so much better for other people.
601
00:39:58,893.3333333 --> 00:40:00,933.3333333
Oh, Okay.
602
00:40:01,923.3333333 --> 00:40:04,833.3333333
Sending so much love and the biggest hug.
603
00:40:05,433.3333333 --> 00:40:07,683.3333333
And I will catch you next week.
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,989.99999999978
I think about.
2
00:00:02,229.9999999998 --> 00:00:03,819.9999999998
How every.
3
00:00:05,359.9999999998 --> 00:00:06,199.9999999998
Picture.
4
00:00:08,639.9999999999 --> 00:00:09,149.9999999998
Is.
5
00:00:10,590 --> 00:00:11,490
Such.
6
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:13,620
Not the point.
7
00:00:13,620 --> 00:00:15,300
And I know I've said that a million times, but.
8
00:00:15,300 --> 00:00:16,290
It's like the.
9
00:00:17,820 --> 00:00:18,750
Receipt.
10
00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:20,550
It's like the evidence.
11
00:00:22,140 --> 00:00:25,140
To rediscover y.
12
00:00:25,830 --> 00:00:26,730
And how.
13
00:00:26,730 --> 00:00:29,340
You have become who you are.
14
00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,810
It's actually pretty fascinating how.
15
00:00:33,810 --> 00:00:34,950
It's the stuff.
16
00:00:35,550 --> 00:00:39,150
That we don't necessarily remember.
17
00:00:41,130 --> 00:00:42,570
That is running our lives.
18
00:00:45,470 --> 00:00:47,480
We could really distract ourselves with.
19
00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:48,560
Trying.
20
00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:49,340
Too.
21
00:00:49,340 --> 00:00:54,620
Do whatever we can to make it last or remember not forget.
22
00:00:56,000 --> 00:01:03,520
But at the end of the day, The most of the things that make up who we are.
23
00:01:04,980 --> 00:01:07,080
Are these constellations.
24
00:01:08,700 --> 00:01:11,760
That are left in our physical body.
25
00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:13,830
These experiences.
26
00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:19,460
But our brain can't possibly remember all of it.
27
00:01:20,180 --> 00:01:21,050
All of the time.
28
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:24,810
It's so strange.
29
00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:34,540
Help Me See is a podcast dedicated to the art of seeing.
30
00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:41,870
It's a space for the restless visionary with an insatiable desire to create the life and work you're meant for.
31
00:01:42,845 --> 00:01:51,965
My name is Bianca Lea Mora, and I'm a photographic artist, a mother, and a coach who's transformed my fear of loss into power, art, and philosophy.
32
00:01:52,235 --> 00:02:05,395
One of the scariest quotes I never want to say is, I wish I knew at the time, but I truly believe that we have the innate ability to bring our wise 2020 hindsight to our now.
33
00:02:06,295 --> 00:02:13,534.999
You can deeply experience your nostalgia now, while it's actually happening, with no regrets.
34
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:15,965
All you have to do is see.
35
00:02:17,065 --> 00:02:32,915
In this show, we laugh, we cry, we get inspired, we overshare, we have life changing conversations around making meaning, self discovery, and shedding all the BS layers in order to reconnect to our own sacred vision.
36
00:02:33,725 --> 00:02:37,385
Seeing yourself is an essential key to living powerfully.
37
00:02:37,795 --> 00:02:42,605
You are the vessel, the lens that filters absolutely everything in your life.
38
00:02:43,564.999 --> 00:03:05,120
What are you filtering for? Whether it be conversations with fellow artists and visionaries, or my solo audio journal style introspective ramblings, each episode is meant to feel like an exhale, an unraveling of truth, a moment for you to be able to put your finger on something that you haven't been able to for far too long.
39
00:03:06,679.999 --> 00:03:08,749.999
Come exactly as you are.
40
00:03:09,39.999 --> 00:03:09,899.999
It's perfect.
41
00:03:10,609.999 --> 00:03:12,129.999
Honor your instincts.
42
00:03:12,189.999 --> 00:03:17,809.999
Let's uncover some of the most important things in our lives which all too often can slip out from our view.
43
00:03:19,135 --> 00:03:26,015
Let's commit to seeing and consciously creating what only you can in your one and only life.
44
00:03:27,155 --> 00:03:27,825
Let's dive in.
45
00:03:30,173.33333333 --> 00:03:34,13.33333333
Have they hello? And welcome to another episode of help me see.
46
00:03:37,283.33333333 --> 00:03:38,993.33333333
So today's episode.
47
00:03:41,123.33333333 --> 00:03:42,863.33333333
Is about.
48
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The dreaded self love topic.
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I have no choice.
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I actually have no choice in the matter, because.
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Last episode I had that, um, Mini breakdown, breakthrough, where I.
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Discover that my aversion.
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To sitting with photographs.
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Would mean that I would have to end up being confronted with.
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Loving myself.
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And so I spent the last week.
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Digging into that.
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Uh, I've been doing the.
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Artist's way I have had it for some time.
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And.
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It starting to pop up into my atmosphere.
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I have a few friends that are doing it and.
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I kept feeling compelled to do it, but also didn't really want to, and as I start the process, now, it is quite obvious to me why.
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I didn't want to do it.
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And it's all making sense.
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And I was going to do like the spiciest thing ever, which is read you a couple pages from my morning pages, which is like, not allow, you're not even supposed to reread your own morning pages, let alone share them, let alone broadcast them.
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But I was going to, because it felt like super important, but then as I'm sitting here, I am not.
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Fucking with you.
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I actually cannot read my handwriting.
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Like it is.
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Absolutely atrocious.
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Like I should have, uh, a doctorate degree with the style of writing.
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Um, But the, just the, just.
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That I wanted to get across that I uncovered.
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Was.
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My intolerance for.
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Even journaling.
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Oh, right.
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I'm supposed to write three pages every morning and it feels like torture.
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I'm like, okay.
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All right.
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I know.
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No, no, no, no.
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Like, what is it? Why can't I just sit here and write more? Uh, you know, the subconscious like stream of consciousness, as soon as you wake up writing.
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And.
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I kind of landed in the spot of where it felt like, oh, This isn't quote unquote, getting anything done.
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This isn't really serving anyone.
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This isn't checking something off.
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This is not getting ahead of my day.
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This is just for me.
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This is just me.
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Giving space.
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And validation listening to and witnessing myself.
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In written form.
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So.
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I started thinking about like, what is even like, how do I even love myself? Like, what do I love about myself? And anything that I was thinking about.
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Was completely linked to.
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Someone else.
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Or a relationship or being of service.
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And I'm not saying that in this like falsely humble way, I'm saying that in a.
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Honest, like everything I thought of, I was like, wait a minute.
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But that.
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Is something that is for other people.
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Oh, yeah.
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Okay.
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I do that.
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So that I can bababa other people.
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And then, so that, you know, I can serve in this way or, um, I don't, it was just this weird moment where I just felt like, oh, Everything I'm thinking about is in relationship to other people.
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Um, Like if I ask you right now, What do you.
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Love about yourself.
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What comes up.
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Like for instance, I think about like, oh, caring, loyal.
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It's like for other people.
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Four.
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Animals loyal for other people, like w what's coming up that is not linked to someone.
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Else.
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And I'm not saying it's wrong, but I was just felt like weird about it.
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I'm like something tells me this is not the point of this.
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Like, this is not.
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Where I personally want to.
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Find compassion and love for myself is in how well I deem that I serve other people.
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So.
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I was having a really hard time getting to it like thought wise and cognitively.
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So I decided to, um, not be a hypocrite and look to my pictures.
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So this month in nostalgia now at well, every month they make a template and I give some prompts and you're supposed to look at the last month of your.
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Life and photos and just fill in the couple of slots.
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There are four photographs according to the prompt.
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And so I'm going to share that template.
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In the show notes, um, free for everyone to download and do this activity for yourself.
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I would really love.
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Uh, if you took the time to do this and really make it like inactivity for like a yummy thing, like whether you have a coffee or a tea or a glass of wine, um, with the lights just right.
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Um, snuggled up in your, on your couch or in your chair, uh, play some music and do this.
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I personally can't play music with words because I can't hear myself when I'm listening to someone else's words, but.
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Um, maybe some instrumentals, whatever.
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Um, I'll explain it to you right now.
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It says, um, Write yourself a love letter in the language of your own pictures.
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Love yourself in a visual language of you.
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Avoid pictures that are accomplishments.
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Slash helping slash serving others.
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Find loving yourself outside of what you can do or be for other people.
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And so there are a handful of slots for you.
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I pick pictures and obviously, um, it doesn't have to be a metaphorical, but like it's.
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I don't know how often a literal photograph will come across.
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Um, that feels right.
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Uh, the pictures that I chose, um, Signaled something in me.
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So, um, there's that, and then the second page is pick the most important image that can say everything.
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Sit with it for an uncomfortable amount of time.
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Um, so of those images, like pick one, That you're like, this is, you know, queen B, like this is.
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The the one picture.
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That I would equate to loving myself.
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And sit with it.
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Just stare at it.
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For an uncomfortable amount of time.
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I don't know what that is.
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I mean, I feel like it's uncomfortable for a minute, but I'd say five times that five minutes, 10 minutes, 20 minutes.
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And then.
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Um, the last page, there's a journal prompt and it says, close your eyes and breathe.
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Look at the pictures.
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Like look at the pictures you chose.
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How does it feel? What did you quote unquote, say.
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What does it mean? Is it hard? Y.
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And why that one image.
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And it says, print this month's page and look at it as many times as you need.
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Um, So.
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I'm just going to walk you through my experience of it because.
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It's not that I'm, I'm not trying to convince you to do anything like.
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Take what you want.
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Leave what you don't.
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But I am.
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A person who identifies with.
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Assuming that I get the point, like I get the point of this.
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It's like I have done so much glazing when it comes to myself.
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And I put so much effort and thought into.
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With something that I'm doing for someone else.
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And I totally glaze past myself all the time.
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And.
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When I.
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Was stopping and looking at the photographs and looking at each one and writing about it.
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It's exactly.
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It's exactly what I needed from it.
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Like everything just came because everything is there.
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And everything is there.
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In the evidence of like the photographs I've already taken.
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It's all here.
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It's all here.
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It already happened.
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Those layers that don't.
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Explain themselves in the moment.
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It's just this.
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Unsayable thing that occurs.
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In this journaling exercise, it really felt like a massaging of that, of like a.
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I'm attempting to say it and I'm bringing it more to life.
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That way.
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So I'm just going to read what I wrote.
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It is not anything.
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Edited or it's literally stream of consciousness from that journal prompt.
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Uh, and inspired by the images that I chose.
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TIS validated strong wise, knowing present peace, resilient, empowered.
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I always touched the evidence.
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I see it, it follows me.
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I am it.
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Forever.
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I am the evidence.
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I don't have to look for it.
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I am at.
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I just have the superpower of recognizing it outside of myself everywhere.
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I weave threads and the threads come to life.
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I have this eighth sense.
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I know, I feel it is.
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I am.
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Of course the overlap in synchronicities are always happening.
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I manifest it.
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I am one with it.
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It is not outside of me.
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It is me.
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I break the manual.
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I am the manual in real time.
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In every breath I can imperfectly underline that.
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And it is perfect.
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I also do not need to acquire it.
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I don't have that book, but I am that book.
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I am infinite.
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My braking is pure light.
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And unsearchable distance and unquenchable thirst, but I can allow myself to rest in that.
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And that is beautiful.
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And unsearchable distance doesn't equal unforgiving efforting, it's embodying and remembering.
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And I remember all the time in a million ways.
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I sit in the caves of banality.
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I take the clothes off the hangers.
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I unpack and I sit in the mess and love the mess, and then let the mess dissolve.
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I sit in caves with windows because I always see the light, but the dark feels so important.
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I can be with both.
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I reach and I reach and I reach, and sometimes I remember that I don't have to reach.
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I just have to raise my hand towards the sky.
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So I can see the light.
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Move in and around my presence in the space.
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Even when I'm at my most frayed and my most ungrounded and my least present.
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And least centered.
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I always see.
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I unconditionally.
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I notice and see.
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I am always exactly what I need to be.
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It's hard to break past the initial impulse to look for my love in what I can be and do for others.
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But once you name it and break past that filter, it's so clear.
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It's so easy.
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I love myself.
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There's so many reasons to love myself.
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And I need no reason to love myself, just as I say to my children.
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For every reason for no reason beyond reason.
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And why this particular image.
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I love how I always look into the light, even though it burns my eyes.
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My lines are the evidence of not just my seeing, but my being.
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In everything I see.
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I took the photo because even though I struggled to get past that first layer, My subconscious, my impulse, always an exactly knows.
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This is evidence.
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I am pure love and pure light.
257
00:17:03,753.3333333 --> 00:17:05,883.3333333
So I had done that.
258
00:17:07,623.3333333 --> 00:17:10,53.3333333
Oh, and I had also, oh, I really made this an experience.
259
00:17:10,83.3333333 --> 00:17:17,523.3333333
I put photo booth on recording video behind the screen, like of my Canva, that I was doing that in.
260
00:17:18,63.3333333 --> 00:17:21,183.3333333
And I recorded myself and, you know, forget it was there.
261
00:17:22,173.3333333 --> 00:17:24,903.3333333
And I like cried on and off through writing this.
262
00:17:25,653.3333333 --> 00:17:27,813.3333333
And you know that with the.
263
00:17:28,563.3333333 --> 00:17:29,553.3333333
Instrumental music.
264
00:17:29,553.3333333 --> 00:17:34,443.3333333
It was very, quite dramatic, but also in all seriousness, super fucking important.
265
00:17:35,13.3333333 --> 00:17:37,593.3333333
Because very, very important.
266
00:17:37,923.3333333 --> 00:17:41,733.3333333
Um, I know it might be hard to really understand what's going on.
267
00:17:41,823.3333333 --> 00:17:44,373.3333333
Um, Um, with the writing because it's in reference to.
268
00:17:45,3.3333333 --> 00:17:47,643.3333333
Um, pictures that I chose that you're not seeing right now.
269
00:17:47,673.3333333 --> 00:17:50,523.3333333
And, um, just inside references.
270
00:17:50,673.3333333 --> 00:17:53,763.3333333
You know, like inside jokes, but inside for references for myself.
271
00:17:54,363.3333333 --> 00:17:56,553.3333333
Uh, but that's the point and.
272
00:18:03,993.3333333 --> 00:18:06,443.3333333
I think it's extremely important.
273
00:18:08,663.3333333 --> 00:18:12,953.3333333
T put the care and time and space and attention.
274
00:18:15,323.3333333 --> 00:18:16,523.3333333
Into yourself.
275
00:18:19,793.3333333 --> 00:18:21,413.3333333
In the same way.
276
00:18:21,953.3333333 --> 00:18:23,423.3333333
That you would do it for others.
277
00:18:23,963.3333333 --> 00:18:24,833.3333333
Without a blink.
278
00:18:29,933.3333333 --> 00:18:32,93.3333333
And in reference to that last.
279
00:18:33,173.3333333 --> 00:18:36,143.3333333
Paragraph, it's an image I took of.
280
00:18:37,493.3333333 --> 00:18:40,73.3333333
Um, myself, I was crying and.
281
00:18:40,943.3333333 --> 00:18:42,23.3333333
Sometimes.
282
00:18:43,553.3333333 --> 00:18:50,663.3333333
In moments like that, I will just find myself absentmindedly, grabbing my phone, taking a selfie and continuing on.
283
00:18:51,623.3333333 --> 00:18:52,313.3333333
And.
284
00:18:54,803.3333333 --> 00:18:56,123.3333333
You know, it's funny that.
285
00:18:57,923.3333333 --> 00:19:01,313.3333333
So many I've seen online people criticizing.
286
00:19:01,943.3333333 --> 00:19:12,773.3333333
People for videotaping themselves cry or taking pictures of them crying and dis you know, discrediting the validity of the emotion or the experience because they did that.
287
00:19:14,793.3333333 --> 00:19:15,933.3333333
It feels like.
288
00:19:18,543.3333333 --> 00:19:19,893.3333333
Shaming that.
289
00:19:21,723.3333333 --> 00:19:22,203.3333333
Is.
290
00:19:23,613.3333333 --> 00:19:26,553.3333333
And attempted to like mute or dull or.
291
00:19:26,553.3333333 --> 00:19:29,13.3333333
Minimize a person that's not afraid.
292
00:19:29,913.3333333 --> 00:19:30,753.3333333
Too.
293
00:19:33,213.3333333 --> 00:19:39,453.3333333
Really sink in and immerse themselves in that emotional state and share it with others.
294
00:19:41,313.3333333 --> 00:19:42,93.3333333
And I don't.
295
00:19:43,593.3333333 --> 00:19:50,103.3333333
No, Y I get that impulse to take the photos, but I blindly follow that impulse.
296
00:19:51,543.3333333 --> 00:19:55,953.3333333
It's been my life's work to let myself blindly follow my impulse to take photos.
297
00:19:56,613.3333333 --> 00:19:59,883.3333333
And there are plenty of times where I take photos that I never want to look at those photos again.
298
00:20:00,813.3333333 --> 00:20:01,593.3333333
And I never do.
299
00:20:03,243.3333333 --> 00:20:09,753.3333333
Um, But in a moment like this.
300
00:20:12,633.3333333 --> 00:20:16,53.3333333
Where I just so happen to have taken a photo this past month.
301
00:20:16,803.3333333 --> 00:20:19,203.3333333
Because I was having such a fricking.
302
00:20:20,133.3333333 --> 00:20:21,903.3333333
Experience such a moment.
303
00:20:22,563.3333333 --> 00:20:24,213.3333333
And I'm looking at it and.
304
00:20:25,983.3333333 --> 00:20:27,93.3333333
There's so much about it.
305
00:20:27,723.3333333 --> 00:20:29,283.3333333
That I needed to see.
306
00:20:29,733.3333333 --> 00:20:30,903.3333333
And I needed to write about.
307
00:20:31,833.3333333 --> 00:20:35,523.3333333
Like the lines I have on my forehead that drive me fucking crazy.
308
00:20:37,653.3333333 --> 00:20:40,23.3333333
Like all of a sudden those became.
309
00:20:43,683.3333333 --> 00:20:44,433.3333333
Important.
310
00:20:45,993.3333333 --> 00:20:47,703.3333333
And of course I have them.
311
00:20:51,243.3333333 --> 00:20:55,383.3333333
Because they're evidence of my being in my experience and not just.
312
00:20:56,823.3333333 --> 00:20:59,223.3333333
Seeing or looking blankly.
313
00:20:59,943.3333333 --> 00:21:01,383.3333333
It's my contorted face.
314
00:21:01,773.3333333 --> 00:21:05,103.3333333
Time after time after time that's made those lines.
315
00:21:09,63.3333333 --> 00:21:16,803.3333333
Whenever I cry sometimes I'll try to stop myself by looking up into the light, to like air out the bottoms of my eyes.
316
00:21:18,123.3333333 --> 00:21:18,633.3333333
And.
317
00:21:19,623.3333333 --> 00:21:22,743.3333333
In that moment, it was just so easy to say.
318
00:21:23,823.3333333 --> 00:21:27,633.3333333
I always look into the light, even though it burns my eyes.
319
00:21:31,203.3333333 --> 00:21:31,743.3333333
I don't know.
320
00:21:31,953.3333333 --> 00:21:37,803.3333333
I feel like I feel myself being like, oh, this is just so corny to explain it in this way.
321
00:21:38,223.3333333 --> 00:21:41,913.3333333
Or like it's so literal and on the nose and all, but also.
322
00:21:43,413.3333333 --> 00:21:45,243.3333333
Can we stop being too cool.
323
00:21:45,753.3333333 --> 00:21:48,33.3333333
To just be straightforward and say the fucking thing.
324
00:21:49,863.3333333 --> 00:21:50,313.3333333
I mean.
325
00:21:53,763.3333333 --> 00:21:55,173.3333333
Really helped me.
326
00:21:57,153.3333333 --> 00:22:00,393.3333333
To be like, Oh, I know why those lines are there.
327
00:22:01,323.3333333 --> 00:22:03,213.3333333
I respect why those lines are there.
328
00:22:05,853.3333333 --> 00:22:07,833.3333333
I know my eyes are sensitive and they hurt.
329
00:22:09,183.3333333 --> 00:22:11,793.3333333
I have always look into the light anyway.
330
00:22:16,743.3333333 --> 00:22:18,783.3333333
And I know that I'm sensitive and I hurt.
331
00:22:19,833.3333333 --> 00:22:21,723.3333333
But I always look into the light anyway.
332
00:22:27,123.3333333 --> 00:22:31,503.3333333
Just like everyone wants to talk about self care, but it's like a very specific kind of self care.
333
00:22:32,223.3333333 --> 00:22:32,823.3333333
It's like the.
334
00:22:34,983.3333333 --> 00:22:36,333.3333333
The self care that's.
335
00:22:39,513.3333333 --> 00:22:41,703.3333333
No taking care of your body.
336
00:22:42,903.3333333 --> 00:22:43,923.3333333
Where your skin.
337
00:22:45,753.3333333 --> 00:22:49,293.3333333
But it's not, I don't really hear people.
338
00:22:50,523.3333333 --> 00:22:52,473.3333333
Boldly loving themselves.
339
00:22:53,283.3333333 --> 00:22:57,333.3333333
And I don't know that I'm quite ready to boldly love myself either.
340
00:23:00,453.3333333 --> 00:23:02,193.3333333
But this was a hell of a start.
341
00:23:03,503.3333333 --> 00:23:04,373.3333333
It almost feels like.
342
00:23:05,393.3333333 --> 00:23:09,533.3333333
Wellness is like, Self self care.
343
00:23:09,953.3333333 --> 00:23:12,923.3333333
Is it, the parallel that I draw to it is.
344
00:23:14,153.3333333 --> 00:23:14,543.3333333
The.
345
00:23:15,593.3333333 --> 00:23:16,733.3333333
No makeup makeup.
346
00:23:16,733.3333333 --> 00:23:20,663.3333333
Look, it's like the makeup and it's like a lot of makeup required to do the makeup.
347
00:23:20,753.3333333 --> 00:23:21,263.3333333
No makeup.
348
00:23:21,293.3333333 --> 00:23:21,683.3333333
Look.
349
00:23:23,153.3333333 --> 00:23:23,933.3333333
I'm not judging.
350
00:23:24,23.3333333 --> 00:23:25,493.3333333
I love it as well.
351
00:23:26,123.3333333 --> 00:23:28,223.3333333
I'm just saying, that's what it feels like.
352
00:23:28,223.3333333 --> 00:23:29,33.3333333
It feels like.
353
00:23:32,693.3333333 --> 00:23:34,313.3333333
Love yourself in this way.
354
00:23:36,863.3333333 --> 00:23:37,313.3333333
I don't know.
355
00:23:38,63.3333333 --> 00:23:40,253.3333333
It's probably just all my projections and bullshit.
356
00:23:42,53.3333333 --> 00:23:45,23.3333333
You could be sitting here being like, um, I don't even know what you're talking about.
357
00:23:51,533.3333333 --> 00:23:56,153.3333333
It just felt very important for me to bring this up and make it a thing.
358
00:23:57,353.3333333 --> 00:24:01,463.3333333
Make it a thing, make it a episode on this podcast because.
359
00:24:03,323.3333333 --> 00:24:04,433.3333333
Help me see.
360
00:24:05,3.3333333 --> 00:24:06,773.3333333
Is a lot about.
361
00:24:07,373.3333333 --> 00:24:17,993.3333333
Seeing and relating to the world and, um, Your work in it and your art and your, the way you're living your life and yes, being, but.
362
00:24:19,73.3333333 --> 00:24:25,133.3333333
I myself as the literal, like voice behind this podcast, feel like.
363
00:24:30,203.3333333 --> 00:24:31,583.3333333
The one thing.
364
00:24:34,163.3333333 --> 00:24:39,203.3333333
I actually haven't really, really done is.
365
00:24:39,803.3333333 --> 00:24:42,203.3333333
Honestly sat with.
366
00:24:43,673.3333333 --> 00:24:46,403.3333333
Loving myself and tolerating that.
367
00:24:48,533.3333333 --> 00:24:49,463.3333333
I've glazed.
368
00:24:51,113.3333333 --> 00:25:01,553.3333333
What have you glazed over? Is there something that comes to mind? Immediately, like what have you glazed over that? If you know.
369
00:25:02,393.3333333 --> 00:25:03,893.3333333
You know, would be the thing.
370
00:25:04,523.3333333 --> 00:25:09,203.3333333
If you just gave it more attention, like the thing to help ease all other things.
371
00:25:12,693.3333333 --> 00:25:13,863.3333333
How can we find.
372
00:25:15,153.3333333 --> 00:25:16,953.3333333
What's the main thing.
373
00:25:17,403.3333333 --> 00:25:19,743.3333333
The root, not just the symptom.
374
00:25:23,163.3333333 --> 00:25:23,913.3333333
And I don't know.
375
00:25:23,913.3333333 --> 00:25:26,313.3333333
I mean, who knows what will come of this, but.
376
00:25:27,423.3333333 --> 00:25:32,853.3333333
I do definitely know that there was a sticking point when I got to that sentence where.
377
00:25:33,603.3333333 --> 00:25:37,23.3333333
I realized that sitting still with necessitate.
378
00:25:38,253.3333333 --> 00:25:38,553.3333333
Like.
379
00:25:39,483.3333333 --> 00:25:41,133.3333333
Looking myself in the eye.
380
00:25:41,553.3333333 --> 00:25:42,153.3333333
In that way.
381
00:25:43,983.3333333 --> 00:25:46,743.3333333
And so for this last week, that's what I've sat with.
382
00:25:46,953.3333333 --> 00:25:47,553.3333333
And.
383
00:25:48,393.3333333 --> 00:25:52,83.3333333
Um, I'm going to put this link to this template in the show notes.
384
00:25:52,113.3333333 --> 00:25:57,213.3333333
I hope that you, um, take it and use it as soon as you, when you click it, you don't have to do anything else.
385
00:25:57,243.3333333 --> 00:25:58,203.3333333
It'll make a copy.
386
00:25:58,683.3333333 --> 00:26:01,473.3333333
Um, for you to just plug and play.
387
00:26:01,503.3333333 --> 00:26:02,853.3333333
I usually go into my.
388
00:26:03,543.3333333 --> 00:26:10,773.3333333
Uh, photo scroll on my phone and I will, um, Send myself a handful of photos.
389
00:26:11,163.3333333 --> 00:26:16,233.3333333
I upload it to Canva and then I'll drag and drop, uh, into the template as, as needed.
390
00:26:17,703.3333333 --> 00:26:22,203.3333333
Um, I would love to hear your experience.
391
00:26:23,463.3333333 --> 00:26:24,393.3333333
If you do.
392
00:26:24,993.3333333 --> 00:26:27,753.3333333
Uh, fill out the template or really, really, really would.
393
00:26:28,263.3333333 --> 00:26:31,983.3333333
Uh, you will see mine when you download the template.
394
00:26:33,243.3333333 --> 00:26:34,233.3333333
And.
395
00:26:36,153.3333333 --> 00:26:37,23.3333333
Yeah, I.
396
00:26:39,903.3333333 --> 00:26:40,533.3333333
I don't know.
397
00:26:42,183.3333333 --> 00:26:43,533.3333333
I'm doing this with you.
398
00:26:45,263.3333333 --> 00:26:46,493.3333333
Give yourself.
399
00:26:47,663.3333333 --> 00:26:48,863.3333333
Time and space.
400
00:26:50,153.3333333 --> 00:26:51,863.3333333
And I know, oh yes.
401
00:26:51,953.3333333 --> 00:26:57,143.3333333
Some of us struggle more than others with finding time and finding space.
402
00:26:57,623.3333333 --> 00:27:03,443.3333333
But if we're honest with ourselves, There is time.
403
00:27:04,313.3333333 --> 00:27:06,563.3333333
To sit and be with ourselves.
404
00:27:09,293.3333333 --> 00:27:10,433.3333333
There is time.
405
00:27:15,293.3333333 --> 00:27:15,923.3333333
To stop.
406
00:27:16,973.3333333 --> 00:27:17,903.3333333
Consuming.
407
00:27:18,903.3333333 --> 00:27:19,473.3333333
Peoples.
408
00:27:20,253.3333333 --> 00:27:20,913.3333333
Thoughts.
409
00:27:21,303.3333333 --> 00:27:21,843.3333333
And.
410
00:27:23,673.3333333 --> 00:27:24,753.3333333
Opinions.
411
00:27:26,613.3333333 --> 00:27:27,723.3333333
There is time.
412
00:27:29,913.3333333 --> 00:27:31,353.3333333
To sit with yourself.
413
00:27:49,483.3333333 --> 00:27:51,193.3333333
Okay, I'm coming back.
414
00:27:51,493.3333333 --> 00:27:56,923.3333333
This episode was supposed to be done, but, uh, I had cut it off because I had to go.
415
00:27:57,253.3333333 --> 00:28:00,673.3333333
Drop off, um, the babysitter back home.
416
00:28:01,273.3333333 --> 00:28:02,83.3333333
And.
417
00:28:03,343.3333333 --> 00:28:03,973.3333333
I was like, yeah.
418
00:28:04,393.3333333 --> 00:28:05,203.3333333
That's enough.
419
00:28:06,253.3333333 --> 00:28:06,823.3333333
That's enough.
420
00:28:08,503.3333333 --> 00:28:09,223.3333333
But.
421
00:28:09,853.3333333 --> 00:28:11,923.3333333
Since I stopped recording.
422
00:28:13,123.3333333 --> 00:28:14,953.3333333
I wanted to share something that came up.
423
00:28:15,133.3333333 --> 00:28:17,653.3333333
Uh, I mentioned before that I'm doing the artist way.
424
00:28:18,313.3333333 --> 00:28:22,333.3333333
And one of the prompts that I was having to write.
425
00:28:22,903.3333333 --> 00:28:23,563.3333333
Was.
426
00:28:24,193.3333333 --> 00:28:29,863.3333333
Uh, I had to pretend to be my 80 year old self and write a letter to my self now.
427
00:28:32,203.3333333 --> 00:28:32,563.3333333
Sorry.
428
00:28:32,593.3333333 --> 00:28:33,403.3333333
Excuse me.
429
00:28:33,613.3333333 --> 00:28:34,813.3333333
It's 10 30 at night.
430
00:28:34,903.3333333 --> 00:28:36,223.3333333
This is like dumb.
431
00:28:36,223.3333333 --> 00:28:38,563.3333333
It's really not even that like groundbreaking, but.
432
00:28:39,943.3333333 --> 00:28:45,523.3333333
It's just like P S I just want to share this.
433
00:28:46,123.3333333 --> 00:28:47,473.3333333
It's like the text you.
434
00:28:48,13.3333333 --> 00:28:50,173.3333333
Share with your friend after you get off the phone with her.
435
00:28:50,173.3333333 --> 00:28:52,723.3333333
And you're like, I didn't mention this, but I just want to say.
436
00:28:52,813.3333333 --> 00:28:57,973.3333333
Um, Aye.
437
00:28:59,143.3333333 --> 00:28:59,653.3333333
So I wrote.
438
00:29:00,103.3333333 --> 00:29:02,83.3333333
I wrote the letter and.
439
00:29:05,293.3333333 --> 00:29:07,423.3333333
And I came back and looked at the template again.
440
00:29:07,873.3333333 --> 00:29:10,393.3333333
Uh, The one of the portraits.
441
00:29:10,663.3333333 --> 00:29:13,153.3333333
The main self portrait by.
442
00:29:13,813.3333333 --> 00:29:15,343.3333333
Have in the template.
443
00:29:16,513.3333333 --> 00:29:22,813.3333333
And I was like, oh, Oh, poor sweet girl.
444
00:29:27,343.3333333 --> 00:29:30,43.3333333
Like literally thinking that.
445
00:29:30,583.3333333 --> 00:29:33,163.3333333
About myself because.
446
00:29:34,723.3333333 --> 00:29:35,923.3333333
I was prompted.
447
00:29:36,703.3333333 --> 00:29:41,293.3333333
Do you put myself in that position where I'm like really imagining myself as an 80 year old.
448
00:29:42,133.3333333 --> 00:29:50,713.3333333
Um, And I do imagine that I'll be so, so kind, but also won't give a fuck by that point.
449
00:29:53,983.3333333 --> 00:29:56,593.3333333
Um, But anyway.
450
00:29:57,223.3333333 --> 00:29:58,603.3333333
You know, I've wrote the letter.
451
00:29:59,173.3333333 --> 00:30:01,543.3333333
And it was such a weird, interesting experience.
452
00:30:01,543.3333333 --> 00:30:02,83.3333333
And then.
453
00:30:03,343.3333333 --> 00:30:06,613.3333333
I came back and I looked at that photo of myself.
454
00:30:07,33.3333333 --> 00:30:07,693.3333333
From a template.
455
00:30:10,423.3333333 --> 00:30:10,963.3333333
And.
456
00:30:12,463.3333333 --> 00:30:13,843.3333333
I saw differently again.
457
00:30:17,683.3333333 --> 00:30:22,813.3333333
This is the importance and the gift of reflecting.
458
00:30:23,653.3333333 --> 00:30:25,723.3333333
With yourself in this way.
459
00:30:27,13.3333333 --> 00:30:28,573.3333333
Um, we always know that.
460
00:30:29,173.3333333 --> 00:30:35,923.3333333
Every time we look at a picture, although it's staying the same quote, unquote, our eyes are different.
461
00:30:35,983.3333333 --> 00:30:37,903.3333333
Every single time we look at it.
462
00:30:41,203.3333333 --> 00:30:42,613.3333333
Ourselves are different.
463
00:30:42,613.3333333 --> 00:30:43,603.3333333
We are different people.
464
00:30:43,603.3333333 --> 00:30:44,743.3333333
Every time we look at it.
465
00:30:52,813.3333333 --> 00:30:54,193.3333333
And I think that.
466
00:30:55,333.3333333 --> 00:30:56,833.3333333
It could be asking.
467
00:30:57,73.3333333 --> 00:31:02,23.3333333
It probably is asking too much of ourselves to do something like this.
468
00:31:02,743.3333333 --> 00:31:07,393.3333333
And I'll be like, oh, all of a sudden, I just love myself skipping through a field.
469
00:31:09,793.3333333 --> 00:31:14,413.3333333
Or just feel like you're completely in a different life.
470
00:31:14,443.3333333 --> 00:31:22,663.3333333
And all of a sudden everything is so effortless because you have your own back and you really, really mean it this time.
471
00:31:22,663.3333333 --> 00:31:22,843.3333333
And.
472
00:31:25,453.3333333 --> 00:31:26,533.3333333
But really.
473
00:31:28,513.3333333 --> 00:31:31,93.3333333
I think that the biggest.
474
00:31:32,173.3333333 --> 00:31:36,73.3333333
Thing you could do is have, allow yourself to get that moment of.
475
00:31:37,573.3333333 --> 00:31:40,303.3333333
Oh, For yourself.
476
00:31:41,113.3333333 --> 00:31:48,763.3333333
I think not pitying yourself, but like, Just softening with yourself in that way.
477
00:31:48,943.3333333 --> 00:31:50,203.3333333
Whichever way.
478
00:31:50,983.3333333 --> 00:31:52,123.3333333
You can get there.
479
00:31:54,313.3333333 --> 00:31:55,573.3333333
In the same way.
480
00:31:57,823.3333333 --> 00:32:02,53.3333333
We could instantly break down in tears, seeing a random picture.
481
00:32:02,563.3333333 --> 00:32:05,623.3333333
Our kid or our friend took of us when we weren't looking.
482
00:32:05,923.3333333 --> 00:32:08,593.3333333
Because inherently, when you look at that, you just think about.
483
00:32:09,13.3333333 --> 00:32:13,63.3333333
Their seat and the FA their seat of viewing us and.
484
00:32:14,83.3333333 --> 00:32:16,663.3333333
And how they took that picture because love.
485
00:32:17,173.3333333 --> 00:32:25,903.3333333
Or because of whatever, you know, Allow yourself to scooch over in your seat of consciousness and.
486
00:32:27,943.3333333 --> 00:32:29,893.3333333
Look at the stuff that you chose.
487
00:32:30,763.3333333 --> 00:32:37,63.3333333
If you decide to do this template, and if not, just look at the pictures that you've taken on your photo scroll.
488
00:32:37,633.3333333 --> 00:32:38,863.3333333
Just have your everyday life.
489
00:32:40,543.3333333 --> 00:32:43,333.3333333
Just go, huh? Look at that.
490
00:32:47,143.3333333 --> 00:32:48,403.3333333
Look at all this.
491
00:32:52,433.3333333 --> 00:32:54,113.3333333
Whereas listening to an audio book and.
492
00:32:54,983.3333333 --> 00:32:57,953.3333333
Um, Well, they had mentioned the innate.
493
00:33:00,383.3333333 --> 00:33:08,3.3333333
Striving for permanence in whatever way, grappling with wanting to do something that's left behind or.
494
00:33:08,783.3333333 --> 00:33:12,443.3333333
Romanticizing this idea of like leaving.
495
00:33:12,953.3333333 --> 00:33:14,153.3333333
Something of us.
496
00:33:14,423.3333333 --> 00:33:15,953.3333333
Behind one day.
497
00:33:17,423.3333333 --> 00:33:18,233.3333333
And.
498
00:33:23,3.3333333 --> 00:33:23,723.3333333
Really.
499
00:33:27,743.3333333 --> 00:33:29,723.3333333
I just don't even think it's.
500
00:33:30,383.3333333 --> 00:33:34,193.3333333
Really healthy or helpful to.
501
00:33:35,543.3333333 --> 00:33:40,223.3333333
Uh, for me personally, I can see how it's a wonderful.
502
00:33:43,283.3333333 --> 00:33:46,553.3333333
Idea and eye and thought and practice.
503
00:33:46,553.3333333 --> 00:33:50,363.3333333
And I'm so grateful for the photographs left behind.
504
00:33:50,873.3333333 --> 00:33:52,403.3333333
By people that are no longer here.
505
00:33:52,403.3333333 --> 00:33:53,153.3333333
Yes, of course.
506
00:33:53,183.3333333 --> 00:34:06,863.3333333
But in terms of like individual consciousness in an individual's personal life, And outside of like their legacy and like w how their work impacts generations to come I think about.
507
00:34:09,703.3333333 --> 00:34:11,293.3333333
How every.
508
00:34:13,633.3333333 --> 00:34:14,473.3333333
Picture.
509
00:34:16,913.3333333 --> 00:34:17,423.3333333
Is.
510
00:34:18,863.3333333 --> 00:34:19,763.3333333
Such.
511
00:34:21,113.3333333 --> 00:34:21,893.3333333
Not the point.
512
00:34:21,893.3333333 --> 00:34:23,573.3333333
And I know I've said that a million times, but.
513
00:34:23,573.3333333 --> 00:34:24,563.3333333
It's like the.
514
00:34:26,93.3333333 --> 00:34:27,23.3333333
Receipt.
515
00:34:27,233.3333333 --> 00:34:28,823.3333333
It's like the evidence.
516
00:34:30,413.3333333 --> 00:34:33,53.3333333
To rediscover or not.
517
00:34:34,253.3333333 --> 00:34:34,643.3333333
From.
518
00:34:35,183.3333333 --> 00:34:36,263.3333333
Y.
519
00:34:36,953.3333333 --> 00:34:37,853.3333333
And how.
520
00:34:39,143.3333333 --> 00:34:41,753.3333333
You have become who you are.
521
00:34:43,273.3333333 --> 00:34:44,893.3333333
With the NLP work.
522
00:34:44,893.3333333 --> 00:34:45,943.3333333
I've done.
523
00:34:48,763.3333333 --> 00:34:51,733.3333333
It's actually pretty fascinating how.
524
00:34:53,773.3333333 --> 00:34:54,913.3333333
It's the stuff.
525
00:34:55,513.3333333 --> 00:34:59,113.3333333
That we don't necessarily remember.
526
00:35:01,93.3333333 --> 00:35:02,533.3333333
That is running our lives.
527
00:35:05,453.3333333 --> 00:35:06,113.3333333
So.
528
00:35:07,133.3333333 --> 00:35:09,143.3333333
We could really distract ourselves with.
529
00:35:09,383.3333333 --> 00:35:10,223.3333333
Trying.
530
00:35:10,223.3333333 --> 00:35:11,3.3333333
Too.
531
00:35:11,3.3333333 --> 00:35:16,283.3333333
Do whatever we can to make it last or remember not forget.
532
00:35:17,663.3333333 --> 00:35:25,183.3333333
But at the end of the day, The most of the things that make up who we are.
533
00:35:29,443.3333333 --> 00:35:31,543.3333333
Are these constellations.
534
00:35:33,163.3333333 --> 00:35:36,223.3333333
That are left in our physical body.
535
00:35:36,823.3333333 --> 00:35:38,293.3333333
These experiences.
536
00:35:40,783.3333333 --> 00:35:44,923.3333333
But our brain can't possibly remember all of it.
537
00:35:45,643.3333333 --> 00:35:46,513.3333333
All of the time.
538
00:35:49,13.3333333 --> 00:35:50,273.3333333
It's so strange.
539
00:35:56,343.3333333 --> 00:35:57,693.3333333
Like I was feeling okay.
540
00:35:57,693.3333333 --> 00:35:58,323.3333333
I'm almost done.
541
00:35:58,743.3333333 --> 00:36:00,723.3333333
I was filling up cause I'm like seriously tired.
542
00:36:00,933.3333333 --> 00:36:01,683.3333333
Uh, I was feeling.
543
00:36:03,513.3333333 --> 00:36:04,593.3333333
Um, doing this.
544
00:36:04,833.3333333 --> 00:36:05,703.3333333
The artist's way thing.
545
00:36:05,703.3333333 --> 00:36:08,913.3333333
And it asks some questions about like being a kid.
546
00:36:08,913.3333333 --> 00:36:13,743.3333333
And I infamously tell myself, like, I just don't barely remember fucking anything from being kit.
547
00:36:14,433.3333333 --> 00:36:15,183.3333333
And.
548
00:36:16,293.3333333 --> 00:36:17,223.3333333
All of a sudden.
549
00:36:18,243.3333333 --> 00:36:20,523.3333333
There were a few.
550
00:36:21,543.3333333 --> 00:36:23,193.3333333
Kind of core memories.
551
00:36:23,673.3333333 --> 00:36:26,493.3333333
That came back that I hadn't thought of in.
552
00:36:28,143.3333333 --> 00:36:31,833.3333333
Oh, I mean, The at least 20 years.
553
00:36:34,443.3333333 --> 00:36:35,583.3333333
When I thought of them.
554
00:36:36,273.3333333 --> 00:36:38,193.3333333
I, my mouth kind of floated open.
555
00:36:38,223.3333333 --> 00:36:47,733.3333333
I was like, Oh, Oh, maybe.
556
00:36:48,813.3333333 --> 00:36:49,653.3333333
That.
557
00:36:51,993.3333333 --> 00:36:53,883.3333333
Obscure incident.
558
00:36:54,783.3333333 --> 00:36:59,403.3333333
Had a profound effect on the direction I ended up taking in life.
559
00:36:59,943.3333333 --> 00:37:01,233.3333333
And I was so busy.
560
00:37:01,713.3333333 --> 00:37:03,633.3333333
Looking at these major events.
561
00:37:04,503.3333333 --> 00:37:06,753.3333333
And I'm not minimizing the major events that we do.
562
00:37:06,753.3333333 --> 00:37:07,383.3333333
Remember.
563
00:37:07,563.3333333 --> 00:37:08,823.3333333
There's plenty of.
564
00:37:10,53.3333333 --> 00:37:13,743.3333333
Hugely impactful life, altering things that.
565
00:37:14,553.3333333 --> 00:37:15,513.3333333
We sure as fuck.
566
00:37:15,543.3333333 --> 00:37:16,23.3333333
Remember.
567
00:37:20,763.3333333 --> 00:37:22,503.3333333
But those are.
568
00:37:23,253.3333333 --> 00:37:26,223.3333333
Like the easy, obvious ones.
569
00:37:40,503.3333333 --> 00:37:41,283.3333333
I think.
570
00:37:45,933.3333333 --> 00:37:47,133.3333333
For me.
571
00:37:47,853.3333333 --> 00:37:51,333.3333333
This tuning in and the stripping down of.
572
00:37:52,263.3333333 --> 00:38:00,243.3333333
You know, Judgment or trying to do something well or not? Well, or whatever that I have with my photo practice.
573
00:38:02,313.3333333 --> 00:38:03,693.3333333
It feels like.
574
00:38:04,893.3333333 --> 00:38:07,353.3333333
A little safety net for me too.
575
00:38:08,343.3333333 --> 00:38:10,293.3333333
One day, if it's meant to be.
576
00:38:10,863.3333333 --> 00:38:12,783.3333333
Happened upon a photograph.
577
00:38:13,863.3333333 --> 00:38:18,603.3333333
That helps me make more sense of myself and my life.
578
00:38:21,363.3333333 --> 00:38:22,803.3333333
Because we're always looking.
579
00:38:23,613.3333333 --> 00:38:24,3.3333333
For.
580
00:38:28,143.3333333 --> 00:38:29,763.3333333
Oh way too.
581
00:38:31,53.3333333 --> 00:38:33,453.3333333
Scratch an itch and understand.
582
00:38:43,293.3333333 --> 00:38:43,653.3333333
All right.
583
00:38:43,953.3333333 --> 00:38:45,693.3333333
I'm babbling now I'm babbling.
584
00:38:45,963.3333333 --> 00:38:46,323.3333333
Go home.
585
00:38:46,353.3333333 --> 00:38:47,343.3333333
Bianca, go home.
586
00:38:47,403.3333333 --> 00:38:47,943.3333333
I am home.
587
00:38:49,203.3333333 --> 00:38:49,593.3333333
Okay.
588
00:38:51,273.3333333 --> 00:38:55,293.3333333
So for the last time, No pressure.
589
00:38:55,713.3333333 --> 00:38:56,493.3333333
But.
590
00:38:58,293.3333333 --> 00:39:03,153.3333333
But there's the link in the show notes to a canvas.
591
00:39:03,213.3333333 --> 00:39:04,143.3333333
Template.
592
00:39:05,13.3333333 --> 00:39:11,283.3333333
And I would love for you to write a love letter to yourself with your own pictures.
593
00:39:12,813.3333333 --> 00:39:18,273.3333333
And avoid anything that isn't accomplishment or helping or serving others.
594
00:39:20,373.3333333 --> 00:39:24,633.3333333
Love yourself outside of what you can do or be for other people.
595
00:39:28,743.3333333 --> 00:39:29,823.3333333
And the kicker is.
596
00:39:35,373.3333333 --> 00:39:37,83.3333333
That, when we do that.
597
00:39:37,833.3333333 --> 00:39:42,153.3333333
When we do the hard thing of like really finding.
598
00:39:44,493.3333333 --> 00:39:45,453.3333333
Ourselves.
599
00:39:47,103.3333333 --> 00:39:49,143.3333333
And loving ourselves.
600
00:39:51,723.3333333 --> 00:39:54,153.3333333
We're so much better for other people.
601
00:39:58,893.3333333 --> 00:40:00,933.3333333
Oh, Okay.
602
00:40:01,923.3333333 --> 00:40:04,833.3333333
Sending so much love and the biggest hug.
603
00:40:05,433.3333333 --> 00:40:07,683.3333333
And I will catch you next week.
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